Mike winked at a grinning Connelly and turned to face the row of chairs that lined the wall. People crowded between him and Julie. Elevator bells dinged, hushed conversations swirled, doors opened and closed all along the corridor. But it was like he could smell her. He could have closed his eyes and walked straight to her. Within seconds, he was standing in front of her, and she was looking up at him. She laid aside a much-thumbed magazine.
He didn’t say anything and neither did she. Poor kid. She looked tired. The mauve tint under her eyes told him she hadn’t been sleeping. Mike cut his gaze down her in a sweeping glance. Jeans and a sweater. On a Monday?
“You’re not working today?” He wanted so badly to trace the outline of her cheek with his hand.
She shook her head, setting auburn curls off in a swirling dance across the heightened color in her cheeks. “I called in sick.”
He slid into the empty chair next to hers, taking her hand in his. “Are you really sick?”
She looked down at their hands. He followed her gaze and noted how his hand dwarfed hers, how her soft, slim fingers made his look rough and thick. “No. Yes. Well, in a way.”
She looked up at him again, her heart in her warm, blue eyes. “I had to see you, Mike. I said some awful things—”
He tightened his grip on her, even as every instinct told him to let go. “Mostly about yourself.”
She shifted her gaze to his tie tack. “I know. I’m such a jerk.” She raised her head again. “Are you really busy? I mean, I know this is the FBI and all, but—”
He stood up, pulling her to her feet. “Yeah, I’m really busy. But I want to hear what you have to say.” He let go of her hand to grip her elbow. “Come on, you’re already signed in, you may as well come upstairs with me.”
She hung back uncertainly. “Is it okay? It’s kind of weird being here.”
Mike grinned. “It’s okay as long as you stay with me. Don’t wander off, or someone might shoot you.”
Her eyes widened in alarm. “You’re kidding, right?”
Mike shrugged shamelessly. “I might be.”
Julie molded herself to his side as he escorted her back to the bank of elevators. Mike fought the bittersweet feeling of having her against him. After this past weekend, he knew every inch of her. He knew her smell, her little sounds, her taste. He knew how to play her body like the fine instrument that it was. And he knew that she could bring him to his knees with one touch, one look. Just as he knew it was all so much more than the sum of any of those things, this whatever-it-was between them that was messing up both their lives.
Mike pushed the button and stood mutely by the woman he was coming to suspect that he loved. But was it enough? It hadn’t been with Tory. Maybe he’d never really loved Tory, because what he felt for Julie was so different. Suddenly it occurred to Mike that Julie had a lot more in common with his ex-wife than he’d realized before last night. She’d given up everything else in her life to pursue her work, same as Tory. She’d pushed away the very people in her life who loved her, same as Tory. By her own admission, she’d let no one get between her and her career. Same as Tory.
Suddenly, standing there watching the floors tick off on the lighted panel above the doors, Mike began to cool. What the hell was he doing? All right, DeAngelo—the truth. Admit it. It just might be that Julie will be the one woman you’ll love for the rest of your life. Just might be. No certainties in there anywhere.
Well, there was one. He wasn’t prepared to give up everything he had with Caroline to explore what was really just a possibility. Or to put Aaron through it, either. The kid was just getting used to the idea of having a ‘nother mommy. But, more than that, Mike knew he had a commitment to Caroline, and he would honor it. Hell, the wedding was less than two months away now. Things were starting to heat up. He stole a glance at Julie. She gave him a tentative smile. Yes, they certainly were.
8
“HEY, I WAS JUST KIDDING there, buddy. But thanks, all the same.” Sal grinned hugely, looking like a tremendously pleased bulldog. He sat at his desk, unabashedly giving Julie the once-over. Finally, he scooted his chair back and stood. “This ain’t who you thought you was going down for, is it?”
“Down, Pomerantz, and no, she isn’t.” Mike tightened his grip on Julie’s elbow. He’d never hear the end of it from Sal after this. “Come here and be nice to the lady. And try not to scare her. Sal, meet Julie Cochran. Julie, this is my partner, Sal Pomerantz.” He then leaned in close to her, speaking aloud but acting as if he were sharing a confidence with her. “Don’t worry, he’s housebroken.”
“Call me Sal, sweetheart.” Laughing, Sal gripped her hand in his huge paw, but turned his attention on his partner. “I like her.” Without a pause, he turned his Brooklyn charm on Julie. “You forget this guy. He ain’t nothin’ but trouble. But an ugly guy like me? I’ll treat you right. We could have beautiful kids together. Make your ma proud, I swear.”
“That’s it.” Mike disengaged Julie’s hand from Sal’s. “Hey, can you give us a few minutes?”
Sal tore his grinning stare away from Julie’s reddening face to turn to Mike. “Yeah, sure. I was just on my way out. You go to lunch before ten-thirty and you miss the crowds.” He turned back to Julie. “Can I bring you something—a soda, a wedding ring? I’m serious here. Don’t break my heart, Julie.”
She grinned at Mike, and then at his partner. “Sure. I’ll take both.”
“Then, both it is.” With that, Sal lumbered over to his desk, pulled his jacket free, shrugged into it like a circus bear and came back to Julie, taking her hand and raising it to his lips. “Parting is such sweet sorrow, my Julie…ette.”
Mike rolled his eyes. “’Shakespeare from you, Pomerantz? I’ll have nightmares.”
Sal laughed, and waved his farewell when he got to the door. “I’ll ask Haney to get the phones for a while.” He closed the office door behind him.
Grinning and shaking his head, Mike turned to Julie. “I can’t do a thing with him.”
She smiled. “I like him. I just might take him up on his offer.”
“Great The nightmare begins.”
Julie laughed with him and then quieted, looking around the office. Mike tried to see it through her eyes. Crowded, cramped, cluttered. “It’s not much, is it?”
She turned back to him. Damn those eyes. They were crystal clear and unfathomable. And yet he could get lost in them.
“It’s enough. I think it’s a good office.”
Pleased by her answer, Mike leaned back against his desk and crossed his legs at the ankles. “Sal says we’re too busy to be organized.”
“I like that. You ought to have it done in needlepoint and framed.”
“Maybe I will. I’ll give it to him next Christmas.”
Mike finally remembered his manners and offered Julie a chair. She sat down. And then it grew suddenly silent. Julie fiddled with her purse strap. Mike ran a hand through his hair and then rotated his shoulders, readjusting his shoulder holster under his jacket. Finally, he stood up and removed his coat, tossing it carelessly over the back of his desk chair.
Julie’s eyes widened. “I guess I never thought about you carrying a gun.”
“All the time. But don’t worry. It’s not loaded.”
She looked from his gun to his face. “It’s not?”
“I’m teasing you. Of course it’s loaded.” How was it that one slender woman could turn him to mush? Trained in hand-to-hand combat, firearms, terrorist tactics and interrogation, to name a few deadly arts, he still couldn’t ask this one woman what she was doing here.
Julie turned abruptly to him. “Mike, I—” She just as abruptly turned away. Mike waited her out. She took a deep breath and swung back to him. “Mike, I was upset last night. More than I should have been, I guess. And I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
His heart screamed at him to take her in his arms. His head told him to stay where he was. He listened to his head. “You don’t have
to apologize. It’s how you feel.”
She shook her head. “No, it isn’t. Not really.” She looked at him, her heart in her eyes. “Mike, I have no right to say this, but I want to fight for you—not with you. But how can I? I don’t know how you feel about things, about me. And last night, I—”
“Don’t.” He pushed away from his desk and drew her to her feet. Staring down at her, loving her, he reached up to tuck back a stray curl from her cheek. He then rubbed her jawline and spoke softly. “What am I going to do with you?”
Her face puckered. “Oh, Mike, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come, I know.” When she tried to free herself, he tightened his grip. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I’ll leave.”
“No. Don’t leave. Just give me a minute.” He let her go and turned toward the window. Who was he trying to kid? He knew what he had to do. What he had to say.
Without preamble, he broke the silence. “My father was career navy—an admiral. We moved all the time. Home for me and Mom was wherever Dad’s next duty station was. It was okay. We saw a lot of places, did a lot of things most people don’t get to see and do.”
For a moment, she said nothing. Then she managed to say, “It sounds great. Where do your parents live now?”
Mike turned to her. She’d sat back down—on the edge of the chair, as if poised for flight. “Oklahoma City. I’m their only kid, which of course makes Aaron their only grandchild.”
“And he’s such a sweetie. They must miss him.”
Mike realized he was staring at her. Forcing himself, he swiveled toward the window again. “Yeah. I take him there two or three times a year, or they come and get him. It’s okay for now. But it won’t be when he starts school, though.”
Thinking of his son, just like he wanted Julie to do, Mike didn’t say anything for a minute. He concentrated instead on the dull, heavy throbbing in his heart. When he’d collected his thoughts, he went on. “All my life, my father believed in honesty, loyalty, commitment, patriotism—ideals that are just given lip service nowadays. But he passed those ideals on to me. And I believe in those things. They’re a part of me.”
He heard Julie shift in her chair. But she didn’t say anything.
Not daring to look her way, knowing he’d lose this battle with himself if he did, he trained his gaze down onto Zack Street and absently followed a random car on its course. When it rounded a corner, he went on. “The FBI is about those things, too. After I got my degree, I got recruited right out of the University of Oklahoma. Been with the bureau ever since.”
“It suits you well. You’re a man of integrity.”
Mike gave a self-deprecating snort of laughter. “I used to be.”
“What do you mean?”
He turned to her, leaning a shoulder against the wall. He put his hands in his trouser pockets. “I’m getting around to that. Tory and I met in college, got married after graduation. She started on her career in photography. There were good times. Then Aaron came along. But so did her big opportunity with the travel magazine and gallery shows, stuff like that. She decided she needed the acclaim and the excitement more than she needed us. So she split. Aaron wasn’t even a year old.”
“Oh, God, that must have been tough. How could a mother leave her child like that?”
“That was pretty much my reaction. Since Aaron was born, I’ve been transferred from Atlanta to Boston to here. And he’s not four years old yet. Its been tough on him, but he’s a trouper.”
She sighed. “But now there’s Caroline to be home with him. Isn’t that what you want me to say?”
He straightened up. She was beginning to see the thread of this conversation. “I met her a little over a year ago. We started talking about kids. She’s passionate about them, and we really hit it off. Then, about the time we got engaged, I got transferred here.”
“Good old Uncle Sam. He doesn’t have much respect for relationships, does he?” She smiled, but hurt dawned in her eyes. “Do you love her?”
It was the same question he’d been asking himself lately. “I love a lot of things about her.”
Julie cocked her head at him. “Heck, so do I. But that’s not what I asked you.”
Mike frowned fiercely. “I asked her to marry me.”
“That doesn’t count. Sal just asked me to marry him.”
Like a cornered animal, Mike attacked. “Well, unlike you and Sal, Caroline and I are getting married.” He hated himself when Julie’s smile turned brittle, but he pressed on with his point. “And now you know about me. Honor. Commitment. Dedication to family. Three things Tory never had. Her career came first. It always did. She didn’t let anyone—not even her son—stand in her way.”
Julie quickly looked down, but Mike saw the wet brightness in her eyes. “Like me, according to you.”
An act of sheer will was all that kept the wrenching pain in his heart off his face. “Like you. In some ways. In others, not at all.”
“But in the ways that count with you?”
For two cents, I’d leap right out that damned window. “Yeah, Julie. In the ways that count with me, you remind me a lot of Tory.”
She stood up abruptly, forgetting her purse. It hit the carpet with a muffled thud. “Do you care anything about me at all?”
He couldn’t lie. “More than you’ll ever know.”
“Then, why won’t you fight for me?”
“Who would I be fighting?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe the way you were raised? Maybe your own damned sense of what’s right and wrong? What about what’s right for me? For you? Doesn’t any of that count?”
“This is what I am. My wedding is less than two months away, Julie. I can’t just pull out. Not at this point.”
Julie put her hands on her hips. Defiance rose in waves from her stance. “Why can’t you? Is it honorable to marry the wrong person? Haven’t you already done that once?”
Stung, Mike retreated to stubbornness. “I gave my word, and I’ll keep it” The words hung in the air like a pregnant pigeon.
“Well, then, I suppose that’s all that needs to be said. You love Caroline enough to let her raise your son. To me, that seems unfair to her. You also say you care about me. But not enough to be with me. So, what am I supposed to think? That I’m good enough for one night, but not for a lifetime because I work, like your ex-wife? You think all working women abandon their families? Come on, Mike, get real. God forbid there should ever be a breach of honor on your record.”
She stepped over her purse and walked toward him. “I hope you and Caroline are very happy. You’ll understand if I’m not at the wedding?”
Mike wanted to rage, but how could he? He’d made his decision. “I don’t want it to be like this. I swear I don’t.”
She laughed harshly. “How can I believe that, Mike? If you won’t fight for me. then there’s nothing left for me to say. Or do. But before I go, I just want to note two things here. One, we’re nowhere near a rest room for this big moment. And two, I get to walk out on you for once.”
JULIE MADE IT AS FAR as her car before she burst into tears. What an idiot you are. What did you hope to accomplish by coming here? She turned her tear-stained face away from the impersonal parking garage with all its accusing cars. Had she thought Mike would make some undying pledge of love to her and just toss aside all his plans? Idiot, idiot, idiot.
Pulling a tissue from her purse, she dabbed at her eyes. Then, leaning into her car, she folded her arms on its roof. Just as she lowered her head to the comforting circle they made, another wrenching sob escaped her, echoing sharply in the cement cavern.
“Julie?”
She stiffened and then spun around. “Sal!” She immediately wiped her eyes.
“You okay, kid?” He put a large hand on her arm.
She waved away his concern, even as she fought the quivering of her chin. “Yes.” It came out all watery and sobby.
“No, you aren’t Come here to Sal.” He ope
ned his arms, offering comfort.
Julie hesitated only a moment before moving into his embrace. He felt warm and solid and…and big. Pressed to him, with her hands and her tissue over her face, her shoulders shook as she cried. Sal held her loosely, patting her back awkwardly and as gently as anyone of his size could. Held by him, Julie felt like a child. Between sobbing bouts, she told him what had happened upstairs.
“There, there, Julie,” he soothed, stroking her hair. “I think I need to kick me some Oklahoma cowboy butt. Would that make you feel any better?”
Julie nodded vigorously. “Y-yes. Can I help?”
Sal chuckled. “Sure, I’ll hit him high, and you hit him low.”
Julie smiled into his stiffly starched shirt and then pulled back. Sal loosened his hold, but still kept her in the circle of his embrace as he looked down at her and raised his eyebrows in question. Julie repeated her smile for his sake. “I feel better now.”
“Yeah. The thought of a good beatin’-up always cheers me, too.”
Julie laughed, despite herself. And then leaned forward to kiss Sal’s cheek. She pretended not to notice the explosion of red on his face. “Thanks. You’re a great guy, you know. Maybe I ought to marry you.”
His brown eyes warmed for the barest of seconds, but then he released her abruptly and snapped his fingers. “That reminds me.” He reached into an inside coat pocket and produced a small, clear-plastic ball from a gumball machine. Inside it was a shiny gold ring, fake stone and all. He held it out to her. “Here. I got you this. I got you a soda, too, but I drank it.”
Julie fell in love with Sal right then and there. “Oh, Sal. It’s beautiful.” She put a hand to her heart and smiled, even as she blinked back fresh tears. “You shouldn’t have.”
He acted all fierce and forbidding as he laid it in her palm. “Go ahead—take it. It cost me five bucks’ worth of quarters to get that.”
Julie held the plastic ball to her heart and smiled up at the big, rough-hewn, warmhearted man. “I’ll cherish it always.”
Sal scowled fiercely and looked all around, as if hunting for an enemy. “Yeah, well, don’t wear it for real. It’ll probably turn your finger green.”
A Man In Demand Page 11
