Turning, I walk toward it and pull it from the hanger, unzipping the back of it and step inside. It fits like a glove as I slide my arms through the sleeves and grab the hanger, lining the hook up with the zipper and pull it upward so I’m snug as a rug.
I catch myself in the mirror and lose my breath for a moment. Until now, I didn’t have a hard time believing this day was coming. If I could change anything, I’d just wish for my mother and brothers to be here. Yes, Rafael too. We might hit heads, but he’s still my family and I love him dearly, even if he is too much like our father.
I catch the ring I’ve been wearing for these last few weeks in the mirror. The one Valentin gave me and remove it. I should’ve taken it off when I left Russia because at that point I knew we’d never move forward. I knew in my heart I’d never be able to walk down the aisle and marry him. Thinking of it now, I would’ve done anything to avoid it.
A light rap comes to the door of my bedroom, “Who is it?” I ask.
“Just me, sweetheart,” Maeve’s voice responds, “We need to get going. The ceremony will start soon and our car is waiting.”
“Okay, give me one moment. I just need to put my shoes on.” I slide my feet into the pair of kitten heels that were with the box Maeve left me earlier and approach the doorway, opening it and see her in a beautiful plum gown. Purple is definitely her color.
“You look . . . beautiful,” Maeve tells me with a tear in her eye.
“Thank you so much. You look amazing as well.”
Maeve chuckles, “Yes, well, I always did love dressing up. Being stuck here all the time means I don’t get the option these days.”
“Well, then let’s live it up for the day. Shall we?” I suggest, walking through my doorway and looping my arm with hers. We walk down the stairwell arm in arm, each of us holding onto a side of the railing and one of the Mackenzie security team is downstairs.
“We’re ready to leave now, love. Put some lead in your shoe, alright? We don’t want to give my son or husband a heart attack.” Maeve orders, catching a laugh from her man.
The three of us head outside and get into the SUV. All the boys will stay at the estate with the household. Fionn was worried the boys would make a remark and tell someone about the wedding, especially if Valentin called. He called to check in only a couple days ago. It was less than five minutes, but still. We can’t risk it getting out, at least, not yet.
We’re in the car for about fifteen minutes before we’re pulling down a long driveway, pulling up past a smaller cottage and head toward an even smaller structure with a cross on the top. “This is Father O’Sullivan’s chapel. Every Mackenzie has gotten married by him, and we’ve all been married in this here chapel. Now come, let’s get you inside.”
“Just a moment,” I state, needing to catch my breath as nerves strike through me. I haven’t been nervous at all until now, until I’m maybe twenty feet away from the doorway, minutes away from changing my life forever.
“Are you nervous?” Maeve asks.
I nod once, staring out through the glass window of the car onto the thick wooden door with stained glass in the center. “Yes, you have no idea.”
Maeve places her hands in mine, “Don’t be, Sofia. We are your family now. You aren’t in this alone and there is no reason to fear. We Mackenzies stick together and if I do say so, we’re great at figuring out how to navigate this cursed world.”
I snicker at her response and she opens the door, “You ready?”
“Yes, let’s go.”
Maeve hops out of the car first and holds a hand out for me. I take it and exit the vehicle, walking on the stone path beside her until she places her hand on the handle of the door and pulls it. I’m blown away at the sight, seeing so much stained glass in one place.
But the thing I’m even more blown away by is how Desmond smirks from the end of the aisle with his father by his side. Even Fionn looks as if he’s giving his nod of approval.
Who I assume to be Father O’Sullivan stands in the middle of the aisle, behind Desmond. He holds a Bible in his hand and smiles eagerly as Maeve and I both grow closer. I take two steps up onto the platform and stand directly across from Desmond, while Maeve stands behind me, adjacent to her husband.
Father O’Sullivan clears his throat, but Desmond places his hand up, signaling him to hold off. “Before we begin I need you to know something Sofia,” Desmond takes my hands into his own and stares at me with those caring yet dark eyes of his. “I never dreamed I’d be marrying another woman, but here we are. I’ll promise you the same thing I did to Saoirse. I will honor, love and respect you until the day I die. I will be your shoulder to cry on, and your warrior to fight your battles. But more than that, Sofia, I’m going to look at this as my second chance and I won’t fuck this up. I promise you that. I won’t put you through anything you’ve endured with him.”
Warmth peeks up behind my eyes and tears suddenly start flowing. Desmond brings his hand up and wipes away my tears, “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. You should’ve never been touched in such a way, and I make a vow to you today to not only love you and to honor you in the eyes of our God, but to never let harm come your way.”
“Geeze, what do you even need me here for?” Father O’Sullivan laughs, causing the rest of us to laugh too but what catches me off guard more than anything is how from the corner of my eyes I see Desmond’s body moving closer to mine.
Out of nowhere, one hand slides around my waist while the other is placed against the side of my cheek and he brings his lips to mine. It takes me a second to realize he’s kissing me and once I do I allow my body to soften and not be so rigid. Desmond’s lips flutter slowly over mine and I meet his delicately. Everything he’s just said is reiterated through this kiss and every doubt I had about him before floods out into the Irish air.
We may be facing danger when it comes to my family and the Volkolvs, although I certainly won’t be facing danger with the Mackenzies.
Father O’Sullivan clears his throat, “Oy, I haven’t even started the service yet. Hands off!”
Desmond steps back, letting out a chortle and darts his tongue over his lip. “Mmm, is that peach?”
Now I’m the one laughing. Yep, I don’t think I need to worry about anything right now. I simply need to enjoy this day.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Serendipity (n) finding something good without looking for it
Sofia
One Week Later . . .
The sun rises through the windows of my bedroom and my husband lays down, sleeping comfortably under the blankets. We’re still strangers, but I grow to like him more and more every day. Underneath it all I know I’m not entirely blind this time, walking into this relationship. I had so much hope with Valentin, but I was naïve and stupid. I expected so much. Looking back now, I feel like such a fool.
Now, here I am, looking at the orange mixed with pink pigments of a brand new day. Where I tell Desmond something that scares me more than anything else. Something I hadn’t at all prepared for.
I lost track of time and haven’t been keeping track of my menstrual cycles. I realized after looking at the calendar that I haven’t had a period in . . . well, weeks. Immediately I became alarmed, however I attributed it to stress. That’s what I told myself for the last few days at least, until bouts of nausea hit me at all hours of the day and I confided in Maeve.
She had one of the household staff run out to grab a test and I took it.
Just like my wedding day I had a vision, an expectation of how things would look when I found out I was pregnant. I never thought things would be like this. Married to Desmond, pregnant with another man’s child.
I was in shock at first. Then the fears settled in, and soon after that, the tears. Maeve was the first person I told, knowing how I didn’t want to tell Desmond yet. She assured me he’s a man of his word and he’d protect us, as every Mackenzie would . . . but how?
For the last few days I’v
e avoided caffeine completely. Although I’ve been really paying attention to what I’m putting in my body. Not too much fish, lots of vegetables and rarely any carbs. I try to eat lots of protein but the smell of chicken is enough to make me vomit on command.
I turn from the window and look back to Desmond with his copper hair scattered across his head. He’s shirtless, in a pair of silky emerald green pajama pants with an arm behind his head. After a week of sleeping side by side I’ve learned this is his preferred sleeping position.
He flutters his eyes open slowly, smiling softly and furrows his brows. His voice is thick and crisp like it is every day before his cup of coffee. “Want to tell me what’s caused you to look so . . . freaked out?”
I have two options right now. I can either play it off like it’s not a big deal at all, or I can let all of my fear flood to my husband and hope he can figure it out for the both of us. If my mother were here she’d tell me I’d have three options and to choose wisely, recommending I be the strong girl she raised. Truthfully, I don’t know which option I’m choosing. I simply allow my words to fly from my mouth, “I’m pregnant.”
Desmond’s eyes widen and he blinks a few times before nodding. We’ve kissed a few times but we haven’t had sex. We’re not at that point yet. I still want to learn more about him, and he’s admitted he doesn’t want to rush into anything either. He does me the service of not asking if it’s Valentin’s. Most men would ask if I had fooled around with anyone else I think, but Desmond knows my character. He knows when I say I’m committed, I’m committed. Ironic, isn’t it?
He gets out of his slumped, bedridden position and throws his legs over the side. After he runs his hand over his jaw he looks at me and it’s as if I know what he’s going to ask. “What would you like to do?”
He’s asking me in a roundabout way if I’d like an abortion. “I want to give birth to this child, but . . . Valentin will be able to figure it out, Desmond. We have to prepare for that.”
Desmond rises from the bed and comes right up to me, wrapping his arms around my body and pulls me into a comforting hug. “We’ll prepare for anything we need to. You aren’t alone in this, Sofia.”
I’m sure his words should ease me, but they don’t.
They scare me more than anything else because we all know what the Volkolvs are capable of, and they don’t know about our marriage yet. Neither does my family. Valentin had called a couple days ago to check on the boys and informed me he wouldn’t be able to come get the boys for quite a while, that his issues with Sergei and the Greeks has intensified and it isn’t safe for the children or me. Fionn has told me to play along with whatever Valentin says until he gives me other orders, and all I can wonder is when everything will come crashing down— because we won’t be able to hide this forever.
There will be a time where the truth comes out, and I can only hope we all live through it.
Epilogue
Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had . . . and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.
~ Linda Wooten
Sofia
Months later . . .
“How are you feeling, love?” Desmond’s worry-filled voice asks. I can’t imagine the thoughts flooding through his mind right now. The last forty-eight hours have been the most exhausting time of our life. Or, for me it at least has been.
Pain coursed through my entire body while labor wasn’t progressing as it should’ve. But alas, I got my prize at the end of all this hard work. A beautiful, brown eyed, blonde baby girl. Something I never thought I’d have.
Desmond doesn’t know this but I called Alejandro last week and asked him to come to Ireland. He secured an estate in Canada recently and told our Papa he needed some time away from Mexico to focus on himself and handle other matters. Of course, our Papa didn’t object. He knows Alejandro doesn’t have the same viewpoints as he does anyway, so he allowed him to go. Rafael is more like our Papa anyway.
“I’m okay,” I tell my husband, placing my right hand in his, yet I can sense how he doesn’t believe a word I’ve just spoken. He simply stares at the baby in my arms, wrapped in a soft pink blanket who stares up at me like I’m her entire world.
As much as I want to, I can’t tear my eyes away from hers. I’ve had months to think about what I’d have to do today, about the difficult decision I’d have to make, the thing that would be the best for my daughter. I know I should’ve told Desmond earlier, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear the possibility of him telling me we could find a way . . . because I would’ve believed him, and everything would’ve gotten so much worse.
During my entire pregnancy I didn’t leave the Mackenzie estate often because I was so terrified of what could’ve happened. I haven’t heard from Valentin in ages, but something tells me this war isn’t over. For goodness sake, I’m not dumb enough to underestimate him or his father. Aleks and Aleksei are still in Desmond’s house and with Fionn’s recent death everything will change.
Dios Mio, there’s been so much change lately.
I keep my eyes on my little girl, unable to look away and tell my husband what’s going to happen today. “She will never be safe here, Desmond. You must know that.” My hands begin to shake and suddenly a lump forms in my throat. For months I know what I’d have to do when she came into this world.
“We’re family, my love. We will find a way through this together as we always do.”
“Desmond . . . Valentin isn’t dumb. He’ll be able to figure out she’s his daughter. He’ll come for us, guns blazing, ripping her from our arms, possibly killing the rest of our family in the process. Think of your mother, of Liam, of everyone. Please, think of what’s best for us all . . . but most importantly what’s best for her, because I assure you, coming to this decision h-hasn’t been e-easy.” By the end of what I’m saying tears are flooding from my eyes and I feel nothing but pain, knowing what I’ll have to do. More than anything I know I haven’t anticipated the agony that’s coming my way.
“I don’t like what you’re suggesting,” Desmond admits.
For the first time since she’s been born I look to him, with a trembling lip and try my best not to cry. “Des, we don’t have a choice. I need her to be safe, even if that means she can’t be with me. I love her too much to let anything happen to her.”
Desmond nods once, running his hand over his chin, accepting the reality we’re facing. “What have you orchestrated?”
A light rap comes to the door and I see Maeve crack it open, but she isn’t alone. For the first time in far too long I see the one man I’ve always been able to trust. My brother, Alejandro. He wears a buttoned black shirt with his tattoos coming down his sleeves, with a series of gold chains adorning his neck.
The sight of him causes me to lose any sense of control I’ve had. “Oh, Sof’ . . .” He mutters, and I can tell his heart is breaking for me. He knows how this will end, how I’ll tell him to rush off with her before I change my mind. How I’ll miss out on every opportunity to see her grow up into the fabulous woman I know she’ll be.
“Ale’,” I murmur softly as he approaches my bedside and presses a kiss to my forehead.
“Dios Mio, she’s bonita. So beautiful. You’ve done so good.”
I take my right hand and wipe under my eyes, “I’m sure you know I don’t want to do this,”
He nods, “I know, Sof’. Believe me, I know.”
My lip trembles even worse than before, “You’re the o-only person I trust to t-take care of her.” I shut my eyes and try to stop the tears from rushing down my cheeks but it’s no use. I won’t be able to stop them at all.
Alejandro continues to nod, brushing his hand back over my hair. “I know, Sof’. I won’t let you down, I promise you that.”
I’ve slowly prepared myself for this day since I found out I was pregnant, knowing she’d never be able to stay with me. I knew Valentin would find her somehow if she stayed and I refused to ever allow that to become a
possibility. If he were to have her . . . I fear for what he’d do, how he’d use her in the way my father used me.
“Her name is Leticia, Leti for short.” I tell him.
“A proper name, full of happiness and joy. That is the meaning, right?”
I nod instead of responding, handing my newborn baby girl to my brother, knowing in my heart he’ll do everything in his power to protect her. Alejandro reluctantly takes her from my hands and Leticia starts to cry, almost as if she knows what’s happening.
I want to tell her how much I love her, how this will keep her safe but I can’t utter a word. The only sounds coming from my mouth are something that would come from an animal in pain.
“Out, both of you get out!” Maeve declares, being the authoritative tone I need right now. My husband and brother look back at her for a second so she repeats herself and they leave the room, shutting the door behind them.
Maeve rushes to my bedside, places her arms around me and pulls me to her chest as I cry the most I ever have in my entire life, sobbing continuously against her silk shirt. “You have given Leticia a chance at a normal life without fear, my sweet Sofia. You have made the ultimate sacrifice for her today.”
Every word she speaks is true, yet it doesn’t do anything to make me feel better. The only thing I feel is how my heart is being ripped apart piece by piece. I hold Maeve and continue to cry, hoping that at some point everything will begin to hurt a little less.
Authors Note:
Dear Readers,
Deceptive Love: A Dark Mafia Duet (Mackenzie & Volkolv Book 1) Page 11
