by Ruby Forrest
It was Jack- Dean. Jack- Dean’s arms were around her, Jack- Dean was holding her tight and keeping her safe against the fears that were running rampant in her head. Jack- Dean was the one keeping her safe, touching her skin, helping her breathe.
A man who she had all but written off for not giving a damn. A man who she thought couldn’t care less about people, or her, or anyone else. He was here when she needed someone the most. Suddenly, in the haze of sleep, in the grips of the quiet of the night and the intensity of the emotions in her body, Maria reached out and grabbed him too. She held him tight, her fingertips digging into his skin.
Then she leaned forward and her lips were pressing against his. All she could think about was the way he looked in the firelight, the light of the embers dancing across his skin, highlighting his features. All she could think about was the taste of his lips on hers, the sensation of him kissing her, kissing her back with everything that he had. She felt his hands tighten around her waist and suddenly, he was kissing her passionately, with unbridled ferocity. Maria was grabbing at his clothes, pulling his shirt over his head and pulling him tight against her.
He felt incredible. He tasted like the forest, smelt like it too, felt like a dream in her arms. He held her close, pushing her back against the softness of the sheets. His lips found her neck, sucking and kissing at the soft and sensitive curve of her throat, trailing kisses down and leaving Maria breathless. She ran her hands over his skin, feeling the curves of his muscles, chiseled and carved into his skin. She slid her hands up and down his body, feeling every speck of tension, every hair, and every scar that was cut into his skin.
She felt them all and she loved it. She loved the way the muscles in his shoulders bunched when he moved, loved the feeling of his body against her skin, his lips against hers. She didn’t say a word and she didn’t need to. Everything passing between them was so physical, so intense, so without words.
She moved and he pulled her shirt off easily and threw it aside. Then his hands were on her skin, caressing her, feeling the curve of her stomach and breasts, which he cupped gently in his broad, warm hands. He slid his fingers across the sensitive skin, brushing her nipples with his thumbs and almost making her cry out with pleasure.
It had been so long since she’d been with a man, but it was more than that. There was something electrical passing between them, something that was more than anything she had ever felt before. There was something intense crackling in the air, filling it with light, shuddering through them both and leaving them both breathless and shuddering with need and desire. She could feel the lust and want and desire coursing through her like a wave.
Something about this man was so irresistible, and, in the dark of night, there was little to tell her to stop, little to pull her away from the beauty and desire and want that was rising inside of the both of them. It was perfect. It was breath taking and perfect and she wanted and needed it more than she could possibly say.
Jack- Dean’s kisses were moving lower, sliding down her body. She moaned softly, as his kisses slid towards the sensitive skin of her breasts, where he sucked and licked and set her body on fire. The fireworks the exploded over her skin were perfect, were breathtaking, were everything that she needed and wanted.
Maria moaned as he slid his hands towards her pants, pulling at them and sliding them down her skin. She obliged, feeling the fabric fall away and leaving her dressed in nothing. Jack- Dean followed suit quickly and, somehow, things immediately felt better between them, felt more honest and open and raw. She could feel him closer, feel the sensation of his skin against hers, feel the rise and fall of his breathing, feel his hands on hers, all the more.
It was like they were built to be close like this, like the distance of the light and clothes and words were just pulling them apart, like this was exactly where they were supposed to be. For a moment, Maria felt no guilt, no worries, and no problems pressing down on her. For a moment, there was only this, and it was perfect.
She kisses his skin, running her tongue over it and shivering with lustful desires that rose up inside her unbidden and overwhelmingly wonderful. He felt so incredible. He tasted like the forest, smelt like it too, felt like a dream in her arms. He held her close, pushing her back against the softness of the sheets. His lips found her neck, sucking and kissing at the soft and sensitive curve of her throat, trailing kisses down and leaving Maria breathless. She ran her hands over his skin, feeling the curves of his muscles, chiseled and carved into his skin. She slid her hands up and down his body, feeling every speck of tension, every hair, and every scar that was cut into his skin.
When he pressed against her, Maria didn’t need to think, didn’t need to do anything but part her legs. She felt his hand press between, against the burning heat of her desire. Then his fingers were pressing at her entrance and Maria thought that she might scream with pleasure. It felt so good, so overwhelmingly good. The nightmare was long forgotten, long pulled away from her mind. Now, there was only the feeling of Jack- Dean’s fingertips sliding slowly within her, bringing her mind-blowing pleasure twisting around her body and leaving her gasping and moaning with desire.
She shuddered, moaning, feeling Jack- Dean’s touch blind her to anything else. He felt so good. Jack- Dean. A man she had only just met. Jack- Dean, a man who she didn’t know much about and yet, felt so overwhelmingly connected to. Jack- Dean, a man who she was losing herself to more and more and she just didn’t give a damn about it.
She moaned, writhing and arching her body into his touch, into every moment of pleasure that was flooding her mind and body. It was everything she needed and wanted. He felt incredible. He tasted like the forest, smelt like it too, felt like a dream in her arms. He held her close, pushing her back against the softness of the sheets. His lips found her neck, sucking and kissing at the soft and sensitive curve of her throat, trailing kisses down and leaving Maria breathless. She ran her hands over his skin, feeling the curves of his muscles, chiseled and carved into his skin. She slid her hands up and down his body, feeling every speck of tension, every hair, and every scar that was cut into his skin.
She trembled and shuddered and groaned, feeling the pleasure rise inside of her, feeling it peak and overwhelm her in the best ways.
“Jack- Dean!” She gasped his name, breathless and shaky, arching into him. Then he pulled away, leaving her wanting and desperate for more. She shuddered, trembling with desire as he shifted, so that his weight pressed against her, that she felt him pressing between her legs. Maria lifted her legs, wrapping them around him, arching and moaning back. She whimpered softly, “Yes, yes…more!”
She felt him push inside her slowly, felt the size of him, his girth slide within her, leave her panting for breath, shaking with barely restrained lusts and desires, “Yes, yes….!”
She moaned, Jack- Dean feeling so damn good against her. He slid further within and she cried out. The wind howled outside, the crackle of the fire and the sound of his strained breathing filling the cabin. She whimpered softly, bucking her hips against him, thrilling at the feeling of him against her, inside her. She moaned and grabbed at him, fingers digging into his skin, sensation of pleasure filling her up. Jack- Dean seemed to be feeling the same, his breathing catching in quick little gasps of desire and need, of burning lust the flooded both of their systems and set their bodies on fire.
She needed him. She wanted him. This was perfect, and as her felt her climax overtake her body and shudder through her mind, Maria knew that she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
Chapter 5
I know not whether Laws be correct, Or whether Laws not be right; All that we know who lie in gaol. Is that the divider is solid; And that every day resembles a year, A year whose days are long. Yet, this I know, that each Law That men have made for Man,Since first Man took his sibling's life, And the miserable world started, But straws the wheat and recoveries the refuse With a most malice fan. This too I know—and savvy it were
If each could know the same—That each jail that men assemble Is worked with blocks of disgrace, And bound with bars or Christ should perceive How men their siblings injure.
With bars they obscure the benevolent moon, And visually impaired the goodly sun: And they do well to shroud their Hell, For in it things are done That Son of God nor child of Man Ever should view! The most contemptible deeds like toxic substance weeds Bloom well in jail air: It is just what is great in Man That squanders and shrinks there: Pale Anguish keeps the overwhelming door, And the Warder is Despair For they starve the little panicked tyke Till it sobs both night and day: And they scourge the frail, and lash the trick, And scoff the old and dark, And some become frantic, and all develop awful, and none a word may state.
Also, with tears of blood he washed down the hand, The hand that held the steel: For no one but blood can wipe out blood, And no one but tears can mend: And the red stain that was of Cain Became Christ's snow-white seal. In Reading gaol by Reading town There is a pit of disgrace, And in it lies a pathetic man Eaten by teeth of fire, In consuming winding-sheet he lies, And his grave has no name.
What's more, there, till Christ call forward the dead, peacefully let him lie: No compelling reason to squander the stupid tear, Or hurl the breezy moan: The man had slaughtered the thing he adored, And so he needed to bite the dust. And all men murder the thing they cherish, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a severe look, Some with a complimenting word, The defeatist does it with a kiss, The overcome man with a sword!
Each tight cell in which we abide Is foul and dim latrine,And the offensive breath of living Death Chokes up each ground screen, And all, however Lust, is swung to clean In Humanity's machine. The saline water that we drink Creeps with a detestable sludge, And the unpleasant bread they say something scales Is brimming with chalk and lime, And Sleep won't rests, yet strolls Wild-peered toward and cries to Time.
In any case, however lean Hunger and green Thirst Like asp with viper battle, We have little care of jail passage, For what chills and kills through and through Is that each stone one lifts by day Becomes one's heart by night. With midnight dependably in one's heart, And sundown in one's cell, We turn the wrench, or tear the rope, Each in his different Hell, And the hush is more dreadful far Than the sound of a baldfaced chime.
Also, with tears of blood he washed down the hand, The hand that held the steel: For no one but blood can wipe out blood, And no one but tears can mend: And the red stain that was of Cain Became Christ's snow-white seal. In Reading gaol by Reading town There is a pit of disgrace, And in it lies a pathetic man Eaten by teeth of fire, In consuming winding-sheet he lies, And his grave has no name.
What's more, there, till Christ call forward the dead, peacefully let him lie: No compelling reason to squander the stupid tear, Or hurl the breezy moan: The man had slaughtered the thing he adored, And so he needed to bite the dust. And all men murder the thing they cherish, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a severe look, Some with a complimenting word, The defeatist does it with a kiss, The overcome man with a sword!
What's more, never a human voice draws close To talk a delicate word: And the eye that watches through the entryway Is barbarous and hard: And by all overlooked, we decay and spoil, With soul and body defaced. Also, accordingly we rust Life's iron chain Degraded and alone: And a few men revile, and a few men sob, And a few men make no groan: But God's unceasing Laws are thoughtful And break the cold demeanor.
***
Maria put the book down, looking up as Alex stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed again and ready to go. Maria smiled and pushed herself to her feet, feeling more confident, more ready to go.
“So, when do we go?”
“What do you mean?” He frowned and shook his head in confusion.
“Yes, I need to start my research.”
Jack- Dean was shaking his head, staring at her with what looked like quiet disbelief, like he did not quite believe what he was hearing. He wasn't the only one struggling to believe what he was hearing. Maria felt like ice had been shot through her system
"Maria, you have to stop this." His voice was so calm, so rational, so very cold, "You can’t go out there like this."
"And why not?" Her voice was strained, "That's what I came here to do. That's why I came here in the first place, Jack- Dean! You know that, so why are you pushing for me to stay here instead?"
Her voice was trembling and she stared him head on. She wanted to know his side. She wanted to know why he was doing this, why he was pushing so hard for her to stay inside, to stay away from all the action, instead of doing her damn job.
"Because it's not your place to decide this!" His voice cracked a little and she could hear the tension burning through him, see it in his shoulders. He shook his head, "Maria, it is not your job to sort this out, to fix it."
"Then whose place is it? Is it yours? Are you the only one allowed to try and help the animals here? Are you the only one who is supposed to sort it all out, fix it all? It's to your place to decide that either! You might be the ranger, but that doesn't make you god, Jack- Dean. You have every right to help, but so do I!" She could hear her voice rising, hear the straining tensions in it start to crack and break free.
"It's the bear's job to sort it out, Maria.' His voice was measured, but his words didn’t make sense, "I know you don't understand it, but this is just part of the natural order and things will resolve soon enough."
"Natural order? None of this had anything to do with the natural order and that's the problem! The natural order is all out of whack and I am trying to figure out why so that I can help put it back in order and help save lives. Don't you care about the bears?"
"Maria, I di care. I care more than you seem to realize. It means a lot to me to fix this-"
Maria cut him off, her body humming with tension, aching with burning frustration, "You don't care!" She laughed and started to pace, her face grim, "You want the animals to fix problems that we cause! You don't want to escort me out to do the job I am damn well here to do because you don't think it's my place? What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you dare tell me that you care because clearly, clearly, you don't care? If you cared, you wouldn't keep pushing people out of the park. If you cared, you wouldn't keep stopping me from doing my work. You'd be helping. You'd be here to help make a difference, like I am trying to do. But instead, you're just pushing everyone away and stopping people who actually want to help, from doing it."
She sniffed, feeling anger burn like a wildfire inside of her, "So don't lie to me and tell me that you care!"
"Well, what do you want me to say?!" Jack- Dean's voice was gaining strength too, starting to bristle and to burn to anger, with frustration, which was starting to cause his calm words to fray at the edges. Maria relished it relished the coming undone of all his perfect ideals and lies. He did not care and it was about time that someone called him out on it.
"What do you want me to say, that I don't care? That's a lie, Maria. Just because I care about your safety and don't want to mess things up more in this forest, does not mean that I can't care. You could get killed out there and I will not let that happen."
"Then escort me like you are supposed to! It's your job and I thought you would be good at it! You're supposed to know this forest well enough to help me not die out in the field. You're supposed to be here to help instead of just leaving me to fend for myself."
Maria shook her head, feeling betrayal rise inside of her. She had thought that he cared, if not about people, then at least about the animals. She had thought that maybe, just maybe, he cared a little about her, after last night. But here he was, making excuses and treating her, an the whole forest, like trash, like it did not matter at all to him, like he knew all there was to know.
She thought of the dream that had plagued her, the betrayal that she had felt, the hands pinning her to the wall and the whispered words, to trust him, trust him. She had trusted him, she had trusted
Jack- Dean and all that he had done was betray her. The same aching hurt rose up in her chest, blinding her and stealing her breath.
"Forget it. Forget all of it. I'll go on my own." She spun around, grabbing her things, "I don't need your damn help, Jack- Dean and I don't want it! I'll do it with or without you and I will save this forest and the bears in it."
"Maria, wait!" His voice was firm, but she did not care. He did not scare her and she wasn't in the mood to listen. Not to him, not anymore. He did not give a damn, and she wasn't about to waste time on an asshole like him. She was here to do her job and she would do it, no matter what and no matter who stood in her way.
***
Maria trembled, feeling the stress of it all twist through her body like a fever, burning in her, and burning everything in its path down as she mode. She wanted to finally get there, finally get to the end of the journey, the journey where Jack- Dean wasn’t looking to hurt anyone, where he was with her, like she thought he was from the beginning, thought that he was when they had made love in the dark.
His words hurt like a betrayal, hurt like he had turned on her, instead of in the forest. She had believed in him, believed that he was going to help her, help the animals, help those in the forest, like the ranger that he was, like the devoted ranger that everyone thought he was, believed he was.
Her father had trusted him, she had trusted him, and everyone at the park trusted him. Everyone seemed to have so much faith in him, believe so much in him, and believe in what he could do and what he would do. So why had he turned his back on everyone like this? Why had he turned on her when she needed him most, when the animals in this forest needed him most, when he most needed to man up and make a difference?
