“No, I do not think that.”
“And because they’re half black you think they don’t need as much love and attention?”
“I love those children more than life itself,” he said, jumping to his feet. Yelling at him for putting them in harm’s way was one thing, claiming he didn’t love his children was another. He wouldn’t stand for that.
“I see the dirty looks I get when I’m with them. It doesn’t bother me one bit. I’ve been called many names I will not repeat in front of you, and that doesn’t bother me one bit. I will stand up for my children in front of any man.”
“Humph.” She shook her head. “Ever consider when they are grown, they will have to face the world alone without you? And because of you they don’t belong anywhere. They have one foot in the colored world and one foot in the white world.”
“I know it will be difficult for them,” he said in an even tone, hoping she’d lower her voice. He did not want his children to hear them arguing. They might get the wrong idea. “At least my ‘marriage’ to their mother was one of love. They know they were born out of love.
“They are not the only mulatto children, April. Many children don’t even know their fathers and their mothers…” He did not finish what he was going to say. She knew about how rampant rape was on the plantations and even outside of the plantations. It was easy to take advantage of a colored woman.
“Yes, that’s true,” she agreed. “I just can’t believe you sent them to an orphanage.”
Switching back to that topic meant he had won the parenting part of her argument. “I sent them to an orphanage because I couldn’t work and take care of them at the same time. I didn’t have anyone who could step in and help me raise the children until I was back on my feet. I didn’t feel like I had any other options.”
“What about your brother?”
Matt stared at his shoes. “My brother would never hurt the children, but he did not feel it his responsibly to help take care of them. They are my responsibility.”
“Oh.”
Mr. Seever approached April slowly, wondering if she was going to avoid him. She didn’t. He reached out and gently wrapped his hands around both of her arms, keeping space between them.
“Ever since I met you I’ve felt like you were trying to find fault with me.”
She didn’t respond, her lips curled in.
“I know I’m not perfect. No man is, but why are you always thinking the worst?”
“I don’t know,” she said in a shaky voice.
That was a damn lie, but he did not call her on it. She hadn’t told him a single thing about her past other than a bit about her previous jobs. Not one word about her personal life. Something had caused her to be this suspicious. The tension between them was too strong to ignore. Even holding her at a distance stirred feelings inside him.
“Stop trying to push me away, April. It isn’t going to work. I live here. You live here. It is only natural…” He pulled her toward him until her chest was pressed against his. “…we have feelings for each other.”
Without giving her time to react he pressed his lips against hers. Fire blazed where they touched. Blood rushed to his cock and he feared she’d feel it pressed against her.
*
April’s first instinct to scream quickly faded. The heat in Mr. Seever’s lips traveled through her body and settled between her legs. He deepened the kiss and she moaned. She’d been kissed before, but never like this.
His hands moved from around her arms to roaming her back, running up and down. His lips caressed the sensitive skin on her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access. It felt so good.
“April,” he said in a husky voice. “I’ve wanted you since I first saw you on the steamboat.”
Her insides squeezed together and her pulse raced out of control. She didn’t know what to say so she was happy when his mouth locked with hers again. Words were not necessary. They showed each other what they were feeling.
“Do you want me, April?” Mr. Seever asked in a deep voice.
Her mound moistened and she squeezed her thighs together. Yes! But she couldn’t say that, she wasn’t ready to give herself to him. He probably knew the power he wielded over her body. He just wanted to use her.
“No,” she said in as firm a voice she could muster.
Instantly he dropped his hands and gave her lots of space, a mixture of shock and sadness engrained on his face.
“You don’t even know me, sir.”
“I know enough. I see how good you are with the children, and my feelings toward you are not going to change.”
If he found out why I was fired he might change his mind. Would he think I was a bad influence on his children?
“You could tell me about yourself.”
“Is that an order?”
“An order?” His eyebrows furrowed. “No, I was just saying if you wanted to share about yourself, help me to get to know you better—”
“No, sir. That won’t change how I feel.”
“Oh.” A long pause. The silence ate away at her nerves. “I’m sorry, April. I…” He looked at a loss for words, and a deep red stained his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I didn’t mean to force myself on you.” He swallowed and glanced at the wall, clearly uncomfortable. “I would never…You have nothing to worry about. It will never happen again.”
A lump sprouted in April’s throat and she felt overcome with emotion. Despite his lust, she believed him. And she wished she could tell him the truth. It hurt to distance herself from him, from those strong arms encircling her.
“I’m not staying, remember?” she said, her voice choked. “As soon as Allison has had the baby and is strong enough to take care of Seth and Hannah I will be leaving.”
“Why do you have to go? Do you not like it here?”
I like it here too much. “The children have been with Allison longer. She is rightly the one who should be your nanny.”
“She was never my nanny. You’re the first and I hope the only one.”
His words fanned the anger inside her. “I suppose she agreed to watch the children out of the goodness of her heart, then?” Sarcasm dripped from her words.
“Actually, yes.”
April shook her head. “I don’t believe it. From what Mrs. Brown said she’s been taking care of them for months. At the least you were taking advantage of her generosity.”
He drew a deep breath. “I suppose. I knew she agreed partly out of guilt.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “I’d talked my brother into letting them stay above the warehouse rent free.”
She grunted. “I knew it. You had something to hold over them.”
“It wasn’t like that, April. You can ask her, ask George. I never pressed them to take my children.”
She did not respond. She didn’t believe a word coming out of his mouth.
“I guess whether you believe me or not really doesn’t matter,” he said, meeting her chilly stare. “I did have a reason to be away.”
“And what was that? A job? You have a cozy set up with your bother here in town.”
“I wasn’t working on the Mississippi just for a job. It was therapy, Caroline’s death hit me hard.” Voice cracking, he took a moment to regain control of his feelings. “Recently I was looking for a wife.”
Her heartbeat sped out of control and she instantly felt dizzy. A wife?
The way he looked at her left no doubt who he had in mind. No, no, no. Her mind blared the warning, but she wanted to say yes.
“I know you keep saying you’re only staying for a few months, but I keep hoping you will change your mind.” He paused and swallowed. “I don’t want you to go.”
April fled to her room. She couldn’t handle the war within herself any longer. She threw herself on the pallet and cried into her pillow. This shouldn’t be happening. She shouldn’t have these feelings for a white man. He was right. She had been looking for fault in him, trying to push him away.
Mr.
Seever wasn’t the mean, dishonest man she’d made him out to be. He was very trusting and caring and handsome. It just wasn’t fair! Why couldn’t he trade places with his brother? She would have no problem keeping her hands off Boyd. The man was as cold as a block of ice.
Footsteps on the loft ladder momentarily stopped her tears. “Go away,” she said.
“April, are you all right?” Mr. Seever asked in a concerned tone.
Damn him. Each day she spent with him would make it more difficult to move on once Allison wanted her job back. She sat and watched the ladder expecting him to come up. He didn’t.
She dried the last of her tears on her apron. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“You didn’t.” That was a lie. “I mean it wasn’t your fault.”
She realized she’d been giving him signals that she was interested. That wasn’t her intention, but he couldn’t be blamed for responding to them.
It was impossible for him to block his emotions. All he could do was control his actions and she better get a handle on herself before things went too far. She wanted to stay, she wanted to be with him and the children, but she wasn’t ready to take the risk.
Chapter 11
Matt said goodbye to his children and walked to the door, dreading his third day at the warehouse. It would wear on him eventually. Right now the job felt as uncomfortable as a new pair of shoes. How long would it take to break in?
April handed him his hat, standing so close his pulse stuttered. Her scent wafted toward him, riding the waves of heat. Briefly he imagined she was Caroline. He always kissed Caroline goodbye before heading off to work. He leaned close to her, his lips nearing her mouth before logic kicked in. She was not Caroline.
No. Don’t kiss the help.
Her eyes held a mixture of fear and anticipation. The heady combination sent adrenaline rushing through him. Damn it. He took the hat from her hands and abruptly took a step back. “Thank you.”
“Have I done something wrong, sir?”
“No. Not you.” He swung open the door and pounded the steps loudly as he left. Maybe working at the warehouse would be a good thing after all. If he didn’t get away from her when he did his lust might beat out his polite nature.
What would it be like to feel her nestled up against him at night?
Teeth clenched, he silently willing his thickening member to settle down. Thoughts like that would get him in trouble. No matter what his body demanded he couldn’t forget April was off limits. She’d made it absolutely clear she wasn’t interested in his affection. On top of that, she didn’t trust him. She kept waiting for him to make a wrong move.
It was time to face the fact she was only there to take care of the children temporarily, not to become his new wife.
* * * *
He kept his distance from April for the next two weeks. It pained him to remain business-like, but if that was what she wanted, he’d comply. April continued to work miracles with the house, and had even cleared all the weeds from the flower boxes. He dug up some wildflowers growing along the river and planted them much to April’s surprise. The house looked homier with flowers blooming.
April had gotten into a routine with the children and with her daily and weekly chores. She acted like she enjoyed every minute of her job, smiling brightly.
When he tried to meet her gaze she turned away or her smile shrunk, betraying her true feelings. Damn. Why did he have to spoil the atmosphere in his home? The tension between them grew so thick it nearly suffocated him with each breath.
He felt awful. She was clearly uncomfortable with him now and at night he couldn’t help but imagine being with her again. How could he salvage the situation?
Still sitting at the cleared table, he drank a second up of coffee.
April brought out Seth and Hannah’s primers. “Time for school,” she said. She looked over at him and then up at the clock on the wall. “Shouldn’t you be going, sir?”
Matt swirled the coffee in his cup. “Yes, in a few minutes.” He wanted to stay with April longer, see his children do their schoolwork. He missed so much of their day stuck at one of the two warehouses. Managing the day-to-day operations was as boring as watching paint dry. It nearly made him run screaming to the Queen Bee begging for his job back.
He couldn’t do that. He’d promised the children he was done going away. He smiled at April. She didn’t react.
“Papa, look!” Hannah picked up the piece of chalk and wrote her name in big letters across the slate.
He walked around the table to give her a hug. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie.”
Hannah grinned from ear-to-ear. “Miss April said I’m a fast learner.”
“Yes, you are.” Matt walked over to his son and peered over his shoulder. “What are you working on, son?”
“Writing sentences,” he said. “How do you spell fence, Papa?”
“F-E-N-C-E.”
Seth finished his sentence the dog sat by the fence.
“That’s right,” Matt said, clapping his son on the shoulder. “I better get to work before your uncle comes looking for me.”
He forced a laugh even though the joke wasn’t funny. Boyd had been in a sour mood lately, and he had no idea why. His brother had not felt the need to confide in him.
Matt had looked over the books. Business was still good. They should be able to make the loan payment easily. He left the house on a brisk pace trying to make up time. He made it to their main warehouse and groaned when he saw his brother outside looking for him. The man knew how to make his life miserable.
“You’re late.”
“I know. April needed my help with something.”
Boyd grunted.
“No, not that!” He looked at the men working. One face was missing. “Where is George?”
“With his wife. Allison’s in labor.”
Matt’s mouth popped open. “It isn’t time yet.”
“I know. She’s about two weeks early. Mrs. Brown is with her now.”
“That’s good.”
“We need to talk.” Boyd motioned with his head for Matt to follow him. His brother led him into Matt’s poor excuse of an office and shut the door.
“We have a little problem.”
“I’ve noticed something has been bothering you lately.” You were acting like you had a stick up your ass.
“You remember those rifles we shipped to the army?”
Matt nodded.
“The commander at the fort sent me a telegram and informed me they were missing a crate of rifles. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I chalked it up to a clerical error. Except other things have gone missing from both our warehouses…”
“What kind of things?” They didn’t deal in anything expensive and a whole wagonload of goods would be hard to hide.
“Mostly bullets and gunpowder,” Boyd said. “First rifles and now bullets and gunpowder.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what is going on but I don’t like it.”
“I hope you don’t think I had anything to do with it.”
“No, of course not.”
Whew. My brother’s opinion of me isn’t quite at rock bottom.
Boyd’s fingers slowly folded into a fist. “I think it’s an inside job. Not too many people knew we were transporting rifles for the army. Taking them from the warehouse at night was much easier than a hold up of the supply wagon on the road.”
“Yes, I imagine so. But who would steal from us? And why?”
Boyd shrugged. “The usual motive is money. Rifles, bullets, and gunpowder would all be easy to sell.”
“So who knew about the rifles?”
“Besides you and me and the steamboat clerk? George. He was the one who drove the wagon here.”
“George wouldn’t steal anything from us! Besides, anyone who knew how to read could see the crates were property of the army. It said so right on the side.”
“Who would even bother to look
besides the men who work for us?” Boyd countered. “I’ve been mulling this over a long time. I’m not going to do anything about it yet, but we need to keep a sharp eye out for any suspicious activity.”
“All right. Will do.”
“I’m going to have the next shipment of firearms delivered to the new warehouse although I doubt it makes a difference since the workers take turns at both of them.”
“I have a hard time believing any of our workers would steal.” Matt gritted his teeth when Boyd did not second his sentiment.
“Even so I’m going to talk to George in a couple days.”
Matt’s eyes narrowed. He did not want his brother badgering George. “Talk or accuse?”
“Talk. Just talk,” Boyd promised.
“Make sure you keep it civil. I know you, Boyd. Sometimes you get carried away.”
“Civil, I promise,” he said, holding up his right hand. “I’ll even talk to him with Allison present if that will make you feel any better.”
“It would. Thank you.” He almost asked to be present as well, but that would make Boyd angrier. He didn’t need to push him when he was already worked up.
Matt opened the door to his office and headed out. Boyd might not have been done with their conversation, but he had heard enough for now and needed some fresh air.
Mrs. Brown headed down the steps, grinning. “It is a girl,” she announced.
The men stopped working and cheered. Matt joined in. He wished the new parents nothing but happiness.
A healthy baby girl was wonderful for Allison and George. Except it reminded him time was running out to convince April to stay.
He’d try again tonight. He could continue to keep his distance from the ebony beauty sleeping in the room above his. She didn’t have to worry about any more advances from him.
He’d suffer for the children. Could she put Seth and Hannah’s needs first, as well? He continued to kick himself for being so foolish. Still uncomfortable around him he couldn’t blame her if she chose to leave.
Every night he prayed each night she wouldn’t. She couldn’t move on to a different family, a different city. It would break Seth and Hannah’s hearts. And it would break his heart, too.
Midnight Kiss (Moonlight Romance) Page 8
