Loving Laney

by Evans, Harmony

  The sound of her mother’s voice drew her from her thoughts.

  “I was hoping we could squeeze in some shopping, but we will have to go another day. Samara’s Grand Ball is only a few weeks away,” Gwen added.

  “I don’t know if I’m even going to go,” Laney admitted.

  Although the furor over her “baby bump” had died down, she still wanted to keep a low profile in Granger. Luckily, the media hadn’t learned that Austin was the father of Laney’s baby, but she wasn’t sure how long that luck was going to last.

  “But, Laney, you have to attend,” Brooke said. “The entire family will be there.”

  “I agree,” Gwen noted. “Samara is giving the ball for the people of Granger, it will reflect badly on the community as a whole if all of us are not there.”

  “And it won’t make the Browards look too good, either,” Laney added with a smirk.

  “Laney, you know I don’t cater to the whims of people’s opinions,” her mother scolded. “However, I do believe that sometimes it’s better to bend than to be broken. No one knows why Samara is buying land here, and why other people are playing copycat, but we’re not going to find out the answers by avoiding her,” Gwen reasoned.

  “So are you saying we should treat this event as a fact-finding mission?” Laney asked, only half joking.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Brooke said, surprising her. “You never know what we’ll find out.”

  “Or what Samara will reveal,” Gwen added. “I think that she will use the Ball to announce something big. Maybe she’s going to make a movie here!”

  Laney nodded and watched as the two women got in the car and drove away.

  Her mother was right, of course. Attending the ball was the courteous thing to do. But Gwen, and even Brooke, failed to understand one simple fact—having Laney in public, alone and pregnant at a huge social gathering, only invited more questions. Questions she wasn’t quite ready to answer.

  * * *

  Austin drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. Other than telling him that his brand-new one-hundred-thousand-dollar Range Rover truck was “nice,” Laney had handed him the address of the clinic and hadn’t said a word since. That was seventy miles ago, and they still had a long way to go.

  He stole a glance at his quiet passenger. Her face angled toward the window where the Montana landscape quickly rolled into memory as they traveled south on Interstate 15 to Bozeman. The golden-brown strands of her hair were tucked neatly behind her left ear and he noticed for the first time the fine line of her jaw, the impertinent chin and her long, graceful neck.

  With her face in profile, she was the perfect model for a pen-and-ink artist. Although he couldn’t draw anything more than crude stick figures, even if he had all the talent in the world, he’d never be able to capture the modest, understated sophistication that was Laney Broward. She was as strong and as powerful as he, but with an obliquely corralled wild streak just waiting to be unleashed. Like her prize-winning thoroughbreds, Laney was born to win, but not to be captured.

  He forced his eyes back on the road where they belonged and swallowed hard, but it didn’t dispel his nervousness. This was their first outing together and he wasn’t sure what to say. It had all the awkwardness of a first date, he thought as he wiped one sweaty palm and then the other on his jeans, but they weren’t a couple. Over the past several days, he’d come to realize that being her friend was the only way to begin to put some sort of frame around their relationship.

  Things were shaky indeed. The kiss hadn’t changed that, but he had to start somewhere.

  He stole a look at her belly. And even under the tunic she wore, he could tell there was an even bigger bulge there now than a few days ago when he’d kissed her. He felt his pride swelling at the life she was cultivating. A life they had created.

  “If I had it my way, I’d have ridden Stella Rose all the way to Bozeman,” Laney blurted out suddenly.

  “Why’s that?” he asked, a little stunned by her question.

  “Because you’ve been staring at me out of the corner of your eye ever since we left my house.” She turned to him. “Have I grown horns on the top of my head or something?”

  “No, but your halo is looking a little tarnished lately,” he replied, with a hint of a smile.

  She shot him a look and he broke out laughing. “You’re so much fun to tease. Just relax, would you?”

  Laney slid one leg over the other and leaned back against the seat. She rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling of the vehicle, exposing the swell of her neck. But when she turned toward him again, she had a half smile on her lips.

  “I’ll try, okay?” she said. “This isn’t easy.”

  “I know,” he said with a nod. He didn’t stop to wonder if she was talking about being with him or the pregnancy in general. He was just happy that she’d broken the silence between them.

  He turned on SiriusXM. The station was already tuned to one that played old-school country, where a singer was crooning that he had another broken heart and he “just didn’t give a damn.” Austin bobbed his head to the bluesy beat, refusing to think about his past failed relationships. The important thing was that he’d moved on. He just wasn’t sure at this point if Laney was the ultimate destination.

  “You know what’s the best recipe for a broken heart?” It was his roundabout way of finding out if she’d ever been in love.

  “In my case, chocolate was always the perfect antidote,” Laney said. There was a hint of snark in her voice, but no bitterness. He wanted to ask the particulars, but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate the intrusion.

  “No, it’s remembering the single most important quality that your ex lacked, so you can make sure to find that exact quality in your next relationship.”

  “Okay, Dr. Phil,” she said, crossing her arms and staring at him intently. “What are you looking for in a woman that your ex lacked, whomever she was?”

  “Trust,” Austin replied, without hesitation. “And integrity. What about you?”

  Her eyes darkened momentarily. “Laughter.”

  Austin slanted his eyes at her and quickly returned his attention to the road.

  “Don’t get me wrong, trust and integrity are really important to me, too,” she said hastily. “But life is too hard to be serious all the time.”

  “So did I ever tell you the one about the guy who met a princess in the desert?”

  “No, what happened?”

  “He was so thirsty for love, he drank her in like water,” he replied thickly. “But in the morning, he discovered she was only a mirage.”

  Austin feared that’s exactly what would happen to him, if he wasn’t careful. The passion he’d craved and explored with Laney that one night, the horizontal, undulating waves of heat that he’d never wanted to end. He wanted to experience all of that and more again. But were the feelings he’d poured into every touch real, or were they simply an illusion of his deepest desires?

  Their eyes met and they both turned away quickly. Neither wanted to be drawn into examining the meaning behind Austin’s statement, nor did they wish to confirm the existence of their attraction to each other.

  But it was there fluttering between them, as a question and as a fact.

  “Austin, that’s not funny,” replied Laney, staring straight ahead. “That’s depressing.”

  “You’re right,” he said, a bit sheepishly. “It must be this darn music.” He reached over and switched to the comedy station. A good joke or two was something they both needed to release the tension and bind the wounds that lay hidden in their hearts.

  * * *

  An hour and a half later, Austin was perched on a circular stool next to Laney, who lay stretched out on an examination table.

  He felt blessed to even be in th
e room, and was still reeling with surprise that Laney wanted him there, with her, during the exam.

  The sonographer had her back turned to the couple as she readied her supplies.

  The walls were painted a gender-generic beige likely meant to calm, but the effect was undermined by the colorful Jackson Pollock print, which led to equal amounts of confusion.

  At least to him. He never got Pollock. His paintings always looked as though they were done by a three-year-old who’d overdosed on Kool-Aid.

  Laney shivered a little.

  He touched her arm lightly. “Are you okay? Do you need another blanket?”

  She shook her head. “Just a little nervous.”

  Laney was dressed in a blue pinstriped hospital gown covering her top, and a flimsy blue paper blanket covering below her belly. Every other part of her beneath the gown and blanket was bare.

  He tried not to think about that little detail. Instead, he reached for her hand and entwined her fingers with his, and gave a little squeeze. “You look beautiful, you know that?” he whispered in her ear.

  He watched her chest rise as she took a deep breath and turned toward him, a grateful smile on her face.

  The sonographer approached the table. “I did warm this up for you so you’ll be a little more comfortable,” she said, as she squirted a clear, jellylike substance on Laney’s abdomen.

  Austin released Laney’s hand and watched, fascinated. “What is that stuff?” he asked, not caring if he sounded ignorant.

  The sonographer smiled patiently. “It’s a special gel that helps the ultrasound waves travel directly through the skin to the part I’m imaging.” She grabbed a white wandlike tool attached by a cord to a computer. “This transducer sends and receives the sound waves. The image of the baby will be displayed on the monitors in just a few moments.”

  Austin and Laney looked up at a flat-screen monitor suspended from the ceiling.

  The sonographer turned her head and looked at the computer monitor, while continuing to move the transducer slowly over Laney’s abdomen.

  A few seconds later, Austin hitched in a breath. In a fluid yet grainy black-and-white, he saw the perfectly formed shape of a tiny human being.

  His child.

  “Do you see the baby?” Laney asked, excitedly.

  “Yes,” he replied, awestruck. “It’s beautiful!”

  Mesmerized by the image before him, he reached for Laney’s hand again without taking his eyes from the screen.

  “Can we see if it’s a boy or a girl?” he asked, his eyes glued to the screen.

  The sonographer paused midstream. “It’s a little early in the pregnancy to see the sex of the baby, but we could try. It’s up to you, ma’am,” she said.

  Laney slipped her hand from his and turned to him. Somehow, he managed to tear his eyes away from the monitor. She shook her head. “No, Austin. I don’t want to know. I want it to be a surprise for us and for the family. Besides, I promised Mama. No more secrets,” she said, emphatically. “Plus, it will be fun to choose names for the baby,” she added quickly.

  “No more secrets,” Austin repeated with a nod. “Got it. That’s fine, honey.”

  Honey.

  He looked down at his lap briefly. The endearment had slipped out before he could catch it, but the word fit. Laney was sweet to look at and even sweeter to taste.

  Austin lifted his head and cast a quick glance at her, but she didn’t seem to be perturbed, and he breathed an internal sigh of relief.

  “Austin Jr. has a mighty nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” he advised in a serious tone.

  Laney narrowed her eyes. “Now hold on just a minute.” But before she had a chance to argue, the doctor stepped into the room. He was a short, squat, nearly bald man.

  “Dr. McCreedy, this is Austin Johns. The father of my baby.”

  Austin stood and shook his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

  The doctor washed his hands and then walked to the other side of the examination table and stuck his stethoscope in his ears. He pressed it over Laney’s heart. Suddenly, he knit his brows together.

  “Austin Johns, your name sounds familiar. Do you happen to own a racehorse by the name of The Perfect Shot?”

  Austin nodded. “That’s right.”

  He grinned wide. “That horse made me a ton of money a few years back. I haven’t seen him on the circuit lately. What’s he doing?”

  Austin grinned back. “Semi-retired. He’s a stud now.”

  The doctor shook his head ruefully. “Lucky animal. Wish I were, too,” he replied.

  Laney and Austin both laughed as he squirted some more goop on Laney’s abdomen and grabbed the transducer.

  “Let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat today, shall we?”

  Austin felt his eyes widen. “Wow, you can actually hear it with that device?”

  “Yep, it’s definitely more powerful than these old things,” Dr. McCreedy said, quickly draping his stethoscope around his neck. He leaned back and turned up the volume on the ultrasound station.

  Laney twisted her head toward Austin. “We tried at my last appointment, but the baby wasn’t in the right position.”

  She held his eyes and they both held their breath as the doctor watched the monitor and slowly moved the transducer over her belly.

  Suddenly, from out of nowhere and deep within bloomed the most wonderful sound in the world.

  The sound of life.

  “There it is,” Dr. McCreedy murmured softly. “There it is.”

  To Austin, the baby’s heartbeat sounded like a band of galloping horses. Percussive, full of energy and so profound that it moved him to tears.

  He saw tears glistening in Laney’s eyes, too, and it was all he could do not to kiss her on the mouth.

  I wish we were alone right now, he thought.

  Dr. McCreedy removed the transducer and the room went stark quiet. Austin and Laney said nothing as they both tried to preserve the sound of their baby’s heartbeat somewhere deep within their memory.

  “Everything is looking and sounding good,” the doctor said. “Are there any concerns that I can address?”

  Laney looked at the doctor and shook her head, but Austin touched her arm.

  “I have two, actually,” he blurted out. “How soon can we do a DNA test for paternity?” Somehow he was able to ask the question without faltering, even though he knew it would hurt Laney deeply.

  Dr. McCreedy scrunched up his brows and his eyes traveled from Laney to Austin and back to his patient again.

  “You’re now in your second trimester, seventeenth week. At this point, we could perform an amniocentesis, which is where we insert a very thin needle through your abdomen and into your uterus and take a small amount of amniotic fluid, which we can test for paternity. There are risks, the biggest of them being miscarriage, which I know, Laney, you were concerned about previously.”

  “Miscarriage?” Austin felt his heart lurch. “What are you talking about?”

  Dr. McCreedy turned to his patient. “Do you want me to share the details with him?” When she nodded her consent, he continued. “Laney came into my office a few weeks ago after an episode of spotting. She was concerned that she might have miscarried the baby. We did an ultrasound and examined her and all was well. However, I did request that she stop riding for the duration of her pregnancy, and advised as much rest as possible. For physical activity, I authorized light yoga and tai chi, both of which are safe and highly effective.”

  Austin swallowed back his fear. If Laney had lost the baby, he wouldn’t be sitting here with her right now. Even worse, he might have never even known that he’d gotten her pregnant.

  “So what do you recommend about the testing, Doctor?”

  “Wait until the baby is born,” D
r. McCreedy answered firmly. “Then establish paternity when there are no risks for the mother or the child.”

  Austin nodded, ignoring Laney’s accusing eyes.

  The doctor got up to wash his hands. “What’s your second concern?” he asked.

  “I know Laney has established a relationship with you, but I’m wondering if she should have a doctor closer to Granger, in case of an emergency.”

  Laney started to protest but stopped when Dr. McCreedy turned to the couple from the sink.

  “I think that’s an excellent idea. I’ll have my secretary give you the name of one of my colleagues in Helena.”

  He dried his hands and handed Laney a towel. Austin presumed it was so that she could wipe all the goo off her abdomen.

  “Good luck to you both and feel free to call me with any additional concerns.”

  When the doctor exited, Austin left the room, too, so Laney could get changed. He knew she was mad at him again. He’d decided to wait on asking her if she would have told him about the baby if, God forbid, she had suffered a miscarriage. He wasn’t sure he could handle the answer.

  On their way out, the secretary handed them the name of the referral doctor and a brochure on birthing methods. Although he’d heard of natural childbirth classes, the only thing he knew was that they involved a lot of heavy breathing. He wanted to help Laney in any way he could, but now he wasn’t sure if she would accept his assistance during labor.

  When they got to the car, Laney finally spoke.

  “How could you even think you’re not the father? After what we shared that night?” She turned away and pulled on the door handle, but it wouldn’t open. He hadn’t unlocked it yet. “Let me in, please.”

  “No,” he said, slipping the keys back into his pocket. “Not until you give me a chance to explain why I asked about the DNA testing.”

  She backed up against the car and crossed her arms. He shifted uncomfortably.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Laney. I just need to prove I’m the father for legal purposes.”

  “And you think that doesn’t hurt me? Trying to take away my child?”