But she did blame him. She needed time. She had a plan to undergo surgery and fix her body. She planned on sharing her struggles with him as soon as she accepted them herself. She had fears. She had issues with trust. And she thought if he knew, he would leave.
Nicole looked up. Austin walked by slowly looking at her. Their eyes met. She felt humiliated. And she was angered all over again. She gave him an evil stare then looked away. She couldn’t help but notice his pain. He looked like a man with a burden. He seemed humbled. It was in his eyes. Nicole teared up then looked back at the spreadsheet. She wondered was his humility due to a deep felt sincerity at hurting her. Or was it because he was caught.
Austin stopped outside her view. He stood, then dropped his head. He knew his wife still loved him. He was still employed. Other than not being allowed to enter their home, he was still around. Proof she wasn’t done with him. Austin sighed. He had no words. He was guilty. He had an affair. In their home. Austin turned around and walked back past. He tried to overcome his fears. What if she blew up at him? What if she embarrassed him again? His mind raced as he walked past her. Nicole sighed loudly then picked up an ink pen and made notes along the sheet.
“Hey,” he said, as he opened her glass door. “Hey,” she hesitated. Austin could sense her apprehension. She didn’t seem ready to talk. Ready to see him. “Can I come in?” he asked. “Sure,” she said, keeping her eyes on the paper. Austin walked over to her. His steps slow. He felt awkward. But he was relieved that she was allowing him entry. It was a start.
“I need your help on the Bronson account,” he said. “No you don’t. You know that account better than me,” she replied. Austin looked out the window. “I do. Just to have a second set of eyes on the changes I am making,” he said. Nicole looked at him. Her gaze deep. Penetrating. Angry. “Bring it to me. I will take a look and get it back to you,” she replied in a fast manner. Her tone dry. “Can I show you over dinner?” he asked. Nicole put her pen down and sat straight up. She folded her hands. Her eyes filling with tears.
“Dinner? Is that where we are? Going out on a date? As if nothing happened,” she said, her voice cracking. “Yes. That’s the only place you’ll let me be for now. I can’t call you. I can’t come to the house. I guess I can only see you at work from now on. I miss you Nic. I fucked up. This is killing me. We have to talk. You have to talk to me,” he said, staring intensely at her. Nicole had never seen him so emotional. He was always good at controlling himself. He had no true depth when it came to her. This was a first. It was her who loved him. She pursued him after they met. She pushed for a relationship then opened the doors to marriage prematurely. Before he earned her heart. Before he earned the right to love her.
Nicole stood up and walked to her window. Austin followed her and stood behind her. “I don’t know how to forgive you. You have taken me for granted on so many occasions. Because you know I love you. Because I love you more than you love me. That’s my fault. My mother always told me never love a man more. They can sense it and they will take advantage. And so, this is my fault. But I will not let you take advantage of me. The freedom you think you have is imaginary,” she said, as she turned to him. Nicole looked deeply into his eyes. She didn’t want to admit that she had been waiting to have the talk. This was her moment.
“I will leave you first. I am aware of what I bring to this. You should have come to me if you were unhappy. I know we haven’t been the same. It’s because of issues I have and I had plans to seek help. Sex hurts me. Terribly. You didn’t know that. You fucked someone else before I had a chance to tell you how bad things had gotten with me body. And I don’t forgive you Austin. I don’t. So bring me the account. I will help you. But I don’t want to go to dinner. And right now, I don’t want to talk. Ok,” she said as she turned back to the window. Austin got closer. It was not ok. He was shocked that she was in pain. She had never said a word to him.
Austin touched her shoulder. He rubbed her arm slowly. Nicole closed her eyes. She didn’t realize she missed his touch. His smell. His voice. His face. “Go away,” she said. “No. I love you. I’m not leaving unless you fire me. You think I married you for money. For sex. Is that what people told you? You think that’s why I slept with her, because we’re not real. I know that’s what you think. I didn’t know about the pain. You should have told me. You shut me out Nicole. I felt lonely. I missed sex with you. I missed holding you. Kissing you. But I was wrong. I know that. I don’t want anything from you. I never did. I want you. I was a fool. I have no excuse Nic. You’re my heart. If you want out, I will sign off on anything you ask me to. You didn’t need a prenup because I don’t want anything. But I want to make it up. Give us another chance.”
Nicole turned back to him. He touched her face lightly, wiping his fingers across her tears. Nicole was speechless. This was the most she had gotten out of him. It was the most emotion he had ever showed and she was floored. His words addressing the money was a relief. There was a part of her that felt he was there for money. For power. For the Langston name and privilege. His acknowledgment of wanting sex and missing it from her, would help her heal. “I’m scared,” she confessed. Austin held her. He kissed her head. “I know. I won’t hurt you again. You have to trust me again. I know it will take time. We have time. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Hey baby. How’s your day?” Ingrid said. She took a sip of the warm, delicate chamomile tea “Hi mom. It’s good. It smells so good in here. I always loved the smell,” Nicole said, as she sat down across from her mother at The Tea Room. It was a favorite coffee and tea shop amongst some of the locals. George and Ingrid were friends with the owners. A husband and wife team who had managed to turn one shop into three locations with George’s financial guidance. Ingrid often went to get a cup of tea and relax in the unique shop. The theme was relaxation through the senses and soothing music.
They played a series of stress relieving piano concertos and Ingrid had asked Nicole to meet her there to unwind. But she noticed Nicole was happier than she had been in the days prior. Ingrid hoped her daughter was healing from the pain of what she had discovered. It was shocking news and George had contacted his lawyer Milton to go over the options and help his daughter move on from the marriage without a huge financial loss.
Milton proposed that Nicole offer him two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in the hopes that it would make him go away quietly. Nicole rejected the deal. She wanted Austin to walk away with nothing. He had betrayed her in a most devastating way possible and she didn’t believe he deserved on dime of her money. But George wanted it done quietly. It was embarrassing for the family. He had a reputation to uphold and so did his daughter. At the moment, no one knew she was seeking a divorce. He was leaving it up to Nicole to decide if she wanted her brothers to know or not. Ingrid wanted to talk to Nicole about it. George had asked his wife to step in and try to get Nicole to make a deal with him. Ingrid wasn’t so sure Nicole would listen.
The aroma of the shop was inviting. It aroused a sense a calm. The music played softly in the background. Nicole looked around. Ingrid sipped her tea, as she tried to gage her daughter’s mood. She hoped Nicole would just start talking about it. About her plans. But Nicole sat silent, more interested in the atmosphere than what was going on in her life. “Honey. I want you to tell me you’re alright? You’re so quiet. I can’t tell if you are coming through this ok. That is a very cruel thing he did. And in your house. What’s on your mind? You can tell me,” she said.
Nicole looked down into her tea. She looked up at her mother. The booth they sat in was nestled away in a corner. Perfect for the private conversation they needed to have. The powder blue cushions on the light stained tall wood private booth helped her relax more. The music and tea had done its job. Nicole was ready to talk. Her mother was also her best friend. There was a trust factor. A bond that even George could not penetrate. If Nicole asked her mother to keep things between them, she would. Regardless if it made George angry. Despite
them being there at his urging. They were connected.
“Don’t tell dad,” she said. Ingrid sat her cup down. She gave her daughter her full attention. This was about Austin. A man who had her daughter’s heart in his hand. Ingrid worried. She liked Austin. But if he hurt Nicole again, he would not be so welcomed. They had their daughter’s respect. They had her attention. And they had helped her navigate through worse.
“Ok. I won’t. You can confide in me honey. You always could,” Ingrid assured. Nicole took a deep breath. “Austin and I have reconciled. We’ve been seeing a marriage counselor. He’s been making tremendous effort. I know that I always have rocky relationships that end badly. But Austin is different. We have something. He lost faith in me and thought I was pulling away. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t healthy and I was going through something. He thought my lack of intimacy was me turning from him. But we’re good now. I want to give him another chance.”
Ingrid took a sip of her tea. She hoped Nicole was right. She didn’t want her daughter to suffer through a bad marriage with a man who was capable of such disloyalties. It wouldn’t be the first time. Nicole had been in one terrible relation after the next. And she never seemed bothered about how low the man in her life would go. And even though she showed an intolerance by going to the office to confront him, she was back a week later as if nothing happened.
Ingrid and George had their share of sleepless nights and talks of worry. They hoped, as Nicole grew into adulthood, she would make wiser choices. But the men seemed to get seedier. She had been married and divorced multiple times with a few bad apples in between. And she seemed to still be making the same mistakes over and over. Ingrid just wanted her happy and safe. And if Nicole was giving him another chance, so would they.
Ingrid was aging gracefully. She wanted her golden years to be hers. Days of leisure filled with shopping, tea parties and travel. She had other children, also with issues. The Langston’s were blessed financially but their personal lives were a different story. Ingrid had trust issues within her own marriage that she had dealt with. Past issues that she overcame with her own husband. She believed, deep down, that their maids’ child, was his.
Gloria had kept the pregnancy a secret, which she found strange. Then sent the child away immediately after having her. Ingrid never told anyone of her suspicions. And those suspicions were further confirmed when she found that money from one of their accounts had a consistent withdrawal of ten thousand dollars to an international account. After much digging, she discovered the bank was located in Belize. She suspected it was money being used to care for the child.
“Your life is yours honey. I tried so hard to guide you and help you make choices that would make you happy. And to be honest, no one can pick a lover for you. Or a husband. It is a personal choice. Because you are the one who has to wake up to that person every day. But you need to keep in mind, he did more than mess around. He disrespected you inside your home. But if you want to work on it, go through counseling, it may work out. You follow your heart. Do what you need. Your father will be disappointed. He doesn’t want to see you hurt. But make no mistake, this is your life. I support you. Your father supports you.”
Nicole sighed. Ingrid was just saying the words. George did not support her continuing on with a man who had done the unthinkable to his one and only daughter. She sat back and crossed her legs. Ingrid smiled at her. A reassurance that she had nothing to worry about. Nicole had not laid all her cards on the table. She failed to tell her mother that her and Austin’s lives were not so clean. That she had partied hard with him prior to marrying him. That she had her suspicions about his character, but tried to remove them from her mind. And that she had started suspecting he was having an affair because she had pulled away sexually. Because of a physical condition so debilitating that it made love making impossible.
They were in counseling. And she was seeking treatment for the large fibroids that had riddled her uterus. It was a closely guarded secret that even Austin did not know until her blow up at the office. But secrets have a way of crashing down when one least suspected. Austin expressed his own beliefs that she had her own affair going on. That she’d shut him out. Stopped loving him.
Their intense talk was cleansing. Nicole told him of her issues. And he spoke of his. And she had forgiven him under one condition. That he remain faithful to her. It helped that he appeared remorseful. The lack of intimacy between them had gotten to him. And what ailed Nicole would not be repaired overnight. They had a tough decision to make and they had decided to give it one more try. They planned to renew their vows in an effort to wipe the slate clean.
Nicole looked across the shop. It was filled with people. Men and women. Some appeared married. Some couples looked to be on first dates. Nicole reflected on her life. She wasn’t sure what the future held for her and Austin. Only that she was forgiving him because she knew this side of him, even if she couldn’t admit it to herself. Their vows stated she would forgive. She remembered the part that stated for better or for worse. And this was the absolute worst thing that could happen. She would forgive. She needed to. She was not ready to part.
“You once said dad was a problem. And you forgave him and moved on. You two are fine now. What if you wouldn’t have stuck it out with him. Abandoned ship. You would have never seen how great he could be. I am giving him a chance to be great mom.”
“See you in the morning Mr. Langston,” the secretary said, as Noah exited. He managed to get through another day posing as Niles. But he was desperate to get home. He called Niles to make sure he had vacated the condo. He knew Bella would be there since it was six o’clock in the evening. She closed her shop at four and was always home by five thirty. Noah hung up and hit redial when Niles didn’t pick up. “Damn. Pick up Niles,” he said.
Noah got in his car and called his brother repeatedly as he drove straight to his home. They had already discussed how the day would go. Niles was to be out of the condo after Bella left for the day. Noah called as he made his way there. He was nervous about seeing her. He wondered how she would respond to him. “Come on Niles. Pick up,” he said, as he drove in the congested traffic. Noah sat his phone down and turned the radio on. He stopped scanning when he found a channel playing jazz. Jazz was Niles favorite music and it had become his. Cheyenne played it daily and he was now a new lover of the instruments and emotionally charged melodies of the genre. It would take him a minute to get to Manhattan from New York so he braced himself for the long ride home.
Noah came up off the freeway and turned towards his street. He tried Niles a few more times. He couldn’t just go in. He needed to know Niles was gone. He hadn’t talked to him all day. He figured Niles felt some type of way for having to end his time with Bella prematurely. Noah pulled up. Their new condo was an end unit with a two car garage attached. It was a large three bedroom two bath unit that faced a private street and sat off a main side road. He drove past then turned around, looking for any sign of activity. He wasn’t sure if they were there. It was possible that their cars were parked in the garage. Noah was getting frustrated. It was supposed to be a smooth and seamless transition. “Come on,” he yelled, hitting the steering wheel. He was worried enough without the stress of not knowing.
Just as he turned to drive by a second time, Niles emerged. Noah flashed his headlights and slowly pulled up. His identity obscured by tinted windows. “What the fuck Niles. You’re supposed to be gone. Why are you here? What if she sees us?” he ranted. “She came home early. Wouldn’t leave. Shit got complicated. Don’t get mad at me. This shit wasn’t my idea,” he yelled. “Where is she now?” he asked. “She’s asleep,” he replied. “Meet me around the corner. I can’t sit here. She might see us,” he said, angered, as he pulled off. He drove to the street adjacent to the side of his condo. Niles went back in and peeked at Bella. He stared intensely at her. He would be separated from her again. It was a pain he wasn’t ready for but Noah was persistent. Niles reached to touch her hair. He
lightly ran his fingers through it. Bella moaned and moved slightly and Niles pulled his hand back. “I love you,” he whispered then slowly walked out the room.
He eased out the door and got in his car. His corvette’s engine was enough to wake Bella. She jolted awake from the deep slumber. “Noah,” she shouted. She jumped from the bed and looked out the window. She saw him pull off. Where is he going, she thought, as she walked to another window and watched as he turned down the street adjacent to them. She could see his brake light illuminate as his car slowed then came to a stop. Her partial view of the car and what he was doing was hidden by houses. “What is he doing?” she questioned.
They knew no one on that street. It was a cul-de-sac so it wasn’t likely that he would select it to randomly drive on. There was no exit. He would need to turn around. And he knew this. Bella was stumped. She threw on some clothes and shoes and ran out the door. She could still see the tail end of his car but the brake lights were now out. It looked as though he had parked. Bella was now on heightened alert. She wondered who her handsome and woman magnate of a husband was doing. Had he met someone just around the corner. He wasn’t the friendly type so she doubted he met a gentleman and had befriended him.
Bella crossed the road. She walked briskly to get to the corner. She didn’t want to believe he was visiting a female but she struggled to make sense of what was going on. Bella could hear arguing as she approached. It was the sounds of two male voices. The voices were eerily the same. One was slightly different in pitch but otherwise identical. Bella walked up to the side of the corner house. It was Noah’s voice she heard. She wanted to hear what was being said. She wanted to see who he was in a heated debate with. Bella peeked through a thick shrub. She could see the back of one man and Noah facing him.
The Twin Page 16
