by Jemma Grey
“Yeah, Eric does have that,” she mused. “Anyway, I should be going.” She hugged me again and then stood up. “I’m so happy you’re okay and come back to school soon, Jen, we miss you a lot. Bye.”
I waited until Charde had left then pulled out the magazine from under my pillow and began flipping through the pages. When I found my picture, I took a long deep breath preparing myself for what I was about to do.
Since I left Trinidad, I had never talked about my past, but it was time that I explained it to Eric… not all of it, but at least some. I owed him that much. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this, but I knew that sooner or later I had to tell him. I was tired of keeping everything inside me.
“So I have a nice ass, do I?” he asked beaming as he walked back into my bedroom, closing the door behind him.
“I had to throw something in for your benefit,” I smiled at him nervously. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my frantic heart. “Anyway Eric… I want to talk to you…”
“What about?” he asked, sitting down next to me.
I placed the magazine open to the page of the picture on my lap. “About this,” I whispered staring down at it.
“Jen,” Eric began at once and there was something in his voice that made me look at him. He seemed way too calm. “You don’t have to explain anything.”
“I want to,” I cut him off, and he instantly closed his mouth. I frowned and looked down at the picture, studying it.
The page itself wasn’t an individual picture. Instead in the middle had the largest picture which showed all of us carelessly draped about the car. Around that picture was our individual shots, which had also been placed carelessly
– or so it seemed – with its corners sticking out at all angles and over lapping the main picture.
There were five of us in the main picture – Brandon, Danny, Daren, Kris and I. “This is Kris,” I pointed to the only other girl in the picture. She had a small figure and her hair was long, almost reaching her waist and perfectly straight.
Next to her was Brandon, her boyfriend. He was leaning on the car, his side facing the camera and his back to Kris. She had her hands wrapped around his neck. Unlike me, she wasn’t sitting on the hood of the car, she was on her knees and the front of her body was pressed against Brandon’s back.
“Brandon,” I said pointing to him. “He has the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen, apart from yours. It’s a piercing grey color that’s always awake, even when he’s dead tired. Kris always said that his eyes were the first thing she fell in love with…”
“Next is Danny.” Danny was at the driver’s side of the car. His hand w as touching the handle of the door as if he was about to open it. “He was the last person that saw me before I left… That night he was there too... He um…” I closed my eyes letting my head fall into my hands. “He got me out of the house and back home…” I trailed off. I hadn’t removed my hands from covering my face and my voice came out muffled.
“And this…” I took a deep breath, opening my eyes, gently running my fingers along Daren’s body. He was standing at the side of the car, facing me. One hand was on his cheek and his mouth was hanging open forming a silent O.
It almost looked comical, as if he was trying to make me laugh. Looking at us, you would have never guessed we were in the middle of a fight, because I was smiling sweetly at the camera, completely ignorant of Daren’s shocked and funny face just inches from mine.
“This is Daren,” I choked out, turning to face Eric. “We’re racers, Eric,” I managed to get out. “We’re… I was an illegal street racer,” I corrected myself. “And the car in the picture… it’s mine – was mine.”
The car was a black Subaru that had glowing red neon lights on the rims and underneath. Bright red flames with a burning vine of thorns and roses were painted on both sides of the car. It was dropped low, almost touching the ground, and heavily tinted; so deep that even if you went right up to the car and pressed your face against the glass you would still have a hard time seeing what was inside. Even the windscreen was tinted, but it wasn’t as heavy as the windows.
You couldn’t see most of these details in the picture though. Unlike all the other cars we owned, this car was only for show – it didn’t even begin to compare to the others in speed, though it was fast. The others had all been built especially for speed and racing, but I had designed this car with only looks in mind so Kris could enter it into car shows and stuff.
I looked up at Eric, quietly begging him to say something, but as the seconds dragged on, he kept his eyes focused on the picture, and I began to wonder what was going through his mind. The silence was deafening and as the seconds seemed to grow, I urged to reach out and touch him. The feeling to reassure myself that he wasn’t going to get up and walk away from me, to hold onto him gripped my body hard and strong, but I kept my hands at my side in tight fists. Finally, when it sunk in that Eric was not going to say anything, I slid the magazine off my lap and unto his. He needed time to digest this, and I was going to give him that.
I stood up, about to walk away when Eric grabbed my hand, making me stop. He pulled me back down to sit next to him, turning to face me. “Why do you always assume I’m going to leave you?”
“I can’t help it,” I whispered, so low that it seemed like only my lips moved. Tears were forming in my eyes now and it took everything I had to hold them in. Eric nodded and then turned back to the picture in front of him.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” he uttered.
I looked down at our hands. “My world is just as much of a secret as yours is,” I whispered making myself look at him. “Why aren’t you mad at me?”
“I already told you, I knew you had a past the moment I met you. It’s what makes you who you are… and let’s face it, this is hot,” he grinned, taking my hand in his. Instantly I looked down to our fingers, now linked together as my awareness level of him skyrocketed. I was suddenly conscious of how close we were to each other.
Eric and I were sitting only inches away, our linked hands were our only connection and that was all it took for me to become so aware of him that I saw every little detail; the slight rise and fall of his chest, the way his body was tense… the way he looked at me, his eyes mirroring the exact thoughts in my head.
We wanted each other; it was clear on both our faces. I could feel the raw chemistry floating in the air, making the space between us sizzle. I felt the need in my veins, strong and unrelenting. I couldn’t breathe properly, and even if I could all that would do was make me inhale his scent, which I was sure would cause much more damage. My blood called to him the same way that his was screaming at me.
In that moment I wanted nothing more and acting on instinct alone, I slowly raised my face to meet his. I felt myself freeze for a second, wondering if I really wanted this, but before my brain could form any type of argument against it, my body reacted to the desires gushing through me, and I brought my lips up to meet his.
This kiss was different from all the rest. It was slow and timid almost, like the type of kiss a couple would share at the end of their first date. It was unsure but there was something in it that I had never felt before – not even with Daren – and I couldn't figure out what it was. Even so, I could literally hear my brain cells clicking off one at a time. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as my hands hesitantly snaked their way to his neck.
Without breaking the kiss he gently laid me down on the bed and then seconds later he was hovering over me, his hands slowly travelling up the sides of my body, leaving heated trails behind. My skin burned where he touched. When he finally did break the kiss, we were both breathless. I didn’t open my eyes. Instead I laid there, completely wrapped around Eric, trying to find some form of coherent thought.
“We should stop… before I can’t fight this anymore…” Eric whispered, his voice husky.
“Don’t fight it…” I whispered back, keeping my eyes closed as I breathed in his s
cent. He was driving me insane. I wanted him. I needed him, and constantly fighting this overwhelming lust and desire was exhausting. I was tired of fighting it.
“Do you really want this..?” he asked.
Slowly I opened my eyes and found myself staring straight into his face, and in that instant something happened inside me. I changed. It was like a switch being flipped on or a candle being lit. The feeling was so strong that for a moment I couldn’t do anything. It struck me like walking face first into a concrete wall.
Suddenly I wasn’t the broken girl anymore. I became something more. I was someone else with a totally different view of the world, a different mindset, a different soul. The broken girl was still there, but she wasn’t all that I was, not anymore. I missed Daren and the guilt remained, but it didn’t hurt so much.
I could hear Eric’s words echoing in my head and I knew what this was: A bond by fate; the strongest bond that ever existed. We didn’t love like humans did; only one person forever. This was the bond between purebloods. I could feel it running through me; the love I felt for him, the willingness to make him happy and to always keep him safe. I never wanted to cause him pain.
“I want this…” I muttered back, crushing my lips to his, not because I was tired of fighting these urges anymore, but because I was in love with Eric Wilson.
15
When I woke up, it was still dark outside. The moonlight peeked through the thin white curtains, giving the room a soft, silvery, almost ghost-like glow. Briefly, my eyes went to the small digital clock on the bedside table, and I found that it was just after 2AM. Eric was still asleep, his arms draped around my body, hugging me close to him. It felt nice - warm and comfortable - and I turned so that my front was now to his, pressing my face into his chest and inhaled deeply. My eyes closed automatically as I tried falling back asleep.
Sleep wouldn't come though. My mind refused to rest, constantly thinking about my newly-found feelings for the boy wrapped around me and at the very thought, my heart swelled. I was in love with him, in a way that I didn't think was possible, at least not after Daren. But along with this love for Eric, came other things; things that I didn’t quite understand or know how to deal with yet.
For one, now a huge part of me wanted this wedding. I actually wanted to marry Eric. I wasn't fighting against the wedding as I'd been fighting just a few hours ago. I wanted to make Eric happy and give him what he deserved. This wedding was what would make him happy and a part of me wanted it too, but I didn't want it for me, I wanted it for him.
Deep down I still wasn’t ready for this. I didn't want to become a wife to someone yet. There was also the guilt and betrayal I felt. Even now I grieved for Daren. All the hurt and anger hadn’t left. I also felt so much guilt because all the things I would do with Eric, were the very things Daren and I had planned to do together. I was still stumbling around, trying to find myself, because deep down I was still the same broken girl. I was so confused and lost.
Without thinking, I carefully removed Eric's arms from around me and got out of the bed. The digital clock was now at exactly 3AM. Grabbing the first set of clothes I could find, I tiptoed to the bathroom and then turned on the shower and climbed in. The water was hot on my skin, almost scalding. But it felt nice and the heat seemed to melt away most of the tension from my body. I could literally feel my muscles unclenching under my skin. When I was done I stepped out of the shower and started to get dress. When I walked out of my bedroom, I went to Eric's and found one of his hoodie. Then without thinking, I pulled the jacket on and found myself walking towards the front door.
I wanted to be out of the house, even if it was just for a small walk. Over the last few days, my bedroom w as the only thing I'd seen and I craved being outdoors. I wanted the fresh air.
Once out the front door, I paused for a few seconds and inhaled deeply. The air was cold and biting against my skin, but I didn't mind. It felt so good being out here and without giving it a second thought, I took off slowly jogging. I didn’t know where I was going exactly and I realized that I'd never really left the house alone before. Someone was always with me. I picked a route and decided that as long as I didn't go too far I wasn't going to get lost.
The streets were bare, except for cars that would speed past me at long intervals. Street lights layered the pavements, giving the sidewalk an orange-yellowish warm glow. It was completely silent, and I found the stillness somewhat comforting. Chilly air blew at my face and hair, and in response I pulled the hood of the jacket over my head.
I had been running for just about fifteen minutes, when I began feeling strange. My body went tense and rigid. My pulse quickened instantly as my entire frame became suddenly uneasy. Tig ht knots formed in my stomach, pulling and twisting tighter as the seconds passed me by. The feeling was so intense that it was almost something physical inside me, just screaming and crawling to get out. Acting on instinct alone, I froze at once as my eyes began scanning the empty streets, looking for the source of my unease. I came up with nothing though. I was alone.
I forced myself to let out a loud and long breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding. I was probably being stupid and overreacting anyway. Trying to shove the thoughts away, I shook my head, turned back to the direction I’d come from and started back for the house. I couldn’t shake the feeling though. It was like something was watching me. I could feel its eyes on my body, burning holes into me.
That was when it happened. Air whipped around me with so much force that it pushed me back as loud thunderous animal-like growls, vicious and angry tore through the silence. Then suddenly there was a hot, stinging breath blowing at the back of my neck.
My heart was pumping in my chest, pushing adrenaline through my veins instantly. I shut my eyes tightly hoping that by some miracle the menacing breaths would vanish as I forced my foot to move, inching forward slowly. As soon as I moved a low angry warning growl ripped through the air, making me shiver and freeze immediately. I didn’t risk even breathing now as the seconds dragged on. Slowly and carefully, I forced my body to turn around, ignoring all the warning snarls coming from whatever was behind me. I then forced my eyes open, not even aware when I’d closed them and found myself staring at two rows of sharp vicious teeth. Instantly my hands shot up to my mouth stifling the loud scream itching to tear from my throat.
I literally couldn’t move. Every muscle and cell in my body was frozen from fear as I stared at the beast before me. I had never seen anything like it before, but I knew what it was - the very species that wanted me dead. I was standing inches away from a wolf, except this thing before me was nothing like the TV version. It was a lot meaner and much more deadly, and from the low menacing growls rising from its throat, it wanted me dead. All I could do was stare, wide eyed and scared at the monster before me.
Its eyes were like bright red glowing balls, even though its pupils were pitch black. It had long pointed rows of teeth that glistened as drool fell in clumps from its skinned back lips. Even on all fours it reached my height, and its deadly eyes bored into mine. It had a plain shiny black coat that looked wiry and thorn-like and every breath that it let out, pushed me back slightly and blew my hair behind my head.
Involuntarily, I felt my body take a small step back and as I moved so did the wolf. The thing raised on its two back legs, almost doubling in size. I took another step back and the wolf dropped back on all fours nearly touching my face. It let out a low vicious snarl that sent a new, more powerful ripple of fear surging through me.
“Easy Zoryiaa, you'll have your chance,” a musical male voice said that I recognized as soon as I’d heard it, and in response all the small hairs on my body rose as another dose of crippling fear crushed me. All I could think about was him and the night he'd killed Daren and Brandon. I saw that night re-playing in my head, over and over again, constantly on repeat. I couldn't think about anything else. I couldn't breathe. I couldn’t do anything. He'd finally found me and I knew that without a doubt he was going
to finish what he started. Zane was going to kill me too and this time he would finish the job. There was no one here to stop him.
With just the shift of its eyes, the creature before me looked at the owner of the voice and then took a step back, returning its eyes to me. “Hello, Jen, it's been a while, has it not?” he said and I slowly turned in the direction the voice had come from, ignoring one monster to find another casually walking towards me. He took a few steps and then stopped on the sidewalk, directly under the streetlight, making his body seem to glow a warm yellowish color. A small, venomous smile slowly spread across his lips and then he gently brought his hand up, wiggling his fingers at me sweetly.
The moment my eyes met him, something changed in me. Suddenly I was no longer afraid. Instead all I felt now was anger - pure and undiluted rage. It replaced the fear coursing through my body and rooting my feet to the ground. Hate towards Zane, and everything he did and took from me burned away all the horror. It threw caution out the window. I hated him more than I feared him. Suddenly all I could think about and focus on was him. I wanted nothing more than to rip him apart, limb from limb. I wanted to take everything away from him and cause him the same pain he caused me. It drove me insane and blurred my vision red.
At my side, my hands clenched into tight fists, my nails digging into my palms with so much intensity that the skin broke. Everything else vanished from my sight, leaving only us. I forgot that he was stronger than I was and that he could kill me in a heartbeat. I forgot about the wolf’s soulless eyes locked on me. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the killer intent bubbling inside me, and without thinking or as much as a warning, I launched myself at him, my only coherent thought being to murder his ass.
Immediately my fist shot out towards his face and slammed into his nose, sending him stumbling back, surprised. Blood gushed from his nose and I took another step towards him, sending my hand towards his face again. This time I heard a loud crack echo through the air as soon as my hand met his jaw. I pulled my hand back at once and then again sent it hurling towards his face, ignoring the searing pain beating in my wrist now.
