“Are you nearly ready for our trip?” I ask.
He’s been so on and off about the trip since he got shot. We’ve talked about making it smaller, just getting away for a week or so, just so we can still get away. One minute, we’re full steam ahead, and the next, he’s back to worrying about Parker, and something happening while we’re gone.
“I am, and I can’t wait. I had a real long talk with Grams last night, and Rico is going to come stay here while I’m gone; just make sure everyone is good, so I can focus on my girl.”
I squeal and twist in his lap, straddling him so I can hug him.“You have no idea how happy this makes me!”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ve got a good idea,” he says suggestively, his hands circling my waist. “I can’t wait to get away with you, and get so wrapped up in you, that you don’t know if it’s night or day.”
“Oh, really?”
“You can count on it, baby.”
***
Today I graduate. I can’t believe I can finally say it. This is end of what has been almost my entire life, and then after today, I start all over again. A new direction, a new path, a new person.
I stare at myself in the mirror, my gown and cap on, feeling like I should look different. Today is huge, and I’ve worked so freaking hard for it, but I still look just like me. I do not look like an adult ready to face the world; I look kinda terrified!
“Erin!” Monica calls up. “Are you nearly ready? You’re going to be late.”
“Coming,” I momble.
I would be the first valedictorian ever to arrive late to graduation. Not like I live by the norm anyway. I grab my speech, take off the gown and cap, making sure to rehang my gown and zip up the garment bag. I run down the stairs to find Monica already in the car with the engine running. I think she’s even more excited about today than I am.
“Whoever decided our graduation ceremony would be at ten in the morning is a sadist,” I say as I climb into the passenger seat.
“Hey, if I could drag my tired butt out of bed, missy, you can too! Today is a big deal. I am so glad I could cancel my class today to be there. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” she tells me, yawning as she reverses out of the drive.
It feels like seconds before I see the school, and it hits me that this is the last time I’ll ever need to be here. I can’t say I regret that idea. This place is too full of terrible memories. Every time since that fateful day, I have never crossed the school entrance without a rise in my heartbeat, without a shadow of fear trailing me – and yet, it is here that my earliest memories of Mason were formed, and I’m not going to let Josh take that part of my life away. He destroyed so much already. It’s so strange, bittersweet.
We walk through the school, past the locker room, which I have avoided at all costs until this moment, to the football field where the ceremony is taking place. I spot Mason, with Grams, Rico and Parker, and drag Monica over to them.
“Hey there, sugar,” Grams calls out as she wraps me up in a hug. I hug her back, it’s impossible not to love her, or to not smile when she’s around; she lights up the world. She lets me go and assaults Monica with a ginormous hug, too; they’ve become close over the last few months and it fills my heart full.
“Oh sweetie,” Grams said, “There’s nothing to you; I’m going to have so much fun fattening you up when these pair are off gallivanting,” she says.
Monica chuckles but there’s something in it that causes my brows to knit together. It doesn’t sound right; it doesn’t sound like jokes. I run my eyes over Monica and realize just how thin she looks – thin and tired. I go to say something but at that moment Jamie comes bounding over, all smiles. It can wait. My little family, weird and dysfunctional as it is, is growing slowly, and the joy this brings me is insurmountable. People filter in around us, and I stand, tucked under Masons chin, taking it all in, trying to calm my encroaching nerves about delivering my speech.
“Are you ready for the rest of our lives?” He whispers into my ear, pulling me closer to him.
“I can’t wait,” I reply.
Mr. Hardman’s voice rings out, telling us it’s time to take our seats. I kiss Mason again before heading to my seat on the stage; Valedictorian privilege. My stomach is flipping but I make a conscious effort to keep the smile on my face. Privilege, my ass – I’d much rather be sitting with Mason rather than up here looking like some idiot.
I listen to Mr. Hardman talk about the accomplishments of the year, about those who have joined us, and those who are leaving with us; and then his speech pauses and I can see from the way his back ripples, that he’s literally pulling himself together before he says, “and to those who were taken from us; Ella and Eric, whose loss has been felt deeply by our community. They are with us today, as they will always be."
The whole audience is so quiet that I think they’ve even stopped breathing.
“But today is about celebrating life, and hope,” Mr. Hardman continues. “We’re here today to celebrate the amazing accomplishments of our young people and the extraordinary lives that await them. The tragic events of the past have taught us all one extraordinary lesson, life is precious, life is beautiful, life is to be lived.”
And with that, Mason stands and the whole class follow his lead, offering a respectful round of applause before settling back down. I wait as
the rest of the presentations happen, counting down until I need to stand up. I hear my name, followed by civil applause. Oh shit, I actually have to talk in front of all of these people. I stand, gown and cap on, and hope to God I can make it to the podium without tripping.
I cross my fingers, and smile a nervous smile down to my class mates, finding Mason in the crowd. He smiles at me, and the nerves inside me calm. Taking a deep breath, I pull out my speech, count to ten, and begin.
“My fellow students. We only started this journey four short years ago, but now it is time for us to leave and make our way out into the world. It seems like only yesterday, we walked through those doors, and yet, it also feels like forever ago. So many things have happened in those four short years, things that none of us will ever forget.”
I pause, swallowing down the memories that I refuse to let overshadow this moment.
“How do you measure your time at high school? In the friends you made? The loves you loved? The laughs you shared, or the tears you cried? But here we stand, at the end of it all, and I know I will measure my time here differently to each and every one of you. Though we are all undoubtedly tied by the experiences we have shared, we will go our separate ways and step out into the big wide world.
There are seven billion people in the world. Some are happy, some are running scared.”
My eyes can’t help but fall on Evan momentarily. I will never forgive him.
“Some are out there fighting for our freedoms, others lie to themselves and everyone around them just to make it through the day. Some are only just learning to face the truth. People are neither good nor evil, they can commit both good and bad acts.
Life kicks you around sometimes. It beats you down and scares the hell out of you. But then there are days when you realize you are a survivor. You are strong. You are a fighter. That you are tougher than anything that has been thrown your way. That you can do this.
One thing this school has taught me, is the need for us to forgive – and to let go of the past. It’s easy to get lost in the darkness and despair, but we need to remember that when life is at its darkest, it is easiest to see the light. Be that in the people you surround yourself with, the love you have found in another, or a new path to be forged. Life is too short to dwell on the past, or the bad blood between us.” I look at Tegan who sends me a small smile.
“Forgiveness is a gift, it opens our lives to things we may have missed. We need to not be afraid, of the future, of the mistakes we’ve made, and the ones we’re most undoubtedly going to make, because sometimes those mistakes are meant to happen, to lead us to the great
est moments of our lives.
What this past year has taught me is to live for the moment you’re living – the rest are all uncertain. We have loved and we have lost. We have laughed and we have cried, but we have all survived. Now is the time when we get to step up and say ‘I made it’.
So with that, I say, Congratulations. You survived. You’re here. We hold dear those who aren’t here with us today, we treasure their memory and carry them with us, knowing that wherever we go and whatever we do, we will always be tied together by our time here.”
I finish and step back from the podium as people stand, clap and whoop. There are tears and laughter as people remember exactly what this year has been for them. I take my seat and wait until my name is called, cheering for Mason, joining in with Rico, Parker and Grams as he gets his diploma.
I hear my name, and do my walk, blushing at how loud Mason and Monica can shout between them. Anyone would think I’d just got an Olympic gold. The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur, and once our caps are thrown, Mason seeks me out and kisses me. It’s so full of love and hope that I stagger back with the force of it – but like always, Mason’s arms are there to catch me before I fall.
“You rocked that speech, Tiger,” He whispers.
We’re stood in the middle of our classmates, all celebrating that high school is over, but it feels like he sees no one but me.
“Thank you,” I sigh as I kiss him. We’re interrupted by Scottie jumping on my back – a habit I’ve told her several times is very annoying.
“Dude! That speech was beyond epic! Slayed it! I can’t believe this is us done.”
I pull away from Mason, shaking her off and hugging her tightly.
“I know, right? Who would have thought this day would be like this.”
“Sure as hell not me, now let’s get out of here, I’m starving! We’re all heading to yours, right?”
“Of course, like Monica would have it any other way.”
Chapter Thirteen
“All things truly wicked start from innocence.”
~ Ernest Hemingway
“Are you sure you have everything?” Monica asks as she hugs me for the tenth time. It might only be seven in the morning, but she’s been fussing since last night and it’s one of the reasons I love her so much.
“I’m sure, and if I don’t, I’ll get it on the way. I’m not going to be gone forever,” I reassure her, squeezing her tight.
“Forever isn’t as long as we think, even when we think we have a lifetime,” She says, clutching my face, and kissing my cheek.
“Mason, you best take care of my girl. She’s the single most important and precious thing in my world.”
He hugs her and whispers something I can’t make out before lifting her enough to make her squeal.
“You, silly boy. I couldn’t be happier you found each other,” she tells us with tears in her eyes.
“I’ll facetime you when we reach New Orleans, okay?”
“You’d better! I hope you guys have the time of your lives. I love you both.”
“Love you too, Mon. Be good while we’re gone.”
She laughs as she swats away the tears spilling down her cheeks.
“Ha! You and your crazy. Go on now, get! Drive safe.”
“See you, Monica!” Mason says as he puts on his aviators and throws the car we hired into gear. We were going to go in his precious Camaro, but we can’t possibly put the miles on it. I roll my eyes just thinking about that conversation.
“I totally made us a road trip playlist,” I say, hooking my phone up to the Bluetooth in the car. The Real Thing by No Tomorrow starts playing. I lean back and he takes my hand.
“Are you ready for forever, Tiger?”
“Always.”
***
We arrive at our hotel in the heart of the French quarter, just off Bourbon Street, hours later and I’m just as pumped now as I was when we got in the car this morning. Mason pulls the car into a space in the lot and comes to a stop before leaning back on his chair.
“Damn it’s hot,” he exclaims, wiping his brow. His black vest shows off his toned arms beautifully; and all hot and bothered, I swear I almost want to lick him. “There’s AC here right?” He asks.
“Of course, there’s a pool, too.”
“Hmmmm,” he says with a raised eyebrow.
“Exactly,” I wink at him as I open my door and step out into the humid heat.
We’re here for a long weekend before we head to Nashville. We have a Jaded Hearts gig tonight, and this weekend just happens to be the Louisiana Cajun and Zydeco Festival, and I am beyond excited to take in everything New Orleans has to offer. The food, the music, the culture.
I jump as Mason comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. “Excited, baby?”
“I’m just so glad I’m actually here, and that I’m here with you. My life has completely changed in the last year.”
“I know what you mean,” he sighs, kissing my neck before letting me go.
“Let’s go up to the room,” I suggest. “I am dying for a shower after the long drive.”
“You want some company? Conserve water, you know.”
“I’m pretty sure I could be persuaded,” I breathe, excited and nervous all at once. Butterflies pick up in my stomach as he takes our bags from the trunk, then takes me hand, leading me inside.
After he checks us in, and turns down the pass the delightful Cami made at him while he was stood holding my hand, he leads me to the elevator and we ride the car to the top floor. The tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife. I know that, after all the months of waiting, we’re finally going to get the space and time to sleep with one another, and as exciting and delicious as that prospect is, it’s like losing my virginity all over again.
Mason seems so calm and relaxed, but his eyes are so expressive that they tell a different story. He looks at me like he’s hungry, and I’m the only thing on earth that will satisfy him. It’s a heady feeling, knowing I could bring this powerful man to his knees. The car dings, and the doors open, and I can breathe again. He steps forward, his hand still clasped around mine and I follow him down the hall and into our room.
As the door closes, he’s on me before I can blink. He slams me against the door, having dumped the bags as he crossed the threshold. He pushes against me, grinding his hips into me, knowing I can feel the bulge of his pants easily through the thin cotton of my skirt . His hands cup my ass, lifting me up and I instinctively wrap my legs around him, pushing into him, letting him know exactly how much I want him – want it. The feel of him so close to me is intoxicating. He trails his kisses down my neck, lifting my vest top up and over my head, unfastening my bra with a single hand, and I giggle against his lips unable to hide the fact that I’m a little impressed by his skill.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers. “You have no idea how insane the thought of seeing you like this has driven me.”
I blush. In all our fumbling and exploration, I’ve never been naked in front of him and the thought unnerves me. His fingers graze against my skin, leaving a trail of heat. The rush of cold air against my hot skin makes it prickle. With my top in a heap on the floor, he kisses me again, lifting me away from the door and into the bathroom. He puts me down, tearing off his vest and flicking on the shower. I watch his beautiful ass snuggly wrapped up in denim, and bite down on my lip as I watch him pop open the buttons of his jeans. Leaving them open but still on, he turns to me, stalking towards me.
I run my hands up his back before tugging down his jeans as he pulls down my skirt. Any nerves I had are leaving me; the look in Mason’s eyes tell me that he will look after me forever; that I never have to be afraid again.
I kiss his abs and trace my finger over the beautiful scar that runs down almost the whole length of his torso. It’s a sign of life: a sign of survival. He takes my ponytail in his hands and removes the band, spreading it out across my shoulders and tucking in a stray piece
of hair behind my ear.
I reach down and shimmy his boxers over his hips, relishing the feel of his solid thighs under my finger-tips, and whilst I’m distracted his slipped my panties over mine; his eyes never leaving mine. We’re stood, naked, exposed to one another, at last – there’s nothing between us. There’s just Mason and me.
“Keep the shower running,” I say, taking his hand and leading him back to the bed. “We’re only going to get hot and sweaty again,” I say laughing.
We spend the afternoon in bed. Mason has a seemingly insatiable appetite and after our first gentle round of love making, the play turns rougher and I know he’s pushing the boundaries – and there will be much more to come. He wants to please me, to make me happy, and I’ll do anything to return to the favor; all he has to do is command me and I’ll be his willing slave.
“Time for that shower baby,” he whispers before we head back to the bathroom.
He washes me down tenderly, running the soap through my hair, kissing my neck but it isn’t long before I can sense his rising desire and he bends me forward, positioning my hands against the cold tiles, whilst the water flows down over my curves and over my mouth. I’m delirious with sensation; drowning in the feel of him. This is home, him inside of me, us joined together. No end and no beginning. One being. One soul.
***
We fall through the door, laughing, after The Jaded Hearts’ gig. Who would have thought my clumsiness would benefit us? I practically fell down a flight of stairs at the Smoothie King Center so we got moved to seats closer to the stage, where I could do less damage to myself and the people around me.
“You want another drink?” Mason asks, as he pulls two bottles of soda from the mini bar in the room.
“Sure,” I smile at him.
He opens the bottles and then steps out onto the balcony. The warm breeze travels over my skin and he gestures for me to join him outside. I take a seat next to him on the bench, staring up at the few stars fighting against the city lights.
When We Fall Page 12
