by Sharon Sala
The knot in his belly grew tighter, increasing the urge to cry, but guilt wouldn’t let him release the pain. After what he’d done to his family, he deserved misery.
His head was spinning with questions when he suddenly thought of Aaron Coulter. During John’s high school years, Aaron was the star quarterback of the high school football team. Then during his senior year he’d blown his knee, lost his chances for an athletic scholarship, and gone into his daddy’s line of business instead. That it was mostly illegal hadn’t bothered Aaron, since it was all he knew, but it had been the beginning of the end for the circle of friends he’d once had. However, John knew that if his dad had been in trouble, or pissed off the wrong people, Aaron would know.
He called information for Aaron’s number then made the call. Just when he thought it was going to go to voice mail, Aaron answered in a gruff, sleep-husky drawl.
“It’s too fuckin’ early for chit-chat, so you better have somethin’ good to say.”
John grinned. Aaron never had been one to temper his words.
“Hey, Aaron, it’s John Sadler. Sorry I woke you.”
Surprise shifted Aaron’s focus as he threw back the covers and sat up on the side of the bed.
“John. Heard about your mom and your old man. Sorry as hell that happened.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Poppy called me last night. I’m on my way home.”
Aaron rubbed the sleep out of his eyes then put the call on speaker phone, grabbing a pair of jeans as he talked.
“I know this ain’t no social call, so what’s up?”
“Poppy said Dad got fired last week but he didn’t tell anyone. As far as we knew, except for my mom’s health, nothing was wrong. I got to wondering, if he was in trouble because he’d borrowed money from someone then couldn’t pay it back… maybe you might have heard something about it.”
“No man, this was a big shock to everyone. Your dad was a straight arrow. Everyone liked him.”
“Someone didn’t,” John said. “Someone pumped three bullets in his body and threw him in the Little Man and I want five minutes alone with the bastard who did it.”
“I hear you, man and I’d feel the same. Look. I’ll drop a few questions and see what turns, but I can’t promise anything.”
“I appreciate it, Aaron. You know I do.”
“Yeah, sure. I guess I’ll see you around when you get back. Tell Poppy I’m real sorry.”
“Yeah, see you around,” John said. “If you hear anything, call me back at this number. Sorry about waking you up.”
“No biggie. Later, dude.”
“Yeah, later.”
The call ended. John dropped his phone in the console and finished off his coffee then threw the empty cup into the floor along with a half-dozen others and hit the accelerator.
****
According to the advertisement at Edison Funeral Home, they’d been in the business of burying since 1933. Poppy had seen the building plenty of times but had never been inside. There was a first time for everything.
Her gut tightened as she entered the lobby. An overpowering scent of too many flowers with an underlying scent of something medicinal went up her nose. It left her feeling somewhat uneasy, as if it was there to mask a more offensive smell.
Logically, she knew her mama’s body was here being prepared for viewing, but there wasn’t anything the undertakers could do to it that cancer hadn’t already destroyed. As sad as she was, she wouldn’t wish her mama back to suffer one second more. She had Mama’s things in the bag and the wedding ring on her finger. This was the last physical act she could do for her and she wanted to do it right.
The sound of footsteps alerted her that someone was coming, and then recognized Truman Epperson, one of The Depot’s regular customers. It occurred to her that this was the first time he’d be serving her needs rather than the reverse.
“Miss Sadler. Please accept my condolences for your loss,” he said.
“Thank you, Mr. Epperson.”
“Please, call me Truman. I see you’ve brought a bag. Let’s see what dress you’ve chosen, okay?”
Poppy handed it over and waited as he sorted through the things.
Truman pulled out the dress, shaking it gently to straighten out the skirt. “May I say that pink is a beautiful choice. And the other things in this bag... the under garments, I assume?”
Poppy nodded. “Yes, and I added socks. I know you said shoes weren’t necessary, but her feet were always cold. I know it doesn’t matter to anyone but me, but I want the socks on her feet. Is that okay?”
“Absolutely,” Truman said. “Anything else? Any jewelry or mementos you want with her?”
“Oh, yes! And this, too,” she said quickly, pulling the ring from her finger. “It’s Mama’s wedding ring. She got so thin that it wouldn’t stay on, but she would want to be wearing it. Is there a way you can-“
He touched her shoulder in a brief gesture of understanding.
“Of course, Miss Sadler. That won’t be a problem.”
“Is there something I need to sign, or-“
“Not a thing, my dear. Your father was most thorough in his preparations. Everything is paid for, including a large floral spray to go on your mother’s casket. And, you’ll be pleased to know that the flowers Jessup chose were pink. Your father had already spoken to your pastor, so he was forewarned about holding the service at your church. He’s just waiting for you to set a date and time.
The knot in Poppy’s throat began to swell. Daddy had thought of everything, including Mama’s favorite color.
“Today is Thursday. My brother, John will be here by tonight and he’s the only person we would be waiting on. So if it’s all right, I would like to hold the service Saturday morning at 10:00 a.m.”
“Certainly. I’ll let the pastor know and I’ll notify the newspaper.”
Poppy gasped. “Oh no. I completely forgot about the obituary. It’s going to be too late to get it in the paper in time.”
“My goodness. Your parents kept you in the dark about a lot of things, didn’t they? You don’t need to worry about that either. It’s already been turned in.”
“You mean Daddy had already written it?”
“No, your mother wrote it and her eulogy months ago and brought them to me, herself.”
Poppy felt like she’d been side-swiped and left bleeding on the side of the road. She’d failed. She’d failed both of them by always changing the subject when the issue had come up at home. She couldn’t imagine what had been going through her mama’s mind as she wrote her own obituary but it made her sad.
“Well then. I guess that’s that,” she said. Her lips felt numb and the room was beginning to spin. She didn’t know if she was going to get through this or not. “When can I... I mean, I want to see her before... before-“
“I can assure you we will not begin public viewing until the family has been here first.” Truman glanced at the clock. “It’s a quarter to ten. If you can be back here after two, we’ll have her ready, okay?”
Poppy didn’t trust herself to speak, so she nodded.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked.
Tears were burning at the back of her throat.
“Before Mama got sick, she was a pretty woman.”
“Yes, I remember,” Truman said.
Poppy took a deep breath, but it didn’t help. Despite her best intentions, she began to cry.
“Make her pretty again.”
****
Justin was in a meeting with shift managers from the Caulfield paper mill, trying to define a policy issue when his secretary knocked on the door.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but the hospital is on line two for you.”
Justin tried not to panic, but when it came to Callie, there was reason.
“Gentlemen, you must excuse me. I need to take this,” he said, and headed for his office to take the call in private.
The scent of fresh coffee and the banana
nut muffin he’d eaten at his desk less than an hour earlier still lingered. His hands were shaking as he picked up the phone.
“Justin Caulfield.”
“Mr. Caulfield, this is Dr. Summers. I have some good news for you.”
The relief was so great he felt weak. He sat down in his chair with a thump.
“We could do with good news. What’s happening?”
“Callie’s lungs are no longer bleeding. We think we’ve turned a corner.”
And just like that Justin went from despair to disbelief.
“Oh my God, that’s wonderful news! Does this mean she’ll begin to get stronger now?”
“Eventually. It’s going to take time to rebuild her immune system and strength. I wish we could say the same about the renal tests we ran again this morning, but I’m sorry to say that the facts were conclusive. Her kidneys don’t function in any capacity and there’s no chance of reversal.”
Rage hit him like a fist to the gut. That was just like that elusive God his mother was always quoting. Hand him a miracle with one hand and slap it away with the other.
“So, we’re talking kidney transplant, right?” Justin asked.
“Yes. With your permission, we will enter her name on the list.”
Justin frowned. “Of course you have my permission. I’ll sign anything that needs signing when I get there this evening, but how long do you think it will be before a kidney will become available?”
“Since you can’t donate, your mother is too old, and you’ve assured me there are no relatives left who might come forward as a match, this means she goes to the transplant list like everyone else. There’s just no way to predict a time line. As you know, usually someone has to die first, and the family of the deceased has to be willing to donate organs before the option even arises. It’s a sad situation for all concerned. We’ll do all the proper testing to get her registered. Beyond that, it’s wait and see.”
“If it’s a matter of money, you know-“
Summers interrupted. “Justin, in this case, I’m sorry but it’s not. If you had a family member who was willing to be tested and was a match, then the question would be moot. But anonymous transplants are done on a highest-need basis. In other words, the patients who are the sickest are at the top of the list. The ones who have time to spare are farther down.”
“And you’re saying Callie is farther down?”
“I’m saying she won’t be in danger of dying tomorrow from kidney failure. She’s on dialysis now. It’s a hassle for any patient to be hooked up so often, but if it keeps her alive, then that’s all that matters, right?”
Justin frowned. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear but he couldn’t be resentful, not when they were licking half the problem.
“Yes, of course. That’s all that matters. Thank you for calling,” he said.
“Of course. See you later.”
Justin disconnected then shoved his hands through his hair in frustration as he walked to the windows. Whenever he was in doubt, or needed space to think, the sight of the ever-flowing river seemed to center him.
But this thing with Callie – this illness that no amount of money or determination could fix was kicking his butt and he didn’t like it. There had to be a way to circumvent the wait.
He was still looking at the river when he remembered the meeting he’d abandoned and headed back into the conference room with a smile on his face.
“Gentlemen! Good news! My daughter’s health is improving. She’s turned a corner in her treatment and things are looking up.”
****
For the first time since Amelia Caulfield’s return from Florida, she was beginning to believe her granddaughter might survive. Knowing Callie’s healing had begun was what they’d been praying for, but her joy was soon tempered by the cold, hard facts of her granddaughter’s perspective.
“Is it good news, Nana?” Callie asked. “Am I better?”
Amelia clapped her hands as she leaned over the bed and gave Callie a hug.
“Yes, my darling, you are getting better.”
“When can I go home? I’m so tired of this place and these machines. I can’t wait to get back to school and spend the night with Sheila and-“
“Wait, wait,” Amelia said. It was obvious Callie didn’t grasp the enormity of what had happened to her. “Yes, you’re getting better, but you won’t be able to do a lot of that until we work out a schedule for your dialysis.”
The look on Callie’s face was nothing short of pure horror as she stared, first at the dialysis machine, then back at her grandmother.
“What do you mean? You said I was better.”
“Your lungs appear to be healing, but your kidneys will not.”
Callie’s face registered her shock. “What’s going to happen to me? Will I always be hooked up to that machine until I die?”
Amelia was disconcerted. Justin needed to be the one dealing with this, not her. But he wasn’t here and the questions were coming faster than she could think.
“No, no, that won’t happen. You’ll get a kidney transplant and then things will be different. You’ll see.”
Callie’s heart was beating very fast like it did when she was afraid.
“Nana, do you believe in heaven?”
Amelia brushed a bit of hair from the corner of Callie’s eyes and then smiled.
“Yes, I do. Do you?”
Callie frowned. “I’m not sure. I think so, but it’s scary to think about dying.”
“You’re not going to die,” Amelia said firmly.
“Everyone thought I would. I heard them talking. Something could still go wrong. What if they can’t find a new kidney for me?”
Now Amelia was angry. How dare anyone speak negatively where the girl could hear? She was going to have to have words with Justin about this.
“But they will find a kidney, my darling, they will. I promise. You need to stop worrying, okay? Dr. Summers and your Daddy and I are going to take care of everything. All you have to do is keep getting stronger.”
Callie looked past her grandmother’s face to the windows beyond.
Amelia felt as if she was looking at a stranger. Callie’s face was pale and her eyes so sunken it was almost like looking at a corpse.
“But Nana, if I get a transplant, doesn’t that mean someone has to die first in order for me to live?”
Amelia blinked. Dear lord, but they had been living in a bubble, thinking Callie was unaware of the implications. She had to be careful not to scare her, but help her understand the seriousness of the situation.
“Not necessarily. People have two kidneys, but they can live a long normal life with just one, so sometimes people donate a kidney to someone else. Okay?”
“Can you donate one to me, Nana?”
Amelia sighed. “No, and it breaks my heart. I’m too old and not so healthy. You wouldn’t want one of mine. It wouldn’t last long enough to make you better. I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, besides, don’t worry. Daddy can give me one of his.”
Amelia shook her head. “No, he can’t. Remember when your daddy got sick when you were little and spent all the time in the hospital?
Callie nodded. “That was before Mommy died.”
“Yes, before your mommy died. So when he got sick, it made his kidneys sick too. When he began to get well, one got well but the other didn’t. Now he only has one, which he has to keep.”
She watched Callie’s eyes widen as the seriousness of the situation sunk in. Her chin began to quiver.
“Maybe I’m not supposed to live to be an old woman. Maybe I’m supposed to go live with Mommy in heaven.”
Amelia wanted to weep. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Callie’s shoulders and pulled her close. Callie had enough courage. All she needed was strength.
“We’re not going to worry about this. This is out of our hands. God is good and He will take care of you. I have faith that is so.”
<
br /> “Don’t worry, Nana. Whatever happens, I’m not afraid.”
****
Poppy parked in front of The Depot, then smoothed down the front of her blouse before going inside. Since she wasn’t on duty, she wasn’t going to slink in the back door like a step-child.
Vic saw her within moments of her entrance, and waved.
Two of the waitresses stopped long enough to stare then looked away.
Poppy frowned. What the hell? She hadn’t done anything wrong, so why was everyone treating her like a pariah?
“Poppy, it’s good to see you,” Vic said. “We’re all worried about you, you know.”
“How would I know that?”
Vic blinked. “Why, I just assumed some of the girls had given you a call.”
“No one from work has called. I came to pick up my paycheck.”
Immediately, he was on the defensive. “Sorry. Did you get the flowers? We sent you flowers and everyone signed the card. No, what am I thinking? I only called that in this morning. They probably haven’t been delivered yet.”
Vic didn’t know what else to say and she wasn’t helping the conversation with her silence. He needed to get her out of the restaurant. He felt sorry for her. It was hell to lose a parent to an illness, but to have one murdered tainted the whole family. It wasn’t fair, but it was what it was.
“So, give me a sec. Your check is in the office.”
She sat down at the counter. Both waitresses walked past her twice before Vic came back. One gave her a nervous look and muttered something about being sorry, while the other flashed a brief smile.
“Here you are,” Vic said, as he handed her the envelope with her paycheck inside. Have you set a date for your mother’s service yet?”
“Saturday morning. 10:00 a.m. at the Church of Angels.”
“I’ll let everyone know,” Vic said. “Remember what I said, when you’re ready to come back, just give me a call.”
“Yes, I remembered, and thank you.”
“Oh, hey, have you heard from John?”
Poppy nodded. “He’s on his way home.”
