“Do you really want to watch Jurassic Park?” he asks.
I shake my head, already breathing heavier.
Fireworks sparkle across his eyes. “Are you sure? Because we can.”
“No, let them all be dinosaur kibble.” Serves them right.
He smiles, and the room brightens as he climbs up on the bed, straddling me between his thick thighs. Our foreheads connect and his breath tickles against my face a second before we kiss.
It’s slow and sweet but promises so much more. More than I’m willing to look for right now. More that I’m willing to hope. Something sad in the back of my brain reminds me that it’s also more than he’s willing to give.
But for right now, that’s okay and I’m willing to let things play out as they will, even if this turns out to be a quick dalliance between two consenting adults. If my heart breaks never to heal the day after he leaves, it’ll be worth it for the passion-filled moments of right now.
At least that’s what I tell myself.
10
Staring into his eyes hoping and wishing for more to happen makes me feel like a wanton hussy, but I don’t even care.
“You’re never gonna watch this movie if you keep looking at me like that,” Graham says against a smile as his body slips closer to mine.
My skin prickles. Sometimes he looks at me as if he can see right through to my core. It’s intense and more than anything I’ve felt with another person at any point in my life. It’s one of those soul-filling looks when I worry about letting this chance pass me by.
How can it have happened so quickly? How can I feel it so deeply?
“I said I wanted to watch the movie?” My fingers squeeze in between his pants and skin until he pops the button giving me more space.
Graham’s eyes narrow. “I distinctly remember you telling me you enjoyed this movie and couldn’t wait to see it tonight.”
“You must have me confused with somebody else because given the option it’s never the movie.” Not that I plan to admit it, but when I said I wanted the movie, I didn’t realize what else we had on the table. There will always be another night for Jurassic Park but there might not always be more time to spend with Graham.
My heart aches at the thought.
I lick my lips, my eyes searching out permission for a question I haven’t asked. He doesn’t object, so while cupping his quickly hardening shaft, I move my body lower.
His velvety smooth skin lingers against my lips until I open, taking him into my mouth. My tongue searches out his tip and laps away as if he’s my own personal lollipop until I take him deeper. Graham moans, fisting the sheets to his side as his legs flex. He’s holding back from jamming himself deeper down my throat.
“Shit, Tara, unless you want more of me than you probably bargained for, we need to stop.”
I don’t. My lips fall on him deeper, taking as much as I can without choking, and Graham caresses the back of my head with his fingers twisted in my hair. The next groan is louder than the first, the sound causing my ears and blood to perk up. There’s nothing as exciting as making a man lose control of himself — especially one like Graham.
He pulls on my hair, trying to draw my head up, but I refuse. The quick bite on my scalp when he pulls my hair is not enough either. It only spurs me on more.
“No, I want to be inside you.” He tugs a final time and I relent, letting him pull himself away from the heat of my mouth.
I pout as he fumbles for something beside the bed and then turns back in my direction. A foil wrapper tears and he quickly covers himself with the condom.
“You’re going to need a lot fewer clothes on for what comes next,” he rasps taking off his own shirt.
But I’m not done pouting. “I thought you would take them off me,” I say trying to be a serious but probably coming off as an annoyed teenager. I’ll take it.
He laughs, shaking his head and letting me know the outcome I wanted wasn’t reached. “I’ll watch you take them off.”
Something in my stomach squeezes and sends a jolt to my core. “Me?”
Graham leans back stretching his arms behind his head as he lounges on the pillow against the headboard of the king-sized bed.
A dinosaur roars in the background as I fumble with the hem of my shirt, slowly pulling it up to expose my black lace bra. Graham coughs, something almost like a choke, which I take as a good sign. His hand traces a line underneath my bra cup.
“You’re so delicate.”
“I’m not delicate,” I return a little annoyed.
He smirks leaning further against the headboard. “You are and I can’t decide if that makes me want to cherish you and keep you safe or risk breaking you by dirtying you up.”
I only get the innuendos of what his words mean, but it’s enough. After removing my pants, I unclasp my bra, freeing my breasts to the room. Graham sucks in a breath and then pulls me on top of him.
Callous fingertips settle on my thighs as I rest with his hard cock between my legs. I lean forward, my palms on his chest, and share a kiss making us both moan when our bodies jerk against one another. There’s only the two of us in the world and nothing else matters.
I want to rush, but at the same time I ache to take things slowly. To get to know his body more. In the past I’ve been shy around new people, but the way his eyes search out mine and swim against my skin as he looks at me like I’m the best gift he’s ever received helps me to lose my apprehensions.
Why does it feel like our ever-impending deadline is here knocking on the door? He hasn’t said when he’s leaving, but he’s made it known he’s not staying in Pelican Bay. And even though I worry when I’m sixty and I look back at this moment of my life, I’ll regret not jumping into the side of his truck and following him to the West Coast, I know deep down inside there’s no way I can. I’m not ready to leave this place. Something in Pelican Bay continues to tell me that it’s not time for me to go yet.
Even though I’m not ready to leave, it doesn’t mean I’m happy about knowing he’s not ready to stay. I worry my heart will be the one to feel the consequences of my actions when the day comes and we part.
“I love when you stare at me like that, but your pussy is so hot I’m liable to fill up this condom right here pretty damn soon.”
Right.
Sex.
Sex with the incredibly hot man.
Sex with the incredibly hot man I’m straddling.
Get on it, Tara.
I adjust, pushing myself up on my knees and aligning our two bodies. My skin stretches as his tip enters and then slowly I take him deeper and deeper until he’s covered in me completely.
A moment passes, allowing me to adjust as Graham holds my thighs tightly. “Ride me, babe.”
His words spur me into action and he sits up, settling us chest to chest. My nipples harden against his naked skin. I use his shoulders for leverage as the pace picks up and becomes more of a jerk than a bob.
The tingle in my insides grows deeper as a big ball settles into my nerves waiting to explode. I clench, holding him tightly and never wanting to let him go. A finger tweaks my clit, rubbing circles where our bodies come together, and my fingers bite into his shoulders as I arch back. My mouth opens into a silent scream when the release washes over me.
My body struggles to stay upright and to keep going until Graham picks up my slack. His strong hands guide me on top of him. His eyes close, his head falls back, and he jerks in my body filling the condom with his seed.
When he stills, our breathing is deep and heavy, and my head connects with his shoulder. Rather than roll me to the side, he wraps his arms around my back, pulling me tighter while still inside my body. He holds me for countless minutes. The movie plays in the room and outside the window birds chirp in the early evening, but the two of us don’t move. We’re lost in each other. His lips linger against my skin placing small kisses on my shoulder and up my neck.
This will hurt oh so much when it’s time for
him to leave and for me to stay.
11
I swear I can smell him. My body tingles as he gets close and the air around the check-in desk thickens. There’s an excitement that wasn’t there seconds before and then, as expected, Graham turns the corner of the long hallway from his room and smiles in my direction.
Something about his happy look brings it out for me as well. I swear, I try to contain my expression. I tell my body to lock it down. That hussy doesn’t care. I’m smiling like a crazy person by the time he stops in front of me.
“Tara,” he says before leaning over and kissing me slowly smack dab on the lips right in front of the lobby.
I laugh and pull back, overwhelmed with emotion. Has a man ever kissed me in public like that? It’s a little sinful. And I love every minute of it.
He’s the same he’s been in our most recent nights together—tight-fitted jeans and a long sleeve thermal shirt—but tonight he has a thick jacket unzipped. There’s only twenty minutes until my shift ends, and if we’re following the same routine as we have, it means I’ll hand my paperwork to Dwight and then check out for the evening before making my way to his room where we pretend we’re going to watch a movie but don’t get past the opening credits.
“The same time, same place?” I ask, hopeful this small jacket-wearing departure from his normal evening isn’t going to derail my plans of getting some.
Graham’s face falls and so does my stomach. “I have to work a little late tonight.” He jiggles the edge of his jacket, thinking I didn’t notice even though I notice everything about him. “But I want you to use my key and let yourself into my room.”
My hand cradles the plastic room key he places in it without hesitation. Technically, I don’t need a key to get into his space, but I don’t mention that, choosing not to remind him about that fateful night he caught Cammie and me breaking and entering.
“What time do you think you’ll be back?” I’ve grown so used to spending my nights with Graham that I really don’t know what I’ll do with myself. What did I do before I started getting it regularly? And why does it all of a sudden feel like a break-up? Obviously, I’m crazy. I’ve haven’t gone insane. I’ll survive one night alone. Probably.
I’m sure I’ll find something to do. Like eat three or four ice cream cones from the kitchen.
“I’m not sure how long it’ll take, but I promise to come right back here. It could be late so dress comfy,” he whispers leaning across the desk. His eyes stop at the cleavage of my dress and I push my boobs together solely for his benefit.
“What is it you do, spy boy?” I ask trying to help myself forget the fact he’s off doing something I don’t know in the dark of the night.
But I’m still not a crazy woman. He can save the world. As long as nothing bad ever happens to him and nothing scary. Definitely no dangerous situations.
Graham smiles. “Oh, you know, just another night saving the world. I’ll bring back a cookie if the bakery is open, but only if you are waiting for me when I get here.”
He did not need to bribe me, but I am not one to turn down a cookie. Damn the carbs. I’m screwed lately, anyway. “A pink one?”
“Of course. Only the best for my girl.”
My heart explodes with the words, like a firework in my chest, but thank God it all comes back together and reassembles so my blood can keep beating. I don’t need to die from an exploded chest cavity here on the bed-and-breakfast floor. Forget when the last time a guy kissed me in public was, what about the last time someone called me his girl? It’s never happened, in case you were wondering. This would be a “mark in your calendar” date to remember.
By the time I’ve recovered and breathe normally again, I catch Graham checking the chunky silver watch he wears, scowling down on it and kissing me again. “Promise you’ll be waiting?”
“I promise.”
“Even if I’m really late.”
Now he’s practically begging me to stay in his room. I won’t survive this man. “As long as you promise to wake me up.”
He kisses me again on the nose. “Only if you don’t look adorable.”
I finally blush. I’ve been so proud of myself for holding it together even with the heart explosions and the cookie offers, but the mention of me sleeping does me in. It was too much to contain. One woman alone can’t do it. Not only have I been spending my evenings in his room, most my mornings as well. That’s what happens when you fall asleep wrapped up in someone’s arms. Of course, it also means I recently learned I may snore — slightly and not loudly — when I fall into a deep sleep. I’m horrified, but Graham has promised it’s cute.
With one last kiss he walks out of the bed-and-breakfast front doors, leaving me to lean on my elbows watching him leave. There is a small tinge of sadness, but something more beautiful sits in my soul watching and waiting for him to come back. Hopefulness. That is the thing I’ve experienced the most the last week and a half. I’ve dated before, but it’s always been a lighthearted thing. I was happy to go on a date, and on occasion I met a nice guy, but I also was okay if it was only one date or two. Never before have I had such a strong hope in my chest for what’s coming. Not only that he brings me back that pink cookie from Anessa’s bakery, but we’ll do it again tomorrow and then the night past that and the night after that one. I’m hoping for a bunch of nights with Graham spooning me into a peaceful – snore-filled – night’s rest.
But it’s not only the feel of his skin rubbed against mine but also the hours we spend lounging together talking before one of us — usually me — falls asleep. He’s perfect. Loves dark chocolate, dogs, and even reads fantasy novels. All things I completely approve of. The pieces that make up Graham keep bringing me back. Every time he gets close my stomach goes a little topsy-turvy and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. He’s big and hard in all the right places, but with me it’s like getting to know the whole inner core of a person.
I know that whatever Graham does for Ridge Jefferson can’t be as simple as installing security alarms, but it’s hard to picture him as the big bad not-a-spy when I’m wrapped up in his arms. There are clues. The long-term military service, the contract to work for Pelican Bay’s security firm — the same security firm that everyone whispers about behind closed doors. I may not be a Pelican Bay native, but I hear the rumors. There’s a lot more going on with Ridge’s security firm than installing fancy and expensive alarms.
No one knows exactly what those guys do and now I’m wrapped up in one of his contractors. I’m not sure I want to find out. My anxiety probably couldn’t handle knowing what Graham’s out there doing right now. Or why he won’t be back until late. No one I know has a security alarm installed after seven and you definitely don’t need a highly trained Navy SEAL to screw it in the wall.
But if what I’m starting to suspect is true, eventually I’ll have to find out what keeps Graham traveling all over the country. It’s going to become important because the more time we spend together the more I believe he’s the one.
And that is scary as hell.
Someone whistles from behind and I twist around to Cammie standing in an open doorway. “Girl, you got it bad.”
A deep sigh escapes from my lips as I lean my head on my hands and rest my elbows on the desk. “I know.”
I mean I’m letting the man bring me home pink-covered carbs. My whole life has flipped on an axis. I haven’t even had time to make new year’s resolutions yet. I normally have a list by now.
“Wow,” Cammie says, standing beside me and staring as if I’m a mutant. “You know it’s even worse when you admit it.”
“What can I do, Cammie?” I ask throwing my hands up in the air. Eventually he is going to leave, or he’s going to be forced to stay, and either of those options sound horrible. Fifty years down the road one of us will be a spiteful spouse full of resentments. If we make it to the altar. No one should have to compromise who they are and what they want for someone else. Should they?
> Cammie shrugs not offering any helpful advice right out of the gate.
“He’ll be leaving soon.” In reality I don’t know when he’s leaving. It’s not something we talk about. Instead, it’s a looming date at some point in the future. It could happen tomorrow or three months from now. I hope he at least gives me a warning, even if it will make it worse knowing that our time is drawing to a close.
“You pack a bag and then screw that man wherever he takes you. It would be constant vacation sex.”
“It’s not that easy, Cammie.” I worked hard to go to college and get my degree and I wanted to get this job so badly.
“Why not?” she asks as if it would be easy for her to throw all her belongings into a bag and pick up and leave everything she has here in Pelican Bay.
She pats me on the shoulder and slides to the other side. “You’ll figure out. I have faith in you.”
The lobby area grows quiet as Cammie leaves for the night, and I’m left to wait out the remainder of my shift alone. I wish I could be as optimistic as she is, believing it would be simple to pack up and go, but what would I do if we didn’t work out? What if he leaves me on the side of the road at some crappy motel outside of Vegas? How would I find a new job?
But then what if everything did work out? We rode off into the sunset and everything was fine? A whole life of us together being happy. What if I let him go and I never find another man who makes me feel as happy?
I’ve never felt it before so why would I believe I could find it again if I so carelessly throw “the one” away this time? What if Graham is the love of my life and I’m about to throw it all away?
I’m not an overly romantic person and I’ve never jumped on the soulmate love train before, but right now I’m having the thought often. For the first time in my life I think I’m in love.
On the other hand, what if our connection fades? A little voice in the back my mind asks only to be squashed out by another from my heart that says “but what if it doesn’t?”
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 294
