by Trina Solet
"Be careful not to drop them," Gavin said.
"They won't break. They are plastic," Benji said like plastic was a very special thing.
"I see. That's good and you did a great job. We'll hang these on our tree." They had bought a small tree, but hadn't decorated it yet. Gavin wanted to invite Miles to join them for the occasion.
"And another one," Benji said. He went back to rummage in his book bag and brought out one more ornament. This one had Miles' name written crookedly in silver sparkly letters on another red ornament. Benji held it up proudly then asked. "Is that right? It says Miles."
"Yes. It's very nice."
"Ms Johnson wrote it on a paper and then I did it on the ornament," Benji said proudly.
"Miles will like it a lot," Gavin said as he watched Benji set aside the ornaments with great care.
"Miles and I are friends, but it's OK if you're friends with us too, Dad," Benji told him.
"That's big of you, son."
"It is big of me," Benji agreed though he didn't know exactly what it meant only that he liked the sound of it.
"Miles and I are different kind of friends," Gavin said. Though Benji knew they dated, Gavin wasn't sure he understood what that meant. "We're boyfriends."
Benji only blinked at him behind his glasses. Gavin was hoping that would be the magic word that explained it all, and now he was at a loss for what to say next. "Do you know what that means?"
"It's kissing and stuff?" Benji said uncertainly.
"Right. That's right," Gavin said, relieved. "And I was thinking that we might ask Miles to come home with us and help us decorate the tree. What do you think of that?"
Benji beamed at Gavin and nodded. "Today? Today?" he said and started bouncing in place.
"Yes, today," Gavin told him and ruffled his hair, which Benji smoothed down immediately.
Miles came by after work and after texting a warning to Gavin. "I'm bringing my mom's cookies. Get ready to put down a riot." When he arrived, he came through the door lugging a heavy-looking shopping bag.
"Miles!" Benji squealed happily even before he knew what he had in the bag he was carrying.
Gavin motioned for Miles to stash his bag behind the counter so Benji could go first with what he brought from kindergarten. "Let's show him what you made," Gavin said to him.
Benji went and got all three ornaments. To show off his handiwork, he lined them up on the kids' table next to each other.
Seeing his name on one of them, Miles got teary eyed. "You made this for me?" he asked Benji.
"Yes. Don't worry. It won't break," Benji assured him. "And you can keep it."
"You are one great kid. Thank you so much," Miles told him.
"If you want, we can hang it on our tree with these two," Gavin offered. "It would be a shame to separate them."
Miles looked surprised and touched. "That would be really nice. Thank you," he said sounding a little choked up. He cleared his throat and spoke more cheerfully as he looked at all three ornaments together. "That way my ornament will be in good company." He gave both Benji and Gavin a hug.
That's when Benji pulled on Gavin's sleeve.
Gavin took the hint. "Benji and I wanted to know if you would like to come over today and help us decorate our tree?"
"You guys," Miles said, touched all over again. "I would love that. Thank you."
Benji was happy with his answer and wanted to go right now. To distract him, Miles had Benji tell him all about the painstaking work of making his ornament masterpieces. There were many twists and turns, and ups and downs to the saga, as well as glue and glitter.
"Benjamin, not Benji?" Miles said. "You could have saved yourself some work."
"At kindergarten, I'm Benjamin," Benji said gravely.
"That's a good name too," Miles told him.
"Do you have another name?" Benji wanted to know.
"No. Just Miles."
"Dad has another name."
Miles had a guess about what it might be. "Is it Gavin?"
"Yes."
"That reminds me of something," Miles said. "When I was little, another kid asked me what my dad's name was. I told her my dad's name was Dad, but I couldn't convince her. She said, 'He has to have another name. What does your mommy call him?' I told her, 'Mom calls him honey.'"
"Honey?" Benji said like he wasn't a hundred percent sure that Honey wasn't actually his father's name.
"OK. Now there are two kids who believe my father's name is Honey Cantone. I'm going to leave it at that," Miles said smugly and mimed a mic drop. "Now do you want to see what I got?"
Benji nodded and Miles went to get the bag he had stashed behind the counter. "They're here! Christmas cookies have arrived!" he announced. He pulled out three big tins, set them on the kids' table and opened them up to show all the different cookies that were packed in there.
"So many!" Benji said, his eyes going wide at all the red and green sprinkles, the chocolate drizzle, coconut flakes, the powdered sugar, the butterscotch stripes. Just one look and Benji had gone into a sugar trance.
Miles smiled, but Gavin could tell that he was trying not to get sad. Going over to stand next to him, Gavin rubbed his back. He felt Miles' arm go around his waist as they watched Benji looking into one cookie tin then another.
The cookies were a constant temptation to Benji even after they went home and started decorating the tree. Since it wasn't very big, it didn’t take them long to make it festive. They stepped back and looked proudly at it all lit up and decorated. It twinkled against the backdrop of the city at night as seen through the window. The best part was the three ornaments with their names on them hanging there together.
"That's the best tree ever," Miles decided, saying what Gavin had been thinking.
Chapter 20
Miles had taken tons of pictures of the tree decorating. Benji would be grinning from ear to ear in one picture then looking serious as he considered the perfect placement for some special ornament. They didn't get more special than the three he decorated with their names. Looking at the three ornaments together still made Miles all choked up.
Benji was now in bed, and Miles was in the kitchen with Gavin. Dinner clean up was almost finished. Putting away the last of the dinner dishes, Gavin eyed the three cookie tins, which were stacked on the kitchen counter.
"Did you have to bring all three of them?" he asked Miles offhandedly. He was worried about how he was going to deny them to Benji. Thinking about it more seriously, Gavin stopped what he was doing and kissed Miles lightly, consolingly. "You brought them over here because they make you sad," Gavin guessed correctly.
"A little bit," Miles admitted. The cookie tins were filled to the brim with home-baked cookies his mom made. Many of them were golden oldies from his childhood, while some were new. His mom liked to keep things interesting while not abandoning the old favorites. Miles remembered how he used to be the main taste tester when his mom was trying out new cookies. He always needed to try just one more to make sure he liked them, but in the end he gave them a thumbs up without fail.
Thinking back to moments like that was jarring to him. Was that really the same Mom who was making excuses for the way his grandfather treated him? It couldn't be. That disconnect was why he was keeping the cookie tins here and not at his place.
"They make me think of all the Christmases with my family when things weren't so... strained," Miles explained while Gavin encircled him with his arms and kissed his face sweetly. "In some ways things are better than they used to be, but that's mostly because I don't live at home, and I stay away from my grandfather when I visit my parents. But I can't avoid him during the holidays."
Gavin sighed and looked at Miles sympathetically. "I'm tempted to tell you to force the issue and make them stand up to your grandfather. I want to, but I understand why you want to keep the ties you have even if they are frayed. I know what it's like not to have a family. In all honestly, I can't recommend it."
Miles
hugged him tightly and then tried to banish sadness and regret from his own heart. "It's the best thing for everyone. I won't set off my grandfather, and he won't set me off either. No one needs that kind of holiday scene. Yes, it was hard for Thanksgiving, picturing everyone together and not being there. I could practically taste Mom's homemade cranberry sauce. But I got through it, and I'll get through Christmas too," he said confidently.
"Not alone you won't. You're spending Christmas with me and Benji," Gavin told him and took his hand to lead him to the couch.
Miles smiled at him as they sat down. "That didn't sound very much like a question," he noted.
"It wasn't. But you could consider it an invitation. One that you are not allowed to refuse," Gavin stated firmly and leaned his forehead against Miles'.
"I don't remember you being this bossy when you were my boss," Miles said and tilted his face up for a kiss. "And what are your plans for Christmas?" he asked Gavin.
"Benji and I are invited for dinner at a friends' house and I want you to join us. It will be just Joanna and Dave, and the three of us, plus their dog, Rosie.
And just in case he was thinking of refusing, Gavin pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of Benji hugging a big black lab. "When you show me that picture, how can I refuse?" Miles asked.
"Exactly what I was hoping for," Gavin said. "But I was thinking beyond Christmas. You'll be out of school and out of work, so we can do something."
"Stay in bed all day, every day?" Miles proposed while wiggling his eyebrows.
"Not quite. Check this out," Gavin said and showed him another picture on his phone. Miles saw a snowy scene with a big house and fir trees. "It's a bed and breakfast. It's owned by some friends of mine."
"All I see is snow," Miles said.
"That's how it is up there right now. They have two vacancies at the B&B. We can go up there a few days for the snow and be back here for New Year's," Gavin told him and eyed him expectantly.
Miles put on a skeptical look. "I don't know. A bed and breakfast isn't really my speed." He said with a shrug and an exaggerated sigh. "You'll need to talk me into it. Bribe me. Coerce me."
"So that's a yes," Gavin concluded. "I'll text them to save us those two rooms."
"You are such a bully. And Benji will get to build a snowman," Miles said while Gavin texted to reserve the rooms. He noticed that he didn't waste any time. "You really don't want to lose those rooms, huh."
"The only reason they are up for grabs is because of a last minute cancellation. It's a lucky break. We would go on Christmas Eve. Our first stop is dinner at Joanna and Dave's. Because of the state of the roads, we should stay there overnight then go on to the B&B on Christmas morning."
"But for New Year's we have to be here for the fireworks, right?" Miles asked.
"Right. Benji wouldn't forgive us if he missed them. But he's going to love the snow too," Gavin said. Done with texting he was showing Miles more pictures.
The place looked rustic, and Miles noticed that all the rooms had fireplaces. "Fireplaces are cool, but there is central heating, I hope."
"Of course there is," Gavin assured him.
"Then I'm all for fireplaces. We can roast marshmallows. Put a couple of bags on your shopping list," Miles said.
"I'll put one bag."
"Don't be stingy," Miles admonished him and Gavin kissed him to shut him up.
Chapter 21
Miles was a little nervous about the plans for Christmas and the following week. He would be meeting a whole bunch of Gavin's friends and he wasn't sure if he could make a half-decent impression. The day after he agreed to go, Gavin told him what happened when he talked to Benji about it.
"For Christmas we are going to see Joanna and Dave and Rosie. And after that we'll stray with Allan and Ron, and you get to play in the snow," Gavin had told him.
Benji was thrilled by this plan, but then he asked, "What about Miles?"
"I don't know. I guess we have to leave him behind," Gavin said.
"No, no," Benji said then according to Gavin, he shook his head hard enough to dislodge his glasses.
"What do you think we should do about him?" Gavin asked while Benji pushed his glasses back into place.
"Bring him," that sweet boy said.
"We can do that. OK," Gavin told him.
He kind of felt guilty for teasing Benji like that, and he chalked it up to Miles' bad influence. It still made Miles smile. Benji was such a good kid.
Miles bragged about that to Candice when he went over to her place to drop off her gift. She looked at him like he was crazy. "Your whole life is so weird and crazy right now," she told him.
"You mean because it's so normal. And speaking of things that are not normal. What is this?" he asked her as he peered at a very odd looking ornament.
"A zombie Santa ornament, obviously," Candice told him. "I find that it perfectly embodies the spirit of the season."
"Twisted. Where did you find this monstrosity? I need the exact location so I can keep this disturbing concept from Benji's innocent eyes," Miles told her.
"Oh, my God. You sound like a parent or something," Candice said with distaste.
"Me?"
"Yes. Protecting a child from ugly reality is classic parental wrongheadedness," she said.
"Did I just hear you say... reality? A zombie Santa ornament is what we were talking about, you know," Miles pointed out.
"You know what I mean. You're turning into a dad," Candice told him.
She said it with undisguised horror, but Miles grinned at her accusation. These days that was something he was working toward. He just hoped that Gavin might see him that way too.
On Christmas Eve, they were meeting at the Bookworm around midmorning. Gavin wanted to take care of a few last minute things for work before he let Meredith mind the store. According to him, even if they hit bad weather, they would be fine as long as they were on the road by noon. So far the weather was gloomy.
Holiday decorations did offer Miles a burst of cheer here and there as he walked to the bookstore on a gray, dreary midmorning. Murky clouds were moving across the sky, carrying with them the threat of rain that would make the day even more miserable. He was hoping they would drive right out of this mess once they got going.
"Wow, it's ugly out there," Miles said to Gavin as he went into the bookstore. "But it's sexy in here." He leaned across the counter and gave Gavin a kiss hello.
Ugly weather or not, Benji was packed and raring to go. He had his book bag on his shoulders and couldn't be convinced to take it off. To keep him occupied and out of Gavin's hair, Miles had him help put a few things in the car. But as soon as they were done, Benji was back to trying to rush Gavin to get going already.
"Meredith and her mom and daughter will be here soon to take over, then we can set off," Gavin said. He told Miles more about who would be minding the store. "Meredith's daughter is visiting from college. She wants to earn a little money so she'll help out too."
"They're here!" Benji exclaimed, seeing them out the store windows.
"Three generations are here to see us off, wow," Miles said when Meredith, her daughter and her mother came in, and he got introduced to them. There was white haired Lucille, Meredith with her red hair in a bob, and her daughter with her long, dark, mahogany red hair. They all waved to them as they got into the car.
The trunk was full of wrapped gifts they were going to open at Joanna and Dave's, and they were ready to head out as soon as Benji was secured.
Taking his seat, Miles turned around to face Benji as he got buckled into his car seat. "The first one to see snow wins. So keep your eyeballs peeled."
"Peeled?" Benji said, confused.
"Keep a sharp lookout for snow," Miles told him.
"I will!" Benji said.
"I think he was going to do that anyway," Gavin said as he got in the driver's seat.
"We're going to see Rosie! She's a good dog," Benji said. He had so much to be excited abou
t on this trip.
Gavin was in a good mood too. That's why Miles tried not to let his case of nerves show. He probably didn't have any reason to stress so much. After all meeting Bruce didn't kill him. He was just worried that if his friends didn't like him, Gavin would start to have misgivings again.
"Oh, no, I forgot to pack the cookies my mom sent me," Miles said once they got on the highway.
"Whaaa! Let's go back. Let's go back," Benji said in alarm. Good thing he wasn't at the wheel, or they would be skidding into a sharp turn and heading right back where they came from.
"I was kidding. I have them right here," Miles said and raised a shopping bag with two of the cookie tins stacked inside it.
Benji glared at him briefly for his little joke then asked, "Can we have some now?"
"We're going to share them with Joanna and Dave," Gavin told him. "We don't want to take them a half empty tin."
"OK," Benji agreed but his eyes still shone brightly at the thought of all those cookies.
As they drove well out of town, they were met with clear skies and sunshine glinting off puddles. That meant a rainstorm must have passed through. So far they hadn't encountered any show yet. To Benji's disappointment, it was like that all the way to Joanna and Dave's house. At least their house was all decked out for Christmas with plenty of lights on the outside though it wasn't fully dark yet. An impressive tree was visible through the front window.
They had only just parked in their driveway when a dog ran out the front door to greet them. Joanna and Dave waited on the porch and rushed them to come in so they could all get out of the cold. Their house smelled good and looked festive. It was furnished in a neat, minimalist style, which was buried under a ton of Christmas decorations at the moment. If the decorations were more traditional and less weirdly whimsical, Miles would have been even more painfully nostalgic. But the house was decked out in The Nightmare Before Christmas style rather than with his mom's more traditional Christmas tchotchkes.
