by Ranjit Desai
‘I am blessed, Maharaj!’ Prataprao bent down to touch Raje’s feet. ‘Maharaj, please pardon me. That is true—Raje has not yet reached the fort and I wanted to know when he will be arriving.’
Anand closed his eyes and then let out a deep sigh. He looked at Prataprao and said, ‘Beta, there is nothing to worry. Your Raje is fine.’
‘But when will we meet him?’
‘Very soon. I can see you touching Raje’s feet within this week.’
Prataprao was overjoyed. He folded his hands in namaskar and said, ‘Maharaj, if this is true, I will raise my hands heavenwards in praise of the Lord.’ He glanced at the gold bracelets given by Raje to him and said, ‘I will gift these gold bracelets to you. They were given to me by Raje himself.’
‘I would be glad to receive them.’
Prataprao asked, ‘But Maharaj, where would I find you?’
Raje raised his hands up and said, ‘Don’t you worry. I too will be there when you meet Raje.’
Prataprao bent low in namaskar and then marched on with his soldiers. Niraji could not hold his laughter anymore and burst out laughing.
Raje said, his face grim, ‘Niraji, I hope Maa saheb will recognize me.’
‘Raje, a mother will not fail you. Someone who looks at your feet all the time may not recognize you but the one who looks into your eyes can never fail to recognize you.’
#
They finally could see the imposing structure of Rajgad. The sun was high in the sky. Niraji said, ‘Raje, only our good fate has got us here!’
‘Yes, Niraji! It is all due to the blessings of Bhawani Mata. There is one soul there whose blessings we need now. Let us move fast. I cannot rest till I have darshan of those feet.’
Raje reached the first gate and the guards came forward, seeing some mendicants. The havaldar asked, ‘Where do you want to go, Maharaj?’
‘We are on the way to the fort to collect some alms,’ Niraji answered.
‘I am sorry. I cannot allow anyone inside.’
‘Are you saying there are restrictions for us too?’
‘I am sorry, sir. These are strict orders of the Peshwa. I need his permission.’
They were nonplussed. They wondered what to do next when they saw Prataprao, Anandrao and Telangrao coming towards them on their horses. They spotted the mendicants and Prataprao ran forward to touch their feet. He said, ‘Maharaj, why are you standing here?’
‘I have come here for some alms but we were stopped. We were told that Shivaji Raje’s mother is very generous. We are keen to meet her.’
‘Maharaj, I will ask someone to escort you in.’
Prataprao gave instructions and the escort took them up the fort. Jijabai was in her puja room. The idol of Jagdamba stood there silently while Jijabai put some bilva leaves on the Shiva linga. She continued to chant ‘Shiva Shiva’ as she did her puja. Her hands shivered while her body shook involuntarily out of weakness and old age. This puja was her daily ritual.
Moropant came into the room and hesitated, seeing her in the puja room. He coughed to attract her attention.
Jijabai turned and asked, ‘Yes, Moropant? Come in.’
‘Maa saheb, there are four mendicants at the door. They are requesting to meet you.’
Jijabai picked up the bilva leaves saying, ‘Give them whatever they ask for. I am tired of doing everything—donation, giving alms, trying out different pujas. And I am still unable to see my Shivba! I cannot close my eyes for a moment. Send them back with good wishes and a nice donation.’
Moropant went back but the mendicants were adamant to see Jijabai. Moropant came in and informed that they were unwilling to accept anything till they met her.
Jijabai kept the tray on the floor and said, ‘I will see them. I don’t want their curses upon me.’
She got up with a lot of effort. Moropant ran and put out his hand forward to support her. Jijabai recovered and said, ‘See, I seem to be losing balance now.’
‘Maa saheb, you must stop fasting now.’
‘Then why don’t I die?’ Jijabai erupted. She continued talking to herself, ‘Where will that poor lad be? Shivba can take care of himself but my heart goes out to Bal Raje!’
Moropant wiped her tears. Jijabai did not notice that. He said, ‘Maa saheb, after you meet the mendicants, I request you to come to the main hall.’
‘Why, do you want to say something?’
‘We need to take some decisions.’
‘I will come. Wait for me.’
Jijabai walked into the courtyard, supported by Putlabai. Moropant walked on the other side. She came out into the courtyard.
Raje got up seeing Jijabai. He was seeing his mother after so many months! She was wearing a white sari, and her hair had also turned white. Raje had tears in his eyes seeing her so old and tired. He walked swiftly climbing the steps and put his head at her feet. Moropant and Putlabai gasped in surprise while Jijabai tried to walk back a few steps.
‘Oh, this is a bad omen. Since when did bairagis start touching someone else’s feet?’
She heard him say, ‘Maa saheb, don’t you recognize me?’
A million shivers passed through her body. She had been waiting to hear this voice! Moropant and Putlabai watched intently. Jijabai stared at the face of the mendicant. The bright eyes, they bent down as soon as they met her gaze. The same broad forehead and the lovely nose!
Maa saheb exclaimed, ‘Shivba!’
The next moment she hugged him tightly. Shouts of joy erupted in the courtyard. Moropant and Putlabai ran inside when they saw Manohari at the door.
‘What happened, Rani saheb? Why are you running?’
Putlabai hugged Manohari and kissed her before she realized what was happening! She said, blushing, ‘He is back!’
Jijabai came into her room with Raje, who said, ‘Maa saheb, please sit down now. We will speak at length later.’
Jijabai said, wiping her tears, ‘I was praying to Lord Shiva when you arrived in the same avatar!’
The inner quarters were filled with the queens and maids. No one was bothered about protocol. Raje took Jijabai’s permission to step out and meet them. Everyone had surrounded Niraji in the office. They bent down in mujra seeing Raje enter. When they lifted their eyes, they saw Raje crying.
Prataprao could not believe his eyes. He asked, ‘Maharaj, is that you …?’
‘Yes, it is me. Did I not tell you that I too would be present when you meet your Raje? But tell me Prataprao, you are my Senapati but you still failed to recognize me?’
Raje looked at Prataprao, Anandrao, Telangrao, Annaji, Balaji and Moropant who stood there in attendance. He was overwhelmed with emotions. He said, putting his hand on Prataprao’s shoulder, ‘I am truly indebted to you. I was away for months but you did not leave anything to chance and have manged to control things well. I will never be able to repay this debt. Annaji, Moropant—this is your strength. I know you can manage without me!’
Raje could not speak further. His voice was choked with tears.
Annaji Datto said, ‘Maharaj, where is Bal Raje?’
Raje looked at Niraji. He curled his fists and said, ‘You have asked something which I was dreading telling you till now.’ Raje closed his eyes and said, ‘Bal Raje has left me and gone away!’
Raje opened his eyes to find shock on everyone’s face. Raje turned sharply to find Jijabai standing at the door. She had got the answer to the question she had come to ask! Raje exclaimed, ‘Maa saheb!’
Jijabai turned back, crying. She moved forward with rapid steps. Raje did not know what to do. He turned and followed her into her quarters. Jijabai sat on the edge of the bed weeping uncontrollably.
‘Bal Raje! How could you leave me? Whose permission did you take before doing this?’
The palace, whose joy knew no bounds a few minutes back, was enveloped in a deep sorrow. The shock was unbearable. The queens were uncontrollable with sorrow.
Raje said, ‘Maa saheb, listen to me for a mo
ment.’
Jijabai brushed off his hand and said, ‘What do you want me to listen for, Raje? And what else is there to listen to now? An innocent life has been lost in the politics played out by his elders! You should have remembered the promise you made to Sai!’
There was no privacy in the palace. Raje looked around and asked Jijabai, ‘Maa saheb, please come into the puja room.’
‘Puja room? Whom shall I meet there? My balkrishna is no more! What is the point of going into an empty room?’
Raje was unable to hold back his tears. He held her arm firmly and made her stand up. He took her to the puja room and closed the door from inside. He said, ‘Maa saheb, will you please hear me out?’
Jijabai was surprised at his tone. The idol of Bhawani shone in the light of the lamps. Raje was saying, ‘Maa saheb, I wanted to tell you later but have no choice but to tell you now. Bal Raje is safe!’
Maa saheb gasped with shock, ‘Shivba!’
‘I swear in the name of Jagdamba that he is safe. It is not safe for him to come back yet and hence, he is hiding in Mathura. The news of his death should be kept alive. Until he negotiates his way back here, we need to continue with the charade.’
‘Raje!’
‘Listen to me, Maa saheb! I am bound by my oath to protect him. I cannot rest till he is back. The news of his death will reach Delhi and they will stop searching for him. He will be able to return home safely.’
‘Shivaji, these politics of yours are too testing for us poor souls!’
‘Maa saheb, you too have to participate in this game of politics. We cannot afford to let anyone know the truth. His life depends on it.’
Raje escorted Jijabai out of the puja room. She went and lay down on her bed while Raje moved to his quarters. The wailing sound from the queens’ quarters continued for a long time.
#
I
t had been a month since Raje’s return to Rajgad but he had not recovered fully. The heat, the long journey and the constant anxiety had taken a toll on his health. It had been more than four months since Raje’s escape from Agra. He was feverish every few days. The physicians continued their medicines but it was a recovery. Raje was being briefed daily by Moropant, Annaji, Balaji and Prataprao. Raje was overwhelmed by all the love and affection he received from everyone. The men who had accompanied him to Agra too were returning, and he was apprised of the events in Agra.
Ram Singh’s mansab had been cancelled the day Raje escaped. His jagir had been taken away and he was banned from appearing in the durbar. Raje felt bad that Ram Singh was being punished needlessly. He wondered how sad Mirza Raja would be right now.
It was late afternoon when Raje woke up. Soyarabai sat in one corner of the room, busy with her embroidery work. She looked beautiful, engrossed in her task. Raje continued looking at her for a while. She looked up to meet his gaze. Raje asked, ‘When did you come in, Rani saheb?’
‘A while back, but you seemed to have dozed off.’ She continued, smiling coyly, ‘It seems you are in a good mood today.’
‘Rani saheb, happiness is infectious. You seemed happy; and hence I too am happy!’
‘I had requested you to bring me some attar, the Mughal perfume. But you forgot, didn’t you?’
‘I did.’
‘You could have, if you had tried,’ she added with a sigh and then moved to the door.
‘Remember I got the silk cloth from Surat? But this time was different. Though I did get what the younger queen wanted.’
At that moment Putlabai came to the door. She hesitated seeing the elder queen inside when Raje said, ‘Come in, Putla. You were the cause for a fight just now.’
‘It is each one’s fate,’ Soyarabai said in a resigned tone.
Putlabai was nonplussed and kept standing at the door. Raje said, ‘It was just that Rani saheb had asked me to get her something which I forgot to but I got what you had asked for.’
Putlabai laughed and said, ‘It was nothing. I just told him to bring himself back safely, that’s all.’
Soyarabai could not hide her anger. Her nostrils were flaring and she turned red. She got up picking up her items saying, ‘Anyway, as far as there is someone to do the worrying, why should it bother me?’
Soyarabai left in a huff. Putlabai said, ‘As such, she is against me anyway. You have only added fuel to the fire.’
‘I was just joking. Just ignore her temper.’
Raje adjusted the wick in the lamps and they started burning brightly. He said, ‘Putla, I lost something, and I am troubled because of it.’
‘What?’
‘I forgot the Shiva linga which I used to pray to every day. In the hurry to leave, I forgot to carry that one thing with me.’
At that moment, they heard someone calling, ‘Aba!’
Raje’s face lit up. He said, ‘Oh, Sakhu has come to see me!’
Raje ran to the door as Sakhu entered. He hugged her affectionately as she touched his feet. She touched Putlabai’s feet and burst out crying.
‘Sakhu, hold yourself together. Maa saheb has been crying all these months. We need to now steady ourselves.’
Sakhubai wiped her tears. Raje asked, ‘Have you come alone?’
She shook her head. ‘No, Mama saheb has also come with me.’
‘Why don’t you bring them here? Bajaji is not an outsider.’
Sakhubai and Putlabai went down to receive Bajaji. Raje was delighted to see Sakhu. She resembled Sai so much!
Mahadji followed Bajaji into Raje’s quarters. Both father and son bent in mujra, and Raje said, putting his hand on Bajaji’s shoulders, ‘Bajaji, please forgive me.’
‘Why, what happened?’
‘I had to march on Phaltan when I was with Mirza Raja. But my hands were tied.’
‘Maharaj, please don’t worry about that,’ Bajaji said. ‘I got my self-esteem back only due to your efforts. I can never forget that.’
‘That is your large-heartedness,’ Raje said. ‘But I have big ambitions. And I cannot afford to have people like you in the enemy camp.’
‘Raje, my jagir may belong to Adil Shah but this soul is yours. Call me in the middle of the night and I will make myself available. Raje, I was overjoyed hearing of your return. But one eye weeps while the other one smiles.’
‘What can we do? It is our fate,’ sighed Raje.
#
After a few days, Raje’s health improved and he started moving around. He soon left for Phaltan with Mahadji. He returned after a few days and heard that Pilajirao Shirke had come to see him. He was Yesubai’s father. Raje went down to meet him.
Pilajirao was Raje’s age. They had met last at Sambhaji Raje’s wedding in Shringarpur. It had been a political alliance and not celebrated with much fanfare as both Sambhaji and Yesubai were very young. Raje got up the moment he saw him entering. Pilajirao was a man of soil, a strong Maratha. The twirl of the moustache at the ends suited his personality. But Raje could not bear to see how very tired Pilaji looked. The moment Raje put his hand on Pilaji’s shoulder, he started crying. Raje made him sit down and said, ‘Pilajirao, control yourself.’
‘How do I do that? Raje, I was so happy to hear of your return. I assumed that we would hear of Sambhaji Raje soon as well. They were only children when they married, but now she understands everything. How can I tell her not to wear sindoor or her mangalsutra?’
‘Pilajirao!’
‘Raje, I don’t have the courage. I have not told anyone but came here to meet you. I have come to take Sambhaji Raje’s shoes.’
‘Shoes?’
‘Yes, I am a Maratha of the Shirke family. We believe in sati. There is no other option for her.’
A shiver ran down Raje’s spine, and his throat went dry.
Pilajirao said, ‘Raje, when I left she was playing in the garden. She asked me where I was going and she said, “Bring something back for me.” Now I am going to take back his shoes!’ Pilaji said, between his sobs. ‘Raje, what shall I tell her? She is
cursed.’
‘Please don’t speak like that, Pilajirao!’ Raje said, putting his hands over his ears. He went and hurriedly closed the door, his face flushed. Pilajirao looked at him questioningly. Raje came near him and asked, ‘Have you told anyone at home about Sambhaji Raje?’
‘No, I did not dare to.’
Raje told Pilaji the truth under an oath of silence. He was overjoyed by the news. He got up, his body shaking and unsheathed a sword. He said, giving it to Raje, ‘Please take this!’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘On my way here, I went for darshan to our family deity, Bhaveshwari. I took an oath that whoever tells me that the news is false would get the sword as a reward.’
Raje hugged Pilajirao tightly and made him sheath his sword.
Raje was surprised seeing Jijabai at the door to his quarters that evening. He asked, ‘Maa saheb, what brings you here?’
‘Raje, I am told Pilajirao came to see you. I could not bear to meet him.’
‘I can understand that, Maa saheb. I have now sent my loyal men to bring Sambhaji Raje back.’
‘Is that so? When will we see him?’
‘We cannot afford to rush these things, Maa saheb. We need to be cautious.’
‘Any news of Netaji?’
‘The only thing I know is that as per Aurangzeb’s orders, he was to be captured and sent to Delhi.’
‘I pity the poor girl—Saguna is really taking this to heart.’
‘It is Netaji’s fault. Rani saheb has done no wrong.’
‘But won’t she feel bad? After all, Netaji is her uncle,’ Jijabai said. She changed the topic and said, ‘See that you bring Bal Raje back soon.’
‘I am not worried about Bal Raje. I am worried about Madari, Hiroji, Raghunathpant and Trayambakpant. These are men who risked their lives for us. It sends shivers down my spine thinking of their fate. I hope they return soon.’
Jijabai could not say anything after seeing Raje’s worried face. She left the room quietly, leaving Raje to his thoughts.
#
Raje sat for dinner along with Jijabai. Sakhubai sat nearby while Putlabai, Soyarabai, Sagunabai and Kashibai stood. Raje was recounting his journey back to Rajgad while they listened to his anecdotes with tears in their eyes. Raje said, ‘Maa saheb, it is so difficult to be a mendicant. It is not easy to stand in front of a house and shout, “Give me alms!” It really tests your ego.’
