Put like that, her answer was simple. No. Well, then, if he wasn’t strong enough to do the right thing, then, by golly, she was. And she’d do it now, before it got out of hand. Because the way he made her heart and body ache whenever she just thought about him, things could get out of hand—fast.
Hating herself for having a conscience, she took a deep breath and proceeded to break her own heart. Shrugging until he let go of her, Julie stepped back, pointedly going to her office door. It took every ounce of strength she possessed to remain upright and dry-eyed as she opened it. To anyone who might be passing her office, she hoped to give the impression of ending a simple business call. “Thank you, Mike, for coming by. I appreciate what you’ve done today. And I hope you and Caroline are very happy together.”
She’d caught him off guard. For the briefest second, his surprise registered on his face. Then back came the federal agent look, the impersonal facade, the intent stare. But it hadn’t quite gelled yet, because his mouth worked and he made a half gesture with his hands. Finally, though, he gave an accepting nod. “You’re right. This is the only way. As I said before, I’m the one with the problem. Not you. Goodbye, Julie.”
“Goodbye, Mike.” She clutched at the doorknob behind her with both hands to keep from stopping him when he brushed by her. For the second time in less than two days, she watched him walk away from her. At least this time, it was on her terms. As if that made her feel any better.
When he reached the elevator, he punched the button and stood there, shaking his head. All the while, he kept his back to her, never once looking around.
When the doors didn’t open immediately, he stalked to the stairwell door and shoved it open. The door punched the wall behind it with a resounding bam as he stepped through. Office doors along the hallway opened in response to the noise. Concerned faces poked out. Julie eyed her coworkers and listened with them as Mike’s footfalls descended rapidly down the stairs. The stairwell door slowly, anticlimactically closed behind him.
Julie blinked once. And then again. God, she hated Mondays.
A PIERCING, CHILDISH scream wrenched Mike out of his dozing nap and brought him straight up off the couch early Wednesday evening. Despite his fuzziness, a functioning part of his mind indicated reality for him. Okay, an hour ago, he and Aaron arrived home from seeing Caroline off at the airport. Aaron had fallen asleep on the way home, so when they got here, he’d put him in his bed and had hit the couch.
The scream echoed again, pitched high enough this time to clear Mike’s sinuses. He pushed around the corner to Aaron’s bedroom. Still clad in his overalls and T-shirt, the little boy sat on the floor with his legs spread wide. Between them was the old fish aquarium they’d converted into a frog-itarium. The lid was off it. And its only citizen had fled. Great. Now there was a fugitive frog loose somewhere in the apartment.
Mike ran his hands over his face to wake himself up and then stretched mightily. “What’s up, hotshot? Was that you busting the sound barrier?”
Aaron turned a calm, serious face up to his father. “No. I was lellin’ for you. I’m up from my nap now.”
Mike smiled at the boy’s tousled hair. “All the evidence points to that, Mr. DeAngelo. Now, what was all the yelling about?”
Aaron’s chin quivered. “My froggy’s gone. He got outta here.”
Mike leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest. “Uh-huh. I can see that. How do you suppose that happened?”
Aaron looked everywhere but at his father while he thought about that. He then pulled himself up onto his knees and ran a pudgy finger through the dirt in the vacant habitat. “I fink Caroline did it. Her don’t like him.”
Mike frowned. What Aaron meant was he didn’t like her. The wedding was less than two months away. And getting closer every day. “No, she didn’t like him too much, huh? Maybe that was because of the way you surprised her by sticking him in her face when she was over here Sunday. But I don’t think she let him out, Aaron. And neither do you.”
His bottom lip poked out stubbornly. “I don’t want Caroline no more. I just like you an’ my Julie an’ my froggy an’ my grandma-lady.”
Mike straightened up and ran his hand over his mouth. He wondered if Aaron had said any of this to Caroline. Geez. Going to sit on his son’s bed, he scooped him up into his arms and held him close to his chest. The sweet baby softness of him warmed Mike’s heart. He rested his chin on Aaron’s head. “Come on, big guy. You used to like Caroline. Why don’t you like her now?”
“’Cause her’s mean. Her lells at you ‘bout Julie. And Julie’s my friend.”
Mike pulled back a little to look down into Aaron’s face. How much had he heard of their arguing? “Aaron, I’m going to marry Caroline. You know that.”
Aaron poked out his bottom lip. “No. I don’t want you to. I just like Julie ‘cause she likes my froggy, an’ she gots the grandma-lady at her house. I want her to live wif us.”
In light of such dogged resistance, Mike deliberately sidetracked his son by playfully pulling at the baby fat on the boy’s side. “Who? The grandma-lady? You want her to come live with us?”
Aaron stiffened in a snorting laugh. “No. She gots a daddy. But her can visit her girl here wif us.”
Mike snorted out a laugh. “Is the grandma-lady paying you to say these things, or what?”
“No. I don’t gots no money.”
“Then, I guess you’d better get a job, boy. How about frog-watcher?” Mike pitched backward on the bed, the signal for a little male rough-housing. A few minutes later, he sat up and swatted at a giggling, collapsed Aaron with a pillow. “Hey, amigo, let’s find your frog and then we’ll get something to eat, okay?”
Aaron immediately sat up. “Yah! Can Julie go wif us?”
Mike’s expression fell. But after thirty minutes of Aaron’s cajoling and pleading, Mike caved in—against his better judgment, and found himself, with Aaron in tow, standing in front of Julie’s door. Surely, she wouldn’t smack him between the eyes if he had his kid with him? Hell, he was just doing this for Aaron. No reason why his son couldn’t see his friend, just because his father couldn’t control his testosterone. Wasn’t that what she’d said last Saturday?
Julie opened her door. On this rare cold evening, she had on thick socks, pink sweatpants and a white long-john shirt. Her shoulder-length auburn curls looked like she’d been twisting them with her fingers. In her hands was a bowl of ice cream. Tucked under her arm was a paperback book. Definitely gorgeous. Especially her wide-eyed, ice blue stare.
“Hi. Just so you’ll know, this is the big guy here’s idea.” He jerked his thumb toward Aaron. “We’re here to ask you to go eat with us. Or have you already eaten?”
She held his gaze for a moment before glancing down at the bowl of melting ice cream in her hands, and then back up at him. “No. I haven’t eaten. But what prompted this? I don’t get it, Mike—after Monday.”
Mike’s gut tightened. For two cents, he’d walk away. But, hell, he was here now. Exhaling slowly, he shrugged. “No big deal. It just seems our erstwhile amphibian absconded, and we’re sad.”
Setting her bowl and her book down on the end table just inside her door, she looked from him to Aaron and back to him. “Your what.did what—What did you say?”
Suddenly, the whole thing was funny. Mike grinned. “I said, Kermit took a powder and is on the lam.”
Clearly still at sea, she leaned toward him. “What?”
Mike huffed out another breath and tried again.slowly. “The.frog.is.gone…and…we’re…sad. Some of us more than others.” He nodded his head down at Aaron and raised his eyebrows at her, hoping to convince her to help him out and play along.
She came along right nicely. “Oh, I get it! The frog is gone, and you’re sad!” She smiled brightly, but then her eyes widened in belated understanding. Her hands went to her mouth. Then she leaned down to comfort Aaron. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Aaron. Maybe he’ll come back.”
> Mike couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. When he spoke, she straightened up to face him. “Well, he isn’t actually gone. He’s loose somewhere in our apartment.”
“O-o-h, yuck.”
“Spoken like a true female. But be careful here. Saying things like that can cause you to lose some serious Juliepoints.”
He loved how she frowned when she didn’t understand something. It caused a little wrinkle right between her gorgeous eyes. “Julie-points? Do I want to know what those are?”
“You’ll sleep better at night if you don’t. Now, are you going to come with us weary frog pursuers to hunt down some supper, or not?” He wasn’t happy with the way he was holding his breath while he waited for her reply. Worst of all, she looked like she was going to say no. He sobered. “It’s only a meal, Julie. Nothing else. I swear. Just between friends, okay?”
Even though he didn’t really feel like it, he smiled hugely in encouragement. She locked gazes with him. Every reason why she shouldn’t go, and why he shouldn’t be here, was reflected in her eyes. But then she turned again to Aaron.
“Do you want me to come with you, Aaron?”
“Yeah. I asked my daddy if you could. And he said okay.”
She grinned at the boy, ruffled his hair and straightened up. Mike watched her every move and wondered to himself, for about the tenth time, just what the hell he thought he was doing here. But he managed an answering grin when she gestured broadly and announced, “Then, hunting down supper, it is.”
Thirty minutes later, allowing Julie time to make herself presentable, which turned out to mean throwing on a pair of jeans and a sweater, Mike didn’t hunt any farther than the Pepper’s around the corner from their apartments. He got out of his Blazer, and then, trotting around to the passenger’s side to help Julie and Aaron do the same, he joined them in enjoying the smells of the crisp night air, heavy with the beef-scented hickory smoke that escaped from the restaurant’s grill vent. When his stomach grumbled irritably, Mike clutched at it. Julie and Aaron turned laughing faces to him.
“So, Mike, are you hungry?”
“Daddy’s tummy thundered.”
“Hey. It could have been worse,” he assured them.
Julie held up a hand. “Please don’t elaborate. I have a brother.”
“Yes, ma’am.” And then suddenly, Mike felt…well, dammit, giddy. It might have been unmanly—he could see Sal laughing at him already—but he was consciously and totally happy, like he hadn’t been for…a long time. He wanted to jump up and give a war whoop. The night was black, starlit and blessedly cool, and he was with Julie. It couldn’t last. It shouldn’t even be happening. But too bad. He intended to enjoy the moment, anyway. He’d pay later—and gladly. But tonight was his.
After they were seated, Aaron next to Julie, Mike across the table from them, he faced her in the soft half light and held her gaze. He spared Aaron a glance and grinned at the picture his son made sitting next to her. Completely content now that he’d won the mock battle over who got to sit by Julie, the little turkey was preoccupied with singing softly to himself and coloring his cartooned place mat with the crayons the waiter had given him.
“So,” Mike said, looking back at Julie, “what’s new with you since you threw me out of your office on Monday?”
Julie’s laughter heartened him. “I did not throw you out. But, to answer your question, not much. Dan—my crazy brother you met in the men’s room—and his wife, Joan, have gone home. But my sister and her family are still here. They go back to California this weekend. She says Tommy is still talking about Aaron.”
“Yeah, Tommy’s a good kid. They seemed to hit it off.” Like us, he almost added.
“Good thing, since they’ll soon be cousins—sort of.” She looked down at her hands and fiddled with a silver ring on her right ring finger. “I guess we will be, too.”
Mike thankfully didn’t have to say anything to that because their waiter brought their drinks right then.
But the happiness began to drain right out of him, just like the sugar that he poured into his iced tea. Here we go. Well, what had he expected? One thing was for certain, he’d better nail down—and fast—exactly what he was about, being here with her. Because Caroline represented the rest of his life. Then, what was Julie?
Julie looked up at him. “Did.did Caroline stay with you while she was here?”
Mike stirred his tea and held her gaze steadily. No way was that an innocent question—or any of her business. But still, he answered. “No. She stayed in Tampa.” He barely stopped himself before confessing that he hadn’t slept with Caroline on this trip, and that all they’d done was fight. About her.
She nodded. “But she’s gone now, right? I mean, for the time being?”
Mike watched her for a moment before answering, and wished he could read her mind. “Yeah. Earlier this evening. We took her to the airport.”
“Oh. And then, as soon as she left, you came to my apartment?”
Her words slapped him across the face. He’d never thought about how it would look. “It wasn’t like that, Julie. I swear.”
Looking like she didn’t believe him for a minute, she gave her attention to Aaron, who showed her his artwork. Mike watched her easy way with his son. The kid loved her. While she bent over Aaron, Mike had to stop himself from reaching out to brush the red curls out of her face. He wanted to see more of her. No. He had to be honest. He needed to see more of her.
Leaning forward in the booth, just enough to brace his elbows on the table, Mike rested his chin on his hands. What was it about this woman that kept drawing him back to her? As if she’d read his mind and was going to answer that for him, she looked up. Though he knew he should, Mike couldn’t look away to save his life. Luckily, Aaron went happily back to his creation, but Julie sobered and bit at her bottom lip, frowning enough to make that little vertical line reappear between her eyes.
“You know, you have an intense way of looking at someone that makes them feel really uncomfortable. Or guilty.”
Mike grinned. “The FBI taught me that.”
“No lie. Stop it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
She thunked her glass of water down on the cardboard coaster. “I really like Caroline. She’ll be a good mother to Aaron.”
There it was. Mike sat back, extending his arms out to grasp the back of the booth. “I know. That’s why I’m marrying her.”
Sparing Aaron a glance, apparently to assure herself that he wasn’t listening to them, Julie leaned forward. Her eyes looked like ice chips in the harsh light of the brass fixture that hung above their table. She kept her voice low. “Shouldn’t that be just one of the reasons? I mean, there are about nine million women around who’d make him a good mother. What about you, Mike—your feelings? Don’t they count for something?”
Mike ran a hand over his face. “Did you minor in psychology, Julie? Damn. Okay, so I’m guessing your point is, if I’m so in love with Caroline, then what am I doing here with you?”
She sat back. “Bingo.”
Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t known it was coming. “Okay. Okay. I just thought it was supper. But if it’s more, then what are you doing here with me?”
Her mouth tightened. “I’m here for Aaron. We’re friends, remember?”
He didn’t believe it. And neither did she. Well, it was partially true, he supposed. At least, he hoped that neither of them was using Aaron as an excuse.
“What about us, Julie? You don’t think a man and a woman can be friends?”
“Sure, I do. But not us. We can’t be friends.”
Mike frowned. “Why the hell not?”
“Because.it doesn’t feel like friends, Mike.” Bracing her elbow on the table, she ran her fingers over her forehead as if she had a headache. Then she laughed. “God, the irony of this whole thing. I have no right to be questioning you like this, do I? I hardly know you. But I swear, someone up there must really ha
te me.”
Mike reached out and captured her hand in his. She stared at their joined hands and then met his gaze. Her expression could only be called bleak. Mike ran his thumb over the soft back of her hand, thinking how small it was compared to his. And how cold it felt. “I doubt it.”
“Well, that’s one vote.” She watched him rubbing her hand, then took up the battle again. “When’s your wedding?”
The hot flush of anger claimed him. He let go of her and struggled to keep his voice a bare notch above a hiss. “Why in the hell are you doing this, Julie? Do you want me to say I’m a bastard? Okay. I’m a bastard.”
Gaining back a modicum of control when Aaron turned his wide-eyed, frowning attention on them, Mike assured him that nothing was wrong, that Daddy and Julie were just talking about.a movie they’d seen. The waiter arrived with their food at that moment. His impersonal banter as he set the plates before them was a welcome relief.
Once Aaron was occupied with dredging his fries through a blob of ketchup on his plate, Mike took up the gauntlet Julie’d thrown down. “All right. We’ll do this your way. My wedding is in less than two months. My partner, Sal Pomerantz, is my best man. Aaron here is the ring bearer. And you and your family, along with five hundred other people, should be getting invitations any day now.
“The wedding itself is in Boston at a huge cathedral. It’ll be the social event of the season. And Caroline’s parents—who really approve of their only darling marrying a divorced working stiff who already has a kid—are nevertheless flying in all the guests, including my parents from Oklahoma, and are putting you up for the full four days of the celebration. It should be a helluva party. I hope you can make it. Then, for our honeymoon, we’re going to Europe—all of it. For a month. Happy now?”
She sat back and put her hands in her lap. Her face was devoid of expression. “No. Are you?”
5
“I’M AN IDIOT. A complete and total idiot, Susan. But what was I supposed to do? This.this Caroline-thing is always between us. Oh, God, the man is engaged to our cousin.”
A Man In Demand Page 6
