Sitting in the booth across from Alex, sits Ashley. Her appearance hasn’t changed a bit, except for her short cut on her platinum blonde hair that I begrudgingly admit makes her even prettier. Pair that with her typical low-cut shirt with her perky boobs still on display. I growl, while she smiles at him, laughing as he speaks. He lectured me on not telling him about the farm, but not telling me about meeting up with her, is the ultimate betrayal. I watch them for nearly five minutes, unmoving, body numb and getting angrier by the second. Mentally begging Alex to get up and walk away, but he doesn’t.
The smiles shared between them, while the memories of her torturing me, roll like a movie inside of my head.
“Poor little, Lizzy,” Ashley taunts me in the locker room at school, while changing after gym class. “No wonder Alex doesn’t see you. Look at those mosquito bite titties of yours.”
“I’m not even sure she has boobs,” Marie, her friend, adds in. “What’s your cup size? Triple-A negative.” The group of girls with Ashley break out into a chorus of maniacal laughter. Chatting Lizzy No Tits, their horrendous nickname for me, while I try to get changed desperately and out of the locker room, before anyone else joins in with them. She had Alex. Hook, line, and slutty sinker, but it isn’t enough for her. Not when Alex and I spend so much time together. It’s gotten worse, since he left her at a party to come to get me, when my truck got a flat tire. When he chose me over her, I became the girl with the biggest target on her back for simply being his friend.
I open my locker to grab my backpack, and a pile of tissues fall to my feet. Ashley cat calls me the minute they hit the floor. “Is that what you stuff your bra with?” The laughter erupts again, and I bolt from the locker room with tears, streaming down my face.
I can feel the hot tears, spilling down my face from my trip down memory lane, taking me back to the scared little girl that I used to be. But I’m not her anymore. Go in there and kick her ass, Lizzy. Show her that she doesn’t scare you anymore. It’s honestly not a horrible idea. Ashley may be a bitch, but she has this coming to her, even if I end up in the county jail for assault. I start for the door, when Mrs. Troy comes out of the diner, greeting me loudly. Ashley’s eyes snap to the front door, spotting me. Her eyes grow wide in shock, and Alex turns, placing me at the window.
I pivot quickly, breaking into a run, when the chime of the diner rings and heavy footsteps, at a face run, come up from behind me.
“Hey Iz, wait up!” Alex yells, but I don’t stop. I can’t. Not telling me about seeing her is as good as lying to me. There is no reason for the two of them to meet up. Not without me present. He knows that she’s the one person who knows how to hurt me, even better than he does. I make it to my truck and climb inside, before Alex finally catches up to me.
“Open the door, Iz. It’s not what you think.” He pounds on the glass, begging me to roll down the window. I fire up the engine and peel out of the parking spot, leaving him and my broken heart in the dust. After last night, and after everything that has happened between us, he goes to her the next morning. Am I some kind of post-high school bet between them? What on earth would make Alex betray me like this with her of all people? It doesn’t make sense. Not even in a fantasy world does this make sense, but I can’t deny what I say. Them together, laughing and smiling. The memory of them sitting there so cozy in that booth makes my stomach roll. How could he do this to me?
The drive home is a complete blur of uncontrollable sobs and anger, until I find myself in my own driveway, beating on the steering and screaming. My tears, coating it. I don’t even make it to the porch, before Alex pulls in behind me. His audacity of even showing up here is pissing me off even more. My message, when I left him at the curb, apparently wasn’t clear enough.
I break into a run, praying that I can get inside, before he reaches me. “Iz, wait!” He calls out again. “Please don’t do this. Just let me explain.”
“How could you?” I scream back at him, stopping to face him and letting my anger take over. “You know how I feel about her.”
He approaches me slowly with outwardly facing hands in a sign of surrender. “It’s not what you think it is.”
“How can it not be? You went to her. The one person who spent her entire life torturing me because of you. Did last night mean so little to you that she was your next stop?” Each word flies from my lips without so much as a careful thought of the fact that my parents could hear every word of it, but I didn’t care. Him being with her hurt me. He knew that it would. “Is this your easy out? Screw your old best friend, and then send her running to the hills with the help of your ex? I thought you were better than that.”
“How could you even say that? I fucking love you, Iz,” he yells back with a nastiness in his tone. What right does he have to be mad right now? He did this to us. Not even to us, because we are barely an us, to begin with. Alex takes a step closer to me, but I put my hands out to stop him from approaching me. “I went to Ashley to help you. Her husband’s family owns a dairy business.”
“Your intentions don’t matter. You went to her and didn’t tell me,” I bellow angrily. I’m seeing red. Blood, curdling red. Nothing he says can rationalize his actions. Not a single word of it. “Of all people, you told her about our farm. You know what she did to me. She is the absolute last person on earth that I would accept help from.”
“She can help, Iz. Please, I’m trying to give you what you want.” He really doesn’t know me after all, if he thinks solving my family’s problem without including me in the decision process, is going to make me happy. Want and need are two very different avenues, and if that avenue involves Ashley, it’s a dead fucking end.
“Iz, please understand. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
“That’s where you went wrong, Alex. Going to her hurt me. You going against my wishes hurt me, but you didn’t think about that, did you? No, you only thought about what you wanted. Well, guess what. What I want is for you to leave and not come back.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” My tone clear and concise, and he winces under my hateful gaze. He takes a few steps closer to me, but I scream for him to get back. Dad comes running from the barn at the commotion, getting in between us.
“Son, I think you need to leave.”
“Mr. Moulton, please hear me out. I can save your farm.”
Dad takes two steps closer to him. Nearly nose to nose, while Mom eases up behind me, holding me tightly.
“We don’t need your help. Get. Off. My. Property.”
Alex looks over Dad’s shoulder to me, pleading with me to reconsider.
“Come on inside, Lizzy,” my mother’s soft voice beckons me. “Let your daddy handle this.”
“Please, Iz. Don’t do this. I beg you.”
“You should have thought about that, before you went to her.”
I turn my back, leaving my dad and Alex outside, heading into the house. His betrayal snapping the final straw in our relationship. Not even two steps inside, I crumble to the floor. My strength is gone, and heart lying shattered out there with Alex. Mom tries to soothe me, but nothing can fix the unfixable.
13
The bright morning sun peeks through the curtains, when my eyes finally open. Exhaustion still ravaging my mind and body, as if I didn’t sleep for more hours than I had in three days combined. I lay here, replaying the events over and over again. I never thought that I would be one of those girls, who cried herself to sleep over a boy. Turns out, I am, but I had a little help with the two shots of Jack Daniels Mom gave me to calm my nerves. My sleep was fitful. More than once, I thought about walking out to the porch to clear my head, but the thought of finding Alex out there, like I have so many other times, nixed that idea quickly. It would better for me, if I never laid eyes on him. My resolve is stronger away from him. This is the only way. I can never forgive him after this.
After my phone buzzed and buzzed all night with Alex’s name scrolling across the screen,
the battery finally gave out. So many times, I had to stop myself from answering it or listening to the half of a dozen voicemails he left me. It won’t do me a bit of good. Hearing his voice will only take me back to that curb, watching him with her. Living my high school bully nightmare live and in color. Only this time, Alex knew he was breaking my heart in the process.
That’s the biggest issue of all. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew who he was asking a favor from. He remembers how I felt about her yet, there he was without even telling me. The biggest mistake I made was telling him in the first place. I should have just kept my big mouth shut and lied. It would have saved me a whole lot of heartbreak in the end.
The best thing that I can do is move on. Continue like this time with Alex never happened. It’s my only option. Alex McCloud won’t exist for me anymore. I will spend the rest of my life, finding new memories to erase away the painful one he left behind. Without my phone being charged, I have no idea what time it is, but the sun never being out, when I usually wake up, tells me that I slept way past the morning milking.
Sliding from my bed, I peek down the hallway, and the house is quiet as a mouse. No smells of breakfast. No sign of Pete begging me to get moving. Quickly dressing, I head down the hallway and see the kitchen empty. What the hell is going on? Something has to be wrong. I bolt to the kitchen door, calling out for them both. Not a single answer, so I grab my boots and start searching for them. All vehicles accounted for in the driveway save for a brand-new Ford F350, sitting behind Big Red. Who in the hell could that be?
Mom’s gray head pops from the far barn door. “In here, Lizzy,” she calls out, before disappearing back inside. I follow her and find her and Dad in the barn with a man in a dark business suit, standing between them. I can only see the back of his shorn, blond head, but I watch from a distance, while Dad points around the building, showing him our milking mechanisms, and discussing the daily process.
“There she is,” Mom comments, when she finally sees me. “This is our daughter, Elizabeth.”
The man with my parents turns and reaches out a hand to me. “Pleased to meet you, Elizabeth. I’m Connor Griffin.” I take his hand, firmly shaking it. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Thanks?” My voice wavering with confusion. How could a complete stranger know who I am?
“Mr. Griffin is interested in contacting us for his milk production, Lizzy,” my mother gleefully replies, and my heart skips a beat. News like this couldn’t have come at a better time, but an eleventh-hour miracle, is only something you see in movies. Not in real life. I can’t help but be a little skeptical.
“That’s great news, but I have to ask, Mr. Griffin. How did you find out about our operation? It’s not like we advertise in the Yellow Pages.” He laughs hard, while my mother looks on in horror for my abrasiveness for asking such a forward question.
“Mr. Clayton is a business associate of mine.” That beautiful, forgetful old man. I could kiss him right now. Missing my appointment? Water under the bridge. If this panned out, he’ll be getting a dozen of my mom’s sugar cream pies, as a thank you. “When he told me about your family ran operation, I have to be honest, that I wasn’t really sure this would be a good business move for us. But coming here and seeing the operation for myself, I think he was right to call me.”
“What kind of business are you in exactly, Mr. Griffin, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Not at all, but please, call me Connor,” he smiles. “My family has a string of artisanal cheese shops around the country. Mostly in urban areas, where farm to table is the trend right now. We specialize in organics and custom-made specialty cheeses.”
“Well, you can’t get more organic than this.” I twirl with my arms raised in the air. “We’re the definition of organic. Down to the two people who run the place.”
“That you can’t. Your family’s story and the history of your farm is perfect for what I have in mind for our new shop that’s being built in Louisville. We’re expanding our business line to homemade ice cream and other milk by-products.” Dad beams with happiness. This man is the answer to our prayers, but I still have a few questions. It can’t be this simple.
“But to do all that, you’re going to need a larger supply, am I right?”
“That’s the beauty of this place. You’ve got the room to expand. With a little more automation, you can be our prime producers.” And that’s when the other shoe drops. Automation takes money. The one thing we don’t have. Disappointment flashes across my face, before I can hide it from my parents and Connor.
“That’s a part of the deal, Lizzy,” Dad interjects, as Connor nods his head. I look to Mom, who smiles back at me, as I shake my head in disbelief.
“So, you’re telling me that not only are you going to contract our milk, but you’re also going to be paying for the improvements to automate us fully.”
“That is correct. We’ll also be willing to kick in a favorable sum to provide capital to purchase more heifers and properly staff the operation.”
“What’s the catch?” I blurt out hastily. “Something this good can’t be true. Where’s the fine print?”
“I assure you, Miss Moulton, that this deal is completely transparent,” he says, pacing around me. “We get the milk we need close to home to reduce our shipping costs. While you get a long-term contract with a company, who has been around longer than any other artisanal creamery in the country. Plus, everything that I’ve previously mentioned. No strings attached. The agreement is for the next twenty-five years.”
This time my heart completely stops. Twenty-five years of guaranteed business, automation, and more livestock. Where the hell do I sign?
“What do you think, Lizzy?” Dad plainly asks me. “This place is just as much mine, as it is yours. I won’t do this without you.”
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea, Dad.”
“If we’re all in an agreement, I can have the papers drawn up and over to you next week. Capital should be in your hands within a matter of days. We’ll have our automation team come over, and see exactly what you need to get started, and then we’ll go from there.”
“Can I get a minute?” I barely get it out, before I’m out of the barn, celebrating entirely out of sight.
“Hi Lizzy,” a female voice calls out, stopping me mid-dance. I peer up, and a familiar and unexpected face stares back at me. The same look I saw sitting across the booth from Alex just yesterday morning, when he ripped my heart away. Ashley fucking Avery. On my property. I knew this was too good to be fucking real.
“He’s your husband, isn’t he?”
“He is.”
“Did you put him up to this, or did Alex?”
“Neither. A family friend, your lender, recommended your farm to Connor’s family. It’s a good deal, Lizzy. You should take it.”
“I will take nothing from you. Not after what you did to me.”
Ashley takes a few short steps closer to me, and I recoil. She grimaces at my reaction to her being so close to me. “Can we go somewhere else and talk, please? I don’t want to make a scene in front of everyone.”
“You always did like an audience.”
“Please, if you don’t like what I have to say, then I’ll leave, but I hope that you don’t change your mind on the deal.”
“Fine,” I scoff. “We can go up on the porch.” I say, as she follows me there. Her high heels, clicking on the cement steps, as she ascends them behind me. I settle into one of the rocking chairs, offering her the other one. “Talk. You’ve got five minutes.”
“You have every right to be angry with me and Alex, for that matter. I had no idea he hadn’t told you, until I saw the look on your face outside the diner yesterday.”
“We both know it’s more than just yesterday, Ashley.”
“I know, and I’d like to apologize for my actions back in high school. I bullied you, and I shouldn’t have.”
“You didn’t bully me. You tortu
red me relentlessly because of Alex.”
“I did. I won’t lie about that, but I was jealous of what the two of you had together.”
Excuse me? Does she not remember high school as well as I do? She was in the relationship with Alex. Not me. Has she taken a blow to the head?
“Had together? We were friends, Ashley. You were his girlfriend,” I remind her coldly.
“We both know that isn’t true. You and Alex were a packaged deal. Anyone who saw you two together knew it, except for me. And when I realized that, it was too late. I had fallen for him, so I took it out on you. For that, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I hate thinking about the horrible things I said.”
“This still doesn’t make up for the fact of what you did. A late apology can’t fix the damage.”
“I know it doesn’t, but apologizing is the first step, or that’s what my counselor says,” she declares cautiously. “I had a break down, after Alex broke up with me. I tried to take my own life.”
I stare back at her. She tried to commit suicide over Alex? How is that possible? She acted like everything was fine for the last few weeks of school. How has no one heard about it?
“Don’t pity me,” she mutters, looking away. “I’ve owned my mistakes. It took a long time, but I’m finally in a good place, thanks to Connor.”
She’s right. I never expected to hear an apology from her without hell having to freeze over. Some of the things that she did to me still haunt me to this day. My horrible body image issues are thanks to her, and her locker room teasing. The caution I take with allowing new people in my life, same cause and effect. But to see her here, on my porch, so vulnerable, I can’t let her leave without closure. Not now knowing about her own struggles.
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 269
