by Kaia Knight
After checking that Gabriel was still asleep, she carefully slid her hand between her thighs to ease her longing. Her eyes fluttered shut as she began to gently rub in small, circular movements, trying not to disturb Gabriel’s arm. The feeling of his length pressed up against her and the deep, demanding ache for his touch overwhelmed her. It’s been way too long.
Kailani’s breath came in small huffs, and she bit down on her lip to keep quiet. Her daydreaming was interrupted as Gabriel began to stir with a groan. His arm, still slung across her waist, suddenly began to move, tracing down her arm until his fingers met hers. Kailani felt his lips against her shoulder as he smiled. “Are you touching yourself?” he murmured, his voice rough.
“No!” Kailani protested quickly, retracting her hand and balling it in a fist. Heat rose to her cheeks as shame flooded her.
“That blush says otherwise,” he said, propping himself up on his elbow as he leaned against her. “If you woke me up earlier, I could’ve given you a hand.” He sleepily grinned at his play on words, desire glinting in his deep blue eyes.
Another wave of embarrassment crashed through her. She wanted to slink away and hide, but she could not look away when he pulled the blanket off himself and stretched languidly. Kailani’s eyes grazed down the taut muscles of his chest and abs, lingering on the enormous bulge that strained against his dark briefs. Oh…wow. Kailani tore her eyes away from him, searching for a witty remark that never came.
He sank back into the pillow, his right hand continuing to trace patterns on her hip. She shivered as he brushed the back of his fingers down over her stomach, and out of reflex she pushed back, grinding against him.
His breath hitched, and suddenly everything was ignited—the heat of his lips against her neck, his warm hands sliding up her shirt. He swung a leg over her hips and shifted his weight so he gently laid on top of her. Her lips parted as she searched his face. She reached up and entwined her fingers in his hair.
Pulling him towards her, she whispered, “Gabriel.”
All resistance gone, he leaned in to finally bring his lips to hers but froze at an urgent knock on the door.
Kailani looked at Gabriel in alarm. He put a finger to her mouth and cocked his head to the side, waiting.
Another knock came, followed by a soft voice. “Hey Gabe? It’s Chantall! Wanna grab breakfast?”
He swore quietly, his body slumping against Kailani’s. “Uh—I’m just waking up,” he called, “You go on without me, I’ll meet you in the dining room.”
“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind waiting.”
He rolled away from Kailani, taking his warmth with him. “No, uh...okay. Just give me a minute, then. I’ll be right out.”
Kailani scrambled out of bed, beelining for her bag. She snuck into the bathroom, quietly shutting the door. As she stood, holding her breath, she heard Gabriel rummaging around, stumbling as he pulled his clothes on.
Kailani heard Chantall say something through the door, but she could not make out the words.
“Yep, I’m getting changed, so I can’t let you in,” Gabriel responded.
Kailani smiled smugly at the annoyance that colored his tone. Jeez girl, take the hint! But as the main door opened and shut with a loud click and their muffled voices trailed away, her smile faded. She imagined Chantall hanging on his arm, and them sharing breakfast together for everyone to see. No sneaking around behind closed doors. A sour feeling settled in her stomach as she stood on the cold tiled floor, alone.
Shaking her head, she shoved her uneasiness aside and pulled on her warm-up joggers and hoodie. She studied herself in the mirror for longer than usual, pulling her hair in a topknot and wishing she had make-up with her. Ugh, what do I care? It would just wash off in the water anyways. Tiptoeing towards the door, she looked out the peephole and ducked out of the room towards the smell of waffles and cinnamon that wafted down the hall.
Kailani punched her fist on the stall door and bit down on the mounting anger. Are you kidding me? She reached down, tugging on the swimsuit but could not pull it over her thighs. She struggled for a few moments more, shimmying, kicking a leg out to the side and squatting, but it was no use. She sank onto the bench, dropping her head in her hands. Maybe this was their plan all along, either I streak or I don’t swim.
“Kai?” A voice echoed in the locker room. “Are you in here?”
Kailani dropped her hands from her face, trying to place the voice. “Samantha?”
“Thank God!” A shuffle of sandaled feet approached the row of changing stalls, her manicured toes peeking under the door. “Your first event is up soon, and Coach Steve is looking for you.”
Kailani reached for the bathing suit straps once more, muttering curses as she tugged.
“Kai, what are you doing in there?”
“Trying to get this damn suit on!” Kailani huffed. “It’s stuck around my thighs.”
“Bitches,” Samantha muttered darkly. “Let me in, I can help. Quick!”
Kailani hesitated, looking down at her exposed body. Well, this can’t get any worse, so why not. She unlatched the stall door, ushering Samantha in. She resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest.
Samantha stood in her bathing suit, her fiery curls in a crazed tangle around her face. Quickly looking Kailani up and down, she grabbed Kailani by the elbow and tugged her towards the shower in the back of the stall. “C’mere.”
“Samantha, what —?”
“Just trust me.” She cranked the shower on, reaching for the soap dispenser with the heel of her hand, pushing it vigorously until a mountain of foam grew. She turned and wiped it across the bathing suit stretched around Kailani’s thighs. Samantha laughed nervously. “Uh, I’ll let you do the honor of rubbing that in…if you reach under the suit so your skin is soapy, we can try tugging it up.”
Kailani got to work, taking the foam that Samantha continued to pass her, working it around her thighs and hips. This might be the most ridiculous thing that’s happened to me. A giggle burst out of her. “You know, this is every guy’s locker room fantasy, right?”
Samantha laughed as she pulled up at the straps. “These tech suits have no stretch, mine is the right size and I still get a workout putting it on. Can you tell I’ve done this before?”
The grip of anxiety eased as they finally got the suit over Kailani’s hips. With a painful snap, she worked the straps over her shoulders and sighed in relief.
“Quick, let’s go!” Samantha cried, turning to sidestep puddles as they ran through the locker room.
Kailani burst into the natatorium, looking up at the scoreboard to see the current event – the third heat of the 100 freestyle. She was up next. She ran towards her lane across the pool as she tugged her swim cap on. Standing in front of the diving block, she watched the swimmers touch the opposite wall, turning into their final lap. Kailani tried to steady her heavy breathing as adrenaline coursed through her shaking arms.
Samantha appeared by her side. “You got this, Kai! Make them pay for it,” she said, nodding towards her suit.
Kailani smiled grimly and murmured her thanks. She locked her eyes on the churning water in front of her lane as the swimmers fought to the finish. When the official blew a series of whistles, she readied herself at the block, waiting for the final whistle. This was the least prepared she had ever felt for a race, and she wished she had more time to calm down. But the long blast of the whistle came regardless, and she stepped up to the block. Kailani crouched, coiling her muscles as she trembled with anticipation.
The officiant waited for silence. “Take your mark.” The buzzer sounded.
Kailani launched herself high over the water, diving in and kicking steadily to the surface. Pulling with strong, even strokes, she sprinted into the first flip turn. She kicked harder as her opponent in the lane next to her pulled further ahead. Kailani found her rhythm and surged forward, breaking free of the girl beside her in the last fifty yards. She put her head down, sped up her arm
s and gritted her teeth. She threw herself forward, touching the timing mat mounted on the wall right when the girl next to her did. Turning around to look at the board, she sighed in relief. She had barely gotten first place.
Kailani turned to the girls in the lanes on either side of her and shook their hands before climbing out of the water. Breathing hard, she headed towards the opposite side of the pool where their team sat.
Steve grabbed her shoulders and shook her with a smile on his face. “Kai! You nearly gave me a heart attack there, I thought you were going to scratch your event. Let’s try and be on time for our next race, okay? But great job, steady pace.” His head turned instinctively back towards the water, and he resumed shouting, writing down splits and cheering on one of the girls in the next event.
Kailani bit back a smile. It was clear that he was the most passionate coach on deck, fully immersed in each race as he yelled and celebrated. Some of her resentment towards him softened, and she thought about how hard he had been on her the previous week. He just wants what’s best for me, that’s all. She turned towards Gabriel and Chantall who gave her high-fives.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow as he looked at Kailani. “Where were you? You missed warm-ups.”
“I…uh…” She didn’t know how to begin to explain what happened in the locker room in a way that wouldn’t result in an awkward silence.
Samantha stepped beside Kailani and fluttered her eyelashes at Gabriel. “It’s not her fault, Coach. It was that stupid bathing suit.” She looked at Kailani and gave a wry smile. “I don’t know who swapped out your swimsuit order, but they actually did you a favor. Not only do you have the most aerodynamic suit on the team now, but it makes your ass look even better than usual.”
Kailani’s jaw dropped and Gabriel’s eyes widened. He coughed, looking away. “Inappropriate, Samantha.”
“Sorry, Coach!” Samantha grinned and walked towards her fold-up chair in a circle with the team, leaving Kailani, Chantall, and Gabriel standing in uncomfortable silence.
Kailani’s cheeks grew hot and she mumbled something about getting a drink. As she went to join the team, she saw Chantall whisper to Gabriel.
Collapsing into her chair beside Samantha, she leaned towards her and hissed, “What the heck was that?”
“It’s fun to watch him squirm. Last week I got him to spit out his drink.” She sighed dramatically and continued, “But he’s always so professional, what a shame.”
Another blush crept up Kailani’s cheeks unbidden as she remembered how his hand had trailed between her legs that morning. I don’t know about that.
Kailani tugged her hoodie on and tried to take a nap before her next event. Too soon, Gabriel was shaking her shoulder. With a groan, she rose, stretching. The morning flew by as she competed in one event after another, and a bone-deep exhaustion crept in, her lingering cough worsening.
Coach Steve pulled her aside after her fourth event, looking concerned. “Hey, champ. I can see you’re getting tired, but let’s try and focus up for this last race, okay? If we get first and second place in this event, we can move on to regional champs as a team in October, which means we might get to nationals.” He squeezed her shoulder. “It’s down to you and Alyssa. Good luck!”
Kailani strolled in front of the middle lane with plenty of time to mentally prepare for the 200 butterfly. She slowly exhaled, closing her eyes as she visualized cutting through the water with powerful, dolphin-like kicks.
She shot a glance at Alyssa, wondering if she should wish her good luck, but decided against it. She was two lanes to Kailani’s left, chewing on her lip as she stared down the lane where swimmers completed their final lap of butterfly. Alyssa pulled her goggles over her cap, which abruptly snapped as the strap broke. She looked down at the broken goggles in her hands, and began to panic, looking around frantically as time ran out.
Good, you deserve it. The four whistles blew, signaling for the swimmers to get ready to step up to the blocks. Kailani stood rooted in place, watching her teammate dissolve into hysterical tears, a look of disbelief on her face as her senior season crumbled in front of her. Kailani’s flicker of doubt amplified into a wave of empathy, and before she knew what she was doing, she stepped up onto the block and called “Hey, Alyssa!”
Alyssa turned towards Kailani with a guarded expression.
“Think fast!” Kailani tossed her goggles across the blocks to her teammate, and they sailed through the air, landing in Alyssa’s outstretched hand. Alyssa stared at the goggles in her hand as if she did not know what to do with them.
As the official blew one long whistle, Kailani remained on the block while the rest of the swimmers stepped up. She watched Alyssa out of the corner of her eye, who fumbled to slip the goggles on and pressed them into place with the heel of her hand.
Kailani curled her toes over the diving block, fighting to calm herself. She felt naked with no goggles and debated whether or not she should dive in with her eyes open or closed.
The screech of the microphone interrupted her indecision. “Quiet for the start, please,” said the officiant as excited cheers echoed in the natatorium.
“Swimmers...take your mark.” BEEP.
Kailani squeezed her eyes shut as she dove, imagining the rippling water below her, and she hit the surface sooner than she expected. The sharp sting of water entered her nose, and she forcefully blew as she kicked her way to the surface. First breath. Keep your eyes closed. She heard the muffled screams and cheers each time her head emerged. She peeked with her left eye, ignoring the bite of chlorine and saw a figure in front of her. She closed her eyes as she pushed back all feelings of discomfort and let instinct take over. She knew exactly how many strokes it took to get to the opposite wall, eight kicks to the surface, repeat.
As Kailani turned into her fourth lap, she opened her eyes once more, and with a jolt, still saw figures in front of her on either side in perfect formation. Don’t let them win. She grit her teeth and pulled with all her might, surging over the water, weaving under and over the surface. Her lungs were screaming for air, but she dug deep, kicking harder.
Two more laps. Her eyes stung as she squinted them open, and once more saw a blur in the water just ahead of her. Are you kidding me? Adrenaline pulsed through her and she charged down the lane, kicking off the wall into her final lap. She heard the muffled roar of urgent screams, and she fought even harder. We must be neck and neck. Halfway through the pool, not daring to breathe, she flew through the water as her legs gasped for relief. In her last stroke, she threw herself towards the finish in a latch-ditch effort to close the gap, collapsing at the wall in a hyperventilating heap.
The room erupted into cheers and screams. Kailani blinked and wiped her eyes to ease the burning sensation. Picking her head up, she turned to her left to shake the hand of the girl next to her but was stunned to find nobody there. She quickly looked right, but the lane was empty. She grabbed the wall for support and turned around and saw the rest of the swimmers were emerging from the opposite end of the pool, finishing their final lap.
Kailani’s mouth dropped open as she craned to look at the time on the board. Six seconds off my fastest time! She laughed, watching in disbelief as the two girls from Oregon State still swam in the lanes next to her. If they’re still swimming, then who was I racing? She looked at her wide grip as she hung onto the wall. A realization made her laugh in surprise. It was so blurry, I thought my own arms were my opponents.
When the rest of the field finished their race, Kailani leaned over to shake their hands as they congratulated her. Kailani shakily exited the pool and wobbled towards the coaches. Steve looked like he had just won the lottery as he pulled her in for a crushing hug. “Kailani! You just shattered your record and you just qualified for nationals! But...why the hell did you swim without goggles?”
Kailani glanced at Alyssa, who stood beside her, still shedding water, and breathing hard. “Uh—they broke.”
Steve chuckled and shook his
head. “Well, let’s just hope they break more often, because that was remarkable!”
Kailani smiled weakly, swaying in place. Suddenly, Gabriel was there, his arm wrapped around her firmly.
Steve nodded in approval at Gabriel. “Gabe, help her back to her seat and make sure she’s hydrated, please. And Kailani? Once you’ve recovered, don’t forget to stretch so you don’t cramp up.”
Kailani allowed herself to melt against Gabriel, grateful for the support and the excuse for his arm to wrap around her. They exchanged a small, secret smile at the boldness of his touch. Her stomach tightened as his hand shifted slightly, his thumb running along a ticklish spot on her side. Her knees were weak, not just from the swim, as she wobbled past coaches and officials who congratulated her and smiled at Gabriel. Too soon, Gabriel was helping her into her chair, his hands sliding away as he retrieved a drink from the team cooler and handed it to her.
“Thanks, Coach.” She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, sipping the electrolyte mix. His eyes blazed as his gaze swept her body, and he seemed to wake himself up as he shook his head, turning to interact with the rest of the team.
Kailani was chatting with Latisha and Samantha when Coach Steve’s voice rose over the din in the natatorium. He had rolled up his heat sheet and was speaking through it like a megaphone.
“Bring it in, ladies, great job today!” He ran through the times and scores of the meet, congratulating swimmers on personal bests and memorable moments, followed by rounds of applause and cheers from the team as their win buoyed their spirits. Coach Steve gestured to Kailani, “And lastly, a big congrats to Kailani for her 200 fly. Not only did she qualify for nationals...but sorry, Chantall, looks like we have a new team record!”
