The place Claudia’s mother had picked out was pretty freaking incredible. Luxury accommodations—a full kitchen and two bedrooms with queen-sized beds. Dario and April shared one room and the other bedroom, one overlooking the ocean, Claudia had to herself. I was stationed on a pullout couch in the common room, but I was fine with it. We spent our days laughing while we moved aimlessly through the streets of the city. Every night, we partied. We were having a great time together.
It was good to be here and see Claudia so happy. It gave me a sense of satisfaction. I’d done the right thing by letting go. Without holding on and without really losing her, we had both been able to move forward. Over the course of the last year and half, I’d been able to define what I wanted out of my life—I’d amended and streamlined it until I was sure I was working towards the kind of life that I saw myself having. And now, for the most part, I had it in place. I had friends, family, and finally a job—Claudia’s resume did the trick.
I was now a full-time carpenter with Delfino Brothers, Incorporated. My new bosses, two pisans, offered me a great package—benefits, holiday pay—the works. I was making more money than I’d ever made, doing work I honestly liked. I was fulfilled, as I’d never been. Still, it didn’t stop there. I had more ideas, more plans. Claudia continued to be a part of that picture.
I didn’t want to overwhelm Claudia with what I saw as our destiny—a future where we were together, but with us spending so much time in close proximity, I was getting impatient about keeping my hands to myself. I wasn’t sure how long I could continue to hold back. Running was my only outlet. As a last ditch effort, I tried to purge it from my system.
We spent our last night in Carlsbad at a local club, The Lounge, a seedy little dance bar that we hit several nights during our stay. The drinks were watered-down, the crowd was noisy and rude, but we called it ours. It was Claudia’s birthday, but she made us swear we wouldn’t buy her any gifts. So instead, we scored a coveted booth near the dance floor, didn’t allow her to pay for anything, and toasted her through several rounds of drinks. Dario and Claudia were out on the dance floor dancing to some obnoxious techno remix. April stayed back with me to order another round. I stared off at Claudia dancing with Dario, admiring the way she moved. Sighing, I forced myself back to conversation with April.
She glanced at me with knowing eyes. “You still got it bad for Claudia.”
I tapped my fingers on the table. “That obvious, huh?”
With a sly grin, she said, “Papi, you practically have moonbeams in your eyes.”
“Moonbeams?” I grunted, and then laughed. “That sounds like a serious condition.”
“Yes. And contagious. Over the week, Claudia seems to have developed the same condition. I believe I saw the identical look in her eyes, too.”
Wanting to hear more, I leaned forward. “Really?”
She nodded and then smirked. “I think you should just grab her and lick her like you did the first time. That seemed to work.”
I chuckled. “Tempting, but I can’t.”
“Because you’re seeing someone else?”
“Come on, April. You know Claude just as well as me. I can’t just throw myself on her, not after what happened between us. She’ll freak.”
“But you were hoping something would happen this week, weren’t you?”
“Sure, but even though nothing did, it was still a great week,” I said. “There’s always hope that if she comes home, things will fall into place.”
“Wait, so you don’t have a girlfriend?” April cocked her head. “And what do you mean ‘if’ she comes home?”
Laughing and breathless, Claudia and Dario came bounding back to the booth.
Dario held out his hand to April. “Let’s go, mama. Dance with me.”
April’s eyes lit up. Sliding out of the booth, she eagerly followed him onto the dance floor.
“Let’s go. Your turn to dance with the birthday girl,” Claudia put out her hand for mine.
I took her proffered hand without hesitating. On the dance floor, with all of us slightly buzzed, I entertained my friends with my off-the-cuff moves. With her arms loosely around my neck, Claudia was sweaty, and her natural smell intensified. I had to fight the impulse to pull her tighter to me.
“Thank you for coming out here to stay with me. The dinners, the beach, dancing—this week has been the best time I’ve had in years,” she hollered over the grinding beat. Her gaze dropped to my hairless chin. “I’m glad you shaved. Not a fan of the full beard. Such a handsome face should never be covered.”
Encouraged by her appreciation, I leaned down and rubbed my smooth cheek against hers.
“Nice,” she purred, stroking my face with her hand.
I was further buoyed by her touch. “Mmm. You smell edible, like coconut.”
Claudia angled her mouth to my ear, like she was telling a secret, and whispered, “That’s the piña coladas. They go down easy.”
Her breaths made my skin tingle.
I teased her. “You’re so laminated.”
“Am not!” She giggled, tightening her arms around my neck, and looking into my eyes. “I’m just having fun.”
I appreciated that we had finally arrived back to being relaxed with each other, but as her hips swayed sexily under my hands in rhythm to the music, Claudia held my gaze. The invitation seemed transparent, but still, I wondered if she was conscious of how she made me burn for her.
For the first time all week, I didn’t want to drive the hunger away. I wanted to feed it.
51. Claudia
“Wooo! Last one in the pool is a rotten egg!”
I raised my arms in the air and ran for the door of our hotel unit. I chucked my sandals on the floor and zipped into the bedroom to put on my bikini.
Tired of dancing, we were going to finish the night at the hotel’s heated, kidney-shaped pool.
Because of the late hour, the pool area was empty. April, Toby, and I sat on the edge with our feet in the water as Dario began swimming a backstroke across the pool and singing, “Volare, whoh, oh. Cantare, whoh, oh, oh, oh,” which made April and I giggle.
“God, I had so much fun tonight, but my feet hurt from all that dancing,” I groused.
Toby patted his lap. “Put ‘em up here. I’ll rub them.”
I eagerly lifted my legs out of the water and swiveled on my butt until he caught my feet and cradled them in his big hands. Concentrating on one, he pressed his thumbs firmly down over the balls of my foot. It hurt so good, and, closing my eyes, I sighed, “Ah, that feels amazing.”
Seemingly bolstered by my appreciation, he caressed my foot with more intensity, and, sliding his hand up the length my calf, he worked that, too. His touch blossomed like a warm vine curling around my senses. I leaned back on my elbows, one foot in Toby’s hands, the other resting against his ribcage. Our eyes met, and for a long exhilarating moment, neither of us could look away until April spoke.
“How soon after graduation are you coming home?” she asked.
Laying down made me conscious of how much I had to drink. My brain felt like it tilted to one side. I tried to order my thoughts. “Um, I’m not sure I’m coming home.”
Toby’s fingers rested on the instep of my foot. “If you’re staying at USC, that means you turned down the internship at Sterling.”
“You know about that?”
“Your dad told me.”
“My dad? Jeez, I don’t know if I like that you two are so friendly,” I said, but then shrugged. “I think I’d like to go home, but I hate to leave my mom.” I looked up at him. “It’s crazy, but now my feelings are reversed—I want to go to Long Island, but now I worry about how my mother is going to handle it.”
“Hey,” Toby said, rubbing the arch of my foot soothingly. “You’re twenty-two now. You can’t worry about what makes your parents happy all the time. You have to start thinking about where your future lies, where you want to be.”
April made an irritated
sound. “I didn’t know you were thinking about staying here. How come you didn’t tell me anything about this?”
“I knew you’d try to talk me into coming back to New York,” I made a pretense of adjusting my bikini top more comfortably. “I was accepted into USC’s as well as Stony Brook’s graduate programs, and I haven’t made a decision.”
“Really, mami, there’s nothing to decide. Your home is with us.” April scowled, her opposition clear.
I bit my lip. I didn’t want to do this with her. It would ruin the night, our last one together.
Toby nudged her. “Cool it, April. Claude doesn’t need that kind of pressure from you.”
“I’m not alone in wanting you to come home.” Ignoring the warning, April turned to Toby. “Tell her you want her to come home, too. Now would be a good time to tell her why you came here.” Without allowing him to answer, April blurted out, “He wants to get back together with you.”
I stared from one to the other, speechless.
Danger lit Toby’s eyes as he glowered at her. “April, what the fuck are you doing?”
“Don’t yell at me,” April pouted. “How will anything ever move forward between you two if she doesn’t come home?”
Numbly, I pulled my foot out of Toby’s hands and sat up. “Is this some kind of plan between you two?”
“No,” Toby started to say, but I didn’t hear much else. Water splashed noisily as April popped out of the pool and scampered to my side.
Forcing herself between Toby and me, she hugged me. “Chica, chica,” she squeezed my shoulders. “You’re my best friend. I want you to come home.”
By now, Dario had climbed out of the pool. Picking up a towel, he stepped up next to us. “Come on, my little trouble-maker,” he said, wrapping the towel around April’s shoulders. “I’m taking you inside and find some other way to keep your mouth occupied.”
April stood up and turned into him. “Dar, I want them to be as happy as we are.” Drawing her towards the walkway leading to our unit, Dario replied, “Yes, mama, but you need to let them find that happiness on their own.”
Until then, I hadn’t realized how trashed April was. As I tried to stand and swayed too, I didn’t know if I was in any better state than she was.
Toby rose up next to me, and taking hold of my elbow, he asked, “You okay?”
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t okay. We had gotten through the week in a mostly relaxed atmosphere. He had been funny and easy to be with, but there were instances when a glance seemed to hold a beat too long or a touch lingered for more than was called for. Considering our history, it was hard to ignore the subtle implications, but unwilling to let it spoil our week, I did just that.
Tonight, however, something had shifted. The mood at the dance club seemed to have blown everything open, and now, as he stood shirtless before me, the expanse of his muscled shoulders and bare chest taunted me to distraction. I was swarmed with a heady awareness of him. But still, I stepped closer—close enough that I could feel the heat from his body without touching him. I raised my eyes to his. “Is it true? Did you come here to try to start something up with me again?”
He inhaled noticeably and rubbed the back of his head, seemingly in distress. I took pleasure in knowing my nearness affected him like his did me.
“What if I said ‘yes’?”
“But, our relationship … it’s comfortable.”
“Comfortable?” Reaching out, he yanked me up against him. The hardness of his masculine body pressed into me as he held me tightly to him. The warmth of his bare chest hit me like scorching furnace. “Does this feel comfortable?”
I drew a sharp, quick breath. This close to him, I couldn’t think straight.
He didn’t smile. “It’s only comfortable as long as we’re twenty-five hundred miles apart,” he said roughly, his warm breath fanning my face. “Being here with you all week has been incredible, but comfortable? No, that’s not how I’d describe it.”
I struggled to remain calm. “What about your girlfriend, Leah?”
His eyes were intense; his lips drew into a thin line. “I haven’t seen that girl since February. But she was never my girlfriend. I haven’t had a girlfriend since you.”
“You lied to me!” I wrenched away from him.
With his fists clenched, he stood there watching me. “You wanted to believe I had moved on. I let you.”
Bristling with anger, I turned and ran up the walkway to our unit. It wasn’t so much that I’d believed a fabrication that made me angry, it was the fact that he was right. I had wanted to believe he was off limits, for him as well as for me. It had given us a line to toe. It had felt safer knowing we couldn’t go there. Now it was another dismissible barrier.
Our hotel unit was quiet, April and Dario’s bedroom door was shut. I made a dash for my own bedroom, but as I tried to shut the door, Toby pushed his way through. It infuriated me how composed he appeared as he calmly closed the door and approached me in the darkness.
Feeling exposed and defenseless, I crossed my arms. “Get out,” I ordered.
“Claude,” he said, putting a finger to my lips to silence me. “Stop pushing me away. I can tell by your reaction, you didn’t see this coming, but at least hear me out.” It was a long moment before he continued. “When you first agreed to go out with me, being with you was almost intimidating. I was blown away that you wanted to be with me because I put you on such a pedestal.” He picked up a strand of my hair. “You are so textbook perfect—the good girl with the big heart. I was so out of my element around you, but I worked hard to behave myself and be a decent guy. Even then, I always knew deep down inside, I’d never be enough, and that once you left for USC, you wouldn’t come back for me.”
“Coming here was never about getting away from you,” I rushed out.
“I know. You were following your dream.” A quick smile curved his lips. “I’ve always envied that ‘get it done’ mentality of yours. I needed someone like you in my life. I needed the push.”
“You don’t need me to motivate you anymore. You’re doing great on your own.”
“Yeah, it’s true, and that’s my point. Things are so much better for me now. I feel stronger than I ever have, but I still need you. Not to push me, but simply because I miss you when you’re not around. I miss talking to you, kissing you …” With his fingers, he gently stroked my bare shoulder continuing up the column of my neck. Automatically, I lifted my chin to allow him to continue, my whole body reeling from this touch.
“Claudia … I miss the way it feels inside me when I touch you.” His words came out tattered, and I was startled by the blatant ache I heard in their tenor. His tone, coupled with the soft look in his eyes, only further teased my own yearning for him. “Tell me you don’t miss me, and I’ll leave you alone.”
We stared at each other through a long, loaded silence. Unwilling to have him leave me, I wound my hands around his neck and pulled him to me until our mouths met. Our kiss was noisy, breathless and frantic—the result of the week’s building attraction. As if we didn’t need to breathe, our lips held to one another’s. I pushed myself against his bare chest, reveling in his hardness, while he palmed my backside. His strong hands held my butt firmly, and he lifted me, pressing me into him before spinning us around to the bed. He lowered me down slowly, his erection grinding against my pelvis and then my stomach. When my feet touched the carpet, without pause, I crawled onto the bed to lie across the flowered bedspread. He followed, moving over me until his body covered mine.
“Are we going to regret this?” I whispered the question, but I had already moved past caring about the repercussions.
He slid his hands down my arms until both sets of our fingers were intertwined. His eyes locked on mine as he pressed my hands back into the mattress on either side my head. With the weight of him on top of me, and my hands restrained, I felt vulnerable. Instead of being fearful, my desire grew. He lowered his face to my neck, his shallow breaths like gentle
strokes upon my skin. “Never,” he whispered.
With his teeth, he tugged at the strap of my bikini top, pulling at the stretchy material until he succeeded at exposing my right breast. A thrill licked hotly down my spine, and I quivered. In the dark, moonlight streamed over us from the room’s large window; he gazed down at me.
“I still dream about that night out in your backyard and the way it felt to be with you,” he murmured, lowering his head until his nose and then his mouth pressed against the crest of my collarbone. “I miss the way you smell,” he said softly, and his lips skimmed the sensitive skin just above my hardened nipple.
“Please,” I begged him, arching my back so he would take me in his mouth.
“No, not yet,” he whispered. “I’ll get there, but first I want to kiss you again.”
He let go of my hands, and I stayed still, mesmerized and more than a little eager, as he reached towards me to untie my bathing suit top and peel it off of me. His body was corded and tight with his arousal as he laid back over me, warming my skin with his. The sparse hairs of his chest tickling my breasts as he brought his lips back to mine. This time we kissed slowly, our mouths sipping and tasting each other’s as if we couldn’t get enough. His hands moved to cover my breasts, and I moaned my approval. He teased me, stroking me with his fingers as his mouth drifted down over my chin to my neck. As promised, he kissed my chest, paying attention to one side and then the other while I squirmed blissfully under him.
In our intimate twist, he lowered his hands to my bikini bottoms and began to pull them down my hips. I raised my knees up, hindering his efforts.
“No, we’re not having sex. Not tonight.”
“You sure? I have caps, in the other room. I’d be back in two seconds.”
I shook my head. Things were moving at a scary pace. “If you leave the room, you’re not coming back in.”
My own resistance surprised me. I waited, fearing he would call my bluff, but then he smiled, “Okay, okay. Can I at least give you a birthday present?”
Saving Toby Page 33
