by Ruby Forrest
She sighed and started to read the first page, hoping against hope that it could help resettle her and focus her mind in some way, help prepare her for what was ahead.
The offspring of the Czar Played with a skipping ball In the May morning, in the Czar's garden, tossing it forward and backward. It fell among the flowerbeds Or fled toward the north entryway. A sunlight moon hung up In the Western sky, bare white. Like Papa's face, said Sister, Hurling the white ball forward.
While I ate a prepared potato Six thousand miles separated, In Brooklyn, in 1916, Aged two, silly. At the point when Franklin D. Roosevelt Was an Arrow Collar advertisement. O Nicholas! Too bad! Tsk-tsk! My granddad hacked in your armed force, Hid in a wine-stinking barrel, For three days in Bucharest Then left for America To end up a lord himself.
I am my's dad, You are your kids' blame. In history's pity and dread The tyke is Aeneas once more; Troy is in the nursery, the shaking horse is ablaze. Tyke work! The youngster must convey His fathers on his back. Yet, seeing that such a great amount of is past And that history has no ruth For the person, Who drinks tea, who comes down with bug, Let outrage be general: I detest a conceptual thing.
Sibling and sister skipped The bouncing, unbroken ball, The shattering sun tumbled down Like swords upon their play, Moving eastbound among the stars Toward February and October. In any case, the Maywind brushed their cheeks Like a mother watching rest, And if for a minute they battle About the ricocheting ball And sister squeezes sibling And sibling kicks her shins, Well! The core of man is known: It is a desert flora sprout.
I am my's dad, You are your kids' blame. In history's pity and dread The tyke is Aeneas once more; Troy is in the nursery, the shaking horse is ablaze. Tyke work! The youngster must convey His fathers on his back. Yet, seeing that such a great amount of is past And that history has no ruth For the person, Who drinks tea, who comes down with bug, Let outrage be general: I detest a conceptual thing.
The ground on which the ball skips Is another bobbing ball. The wheeling, spinning world Makes no will happy. Turning in its spotlight dimness, It is too enormous for their hands. A savage, purposeless Thing, Arbitrary and unspent, Made for no play, for no youngsters, But pursuing just itself. The pure are surpassed, they are not guiltless.
They are their dad's fathers, The past is unavoidable. Presently, in another October Of this sad star, I see my second year, I eat my prepared potato. It is my buttered world, But, jabbed by my unlearned hand, It tumbles starting from the highchair And I start to yell. What's more, I see the ball move under The iron door which is bolted. Sister is shouting, sibling is yelling, The ball has sidestepped their will.
Indeed, even a bobbing ball Is wild, And is under the garden divider. I am surpassed by fear Thinking of my dad's fathers, And of my own will.
The book brought her comfort, brought her peace and she smiled, jumping up to get ready. She dressed quickly, packing her bag and grabbing everything that she might need.
The words were haunting, aching and intense. She swallowed the hurt in her chest, at the thought of death and danger. She shook it off and focused instead on the familiar feeling of warmth that flooded her chest, that left her feeling safe and supported. The conflicting ideals summarized her life right now very well.
Comforted, and frightened. Confident and achingly sad. But she would get through this. She was so close, she could feel it. With Darcy on her side, however reluctantly, she would be able to find him. She thought about Darcy, words echoing in her heart again- there was something about him that screamed loyalty, that screamed honor and integrity and a man who could get the job done. She knew that, if her father was in any sort of danger, he would have hired the best man for the job.
Isabella- Fae could only hope that they found her father, so that they could get everything sorted out and straightened out. She only hoped that she was not too late. She only hoped that she could help.
Chapter 3
Darcy knocked on the door, the sound echoing through the room. Isabella- Fae thought that it sounded loud, far too loud to be a simple knock on the door. This was something more, this was a call that she needed to answer, this was a call that was so strong she did not know how to say no and she did not know if she wanted to. It was time to go out there and find her father, time to start the journey that she had come so far to start. It was time to find her father and make her way to him. It was time to bring him home.
Isabella- Fae could feel the tension gathering at the base of her spine, feel the tension building inside of her, twisting like a snake.
"I'll be there in a minute." She called, her voice echoing through the hall until it reached the front door. She turned and checked on her things, making sure that she had everything she needed to go on this trip, to be part of the search party. She had packed everything that Darcy had suggested and more, but she had made sure to pack as light as possible. Darcy had made it clear that she would be carrying all of her own things, making her own way and that he expected her to be able to keep up with him. She could understand that. He had a duty to fulfil and he wanted to do what he needed to. Isabella- Fae took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. She checked herself over, her long, sensible pants, short sleeved shirt and a coat tied around her waist. Tough boots and a hat completed the outfit and Isabella- Fae felt confident that this would see her though most of today.
Darcy said that, once they were out of the city, they would be travelling by foot. Isabella- Fae could only assume that they would be travelling through the jungle. She made a note of needing to grill Darcy more, to insist that he tell her everything that he knew about her father and what had happened, down to the last, most insignificant detail. It was important to her. It was important that they got through this in one piece, and that she knew exactly what she was looking for, exactly what she was up against and what Darcy had and hadn't considered already.
She headed over to the door, pulling it open. Darcy was standing there, looking similar to yesterday, dark clothing, dark hair neatly pushed back and an intensity to his stare that made Isabella- Fae feel a little light headed. She shivered, feeling something like desire start to crawl up her body and beneath her skin. She smiled a little, and it felt strange to do it.
"Darcy."
He nodded, "Isabella- Fae. You ready to go?"
She nodded, and adjusted the straps of her bag, "Where are we going, exactly?" She did not move from the spot, did not move to follow him. She had decided that she was not going anywhere without answers. She deserved that much from him, if nothing else.
"The East side of the jungle. It is where I tracked your father to last. I haven't been able to find him as of yet."
Isabella- Fae felt stunned, the tension draining out of her. She had expected an argument, a fight, something. She had expected to have to insist and to push and to argue her point just to get a word out of him. Yesterday, he had been completely closed up, but today, he seemed to be giving information much more freely. Isabella- Fae stared at him in surprise. As if guessing what she was thinking, or perhaps sensing it, Darcy shrugged, "You are coming with me. I cannot leave you in the dark that would be foolish."
Isabella- Fae nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable and a little silly for all the tension that she had been holding. Darcy looked at her for a long moment, "More details in the car. We really should be going." He frowned, "I do not want to lose another moment of daylight." He turned and headed down the hall. Isabella- Fae locked up her hotel room and hurried along after him. Once they were in the car, everything loaded, Isabella- Fae turned back to Darcy.
"Where are we meeting with everyone else?"
Darcy looked at her, and she could see the confusion in his eyes, "Everyone else?"
Isabella- Fae nodded, "Yes, the rest of the search party."
Darcy smiled and it was a grim smile, "There is no one else, Isabella- Fae. No one else is foolish enough to travel into the depth of the jungle, and search for someone, for anyone."
He laughed and shook his head and Isabella- Fae could sense the darkness in him, "But I made a promise. I gave my word and I will not abandon him." He shook his head, "That is not in my way, not in the way that I believe things to be."
Isabella- Fae felt something in her stomach, something intense and shuddering shift through her. He was standing up for her family in a way no one else ever had and it moved her. She swallowed and felt a second emotion join her, shudder through her body. If it was so dangerous no one else would do it, then what the hell was she getting herself into by being a part of this? What the hell was she signing up for if no one else was willing to do it? Isabella- Fae was not sure about the next step, but she was willing to press forward, regardless, because her father meant the world to her, and it was not something that she could deny.
She could not deny the sensation that was moving through her at Darcy's words, at the devotion that he seemed to have for her father, for his employer. She did not know why he was so loyal, why he was so determined to help her father when she could not see much reason for it. Okay, so he wouldn't be employee of the year, but this was his life that he was risking. He was risking everything and Isabella- Fae could not see a good enough reason why. She shivered and shook her head. He was a good man and she needed to be grateful for that, for the fact that he was here at all, when he could be anywhere else, if he wanted to be.
Isabella- Fae took a deep breath and nodded, "Well, I'm here. So, why was my father here in the first place? What was he looking for? What was he doing?" She looked at him intently, "You said that you would give me answers in the car, that you would let me know what was going on before all of this happened. So?"
Darcy sighed and shook his head, "You are not going to stop, are you?"
"No, not until I get answers." Isabella- Fae answered, feeling the tension hit her hard. She was not one for confrontation, but she knew that she needed to presume this, to insist that she got all of the answers that she was looking for, so that she could actually be of help, instead of just being a burden. That was not why she had travelled this far.
Darcy sighed again and nodded, "I can see that." He seemed to consider what she was saying, "Okay. Your father was trying to help end a budding civil war." The words rung out in the car, quiet as a whisper and packing all the punch of a violent shout. Isabella- Fae felt like she had been sucker punched, like she was reeling. She shook her head and stared at Darcy with wide and disbelieving eyes. Stopping a civil war? Her father was a good man, but why was he involved in the first place?
"What?" That was the only word that stumbled out and she shook her head again, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"A civil war." Darcy frowned, darkness enveloping his features, "Your father was determined to help stop it from starting. He blamed himself, and the rest of the American businesses that have been flooding this economy in these past few years." Darcy gripped the steering wheel tighter, and Isabella- Fae could see his stress and tension rolling off him in waves, tight and potent.
"Look, the economy was in bad shape already. When businesses from the US started flooding the country, it got harder and harder for business here to be sustainable and even harder to keep the economy afloat in any real, meaningful way." Darcy sighed and Isabella- Fae could see real hurt on his face, a real ache that was not easing, as he spoke.
"Certain groups have been frustrated about that, frustrated about what that might mean for the future of the country. One in particular has been advocating violent action." Darcy shook his head, "Honestly, when your father heard about it, all he wanted to do was help diffuse the situation."
He swallowed and Isabella- Fae could see the worry in his eyes, "He insisted on seeing what he could do to stop the conflict turning into a war that could hurt many people. Of course, it was not his fault, or the fault of his business. It was the combination of a bad economy and too many US businesses, but he saw himself as part of the problem and felt like it was his duty to be part of the solution.
Isabella- Fae swallowed, feeling the ache in her chest build to a painful crescendo. That sounded like something her father would do, like something that he would think. Even if it was in no way his fault or problem, he was the type of man who would blame himself, take responsibility for his part and try and fix it. That was just the type of man that he was. It was one of the reasons for his success. It was part of the reason that he had gotten this far in his life and why everyone seemed to be so loyal to him.
Still, Isabella- Fae felt the fear inside of her grow, the ache inside of her build to a keen edge, "So they...took him?" Her voice came out as nothing more than a whisper.
Darcy nodded, "I don't know exactly why, and I don't know how, but from all my sources, it seems like yes, they have him. They are known to hide out in the jungle, and that's exactly where we will be heading. I haven't found them yet, but I am not giving up yet."
His words made sense, his actions make even more sense, and Isabella- Fae felt herself feeling more and more grateful for what he was doing, for how he was acting and what he was doing to help her and her father, no matter the social, physical and political risk. He was risking a lot to help and it meant the world to Isabella- Fae.
"Thank you." The words were out before she could pull them back, but she did not regret them, did not want to take them back, "Thank you for everything, for helping."
Darcy glanced at her and, for the first time, there was something like warmth in his eyes, something burning in the distance, flickering and bright, "Of course."
The rest of the ride passed in silence, with Isabella- Fae trying to wrap her head around everything that she had just heard, learnt about and experienced, everything that she had to process and try to deal with. It was a lot to take in, but Isabella- Fae was glad that she knew what she was up against. She felt like she could help her father more now, help him in ways that were meaningful, that actually made a difference of some kind.
She did not regret this at all.
Chapter 4
Isabella- Fae felt the tension descend on her as they approached the edge of the jungle, where it met the carpark. Darcy parked and Isabella- Fae felt a shiver at the vast difference, how strange it looked with the stark difference. It made everything feel so much more real, and so much more surreal all at the same time. Darcy got out of the car and Isabella- Fae followed quickly, grabbing her things.
"I haven't checked through this area yet. We'll start by moving west and then take it from there." He looked towards Isabella- Fae with focus in his eyes, and nodded quietly, "Stay by my side. Don't wander off. We are not going to use any registered paths, because we are looking for people who don't want to be found. There is no point in going where everyone goes- that will be too damn easy."
Isabella- Fae nodded in agreement, "Got it."
As they entered the jungle, Isabella- Fae was hit again with the heat that seemed to descend over them, to flood everyone around and crush them with a huge weight. The humidity also seemed to ramp up a notch, leaving her feeling a little breathless already. None of this seemed to be affecting Darcy. Isabella- Fae wondered if he had grown up here, or if he was from the US. His accent was difficult to place, as were his mannerisms. She did not know where he was from, but it did not matter. All that mattered was the fact that he seemed to be great at what he did and seemed to know the area that he was moving in, and for that, Isabella- Fae was endlessly grateful. She did not know how she would have gone about searching for her father without him. Heading off into the jungle alone, with no path, no map and no plan did not seem to be the best idea that she could have had, did not seem to be the best idea that she could have decided to act upon. Isabella- Fae swallowed, feeling an ache in her chest.
She was lucky, very lucky, to have found Darcy and that he agreed to help her. She had been forceful and she was lucky that he had decided to help, instead of just casting her aside, with no hope of finding her father at all.
On that note, she was
lucky that he was willing to search for her father at all, and her father was fortunate to have an employee like him, who was prepared to help. As she followed him through the jungle, a thought popped into her mind, "Darcy, how did my father find you anyway?"
Darcy glanced back and shrugged, "Security company. Personal bodyguards and that kind of thing."
Isabella- Fae nodded and fell silent. The rest of the day passed in silence, with both of them walking through the jungle as fast as possible. A few times, they stopped for water, or to eat, but it was always in silence. Isabella- Fae was too exhausted to speak, to say much at all. She was tired, and she was not really in the mood to waste her energy. Darcy was the silent type anyway, so it worked out just fine.
The walk was exhausting and Isabella- Fae wondered if they were making headway at all. It occurred to her, that Darcy had been looking for weeks, with no luck, and she had to be prepared for the same to happen to her. Still, the idea of not finding for father for several more weeks was one that terrified her. If he was in danger, they had to save him as fast as possible, get to him as soon as they possibly could.
The thought made her sick. Yet, as the night started to drop, all around them, plunging them deeper and deeper into the darkness, Isabella- Fae realized that it probably would take a lot longer than she had hoped, a lot longer to find her father and make sure that he was safe. She shuddered at the idea, but she did not know if she would get much of a choice in the matter.
Eventually, Darcy turned around, "This is a good spot to camp for the night. We'd better set up before it gets too dark." Isabella- Fae sighed, reluctant, but she knew that there was little point in continuing onwards, only to get into further trouble, potentially with wild animals. She hadn't seen many during the day, but she had a feeling that there were many nocturnal ones that she was not thinking about. She swallowed and nodded, feeling the defeat pool in her stomach. She was supposed to be out here, looking for her father, but instead, she was here walking around blindly and setting up camp. It was the only way, but it did not make it any easier for her to deal with, or a better pill for her to swallow.
