Four days had gone by since Jibril's ultimatum. Only three were left. Then the first week would be up.
He didn't believe that Jibril was bluffing. It would be counterproductive to bluff. If Jibril let the first seven days pass with no penalty, Hawk would have no incentive to complete his work.
Were Redinger and Eagle Squadron on their way yet? Did they even know where to look? If help didn't arrive soon…
He moved his gaze to Sarah. She was seated on a metal chair on the other side of the plain wooden table that held the computer equipment. They were deep inside the hull of the ship—he could hear the throb of the engines through the far bulkhead. The furnishings on this level were utilitarian rather than luxurious. Hawk guessed that this particular room had been designed as a lunch room for the crew before Jibril had converted it to serve as an extension of their prison.
There were no portholes here. The room was bare, apart from the computer equipment, a wooden table that served as a desk and two metal chairs. The computer wasn't any desktop chain-store variety, it was state-of-the-art, with enough speed and memory to be the envy of any research lab. Acquiring it couldn't have been easy—this was probably the cause of the two-day delay before Jibril had revealed his intentions. It couldn't have been cheap, either, but Jibril would regard it as an investment, just like the cost of hiring Weltzer.
In addition to the guards who looked over Hawk's shoulder, two flanked the room's entrance, their weapons at the ready. Another pair waited in the corridor. Two more stood behind Sarah, watching her every move. She sat serenely. Although she kept her arms crossed and her hands tucked protectively beneath her elbows, her face was a mask of calm.
She wouldn't let them see her fear. She didn't like to let Hawk see it, either.
Yet she couldn't hide from him. She might have locked her terror into a compartment behind her sworn duty, but he knew it was always there. He caught glimpses of it at times when her fingers trembled or when her gaze turned inward, as if she were listening to commands only she could hear. The awareness that had started on a Stockholm sidewalk more than a week ago was strengthening with each hour that passed. She chewed her cheek when she was uncertain. She stiffened her back when she was trying to be brave. The gold flecks in her eyes sparked when she was angry and glowed when she was thoughtful.
There were more details, intimate ones, that only a lover should know. Hawk had absorbed every one of them. She brushed her hair before she went to sleep. She liked to tuck in the blanket at the foot of the bed. She started the night curled on her side, yet by dawn she was usually sprawled on her stomach, her fine blond hair spread on the pillow around her head like a halo. In the morning, before she was fully awake, her lips would slowly purse. Her lashes would flutter while her body stretched beneath the blanket. Sometimes she made a sound, part sigh and part groan, as if she wanted to cling to the shelter she found in her dreams.
Each morning he would sit by the door and watch her awaken. And each morning he thought about crossing the room, drawing the covers aside, lying down beside her and pulling her into his arms. Those were the worst times, when the equations he did in his head all night no longer worked and his control was worn thin. That was when he wondered why he was bothering to be noble. What difference would it make whether it was only lust? He and Sarah might never get off this ship alive. Why not relieve at least one source of the tension they were feeling?
Four times, he'd come so close. But then the ship would roll with a wave or heavy footsteps would sound in the corridor and Sarah awoke with her armor already firmly in place.
He hated that armor, but he knew her well enough by now to understand how much a part of her it was. She used it to shield her heart. She seemed to need it more than she needed him. So whatever it took, he would help her get through this, he would keep her safe. Even if that meant safe from him.
Hawk returned his gaze to the computer screen. Three days left. Only three. And he couldn't make sense of the numbers he saw. He swore.
"Dr. Lemay needs a break," Sarah said. "May we have some coffee, please?"
Hawk slammed his fist on the table beside the keyboard. "I don't need a break. I need new software."
Ahmed stepped forward. He was the guard who appeared to be the most fluent in English. He was also the one in command, so he had been the one to relay Hawk's requests to Jibril. "What is the problem?" he asked.
Hawk jerked his head at the screen. "I'm trying to run a modeling sequence, but the software on this unit doesn't have the mathematical capabilities I need."
"What program do you require?"
"It was custom-designed at Stanford for particle physics research. It's installed on the mainframe in my lab there."
"You will have to work with what is here."
"Do you want to explain to the prince why Fedor Yegdenovich develops fusion power for Russia first? He has the program. So does every serious physicist in the world."
Ahmed narrowed his eyes. "You work with what is here," he repeated.
"All I need is to link this computer to the one in my lab. I could download the program in minutes."
"No."
Hawk returned his fingers to the keyboard. "Here's the remote access code for the server and my password. Hook this unit up to your communications system and—"
"No, you are not permitted to establish a link."
"Dammit, you're wasting time. Let me talk to Jibril myself," Hawk said, reaching for the radio that was clipped to Ahmed's belt.
Instantly his elbows were seized and wrenched behind him. From the corner of his eye, he saw two other guards move in on Sarah.
Ahmed kept his gaze on Hawk as he unclipped the radio. He had a brief conversation in Arabic, then jammed the radio to the side of Hawk's head so the receiver was against his ear.
"I had been expecting this, Hawkins."
At the sound of Jibril's high-pitched voice, Hawk's vision filled with red. This was the first time he'd had any contact with the bastard since Jibril had uttered his obscene threat. He looked at Sarah and fought to control his temper. Whatever it took, he reminded himself. "Jibril, I need—"
"It's disappointing. I hadn't expected such a transparent attempt."
"Transparent?"
"What were you planning to do once you established your communication link, Hawkins? Send an e-mail message for help perhaps? Post information about your location on the Internet?"
"For God's sake, this isn't a trick. If you won't let me link to my own computer, then you download the files yourself. Or get the program from someone else." He paused. He took a steadying breath, then spoke through his teeth. "I'm admitting that you've won, Jibril. You always win, just as you won Faith. You've given me no choice but to do what you want. I'm begging you. Let me do it."
* * *
Sarah sat cross-legged in the center of the bed, drawing the gold-plated brush through her hair. The ritual usually soothed her, but it didn't tonight. She was worried. Until now, Hawk had been holding up well, but she could see that the strain was getting to him. The outburst this afternoon was uncharacteristic—she knew he usually could exert much more self-control.
He hadn't spoken more than ten words since they had been escorted back to their quarters after Hawk's "work" session. They had gone through the routine of checking for surveillance devices, just as they did each time they left their room, but his movements had been abrupt and edgy.
He'd asked the guards to allow him to jog around the deck after their dinner, but naturally permission had been denied. Ahmed and his men weren't taking any chances. Although no land was visible through the portholes on this side of the ship, Sarah could tell by the change in the air that the Faith must be in the Mediterranean by now. Going into the water here wouldn't necessarily be suicidal as it would be in the North Atlantic. That was why the guards were keeping their weapons drawn and their formation tight during the daily walk from this room to the windowless box where Hawk was expected to work. They were barely gi
ving them space to move. They wouldn't allow Hawk the freedom to run.
So instead of jogging to work off his tension, Hawk had stripped down to his boxer shorts and was on the floor, apparently going for the world's record for sit-ups.
Sarah remembered the last time she'd seen him exercise like this. The determination in his eyes was the same as it had been that afternoon in the hotel gym. Was the reason for it the same, too? Was he trying to get his feelings under control?
I'm admitting that you've won, Jibril. You always win, just as you won Faith.
Hawk was so focused on his work—and Sarah was trying so hard to stay calm—sometimes she forgot how complicated this ordeal must be for him. He'd sounded so…defeated.
She lowered the brush to her lap. She should have seen this coming. She knew Hawk tended to hold himself responsible for their situation, but just how deep did his guilt go? "Hawk, you know what's happening isn't personal, don't you?"
He curled forward, his abs contracting into a perfect six-pack. He replied on the way back down. "You've made that very clear, Sarah. That's why I sleep on the floor."
"I don't mean about us," she said quickly. "I meant the whole situation."
"Better explain that to me."
"Jibril's doing this for the power he hopes to gain, not because of you."
He did two more reps, breathing deliberately with each one. "I'm the one who's supposed to give him that power."
"Yes, the fusion energy. That's what he wants. This isn't really about your past. If that Russian scientist, Yegdenovich, had been the closest one to making the breakthrough, he would be here now, not you."
"Fedor wouldn't sell out his country."
"You're missing the point. I've seen men like Jibril in action before. He's a petty despot who uses any means available to get what he wants. This isn't about the history you and he share, it's about his greed."
Hawk stopped, draping one arm across his forehead as he lay on his back. He breathed deeply for a minute, staring at the ceiling. "Sometimes I wonder. Maybe I did choose to research fusion energy out of a desire for revenge."
"No. I don't believe that."
"What if I brought this nightmare on us myself because deep in my subconscious I did want to ruin Jibril?"
"He said those things because he was viewing you through his own warped motivations."
"You have to admit, it would have been a subtle way to get even. Cheap, renewable energy would destroy the economy of Moukim."
"Sure, but if you'd wanted revenge, then why would you have gone to the trouble of trying to bargain with Jibril to introduce fusion energy gradually?"
"That wasn't one of my brighter ideas." He turned over, flattened his palms against the floor and started on a series of push-ups.
She watched the muscles bunch across his shoulders. She ached to run her hands over his back to smooth out his tension. She dropped the brush on the pillow behind her, braced her hands on the mattress and leaned forward. "Hawk, it's not in your nature to be so devious. That's not how you are. You're a good man."
He looked at her sideways, his jaw hard. "I'm not a saint, Sarah. Would you mind sitting up?"
She glanced down at herself. She and Hawk had been given some spare clothes a few days ago, but only the basic necessities. The white T-shirt she used for sleeping had likely been borrowed from a member of the ship's crew. It was far too large for her. The V-neckline was gaping loosely over her bare breasts.
She straightened up and tugged the neckline into place. Sitting cross-legged wasn't such a good idea, either, she thought, bringing her thighs together and shifting her legs to one side.
Hawk moved his gaze back to the floor and continued his push-ups.
Sarah tried to remember what she'd wanted to say. "Did you ever blame Jibril for what happened to Faith?"
He paused with his arms extended, his body poised above the floor. "No. Faith's death was an accident. There was a heavy rainstorm. The roads were slippery and visibility was poor."
"What about for the way she left you? Do you blame him for that?"
He lowered himself slowly, then pushed up again. "No. It was Faith's decision."
"So you had no reason to seek revenge. I don't think you blame Faith, either. Last week Jibril was the one who made a crack about not being able to trust women, but you've never said a word against her."
He sat back on his heels and rubbed his chin. He remained silent.
"I know why you won't criticize her," Sarah said. "Besides being loyal to her because you loved her, you hold yourself responsible for the mistake. You think your judgment was off."
"It was." He looked at her. "Faith said what we had wasn't real."
It was too familiar, Sarah thought. In his words she heard an echo of the things they'd said to each other. Had she been right? Did Hawk's determination to hang on to her stem from the way he had lost Faith?
"I see what you're thinking," he said. "Don't."
"Hawk—"
"I was only twenty-one when I decided to marry Faith. I made a mistake. It wasn't her fault or Jibril's. I accepted that and learned from my experience. I'm not confusing you with her. You're two completely different people." He uncoiled from his crouch, straightening to his full height. His boxers slipped down a few inches. He hitched them up to rest at his hipbones. "I realize now I couldn't have really known Faith. That's why I wanted the chance to know you, Sarah."
"I'm not that complicated."
"I disagree, but that's a whole different topic." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the door. "Where's all this coming from, anyway? Why the sudden interest in my past?"
"I'm concerned about you. I see how hard it is for you to sit at the computer each day and pretend to do the work you used to love. This is tangled up with so many important things in your life, I can't imagine how awful that must be."
"The only important thing in my life right now is keeping you from harm. I'm doing whatever I have to."
"But you don't have to let Jibril push your buttons." She slid across the mattress so that she could swing her feet over the edge. "The point I was trying to make was that our situation isn't about your past. You don't have to feel responsible for it. All Jibril's talk about competitions and winning was meant to mess with your head. He wants your work. It isn't personal."
He raised his eyebrows. "Now I get it. Is this about my tantrum this afternoon?"
"It was more than a tantrum, Hawk. You seemed frantic over your work."
"I was telling the truth. Without the software I need, I can't make any progress."
"But you're not supposed to make any progress, remember?"
He pushed away from the door. He did a circuit of the room. "I know we already discussed this, Sarah. But I'm not sure how much Jibril knows."
"What do you mean?"
"I needed to keep up the farce. I wanted him to believe I'm cooperating because he's beaten me."
"You were very convincing."
"I had to be. I'm sorry if I caused you concern."
She turned her head to keep him in sight as he paced the floor. "When I saw you grab for Ahmed's radio, I was afraid the stress had gotten too much for you. From what I heard him tell Jibril before he let you speak, he thought you had cracked, too."
He walked to the bed and stopped in front of her. "Close, but not yet."
Sarah caught a whiff of soap and warm man. Hawk's skin was damp from his exercise. It gleamed beneath its dusting of dark hair. The veins on his arms were swollen, throbbing against his hardened muscles. He'd been allowed the use of a razor to shave that morning, but the beginning of his beard was already shadowing his jaw.
She thought about the first time she'd kissed him. He'd been hot and damp from a workout then, too.
She pressed her lips together, yet again trying to remember what she wanted to say. "Okay. That's good. So far you've done a great job stalling for time, but I realize it must be wearing on your nerves."
He returned
the perusal she had just given him. "There are a lot of things wearing on my nerves, Sarah."
She wanted to ask him to put on more clothes. How the hell was she supposed to keep her train of thought when he was strutting around in nothing but his boxers?
He exhaled hard. The mattress dipped as he sat on the bed beside her. "All I care about is your safety. I'll do whatever it takes to get you out of danger."
"Is that why you demanded that software?"
"Yes."
She could feel the heat of his bare thigh only inches away from her knee. She struggled to keep her mind on what he was saying. "You didn't really believe you could trick Jibril into letting you link to the Internet, did you?"
"No. He might be criminally insane but he's not stupid. He wouldn't give me the opportunity to send a message. I'm hoping my performance was convincing enough for him to send the message himself."
"I don't understand."
"I know how important winning is to Jibril. I mentioned Faith to him because I was pushing his buttons, not the other way around. I wanted him to take the bait."
"What bait?"
"The software I mentioned is very specific to the mathematical modeling needed for fusion research. Only someone with years of study in the field of particle physics would have any use for it. The instant Jibril tries to obtain the program, whether he does it through the computer in my lab or from the techs who developed it, he's going to signal my whereabouts to anyone who might be looking."
For a moment Sarah couldn't breathe. After so many days of simply enduring the wait and preparing herself for whatever horror might come, the spurt of hope took her by surprise. She grabbed his knee. "Oh, Hawk. You sent up a flare."
"Yes." He looked at her hand. His thigh hardened. He moved his gaze to her mouth. "You're smiling."
Was she? Yes, she could feel the pressure in her cheeks. It had been so long since she'd had anything to smile about, she couldn't remember the last time…
Oh, she remembered it now. It had been after the last time she and Hawk had made love. She'd been feeling smug and sated and they'd joked about doing it again….
Aim for the Heart Page 16
