by Aiden Bates
Bill pursed his lips. "I want a drink. I think I need a drink."
"Let's get a drink, then." Carter gestured toward the door. "Doctor's orders." He winked, and Finn couldn't help but smile a little.
They headed to an older, but classy bar within walking distance of the hospital. Even the auditors stayed with them, and Carter ordered the first round. Finn took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He'd found the perfect omega. Carter knew exactly how to help, and to help them all.
"I've seen embezzlers who did it because they were in a bad spot, financially." Johnston was the first to speak, after their drinks were delivered. "I've seen embezzlers who did it because they were being forced. I've never seen embezzlers who did it out of hate before. That's a new one."
"New one on me, too," Finn muttered into his Manhattan.
Bill scowled, but then he lifted his head. "You know what? I'm not going to waste another minute being angry at that man. Well, I'll always be angry. But I'm not going to be sad about it, not anymore. The fraud happened. It's disappointing, but I'm mostly disappointed in myself for not having noticed this about him before. Plenty of people commit fraud, for plenty of reasons."
Bill lifted his glass. "Tomorrow, we get back to work. Johnston and Freeman, you have audit reports. Wyszniewski, I understand you have a job offer to consider. Finn, you and I need to figure out how to help Silver Oak show a surplus at some point within the next few years.
"Tonight, though, tonight I want to celebrate. There was a thief. That thief was good at what he did, and he was in a position to be even better. Finn, you noticed that something was wrong right away. You weren't sure what, but you relied on your instincts and you got the resources you needed. You stood by the audit team as they saw things through and found the culprit. Your leadership solved this problem before it became a much bigger problem than it could have been, and you solved it as fast as it could have been solved.
"Johnston, Wyszniewski, Freeman—you did the digging. And you dug well. It took a ton of hard work to find what he buried. I'm proud of all four of you."
"To the Gang of Four." Carter gave a little smile that Finn would have sworn was meant for him alone and lifted his glass in a toast.
They all toasted to their success, and Finn had to admit that he was feeling pretty good about his boss' words. They couldn't have reasonably caught the thefts sooner, and they hadn't pulled out any stops to get to the bottom of it either. He still hated that he'd let it happen. He couldn't be sure that he hadn't been too distracted by all of the drama with Carter to stop it, at least to some extent, but he knew that they'd caught Gerig as quickly as they could.
After they finished their drinks, they all went their separate ways. Finn wanted to head home with Carter, and he got the impression that Carter wanted Finn to join him. Too many of their coworkers were right there, though, and they couldn't afford that kind of visibility.
Instead, Finn went home alone, and he called his omega. Carter answered right away, although Finn could hear the water running in the background. "Are you having a bath?"
"I was going to." Carter yawned. "It's been a long day, you know?"
"I forget that you just got home today." Finn sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was always screwing up when it came to Carter. Why couldn't he just know how to put his mate first?
"It's not like you had other things on your mind." Carter took a deep breath and let it out. "I've got to say, today was a new one. We do get the police in sometimes, but it's usually very different."
"I was there for one of those." Finn chuckled. "I'll admit that I wouldn't have minded seeing you knock Gerig out with one punch."
"I was thinking about it." There was a dark undercurrent to Carter's voice when he said that. Finn found it both shocking and deeply arousing. "But then I realized why the cops weren't intervening."
"The brain on you, Carter. All that brilliance for medicine and knowing law like that too?"
Carter snorted. "Yeah, no. I learned that in a romance novel, written by a cop." Finn heard a soft splash as Carter slipped into the tub. The water cut off. "Oh, that feels good."
"Wish I could be there to make you feel better."
"Yeah. Me too. There's always time, though." Carter's voice took on a softer note. "Are you okay?"
"I'm doing a little better since we went out for that drink. It was a great suggestion, actually." Finn scratched at his beard and tried not to think about Carter's bare body, covered in water.
"Sometimes we'll have a bad shift. And you know, if we're still on call or if we're still on duty or whatever we don't go near the bar or any booze or anything. But sometimes you have that one shift and you just need to bolster yourself, just enough to survive until you can get home." He sighed. "We try not to think about them much, but you can't save everyone."
Finn closed his eyes. "That's got to be a challenge for you."
"I do get a little competitive with the Reaper, when you get right down to it." Carter's laugh was silky, sensual. It sent a jolt right down Finn's spine. "I think everyone in medicine does. You going to be okay tonight?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just… I mean, I trusted Gerig, you know? The guy has the spare key to my house." Finn squirmed.
"Well, I don't think he'd have done anything before now, but I'd definitely get a locksmith out there soon." Carter let out a contented little hum. "In the meantime, try a hot bath. I've got to tell you, it's exactly the right thing for a long day."
Finn laughed and they hung up. He stared at the ceiling for a long moment taking in his day.
He headed into the bathroom and filled the tub with water that was almost, but not quite, too hot. Then, with a shrug, he sank himself into the bath.
Huh, he thought, as his tense muscles unknotted themselves. Carter was right.
Chapter Seventeen
Carter tried to settle back into life in Syracuse. He tried to tell himself that he was just jet lagged, but that was ridiculous. He wasn't jet lagged; San Antonio was only on central time, an hour behind Syracuse. He tried to tell himself that he was just having trouble adjusting to the change in weather, but that wasn't it either. The offices were climate controlled, for crying out loud, and it wasn't as though the horrors of the tundra had descended upon Onondaga County quite yet.
No, Carter was having trouble adjusting to the difference between who he'd been in San Antonio, how he'd felt in San Antonio, and who he was in Syracuse. In San Antonio, he hadn't been a celebrity but he'd been important. He'd been respected. That had just been at the conference, of course. Out on the street no one knew who he was. But he'd been surrounded by colleagues who were passionate about the same things that excited Carter, and that counted for a lot.
It wasn't that the people Carter worked with at Silver Oak weren't excited about obstetrics and helping people. They were. He just couldn't sit down with a room full of people, or even a table full of people, and have a discussion about the benefits versus the risks of epidurals complete with statistical analysis. He could sit down and have a fascinating conversation about snow. He could have a great conversation about helping a specific patient, but not about anything beyond the moment.
It hadn't bothered him before.
He needed a distraction. He needed to stop thinking about all of the things that he didn't have, and start thinking about the things that he did. He knew that he had plenty of colleagues who loved him, and the same people who'd all been at the conference and loved to sit there and talk about statistical analysis of birth rates and fertility would probably spend just as much time talking about sports and snow when they weren't at that conference. He had a house that he loved, on property that he adored. He had good friends, and he always knew how to have a good time.
Would he still have this sense of ennui if he hadn't lost the baby? Probably not.
Sometimes he caught sight of the mirror, or the calendar, and wondered. Would he be showing now? Probably not. He'd still only be about ten we
eks along or so. That wasn't enough to have a baby bump. He wasn't ever intended to have a child, and to be honest he was one of those who would probably have had to go to a C-section anyway. His hips had always been narrow and tiny.
He went through his work days like he normally did, and he tried not to let his malaise show up on his face. He performed his usual workouts, and he even added a little bit of extra running to them just to try to bully himself into a better mood. It didn't work, but he figured he'd at least get into better shape.
Tom came with Paul to his next appointment, which meant that they couldn't have Allen provide coverage for his exam. Tom tried to force his way into the exam room, but in this Carter was able to keep his former lover out with the use of Allen and the threat of security.
Paul wasn't grateful, of course. He stomped his little feet as he stood to be measured and huffed in irritation. "I don't see why you won't let him be in here for the exam. He's our alpha. I'm okay with him being in here."
"It's hospital policy." Carter took Paul's weight and height and noted them on Paul's chart. "If we made an exception for him, we'd have to let every overbearing father into the exam room, and that's not safe for some carrier parents." He glanced over at Paul and dropped his voice. "Besides, he's not our alpha. He's your alpha."
"Ugh. Is that really what this is all about? Are you really pouting because he's willing to take you in as charity?" Paul scoffed and sat back so that Carter could check his belly. "Get off your high horse. It's better than you have any right to expect. Just accept him."
Carter smirked at Paul's bluntness. He couldn't refute his erstwhile rival's assessment. "I'm perfectly happy without a partner, thank you. And why are you so concerned about me finding an alpha, anyway? You loathe me. I'd think that you'd be kicking up your heels with me saying no." He let his smirk extend a little, growing it into a conspiratorial little grin. "The only person there who doesn't realize that you don't want me there is your husband, and I'm pretty sure it's because he doesn't care."
Paul snarled, but looked away. "It's what he wants."
"That doesn't mean it's what's right. Not for you, not for your family, and sure as hell not for me." Carter stood back after completing his exam.
"You'd understand if you'd ever been enough for someone to want you, enough for a commitment, I mean." Paul sniffed and turned his head away. "You're driven to want to please him. You think I ever wanted kids? No. He did, so we had kids. Lots of kids. You think I wanted you in the house? No. Every time you're there it's like a stab wound. But he wants you there, and I definitely don't want you meeting up with him when I'm not there to keep you apart. So—you come to the house."
Carter shook his head. "That's not how it's meant to be, Paul."
"Of course it is. Don't even talk about it to me. You can't know a thing about it. You'll never know anything about it. You'll go the rest of your life incomplete, because you were too arrogant to take what he was willing to offer you. I may hate it, and I may hate you, but you're an idiot to turn him down."
Carter threw his hands into the air. "Fine. I'm an idiot. But I'm also not about to give up my freedom to play backup plan to my ex. Not happening. I told you, Paul. I like being single. I like the fact that I was able to get on a plane and head out to San Antonio without reference to anyone else at all. I like the fact that I get to sleep by myself in a nice big bed and there's no one snoring away next to me. I love the fact that no one gets to force me to let people into my home if I don't want them there."
"No one's even going to know when you die. They'll find you weeks later, eaten by your own cats." Paul's lips curled away from his teeth, and Carter had the distinct impression that the pregnant omega was going to spit at him like a llama.
"I'll stock up on kitty litter." Carter picked up his tablet. "Any discomfort? Unusual bleeding? Nausea, vomiting, yada yada? You've done this before."
"I'm fine. There's nothing wrong, for crying out loud." Paul huffed and pulled his shirt down.
"Excellent. Hopefully Tom won't tag along next time and we can go back to politely ignoring one another. Stay healthy, say hi to the little darlings for me." He grabbed his tablet and left the room.
He intended to head back toward his office. He only got about five steps in that direction before Tom's large body blocked his path. "I was hoping that we'd get to talk, Carter."
Carter clenched his fist. "I'm on my way to an appointment, we'll have to catch up some other time, Tom."
"Carter, I've been trying to reach out to you for a while. I think I'm owed an explanation." Tom reached out to put a hand on Carter's shoulder.
Carter ducked out of the way. "This isn't the time or place, Tom. This is a professional office."
"So what? I'm your alpha! I'm more important than any of these people." Tom scoffed and looked around at the nurses around him and the other patients.
Carter took a deep breath and fought to keep his voice calm. "You are not my partner. I turned you down."
Tom waved a hand. "Yeah, but that was foolish. You know that I'm your only chance for love. Look around. You can't be delivering babies all day, watching all of these people get their happily ever after, and not want that for yourself. I mean, I get that it's not bells and whistles and all that, you'd be secondary to Paul, but you'd also have a pre-made family for you to love. Who you already love. Who already love you, because Lord knows those kids mind you better than they do Paul."
Carter pinched the bridge of his nose. "For crying out loud, Paul can hear you."
Tom shrugged. "So what? It's not like he doesn't know the kids like you better. Look, he needs help with the kids. You're the answer to his prayers."
Carter staggered back. "You're actually serious. You think that you're making a convincing argument."
"It's a better deal than you're ever going to get." Tom threw his arms out to his sides. He didn't care who was watching. "I mean, hell, you were eager for a ring all those years ago. What makes you think you're too good for me now?"
"I'm too good to play back-up to the one you chose over me." Carter picked his head up and held it high. Carter hated having his dirty laundry on display like this. He hadn't chosen it, but he was going to have to live with it. "I just am. I can't do that to myself, I can't do that to Paul, and I cannot do that to those kids. I love them too much. Both Paul and I deserve better than that."
"Oh come off it." Tom reached out. "It's a perfectly sensible arrangement."
"I'm not going to judge people who enter into an arrangement like that out of actual affection or necessity. Again, that ain't me. I'm happy with my place in life, Tom. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have someplace to be."
"No!" Tom grabbed his wrist. "I don't understand why it has to be an either-or thing. I should be able to have both of you!"
"Because you made a choice, Tom. You wanted a young omega who could give you lots of children. You got that. You don't get to decide you want to claim a board-certified surgeon for a nanny, too." Carter shook his head. "I mean, I guess you can want whatever strikes your fancy, but you aren't going to get it." He broke Tom's hold on him and pushed on back to his office. No one tried to stop him.
Carter sat down at his desk and closed his eyes. Yet again, his personal life had been out on display in front of his colleagues. At least this time he hadn't been forced to bare his private bits for everyone to see.
He picked his head up and nudged his computer into wakefulness. In a perfect world, he would be able to reach out to Finn. He'd just been subjected to a humiliating ordeal by a former lover; he should be able to call upon his current partner for support.
They didn't have that kind of relationship, though. Carter hadn't heard from Finn since the CFO got arrested. He was busy bringing the new CFO on board and trying to work with McCloskey to get the hospital to show a profit. He didn't have time for Carter and his foolish insecurities.
Carter opened up his email. Most of his new messages were generic solicitations, of the "You
r subscription to our magazine will expire in eleven months and three weeks if you don't renew right this second" variety. He read through them anyway, in an effort to get himself under control, when a new one caught his eye. This one came from Dr. Sibley, and it came on the official letterhead of Lazarus Health.
Dear Carter,
It was lovely seeing you last week at the conference. I was so proud to show Lazarus Health off to you, and I was equally proud to show you off to Lazarus Health. I think you'd have endeared yourself to everyone around here no matter what when you handled that Code Pink situation, but you impressed the higher-ups with your knowledge, poise, and skill.
I hadn't been completely honest with you when I told you the circumstances of my promotion. I've taken on the duties of the Chief Medical Officer here at Mercy, but one of my responsibilities has been to find a new Chief of Obstetrics. It gives me more pleasure than I can express to offer the job to you.
