by Trina Solet
"Why isn't he the one being excluded?" Gavin asked.
"A few reasons. His health and also because money talks. My grandfather owns the family business, irrigation equipment sales. Both of my parents work for him. They can't afford to burn that bridge. That's where I was working too before I came to work for you. I just had to get away from my grandfather and his ranting and insults. Couldn't take it any more," Miles said miserably. Gavin put an arm around him and Miles felt his strong fingers squeezed his arm. It was comforting but it also made his heart beat faster.
"Didn't your parents do anything about the way he was treating you?" Gavin wanted to know.
"He saved the worst of it for when they weren't around. It's just as well. They can't afford to piss him off by sticking up for me anyway. There is too much at stake. My grandfather said that when he's ready to retire, he's going to sign over the business to my parents. I don't want to put them in an impossible situation. My mom and dad met working for my grandfather. They gave half their lives to the family business, counting on that promise that the company would be theirs one day. I couldn't stand it if I made them lose everything they worked so hard for." Miles sighed. "To make it easier on myself, I like to think of everyone else as hostages to my grandfather. But that's not really true. They had a choice and they made it. They chose my grandfather and the family business over me. But the way they see it, it's my choice. They invited me and I'm the one boycotting family events to avoid my grandfather."
"Sorry. The silver lining is we get you all to ourselves," Gavin said and pulled him close. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you need to talk."
Miles looked into his kind, blue eyes then let his head drop to Gavin's shoulder. "Thank you," Miles told him in a whisper.
He let himself rest against him, falling into Gavin's arms as they locked around him. Melting into his embrace, Miles sighed. With the reassuring pressure of Gavin's strong arms around him, he could never feel alone. Breathing in his scent and letting his warmth suffuse him, he held on to Gavin as long as he dared. He couldn't get enough of him.
Chapter 15
This was going to be the first Sunday morning that Gavin wouldn't be making his special breakfast for Benji. He had been invited to breakfast and a playdate by two friends from kindergarten, twins Jackie and Joe. The twins' moms had sent Gavin the menu. They were making whole wheat waffles with fresh fruit and whipped yogurt.
"What if you like their breakfast more than mine?" Gavin asked Benji as he drove him over to their house.
Benji shook his head. "I promise I won't," he reassured his dad's fragile ego.
They pulled up in front of the house and Gavin felt a pang of envy. The house wasn't impressive or anything, but it had a nice, big back yard. There was a tree in the back. It looked big enough to support a swing. He could picture him and Benji living in that house, spending summer days in the back yard, Gavin lounging around with a book, Benji running around with a dog he would get him. And as long as he was using his imagination to build his perfect life, why not move Miles in there too.
Actually he had trouble picturing a guy like him in a suburban setting. As he helped Benji out of his car seat and reminded him to be a good guest, Gavin kept wondering what Miles really wanted. On his drive to the bookstore alone with his thoughts, his misgivings came back to him. Did he rush into this, or maybe both of them did? Did Miles just miss his family and that's why he latched onto them?
If Miles needed him, Gavin would do anything for him, but that didn't mean they had to become a couple. The rational part of him was telling him to take a step back, or half a step, or at least put on the brakes until he was sure that they wanted the same thing. He could call Miles and they could talk about it. Or he could call him and ask him to come over to the bookstore. Or ask him to come to his place where they could be alone and no talking would get done because they would be all over each other in seconds.
As he stopped at a red light, Gavin slumped over the steering wheel. The rational part of his mind might be telling him to cool it, but when he was with Miles, he didn't know how to push him away. He was too taken with him, attracted like never before. Miles was so brash and fearless, stepping up to the edge with no fear while Gavin hung back, afraid of everything he felt for him. Every taste he had of Miles only made him want more. From each little moment something bigger threatened to bloom, and then there would be no turning back.
Settling back in his car seat as he parked in front of the bookstore, Gavin sighed. What was Miles doing to him? The same thing he did to him before, but he didn't dare admit it to himself back them when Miles was younger and an employee. With those barriers down, Miles was now barreling past all the feeble defenses that remained.
With his mind fighting his body and his heart, Gavin walked into the bookstore well before it was time to open. If he kept himself busy, he could keep the wheels from spinning pointlessly. He wasn't getting anywhere trying to untangle his heartstrings from around Miles' finger anyway. Maybe the next time he saw Miles, he would find a way to pull back a little.
Sooner than he expected, Gavin got a chance to test his resolve. While he was reorganizing some shelves, he noticed a familiar figure lingering outside the door of the bookstore. Seeing the closed sign, Miles peered in uncertainly, but he couldn't make out Gavin where he was standing in the shadow of the aisle.
Gavin didn't have to show himself. He could pretend he didn't see Miles either and just let him move on. That was an interesting idea, but his legs were already taking him to the door. Gavin unlocked it and watched Miles' face light up as soon as he laid eyes on him.
"You're visiting early. We aren't even open yet," Gavin said as he let him in.
"I stopped by just on the off chance you were here already. I was going to grab some breakfast while I waited for you to open, but I guess my gamble paid off," Miles said and beamed at him.
"Does that mean you're starving?" Gavin wondered.
"No. I grabbed a coffee and a skinny little slice of toast, but I wouldn't consider that breakfast. Coming here was my priority. I remembered that Sunday mornings were slow, so I thought it was a good time to drop by and get a dose of you. But I expected a dose of Benji too," Miles said when he didn't see him.
"He has a playdate. I'll be picking him up in a few hours when Meredith comes by to relieve me."
"That means we're alone," Miles said and eyed Gavin intently.
"And I was planning to use the alone time productively," Gavin said to try and cool things down a little.
"Me too," Miles said. He gave him a flirtatious smile then followed Gavin to the back of the store. "Should we continue where we left off the last time I was here?"
"I have a few things I need to do," Gavin said and rolled his chair back so he could sit down at his computer. Sitting down with a sigh, he jumped when he felt Miles' hands on his shoulders. "I don't need a massage."
"Who in hell refuses a free massage?" Miles asked and kept rubbing his shoulders.
"Someone who suspects the masseur of ulterior motives," Gavin told him. But as Miles kneaded the muscles at the base of his neck, he groaned.
"Guilty," Miles admitted. "My ulterior motive is the same as always – I want to get into your good graces."
"Letting me work might do the trick," Gavin said but he still leaned back and rested his head against Miles' middle. He couldn't seem to help himself. He craved more contact. With effort he snapped out of it and pulled away, rolling his chair forward. Breathing deep and clenching his fists, Gavin tried to shut down his need for Miles.
"Sorry," Miles said, noticing the change of mood. "You seemed a little tense. But now you seem even more tense. I guess that's my fault. I didn't mean to bug you."
"Don't worry about it. I'm just busy," Gavin lied without raising his eyes to look at Miles who now stood to one side of him. In Gavin's peripheral vision, he was only an indistinct shape. It was better that way. If he didn't face him and see him clearly, it would be easier
to send him away.
Looking to the side rather than at Miles, Gavin saw Benji grinning at him from a photo on his desk, a reminder of what was at stake. Keep that little boy happy at all costs, he told himself. Before now, Gavin didn't find it hard to deny himself, but that was only because he never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Miles.
Finding just enough strength inside him to tell Miles he wouldn't have any time for him today, Gavin turned toward him. Then he stopped. Miles looked so resigned, waiting there with sad eyes, but composed, like he was always ready for the ax to fall.
Gavin's breath hitched in his throat and the words died on his lips. He swallowed down what he was about to say and came out with a bland excuse. "There are a few things I like to do first thing. You're not bothering me."
One forlorn glance and Gavin broke down. Now Miles' expression turned slightly more hopeful but still cautious. "Something is bothering you. If it's not me..."
"It's us," Gavin confessed. "You bailed on me once. This time the stakes are so much higher."
Miles bristled at the accusation. "Leaving a job is one thing. Leaving you and Benji is... It's..." he stammered then recovered himself. "It's unthinkable."
"It is for me too," Gavin told him. "I mean, I'm so used to you now."
"Used to me?" Miles asked, indignant.
Gavin couldn't deny that it was more than that. "OK. Maybe not just used to you." But he couldn't forget his fears. "It's not only me any more. If you should turn tail and run..."
Miles shook his head as he interrupted. "That's funny. My biggest fear is that you are going to dump me. The last thing on my mind is running off when I finally have a chance with you. I'm going to hold on for dear life."
Gavin only stared at him. Why did those words mean so much to him? Whenever Miles spoke from his heart, the words touched him, made him want to enfold him in his arms.
"Aha, you like the sound of that," Miles accused him, his brown-eyed gaze mischievous. "You can't hide that twinkle in your eyes."
"My eyes don't twinkle," Gavin said, and stood up to try and hide his embarrassment.
"True. They smolder," Miles said in all seriousness then got in his way as he attempted to create some distance between them.
As Miles pressed himself against him, Gavin tried not to think of him sitting on top of him with Gavin's cock deep inside him. Miles was flushed, rising slowly off his hips, both of them moaning at the dragging sensation... No, he had to stop that. Gavin took a shuddering breath. What he wouldn't give to have him right now. Anything. And Miles was right there, ready to give himself. Gavin was the one standing in his own way.
Composing himself with visible effort, Gavin got ready to set some ground rules. "OK. This is what's going to happen. I'm going to go lock the door," Gavin said and took a key from his pocket and tossed it to Miles. "You dig around in the bottom drawer of my desk. Be right back."
Miles looked at the key he had caught in his hand and then followed Gavin with his eyes. Once he was gone, Gavin pictured him going over to the desk. From out in front, Gavin heard him unlock the drawer just as he turned the lock on the front door of the store. Miles must have been rummaging around until he had condoms and a bottle of lube in his hand. Then he might have heard Gavin's footsteps coming closer.
When Gavin stood in the doorway to the back of the store, Miles turned. Closing in on him, Gavin eyed him like Miles was his prey, but it was Miles who pounced and tackled Gavin to the couch.
They barely stayed on it as they kissed and groped with violent urgency. Kissing and grinding, they struggled to get each other's jeans undone. Miles managed to unzip Gavin's fly, get his hand inside somehow and grab hold of his cock. While he pumped it with his fist, Miles demanded, "You have to fuck me right now."
"This couch is too small. I'm not a damn contortionist, Miles," Gavin protested.
"But I fantasized about doing it right here," Miles breathed.
"Really?"
"Yes. I've been dreaming about this since the day I met you."
Hearing that, how could Gavin deny him? "OK, but one of us better be a contortionist," Gavin said while breathing hard and unbuttoning Miles' jeans. He took his boxers down to free his cock. He did the same to his own. Leaning down, he took Miles in his mouth and sucked. At the same time he hurriedly pulled the jeans and boxers off Miles' ass. Pulling off his beautiful cock, Gavin took hold of his legs and lifted them up.
"I guess we'll find out how flexible I am," Miles panted as his legs got folded into his chest.
Miles' legs propped up on his shoulders, Gavin traced a path to his hole with two lubed fingers. His fingers pushing in set off a string of curses and then a long deep moan from Miles. A few more thrusts and Gavin could tell that Miles wouldn't be able take anther second of fingering.
Miles confirmed it. "Stop it or else," he gasped, his voice coming out harsh between gritted teeth.
Gavin stopped and moved up his body. He came to lean over Miles and leered down at him. As Gavin lowered himself to rest against him, he let him feel the solid weight of his body on top of him. Just that made Miles moan. Miles clutched at him, but Gavin needed him even closer. He needed to be deep inside him.
A hard kiss, the condom rolled on, he positioned himself as best he could on the small couch. Blood rushed in his ears as he drove his cock into an impossibly tight heat. Wracked with shuddering breaths as he was penetrated, Miles looked up into his eyes. A slow determined shove ended with Gavin deep inside him and Miles arching his back, hanging on to Gavin's rock hard thighs and whimpering. Gavin paused and let Miles' body pulse around him.
Gavin loved the tight fit of his cock inside him. He couldn't get enough and he started thrusting. There was no denying that he took pleasure in knowing he was the only one who had ever fucked Miles. Now he was losing himself in his eyes and he had to kiss those parted lips. Though it wasn't easy, he leaned down to kiss him. The move broke his rhythm and he stopped. Miles looked mad and kind of desperate.
"Let's try something else," Gavin told him as he got off him. "Turn over."
Gavin didn't wait for him to gather his wits or get himself under control. Hurriedly he helped Miles to his feet. After a kiss, he turned him around and guided him into position, head down ass up, one knee on the couch to open him up. To the sound of Miles moaning, he drove his cock back inside him with deliberate slowness.
"Fuck," Miles gasped as Gavin filled him up again with a grunt.
Gavin felt Miles' legs buckled under him. His whole body was shaking even before Gavin started pounding him in earnest, plunging deep and hard while picking up speed all the time. Ferocious in his passion, Gavin was pumping in and out of him with all his power, losing himself in Miles.
Muscles tensing with each thrust, Gavin worked his body relentlessly until he couldn't take any more. Every cell in his entire being screamed for release. Pounding his way to an incredible orgasm, he felt Miles body constrict around him. He was coming and taking Gavin with him too. Like a bolt of lightning, an intense orgasm shot through him.
That's when Miles almost collapsed to the couch streaked with his come and Gavin caught him. "What have you done to me?" Gavin growled in his ear.
Miles leaned his back into his chest and told him, "Right back at you. That was insanely good."
Gavin kissed his neck then realized they had to clean up. He was coming to his senses but not completely. He would never be entirely sane again. As he stood by the cleaned up couch and stared off into space, Gavin felt strong fingers entwine with his and Miles came to stand in front of him. Gavin brought him close, inches apart then closer until their foreheads touched. Slowly their faces tilted up and their mouths joined in a soft kiss.
"I'm either going insane or falling in love with you," he told Miles as soon as their mouths parted.
"Yes! I win!" Miles said and did a fist pump.
"This is your reaction?"
"No. This is," Miles told him and wrapped himself around him for a thorough kis
s. "I'm so crazy about you and I'm all in," he vowed after he let Gavin breathe.
Gavin smiled. "I guess I was hoping to hear that. I might be afraid, but I want you to stick around more than anything."
Once Miles left, Gavin opened the store and tried to act like a responsible adult. He had been so overcome. The force of his own desire proved to be too much for him. His need for Miles was almost painful. And he just had him. If sex didn't satisfy his need, what the hell would? Even though his body might be satisfied, the rest of him still wanted Miles insanely, desperately, more than he wanted anyone ever before.
Chapter 16
When he first bought the bookstore, Gavin got to enjoy a lot of peaceful hours, especially in the mornings. He didn't miss those days at all. Now he had a lot more customers, especially so close to the holidays. And Miles dropped by whenever he got the chance. But even on the days when he knew Miles was busy, Gavin still looked toward the door eagerly, hoping that he might somehow find the time to visit.
How eagerly he waited for Miles, the way he couldn't help glancing at the door every time it chimed, it was embarrassing. Once again Gavin turned to the door at the sound of the chime and saw Bruce standing there.
"I bet you were hoping for someone else to drop in on you," Bruce accused him.
Gavin didn't bother pretending he didn't know who he was talking about. "He's at work."
"I'm happy for you even if you are leaving me to be single all by myself. But you weren't even dating for a while there, so I don't begrudge you this stroke of luck," Bruce said while he idly looked over a few books then came to lean by the register.
"There may have been a dry spell," Gavin admitted grudgingly.
"So what happened to him being too young?" Bruce asked.
"He is a little older now, and I guess he must be worth the risk, because I've already taken things too far to sweep this thing under the rug," Gavin confessed. "Any day now I'll be telling Benji that Miles and I are boyfriends." He hardly dared to say the word.
