She swallowed, leaning back against the counter. “Wassail.”
His mouth ticked up in a smile. “I should have known.”
“Listen,” she said, lowering her voice. He had a seriousness about his face that was setting her further on edge. “I can take everything down in like ten minutes, box it up, and get it out of here. You can disappear and come back in and everything will be like it was.” She screwed her face up in apology. “Except the smell.”
His face broke into a smile, and he pulled his messenger bag from his shoulder, setting it down on the floor against the wall. Ryan kept his gaze on her while he walked around the island into the kitchen and stopped just before her. “I love it.”
Her heart galloped in her chest, pounding in her ears. “You do?”
He nodded. “What made you do it?”
“I wanted to thank you for taking me to that photoshoot, for pushing me to perform at the event when I was being stubborn and didn’t want to accept anything from you. For asking your friend from Remmy Records to come listen to me. You don’t know me, but you’ve done nothing except help me try to break into the music world since we’ve met, which I’ve been diligently trying to do for four years without making any progress.”
“You’ve probably honed your performance skills singing at all those bars. So at least that time wasn’t useless.”
“That’s a good point.” She smiled at him, his clear hazel eyes trained steadily on her. “You really don’t hate your apartment? I can leave so you can rearrange everything to your own taste.”
He didn’t take his eyes from her. “I love it.”
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus came through the speaker and Hailey’s eyes dropped to Ryan’s lips. She tore her gaze away, training it on the dog resting at the base of the tiny tree. “Oh, I forgot one last thing.”
“Yeah?” he asked, his voice husky.
Hailey stepped past him, reaching into the last Target bag to pull out a small Santa hat with a paw print on the front.
Ryan’s eyebrows rose. “Is that for me?”
“No.” She stepped further away from him. The space was doing her good, unfogging her brain. “It’s for Sergeant.”
“Good luck getting him to wear it.”
Hailey accepted the challenge. She got down on one knee, clicking her tongue. “C’mere, Sergeant. There’s a good boy.”
The dog’s ears perked up, and he lifted his head before trotting toward her, head slightly bent. She rubbed his ears. “I’m going to give you a cool hat, okay?” Sergeant didn’t seem to hear her; his eyes were closing blissfully as she scratched behind his ear until she seamlessly slipped the hat over his head and he froze, looking at her, then Ryan. He barked once, then nuzzled his head against her chest, and Hailey laughed, reaching to scratch him under the belly.
“I win,” she said, beaming up at Ryan.
Ryan’s expression made her pause, his face serious and warm. Hailey chuckled awkwardly, rising and dusting her hands together. “Well, I better get going.”
“Do you have somewhere to be? I was thinking of ordering in, maybe watching a Christmas movie.”
“Oh, that sounds…” The blonde that knocked on the door earlier flashed in her mind, followed by Amber’s warning that Ryan was dealing with a terrible breakup. Maybe he just wanted a rebound, and maybe hanging out wouldn’t kill either of them. “Someone stopped by earlier tonight. I didn’t get her name, but she seemed uncomfortable finding me here. I tried to reassure her that I wasn’t—that we aren’t…” She smiled awkwardly.
Ryan’s eyebrows drew together. “I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
“She was short, blonde…” Insanely gorgeous. Hailey pulled her purse from the counter and smiled. “Maybe another time. I really need to work on my music for the party.”
“Will I see you before Christmas?”
“I don’t think so.” She crossed to the door, trying to make her voice sound light to cover her disappointment. She could stay. She was choosing not to. “I’m heading up to Connecticut for a few days, but I hope you have a great Christmas.”
Ryan followed her over to the door, leaning against the wall beside her while she bent over to put her shoes on. When she stood up, she was close to him, closer than she meant to be.
“I will,” he said, confident, his eyes sparkling. “This place doesn’t feel so sterile anymore, so thanks for that.”
“You know, photographs can help with that, too. Or just any sort of personalization.”
“I’ve got a picture up,” he defended.
She grinned. “I saw it. You were a cute kid.”
Ryan’s boyish smile melted her heart. She wanted to reach forward and brush her knuckles over his stubbled jaw, but that would be weird. He would absolutely think she’d gone crazy. Still, her fingers itched by her sides so she clenched her hands, slipping them behind her back.
“Have a good Christmas.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said. “Same to you.”
His arms came around her before she realized what was happening, and her body melted against his, her hands softening their grips. She returned his hug, sliding her arms around his shoulders. His stubble scratched her forehead and she inhaled—trying to do so quietly so he wouldn’t notice.
She loosened her hold and he seemed to hesitate a moment before he released her and stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Bye, Ryan.” She turned and walked away, gripping the purse strap over her shoulder as if it would actually infuse her with the strength to keep walking. The guy was hot, insanely powerful, wealthy, thoughtful, kind. He was the entire package.
But he had baggage. He was Amber’s brother, and she wouldn’t have warned Hailey away if she hadn’t had a good reason.
Hailey walked to the subway station telling herself over and over again that she’d made the right choice in leaving his apartment. And now she had a few days free of the Martinez-Bierman clan in order to clear her head.
But if she needed to clear her head…then why did it feel so clear already? Why did she feel like leaving him had been the wrong choice?
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan sat on the floor of his niece’s room as she lined up the new plastic bugs Hailey had given her for Christmas and proceeded to explain what was interesting about each one. He tried to appear interested, but it was hard. Learning that orchid mantises could turn pink and blend in with orchids in Asia was not Ryan’s idea of fascinating, but he knew it mattered to Kendra, so he kept his focus on her, engaged.
She picked up a plastic ant as long as her hand. Could her nanny have found bigger bugs? These ones were huge. “Hailey said she’d take me to the zoo when she gets back from her parents’ house to see the leaf cutter ants.”
“If you want to see ants I bet we could find some right now. We just need to search out the trash cans on the sidewalk.”
Kendra laughed. “You’re silly, Uncle Ryan.” She shifted her attention back to the large, plastic insects lined up on the floor. “What’s your favorite bug?”
“You.” He leaped for Kendra and tickled her as she giggled.
She wiggled free, running to her bed and hopping onto it. “You always say that!”
A knock at the door took their attention and Ryan’s mother stepped into the room, not a hair out of place in her flawless, red bob, and not a speck of lint visible on her navy jacket.
“What’s going on in here?” she asked, stepping inside and sitting on the bed beside Kendra.
“I’m learning all sorts of interesting things about bugs,” Ryan said, reclaiming his seat on the floor and leaning against the wall.
“Did you know, Grandma, that the orchid mantis will actually change its color to mimic an orchid? It can blend in with flowers in Asia. I have it in a book if you want to see.”
“Oh, I would love it if you read to me.”
Kendra screwed up her tiny face. “I can’t really read the big words yet, but Hailey has read it to me so many ti
mes I basically memorized it.”
“That’s kind of her.”
Kendra nodded, jumping down to search her bookshelf. “Hailey is really good at reading.”
Ryan’s mother shot him an amused smile.
“Do you miss Hailey when she isn’t here?” his mother asked.
Kendra pulled a book from the shelf and skipped back to her bed. “Yes. She went to see her mom and dad for Christmas and won’t come back for three more days. But it’s okay because we get to spend time together.” She threw her arms around her grandmother.
“Would you like to call her now and wish her a merry Christmas?” Ryan asked before he could think better of it.
Kendra brightened. “Yes!”
He pulled out his phone, avoiding his mother’s shrewd gaze, and gestured to his lap. Starting a video call to Hailey, he put the phone up to frame Kendra, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.
The phone quit ringing, and it took a moment to connect before Hailey’s face appeared on the screen, a wide smile on her lips. “Merry Christmas, Kenny!” she said, grinning.
“Merry Christmas, Hailey! Did Santa bring you anything?”
“He did, but I want to hear about you. How has your day been?”
“Really good. I’ve been setting up my bugs in a zoo and putting them in families. When you get back we can play with my zoo and then we can go to the real zoo.”
Hailey grinned, her eyes sparkling. “That sounds perfect, and I absolutely can’t wait.” She pulled her phone further away, showing an open, brightly lit farmhouse full of people. A plump Christmas tree sat in the corner, gold and red interspersing the greenery hanging over the mantel and wrapping the banister in the background. It was a Christmas haven, strewn with cheer and smiles. “Do you want to say hello to my family, Ken? We’re about to start dinner.”
“Yes!” Kendra waved, and Hailey turned the camera around so everyone in her parents’ house could wave back. The little girl was bouncing on Ryan’s knees, she was so happy, and the weight hit him like a solid wall. He had given this girl’s nanny a ticket out of her life.
“I miss you,” Hailey said, and the crazy part was that Ryan believed her. She stepped out through a door, shifting the camera to show her face again. She genuinely missed this little girl, and it only made him feel worse for inviting Jo out to listen to Hailey.
But, no. He would not feel bad about handing Hailey the opportunity to chase her dreams.
“Grandma told me we could make cookies tomorrow. I’ll save some for you.”
Ryan couldn’t imagine his mother making cookies, but he glanced at her and she just smiled.
Hailey laughed. “That is really thoughtful, Kendra. I’m sure you and your grandma are going to have a great time over the next few days.”
Kendra nodded. “We will.”
Amber’s voice carried from downstairs, letting them know it was time for dinner. Ryan shifted the phone so he could see her, and her smile widened. “Hey,” he said. “We have to go eat, too.”
“Okay, thanks for calling. It was nice to see your face, Ken.”
“You’re welcome,” Kendra said.
Ryan wanted to stay on longer, to ask how her trip had been and if she was getting nervous for her upcoming performance, but Kendra stayed on his lap and his mother sat watching him. “I hope you have a great Christmas, Hailey.”
“Thanks, Ryan. Hey, how’s your tree holding up?”
“Good so far. I thought Sergeant would tear it up during the night, but he’s left it alone.”
“I’m so proud of him.” Someone called her name, and she turned her head, nodding. “I have to go. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas,” Kendra and Ryan chorused back, then hung up the phone. The room became too quiet, and Ryan couldn’t meet his mother’s eye. He helped Kendra stand and got up to follow her downstairs where his sister was pulling a casserole dish from the oven and peeking under the foil.
“We got to talk to Hailey,” Kendra said, skipping past her mom to look at the cake on the counter.
Amber glanced sharply at Ryan, and he gave her a smile, moving around the island to take the stack of plates to the table. He could see she wanted to make a snarky remark, so he got out of there before she could. What did it matter if he liked Hailey? It couldn’t go anywhere unless she bombed the performance Friday, and he knew that wouldn’t happen.
She was too talented not to get noticed.
“Who was that?” Sophie asked, waddling across the back deck to sit on the porch swing, tearing off pieces of a dinner roll as she went and popping them in her mouth.
Hailey sat beside her pregnant little sister, using her toes to rock the swing. “Just Kendra. You were in there when everyone waved, right?”
Sophie didn’t look fooled. “Yeah. But you already know I was asking about the guy on the phone.”
“Oh, him?” Hailey smiled, dropping her head back and pushing the swing harder. “Just Kendra’s uncle.”
“Kendra’s hot uncle, you mean?”
Hailey’s cheeks flushed. “I mean, yeah…he’s not ugly.”
“And he’s comfortable enough with you to video chat?”
“Well, he called for Kendra.”
“Mmhmm,” Sophie said, her voice disbelieving. She rested a hand on her round belly, her face trained on her sister. “What are you not telling me?”
Hailey shrugged. “I don’t really think there’s anything to tell. I like the guy, but he’s so far out of my league it’s not even funny. He went from being a high-powered music exec in LA to the editor-in-chief of New York’s biggest music magazine. He’s not just successful in his own right, either. His dad was huge in the media industry, and they come from really old New York money.”
“It kind of sounds like you’re discounting a relationship before even giving yourself a chance to see where it goes. What if he isn’t as big of a snob as you are?”
Hailey tucked her chin, scoffing. “I’m not a snob.”
“Really? Because you totally sounded like one just now. You won’t date the guy because he has a lot of money? Pretty lame excuse.”
“No. I won’t date the guy because he hasn’t asked me on a date.” Except, he’d invited her to stay for dinner and a Christmas movie the night she set up his apartment. But that hadn’t been a date. It had been a thank you. “His sister warned me away from him because he recently got out of a toxic relationship. Not to mention the fact that he just barely moved back to New York, and if he’s right and Remmy Records sees a future with me, I’ll be moving across the country.”
“Excuses.” Sophie’s hands absently rubbed her belly. “So he’s the one that set you up with the party gig next week? I already like him for thinking Remmy Records will see a future with you.”
“I’m afraid his confidence is rubbing off on me. He’s convinced I’m the next big thing, and he’s only heard me sing once. Well…twice, plus he’s heard my demo. But what if he’s totally wrong and it comes to nothing? My expectations are set so high. I’m going to be so disappointed.”
“Don’t stress yourself out before you need to. The party is New Year’s Eve, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can panic that morning for ten minutes. Set a timer if you need to. Ten minutes, then pull up your socks and get to work awing that room full of people who have the power to make your dreams come true.”
“But that’s the rub, Soph.” Hailey stopped the swinging bench and turned in her seat to face her sister head-on. “I’ve been playing New York clubs for almost four years. If my voice is as amazing and unique as Ryan thinks it is, why haven’t I caught anyone’s eye before now? My video went viral, but no one has been trying to bang down the door to get to me. I’m not convinced that anything will come of this. I’m worried that I’ll start to believe in myself the way Ryan does and end up massively disappointed when it leads nowhere.”
“He invited his friend from Remmy specifically to hear you sing, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you have reason to hope. You’re not just hoping to be noticed this time. There will be someone there with the sole intention of figuring out if you’re worth taking a chance on or not. And for the record, I think he’s going to be blown away.” Sophie leaned over, pulling Hailey into a hug. “Now can we go eat? Mom announced dinner like twenty minutes ago, and I’m famished.”
“You were snacking on a roll when you came out here.”
“Blame the baby. I’m hungry always.”
Hailey laughed, getting off the swing before turning to help her sister up. “Thanks for listening.”
“You know I’m here for you. But can I give you one last piece of advice?”
“Sure.”
“Next time Kendra’s hot uncle wants to chat with you, don’t act like you aren’t interested. You don’t know what’s going to happen, or where you’ll be a month from now. So don’t decide that you’re meant to fail before you even give it a chance.”
“That’s a good speech. Maybe next time Ryan wants to hang out with me I’ll call you and make you repeat it.”
Sophie grabbed her arm. “He wanted to hang out? What did you do?”
“Nothing. I went home.”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless.”
That’s exactly what she was afraid of.
Chapter Sixteen
Hailey gripped her guitar case, moving it to the other hand as her sweaty palm made the handle slick. It was going to be fine. She was going to do fine. If she told herself that enough times it was bound to be true, right?
She had taken Nikki over to the Martinezes’ house earlier to settle her in with Kendra and had left as Nikki was pulling out sparkly Play-doh and asking Kendra which bug they should form first. They were clearly going to have a good time.
But Hailey didn’t know if the same would be true for her. She tried to tell herself that she didn’t need to worry. She was background music, meant to be tucked into the corner of the little boutique-y event floor, playing low music as rich music executives and magazine bigwigs drank and socialized. She had gone to the Granger Studio the night before for a soundcheck and practiced a slow song and an upbeat, traditional one, and they’d both sounded great.
Melodies and Mistletoe (Christmas in the City Book 3) Page 11
