“You do that,” Graham yells at his retreating back. “Local cops.”
“Should you be antagonizing a detective?”
Graham shakes his head smiling. “He’s just pissy because Ridge has solved more crime in the city than he has this last year.”
A shiver racks my body and I step sideways using him as a windbreak.
“Let’s get you inside.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me into the back door of the bed-and-breakfast.
Getting away from the lights and sirens in the parking lot is a needed escape, but I still see the flashing lights from the dining room where Graham deposits me before getting an ice cream cone from the kitchen.
14
The cold outside matches the temperature of the blood running through my veins even though I’m still wearing Graham’s coat and we’ve been inside the Pelican Bay police station for over an hour. Detective Anderson from last night asked every question under the sun involving Dwight and working at the bed-and-breakfast. My whole life was laid before everyone.
I’ve been less than helpful. Not because I’m still in shock — which I am — or because I have any loyalties, but I had no idea. Sure, Dwight was a bit strange, but I never thought he could be a drug kingpin of Pelican Bay. I never saw that coming. Who would?
A shiver racks my body and Graham pulls me in close, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.
“I promise we’re almost done here,” the detective says, scratching a few of my last words on a piece of paper in front of him. “Is there anything else you can think of before we finish?”
I shake my head with a double shrug. “I’m sorry.”
“Cammie never said anything to you or gave you any indication something illegal was happening at the bed-and-breakfast?”
He’s asked a lot of questions about Cammie. “Cammie doesn’t even like Dwight. She thinks he’s weird.”
No sooner have I said her name but I catch sight of someone resembling her being led into the police station from the corner of my eye. Except when I turned and twist, getting a better look, it’s not a person resembling Cammie. It’s Cammie. She’s led in by another police officer with her hands handcuffed behind her back and her head held low.
As she walks past our eyes connect and even though she doesn’t speak any words, there’s a slew of emotions held behind them. She sniffles and raises a shoulder to her ear before the officer jerks on her arm and pulls her in the other direction.
“Why is Cammie in handcuffs?” What have they done to my friend?
The detective turns around, scowling at his fellow officer. “I’m not allowed to discuss facts of the case, but it appears there’s more than one bed-and-breakfast employee in on the distribution operation. We’re still sorting out the details.”
Cammie? Working with Dwight to sell drugs? It doesn’t make sense. Why would she do that? And why at the bed-and-breakfast, the place where she works? The town staple? Anger and disgust form a big black pit in my belly, sticky and hard, that catches on all the surfaces. I’ve been in Pelican Bay six months, just as long as she’s been at the bed-and-breakfast and I didn’t know these people.
How did so many things get past me? How didn’t I see any of the signs? What are the signs? Has anyone written a book on what to look for if you suspect your best friend is dealing drugs through your hotel? How did I allow all this to happen under my watch?
I’m betrayed and hurt and sad but most of all confused. Was everything during my time with the bed-and-breakfast lie? Is Pelican Bay?
“I think you upset her enough for tonight. Don’t you think, Anderson?” Graham stands but I don’t follow until he pulls on my arm a little and then it’s like a reflex to stand at his side. “You have all of my findings as well?”
The detective nods. “You were very thorough in investigating the bed-and-breakfast. We’re done for tonight but I wouldn’t go too far as I’m sure we’ll have more questions coming and of course the court dates if anyone decides not to bargain.”
“Of course,” the man I thought I was getting to know so well says. Even his voice sounds different. Odd. Was nobody in this town who they said they were? Am I a lie too?
We’re halfway down the police building steps before I realize we’re out in the cold again. Graham bundles me up in his truck, turning the heat on full blast even though I don’t notice it. Our drive to the bed-and-breakfast is short and quiet.
“I know you have a lot of questions and I’m going to answer every single one of them for you tonight.”
His truck idles in the parking lot. “Did you lie to me?” I ask, not bothering to unbuckle my seatbelt.
The big blue and white building I once found so comforting and familiar — something straight out of a Hallmark movie — now looms dark and sinister. As if I never really knew the building in the first place. Maybe I didn’t. Graham asked me once about how well you can ever know your coworkers and he was right. I didn’t know them at all. And now I suspect I don’t know him either.
Graham grabs my hand but I pull away. There’s heartbreak in his eyes, but anger in mine. “No. I promise, Tara. I’ve never lied to you.”
“But you were here spying on the bed-and-breakfast?”
He nods. “Let me take you inside and I will explain everything.”
I hesitate. I feel used and hurt. Was everyone nice because they needed to keep me in the dark? How much did he use me to find out more information about what was happening the bed-and-breakfast? Is that the only reason he was ever nice to me? Is that the reason Cammie became my friend? Both sides have played me for a fool, and I was too dumb to see.
“I don’t want to go in there.” The building and snow-covered porch are the last places I feel safe tonight.
A gust of wind batters the truck window. “Please let me explain. Don’t leave me out here alone.”
I shake my head. It’s not that I don’t want to go with him. It’s that I don’t want to go in at all. “It’s not you. It’s the building.”
A slip of a smile cracks his face and he grunts a short chuckle. “That is probably the first time anyone has heard that one.”
Somehow, I managed to grin as well even if it quickly fades. Damn him for almost making me laugh. How dare he?
“Go inside with me and I promise I won’t leave you for the night. Unless you tell me to and then I’ll drive you anywhere else you want to go.”
My eyes search out his. “Promise?”
He nods, and I agree. But it takes Graham getting out of the truck and opening my door before I finally budge. I walk quickly into the bed-and-breakfast and down the long hallway that leads to his room. I don’t want to be anywhere near the area I’ve slept the last few months. The place it was too close to so many bad things. His room at least has happy memories.
Once in the room Graham kicks off his shoes and sits on the bed, but I take a seat the small table and chair on the opposite corner. I’m no longer at ease in my favorite place.
With a deep breath he begins his story. “I did come to Pelican Bay to help out my friend Ridge. He’s gathered quite the reputation in town and he wanted somebody people weren’t familiar with to work this job.”
“Everyone knew you were working for him.” For an undercover spy he was horrible at hiding his identity.
“That part didn’t matter. I needed a reason to be here. He needed somebody with a reasonable explanation for a long stay. He was tracking the bed-and-breakfast for months but had been unable to find any concrete information. My job was to poke around when no one was looking.”
Of all the information I’ve learned tonight — from Dwight running a drug business and my friend Cammie being somehow involved — Graham’s lies hurt the worst. I want to lash out at someone or something. Preferably him. I thought we had something special. We were building a relationship, but the only thing Graham cared about was building a case.
“So, you pretended to like me because you needed information about the bed-and-
breakfast?”
He scoots closer on the bed, throwing his legs over the side to get as near me as possible without touching. “No. I will fully admit you were a possible subject, just like everybody at the bed-and-breakfast. For exactly two minutes. If you and Cammie had looked at the USB drive, you would have found files of every employee. Only a few of you weren’t immediately cleared as innocent.”
“Like Cammie?” Even saying the words hurts.
He nods. “I’m sure the police will find out the full story, if they get a confession out of her, but it looks as if rather than leaving mints on pillows, she was leaving bags of hash after cleaning certain rooms.”
“Did Cammie know you were here for her?” She certainly didn’t steer me away from him, but maybe that was an act too. Who knows anymore?
He thinks about the answer for a moment. “I don’t think so, but when I saw the two of you in my room, I definitely panicked. I know you have to be upset about this whole situation, but I do think Cammie is a girl who got messed up with the wrong people. She has nothing in her past record. Not even a parking ticket.”
I unzip my coat from the unbearable heat and wrap a piece of my shirt around my finger. “Why would she do it?”
“Everyone’s reasons are different, Tara, but it looks like she needed the money. She has a sick brother and every month she’s been depositing five thousand dollars into her mother’s bank account.”
So, Cammie was delivering drugs to support a sick brother? It’s not right, but maybe it’s not as painful as I imagined. What will happen to her brother now?
What will happen to me now? I can’t continue working here. Not at the place where I’ll constantly see Dwight lurking behind every corner or where I allowed a group of people to haul a ton of drugs in and out of Maine literally underneath my bed. What a failure.
I wipe away a tear quickly, but Graham sees, and no longer stays on the bed. He picks me up in his strong arms and caresses my back, placing me on the pillow and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “I’m so sorry for the part that I played. But I promise I never meant to hurt you, and everything I said between the two of us is absolutely the truth.”
I nod my head and then shake it. Just call me a bag of mixed-up emotions. I’m angry and hurt and don’t want to believe him because it’s too convenient. But on the other hand, for some reason I trust Graham. He never once asked for information about the bed-and-breakfast or Cammie or Dwight. He never pressed. He never used me to get things for him. The only information I shared with him was our nights together.
He laughs, and it draws my attention from my own internal thoughts. “I’m sorry. This is not the time for laughter but I thought of the cheesiest thing ever to say.”
“Say it,” I coax, my tears flowing.
He shakes his head. “I’m way too manly.”
Manly or not, he’s had some big emotions the last few days, and I’m curious enough I want to know. “You can trust me.”
“I know,” he says squeezing tightly. “It’s after midnight now, which means it’s Christmas Eve and I can’t help but wonder if you are my gift this year. I’ve been alone for so long. I never thought I’d find someone I wanted to share my life with, but here you are. I’m so worried I’ve done something that will ruin it. Tell me what to do to make this better and I’ll make sure it gets done.”
“Just hold me.”
He does, but eventually the conversation starts again. “I’ve never wanted to stay in one place too long, but as I get older, I thought more about it from time to time. Then I met you and the thought of having to leave now is ripping me apart inside. I’ve had enough evidence on Dwight to go the police for days, but I didn’t want to because you’d know the truth. But now knowing he touched you because I waited will eat me up inside. I don’t deserve you, Tara. I’ve tried so hard to be a good person and do the right thing, but I was selfish and you paid the price.”
My finger traces the stubble on his chin. “This is not your fault.”
“I let you down. I’ll never let that happen again. If you want to stay in Pelican Bay, I want to be in Pelican Bay. Please just tell me I haven’t ruined my chance? Promise you’ll let me stay here and win you back?”
Words that a few hours earlier I’d have loved to hear. A commitment from someone I was falling for quickly. Now, they don’t have the same pleasant taste. Rather it’s a bitter cookie.
Locked away in this room I haven’t felt as nervous as I expected, but what happens when I walk back out to the hallway? This place isn’t what I hoped or dreamed. The whole town isn’t what I expected. There are secrets hidden under these streets. The stories of drug runs, killings, and bombings that I brushed off months before come rushing back. How naïve I’ve been.
My choices are limited. I choose to spend my life in an old building that no longer brings me joy or take a risk and spend time with someone I think I’m falling in love with.
With new confidence I shake my head, and Graham misunderstands. His shoulders falling, he pulls away. “I don’t want to stay here. I can’t stay here.”
Graham places a soft kiss on my temple. “We’ll go anywhere you want. As long as I have you, I’ll be happy.”
I smile. Such wonderful words to hear on such a horrible evening, even if it is Christmas Eve. “What will I do while you travel around and catch bad guys?”
“You could do whatever you wanted.”
Even though I don’t want to work here at the bed-and-breakfast any longer I still love working in the industry. Meeting new people and hearing their stories. But how would that work if I was some place and he was traveling around all the time? We’d never see each other.
“How do you feel about San Francisco?”
I shrug. “It’s okay.” I was raised in Southern California, and we only made it up there once when I was a child, but besides the outrageous housing, I haven’t heard much about it. Tourism is big there, which means there’s lots of hotels and places to work.
“Ridge opened up a second branch in the city. One of the guys who used to work here is running the location. They’re trying to get more guys. I turned it down before but I can take it now. I know the spot hasn’t filled. Right now, they’re providing security for some of the rich and famous, but they want to expand into other services. There're tons of room for growth.”
“But you don’t want to settle down.”
“No, Tara I didn’t want to settle down alone. Getting to do so with you while taking on a brand-new company is the kind of excitement I’m looking for.”
“Excitement? You would be installing security alarms. Wouldn’t you?”
He laughs. “Only on Mondays.”
I have no idea what that means, but I don’t care. Trying something new with Graham in San Francisco sounds a lot better than anything here. We’ll have a chance to get to know one another and have a new start to a real relationship. Far, far away from the disaster my life’s become in Pelican Bay.
“Will you go and start a life with me on the opposite coast?”
I smile. I guess I’m going back to California. “Yes.”
One year later
Graham
* * *
A breeze picks up on the street and blows Tara’s hair behind her. Jasper, our Labrador puppy — who isn’t so much a puppy anymore — tugs at the leash headed home.
“He would not make it in Maine,” I say watching the sixty-pound dog tug at Tara’s hand. Any time the temperature falls below forty we cut our walks shorts, but living in the city is hard and he needs exercise. Across the bay the lights of San Francisco twinkle.
How much has changed in one simple year? Tara and I moved to California so I could work at the new branch in San Francisco, but rather than live in the overpriced city, we decided to stay in another overpriced city, Sausalito. Jasper came a few months later. At this time of night most people have cleared the streets as the temperature falls, but a few of the art galleries that drew Tara to this piece o
f land over the bridge are still open.
Going back to work at a hotel was something Tara wasn’t ready to do yet, but after we settled in and unpacked all the boxes, she landed a position at a high-class spa a mile from our new home. I ran background checks on all the employees to help me feel safe, and everyone passed with flying colors. If anyone is moving illegal drugs, they’re so good I’ll never find out.
We may have moved from one coast to another, but the weather patterns are different. It never got crazy cold in Pelican Bay, but it’s even warmer off the Pacific. Rather than being cut across my skin with winds, tonight’s breeze just requires a basic jacket. I no longer have to double up my layers. Moving here was the right choice.
“Do you want to pick up some takeout before we go home?” I ask still watching as Tara gets tugged around by Jasper. Blind determination makes her be the one to walk him rather than letting me lead. It’s cute. She can lead us outside the bedroom all she wants.
She nods, getting close to our favorite bakery at the end of the street
Cammie eventually pleaded guilty to distribution of marijuana above the legal limit and operating without a license, but Dwight refuses to accept his part of the process. We’ll probably have to go back for a trial soon and I worry what that will do to Tara. She’s adjusted so well here. We both have. Even if the court trial is short, it could bring back a rush of memories.
We don’t talk much about what happens during the day at my work here, but we both know I’m not installing alarms. Hudson, the man at the front line in San Francisco is leading the security teams for a bunch of overpaid nerds at the Raven Digital Arts building in San Francisco. I’ve been tasked with our new clients. Crime is everywhere, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it, but I plan to protect Tara from as much as possible.
The temperature drops another few degrees on our walk and I’m ready to get them both someplace warm, but first I have a stop to make. There is no bell above the door in this bakery, but it’s still filled with smiling faces. The owner, Sarah, and I have been on a first name basis for months. Every Friday like clockwork I bring four cupcakes home to get us through the weekend. There’s nothing else quite like her homemade buttercream frosting and I love seeing the way Tara’s eyes light up when I walk in the door with a fresh batch.
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