“Then what?”
“I’ll come back and visit you tomorrow unless you’d prefer a different doctor?”
“No, I don’t want someone else.”
“Ok, then I guess you’re stuck with me.” Cassidy smiled even though it was wasted on Grady.
“I think I’m falling…”
Cassidy finished his sentence. “Asleep.”
Weston was cleaning the bathroom when he heard the door open. “Want some help?”
“Nah, I’m good. I just didn’t want to leave all these pills for the housekeeper to find tomorrow.”
“Good idea.”
Weston closed the medicine cabinet. “How did things go with Grady?”
“I’m not sure he’s eaten or slept in days.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have allowed that bitch ex of his to take care of him.”
“Well, you’re here now and I trust that you will keep him on track.”
“I hope so.”
“I’m going to go make a quick phone call and then I’ll head back in and check on him.”
“Is he awake?”
“No, I gave him something so he could sleep.”
“You up for some sushi or pizza? I’m starved.”
“I’ll never turn down pizza.” Cassidy smiled.
Weston pulled his phone from his pocket. “Pizza, it is!”
Cassidy removed Grady’s IV, tucked him in and then picked up her bag. “Sleep well.”
“Thank you.”
Cassidy jumped. She didn’t realize Weston was in Grady’s room. Thank goodness she didn’t do anything embarrassing like kiss his forehead. “You must think I’m crazy talking to a sleeping person.”
“No, not at all.”
“I need to get going. Thank you for dinner.”
“You’re thanking me.” Weston laughed. “I owe you big time. Which reminds me…I need to write you a check. How much do I owe you?”
“You fed me pizza so we’re even.”
Weston shook his head. “Oh no. I can’t let you do that. You’ve been here for hours.”
“It kept me from sitting home alone watching TV.”
“Well, then you can at least let me take you out for a real dinner sometime?”
“That won’t be necessary.” She looked over at Grady who was sound asleep. “Give me a call when he wakes up.” Cassidy took off. She knew Weston was just being polite but the thought of going for dinner with him got her flustered. It had been such a long time since she’d been anywhere with a man.
7
Grady rolled over and opened his eyes. “Good morning!”
“I guess I finally got some sleep.”
“About sixteen hours. So, are you feeling any better today?”
“I’m not as tired.”
Weston placed his hand down onto Grady’s leg. “We’re going to get you through this, Buddy.”
“Thanks, West.”
“Why don’t you call Doc Scott while I make us some breakfast.”
“Maybe later.” Grady rolled over.
“Grady, you need help. I don’t care if you talk to her or someone else, but you need help.”
“I know. I really lost it yesterday.”
“I’m just grateful that I didn’t lose my best friend.”
“Thank you for everything, West.”
“If you really want to thank me…”
“I know, then call the shrink.”
Grady picked up his phone and then realized he couldn’t dial it. “WEST!”
“YEAH?”
“CAN YOU COME HELP ME?”
“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.”
Grady leaned his head back against the wall. He was completely and totally helpless.
“I had to wash my hands. So, what do you need help with?”
Grady held out his phone. “I can’t even dial a phone without help.”
Weston took the phone from Grady. “This isn’t permanent.”
“I feel like I’m trapped in an ongoing nightmare.”
“Then find your way out of it.” Weston dialed Cassidy’s phone number and then handed the phone back to Grady after he hit send. “Here’s your chance.”
“Cassidy Scott!”
Grady cleared his throat. “Hey, umm, it’s me…Grady O’Malley.”
Cassidy looked down at the phone. His voice sounded so much deeper and even sexier over the phone. “Grady, hello! How did you sleep?”
“I don’t remember much. Weston said I got a good sixteen hours.”
“How do you feel today?”
“Stupid.”
“We all have bad days.”
“A bad day! It wasn’t one bad day, it’s been weeks.”
“Let’s fix that. Can I come over in an hour?”
“I guess.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
Grady heard the phone beep indicating that Cassidy hung up. He tossed the phone down onto the bed.
“Latte time!”
Cassidy looked up and Jess was smiling at her holding two lattes. “They don’t happen to be spiked?”
Jess laughed. “Umm, no.”
Cassidy took the latte from Jess, had a sip, and sighed. “Thank you.”
“What’s got you in need of alcohol before dark?”
“It’s a who, not a what.”
“You still stuck on that Grady O’Malley guy?”
“I saw him again yesterday and…”
“Saw! Like a date? You know he has a girlfriend, right?”
“Not a date.”
“Oh, so he was here at the hospital?”
“No. I made a home visit.”
Jess’ mouth dropped open. “You were inside his house? I want to hear all about it.”
“I shouldn’t have even said that much but my anxiety is running high.”
Jess put down her latte and rubbed Cassidy’s back. “Did he say something to hurt you because if he did…”
“No, he didn’t. He barely said anything.”
“So why the anxiety?”
“I have to go back again today.”
“Cass, I’m sure you don’t have anything to worry about. He seems like a nice guy from everything that I’ve read. I mean maybe a bit of a snob but not violent.”
“I’m not worried about that.” Cassidy turned away from Jess.
“Oh, Cass, I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you.” Jess leaned down and hugged her.
“Well, I can’t, and I need to leave.” Cassidy stood up.
“I can come over later if you want to talk and I’ll bring wine.”
Cassidy gave Jess a quick hug. “I love you.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Only if you make sangria with the wine.”
“I’m on it.” Jess winked.
Cassidy knocked and then anxiously waited for the door to open. “Doc Scott, come in.”
“Hello!”
“Thank you for coming here to see him. As it is, Grady won’t leave his bedroom, so I know that he’d never consent to leaving the house.”
“He hasn’t left his room?”
“Not since I’ve been here. I tried to get him to come out to eat but he won’t.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“He must have gone through hell because Grady’s never let anything get between him and his swimming.”
“Trauma can do that to a person.” Cassidy placed her hand onto her cheek, exhaled and then looked down at the tattoo on her wrist that read Breathe.
“Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.”
Weston didn’t really believe Cassidy, but he didn’t know her well enough to press the issue. “I’ll be in the kitchen cooking dinner if you need me.”
“Thank you.”
Grady heard the doorbell, so he knew that Cassidy would be knocking on his door at any moment, yet he still jumped when she knocked. “Ccc…come in.”
Cassidy opened the door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean
to startle you.”
“It’s ok. Everything seems to unnerve me these days.”
“Hopefully, I can change that.”
“No offense but I don’t think anyone can.”
Cassidy never allowed her patients to doubt themselves. It was time for her to work her magic. “Well then it’s a good thing that I’m not anyone.”
“If you say so.”
Cassidy’s anxiety took a back seat to her doctor mode. “I say so. Now, let’s get you out of here.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“Anywhere but this room.”
“But I feel safe here.”
“I know but you should feel safe in every room of your home.”
“It’s taken me a week to get from my bed to the closet and the bathroom without feeling lost.”
Cassidy took Grady’s hand. “Pick a room.”
“My game room.”
“Ok, get up.”
Grady reluctantly stood up.
Cassidy looked up at him as he towered over her. “Lead the way.”
“I don’t know which way. I told you…”
“Grady, when you come out of your bedroom which way do you go?”
“I can’t do this.” Grady turned around to go back inside his room.
“You can do this, and you will. Now turn yourself around and tell me if I should go straight down the hall or turn right?”
Grady exhaled and reached his hand out for Cassidy. “Right.”
Cassidy led them down the hall. “We made it to the living room.”
“We need to walk through and then go down the hall to the right.”
Cassidy led Grady down the hallway and stopped when she saw a room with a gigantic movie screen, leather couches and chairs, air hockey, billiards, ping pong, several arcade games and a bar. “Wow! Now I know why you call it your game room.”
Grady stood there not sure which direction to move in. “Can we just get this over with so that I can go back to my room.”
Cassidy could feel Grady’s fingers begin to fidget as she held his hand. “Do you prefer a chair or a couch?”
“Chair.”
Cassidy led Grady over to a chair and then she turned him so that he could sit. “Sit.”
“I feel like a dog being led here and now told to sit.” Grady sat and dropped his face into his hands.
Cassidy knelt and took a hold of Grady’s wrist. “Hey, look at me.”
Grady lifted his head. “Why? It’s not like I can see you.”
“You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“How would you feel if your whole world changed overnight?”
“Grady…”
“Don’t preach to me how things will get better, that my sight will come back, that everything will be ok because you have no idea what I’m going through…NONE!”
Five minutes of silence passed before Cassidy finally decided that she needed to give Grady hope so that he could move forward. “I have been where you are, Grady. I may not have been blind, but I felt hopeless and wanted to die.”
Grady looked toward Cassidy’s voice. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not looking for sympathy. I told you that because I want you to know that with trust and determination you can get back what you lost.”
“I think it’s too late for Rylan.”
“Weston told me that she walked out on you. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame her after…”
“Grady, you can’t blame yourself for your condition.”
“I meant what happened between us. I hurt her.”
“You hurt her?”
Grady nodded. “I hit her.”
Cassidy stared at Grady. He didn’t look like the violent type. Hearing him say that he hit his girlfriend made her feel uneasy, but she knew that she was there to help him and not judge him. “What makes you think that she left because you hit her?”
“Wouldn’t you leave if your boyfriend hit you?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine. What was different this time?”
“This time?”
“Yes. Most people in abusive relationships…”
“Abusive relationships! No! No! I never hit her before, I swear! I’m not like that.”
Cassidy felt relief wash over her. “What happened then?”
“We were in bed…you know, and everything was going ok until she let out a moan and it threw me back to the crash. I raised up my hand to make her stop and I hit her in the face, and she went crazy. I tried to apologize but she called me a loser and said that I was weak and pathetic.”
“Maybe once she calms down, she will forgive you?”
“Why should she? I am weak and pathetic.”
“Enough of that weak and pathetic crap! If that was true you wouldn’t have countless medals and awards. You managed to save yourself because you are a strong person, and that strength will get you through this too.”
“Where was my strength when I swallowed all those pills?”
“Grady, we all have weak moments, but we can’t let them define us.”
“But I wanted to die. I gave up. It was more than a weak moment.”
“What made you give up?”
“Fear.”
“Fear of being alone because your girlfriend left you?”
“No.” Grady looked away.
Cassidy placed her hand onto Grady’s leg. “You can tell me, Grady, what is it?”
“The darkness…it’s consuming me.”
“When you’re competing, and someone is gaining on you, what do you do?”
“I swim harder.”
“Ok, so Grady, you need to fight harder.”
“How?”
“You don’t give in to the darkness.”
“But…”
“No, buts. I’m going to get you through this.”
“I’m tired. Can you bring me back to my room?”
Cassidy hated seeing him give up. She’d let it go this time but next session she was prepared to push him further.
8
Weston knocked on Grady’s door. “Hey, I need to talk to you.”
“Come in.”
“Coach Harvey said that if I don’t get back soon that…”
“West, you need to go.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“I’ll be ok.”
“Yeah, who is going to take care of you?”
“Before I left the hospital my doctor offered to set me up with a nurse.”
“Are you going to be comfortable with a stranger?”
“West, you need to get back.”
Weston dropped down next to Grady. “You have always been there for me and I just don’t feel right leaving you this way.”
Grady knew that he had to be brave for his buddy. “I want you to go for me. Besides maybe I can get the nurse to help me in the shower.” Grady forced himself to let out a laugh.
Weston turned and hugged Grady. “I’ll wait until you have things straightened out and then I will go but only if you promise to call me if you want me to come home.”
“I promise.”
“I’m going to call Coach Harvey and let him know I will join them in Chicago as soon as I can.”
Weston hadn’t even left, and Grady could already feel his anxiety rising.
“So, what’s new with your golden boy?”
“Nothing. In fact, I’m not so sure that I can help him.”
Jess put down her coffee cup. “Oh, Honey, don’t doubt yourself.”
“Jess, I’ve had eight sessions with him and so far, he hasn’t made any progress.”
“Don’t give up on him.”
“I don’t want to but what if I’m doing him a disservice?”
“How could that even be? I know how much you care about him. Do you honestly think that any other doctor would care about him as much as you do?”
&n
bsp; Cassidy grinned. “No, but then why can’t I help him for Christ’s sake?”
“I’m no doctor but…if he has this disorder thing because he can’t deal with the crash then don’t you think that maybe eight sessions seem a bit too short of a time to have a breakthrough?”
“Ok, maybe you’re right.”
Jess took a sip of her coffee. “I always am.”
Cassidy shook her head and smiled. “Yes, you are…about ten percent of the time.” Cassidy laughed.
Weston called Grady’s doctor and spoke to him about hiring a nurse to stay with Grady, but he still felt unsettled leaving Grady with a stranger.
“Weston, hey, I hope it’s ok that I let myself in?”
“I gave you a key so that you could.”
“How’s he doing today?”
“Same.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
Cassidy sat down. “Do you think that Grady trusts me?”
“I do.” Weston looked at Cassidy and suddenly it was like a light went off. “In fact, I have an idea.”
“An idea?”
“I have to head out of town for a while to join our team.”
“But Grady can’t be left alone.”
“I know and that’s why…”
“Oh no.” Cassidy shook her head.
“Please! I know that he won’t be comfortable with some strange nurse.”
“I’m a doctor not a nurse.”
“Cassidy, he trusts you.”
“Have you discussed this with Grady?”
“Not yet but I’m sure he’d be more than willing to have you move in.”
“Move in!” Cassidy’s heart was pounding at the thought of living in Grady’s house.
“Yes, at least until his family is back next month from their cruise.”
“I have other patients…”
“Maybe you could get someone to cover or we could get a nurse to come in for a few hours a day while you’re at work?”
“Weston…”
“Please. If it’s about the money I will pay you triple what you make per hour.”
“It isn’t about the money.” Cassidy placed her hand onto her cheek and looked down at the floor. She wanted to say yes but she was so afraid of the hurt she’d feel when it was time for her to walk away.
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