Chase stepped closer and squeezed my arm. “You should probably change your locks, Holly. Stay somewhere else tonight until that’s done. Please.”
I didn’t dare look up at him.
Instead, I nodded. “Fine. I’ll stay with you, Alex, but just for tonight.”
“Great. I’ll wait with you until you pack up a few things.”
“Actually, I’ll stay with her.” Chase shifted toward my siblings. “Why don’t you both go ahead and go? I’ll make sure she’s okay.”
Alex raised an eyebrow. Instead of a smart remark, she shrugged. “Fine by me. It will give me a chance to spruce up my guest bedroom.”
Ralph looked back and forth between Chase and me. “I guess I’ll run, too.”
I wanted to beg both of them to stay. I didn’t want to explain myself to Chase. And, though I knew I wasn’t obligated to, I knew I would attempt to do just that.
Queasiness jostled in my stomach as soon as both of them left. Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes up to meet Chase’s. I crossed my arms and pressed my lips together, remembering that kiss.
“Is it true?” Chase’s eyes looked smoky, intense.
“Is what true?” I wanted to forehead smack myself. Of course I knew what he was talking about. I was buying time, trying to put off the conversation, if only for a few seconds longer.
“You were saving your first kiss for marriage?”
I pulled my arms tighter across my chest. “It’s complicated.”
“Then give me an uncomplicated version.”
“It’s really nothing that you should concern yourself with.”
“I kissed you tonight, Holly. Of course I’m curious. More than curious, truth be told.”
I sucked in a long, deep breath, wishing I could hide under a rock somewhere. I looked away. “I decided in high school that I would save my first kiss for my wedding day.”
His eyes widened. “Then . . .? Tonight . . .?”
How did I even approach this? I hadn’t intended on kissing him. I hadn’t given it much thought at all, really. Maybe that was my problem. I’d stopped thinking and started feeling.
“Things change, Chase. I don’t know what else to say.”
“I feel like I took something special from you, and I don’t say that lightly. I’ve kissed . . . plenty of girls. I’ve kissed—” He ran a hand through his hair and stepped back, obviously frustrated. “I’ve kissed girls who meant nothing to me.”
His words were like a slap in the face. I was like nothing to him. “I get what you’re saying.”
He shook his head adamantly. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.” He looked toward the ceiling. “What am I trying to say?”
I put my hand on his arm. “Look, Chase, that kiss had no strings attached. You didn’t ruin me for life. You didn’t destroy my dreams or taint me. Life happens. Views change. I don’t know what else to say. Just don’t read too much into it. Really.”
He stared at me. His mouth opened, like he wanted to say more. But then he shut it again and nodded. “You should get your things.”
I stepped toward the stairway, grateful for an excuse to get away. “You’re right. I should.”
I hurried upstairs, wondering why life had to be so complicated.
CHAPTER 30
I didn’t sleep well at Alex’s house. Plus, there was the fact that she got up every morning at 5:00 a.m. to run. She came back at precisely 5:30 and drank coffee that percolated, thanks to a timer, while she ran. She fixed steel-cut oatmeal, topped with frozen berries and nuts, along with a green smoothie.
I wished it were my sister’s routine that kept me awake, but truthfully I hadn’t slept well all night. There were too many thoughts turning over in my mind. I thought about the intruder in my house. Why had he been there? Certainly he had a purpose, yet his motive still wasn’t clear.
Then there was my kiss with Chase. I wished I could put it out of my mind, that I could stop thinking about it. But every time I closed my eyes I could feel his warm lips on mine. I could feel his hands drawing me closer. I could feel my heart racing.
All of those images disappeared when I replayed the conversation where he’d learned that he was my first kiss. I wished I were stronger, that I didn’t feel a touch of humiliation about the whole incident. But there was something unnerving about it.
I’d been so strong for so long. So why had I let him kiss me? Why hadn’t I stopped him? Why Chase of all people? Maybe it was because I realized I might die without ever being kissed, and that seemed like a crying shame.
I couldn’t exactly explain that to him, though.
Tired of my thoughts, I pulled a robe on and stomped downstairs. Alex looked way too perky as she read the newspaper at the kitchen table.
“Morning, sis.”
I grabbed some coffee and plopped down across from her. “Hey, Alex.”
“You look awful.”
“Thanks.” I ran a hand over my face.
“Are you feeling okay?”
Not really. I hadn’t felt well in a long time, and it was only going to get worse from here. “I’m fine. Just a bit overwhelmed, I guess.”
“That was so strange what happened last night. The only thing I can surmise is that you walked in in the middle of a robbery. Whoever it was didn’t have time to finish what he started.”
I nodded, rubbing the edge of my mug. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Either way, it could have turned out much worse.”
“Absolutely.”
She stood and put her bowl in the sink, rinsing it with some water. “So, what’s going on with you and Chase?”
I looked up, surprised. “Me and Chase? Nothing.”
“Don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ He couldn’t take his eyes off of you last night.”
“He was doing his job and making sure I was okay.”
She raised her thin eyebrows. “Keep telling yourself that. But, while he couldn’t stop watching you, you avoided his gaze like your life depended on it.”
I supposed this was what happened when you had an assistant district attorney for a sister. Not much got past her. That worked great for the justice system, but terrible for me. “You’re reading too much into it. We’re friends. Plain and simple.”
“You want to know what the weird thing is?”
I tapped my finger on the table. “I don’t know if I do or not.”
“I could actually see you two together. I think you could handle each other.”
“Handle each other?”
“I mean, you could complement each other. You have enough in common and enough differences, too. The differences make the relationship interesting; the things in common keep the relationship together.”
Just then, my cell phone rang. I glanced down, drawing in a breath when I saw Jamie’s number. She hadn’t talked to me since our argument. Had she finally decided to forgive me?
I stood and paced over to the corner for some privacy. “Jamie?”
“Hey, Holly.” Her voice cracked. “I need your help. It’s John. We haven’t seen him since yesterday morning, and he’s not answering his phone. I think something is seriously wrong, Holly.”
***
I sat on the couch beside Jamie and squeezed her hand while Mama Val explained everything to Chase.
I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Little T whispering with Abraham that night after I left the youth center. Then John had met up with Little T, and they’d disappeared somewhere together. I hoped I was reading too much into things, but it appeared I wasn’t.
“My baby always comes home to check on me. He just wouldn’t do something like this.” Mama Val dabbed a tissue under her eyes.
“Has anything suspicious happened lately? Has John acted in any way out of the ordinary?” Chase asked.
Mama Val shook her head while Louis patted her hand. “No. Nothing. He was on the straight and narrow. He’d turned his life around.”
“Turned his life around from what?” Ch
ase asked.
“He got involved with some bad people in high school. That’s when I pulled him out of his public school and enrolled him in a private school. I had to work two jobs to pay his way there. But I didn’t want my son to get caught in that trap of being with the wrong people and doing the wrong things.”
“I see. And that worked? He stopped hanging out with the wrong crowd?” Chase held a pen and paper in his hands, jotting notes.
She nodded. “It did. He started working part-time at that sports complex. He plays basketball in his free time. He goes to church every Sunday.”
Chase nodded. “I’ll need a list of his friends. Anyone that I can talk to who might know something.”
“I already made one.” Mama Val handed him a piece of paper.
Chase stood. “I’ll see what I can find out.”
“I appreciate it.”
I squeezed Jamie’s hand one more time. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered.
I walked Chase outside, all the way to his car, before saying anything. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was to face him right now, to see any more questions in his eyes. But there were bigger issues than my humiliation at stake.
“You doing okay this morning, Holly?” he asked, his voice low and intimate.
I nodded. “Me? I’m fine. I’m the least of my concerns. There’s something I thought you should know, though. I didn’t want to say it inside, just in case there’s nothing there.”
“Okay.”
“I volunteer at the youth center down on Grand Avenue. When I was leaving the other night, I saw one of the youths—he goes by Little T—whispering to Abraham, the director of the youth center. I ended up following Little T. I saw him meet up with John.”
“You followed someone you were suspicious of? That doesn’t sound very wise.”
I raised my hand. “I know. I didn’t think I was in danger. I was just making sure they weren’t getting themselves in trouble.”
“And if they were—”
“That’s beside the point. John hasn’t been seen since then. I think they picked up on the fact that I was following them, and I lost them.”
“What’s the name of this director again?”
“Abraham Willis. He’s a nice guy, Chase. He and his wife are barely scraping by, but somehow they have money to go on a cruise to the Bahamas in another week or so. I hate to think the worst . . .”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Abraham was my friend, and I’d just thrown him under the bus. Should I give him a heads-up? Should I talk to him first?
If I did that, and he was guilty, then I’d be tipping him off.
I was just no good at this being-deceitful thing.
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll be subtle. Okay?” Chase assured me, seeming to read my thoughts.
I nodded. “Thank you. I really think he’s a good guy.”
“Even good guys can have secrets.” His face clouded as he said the words.
Apparently, Chase had a few secrets of his own.
“Thanks again for everything,” I told him. “I know you’re busy, but I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want to handle this than you.”
“I’ll be in touch.”
I stared at him a moment, remembering the kiss and strangely wanting another one. Did Chase?
His cell phone beeped. His face registered surprise when he looked at the screen. “We just got some results back on those bullets that were fired at you. T.J. is checking it out now.”
“What can you tell me?”
“Nothing. Not yet. But we may have some answers for you very soon.”
CHAPTER 31
“My mom is cooking,” Jamie told me when I came back inside. “It’s what she does when she’s stressed. We’ll have fried chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade biscuits, and everything else under the sun by the end of the day. Save your appetite.”
“And you’ll eat?”
“I have leftover biscuits made from almond flour, fake-out fried chicken made with ground-up pecans and flaxseed, and for the mashed potatoes—”
“Mashed cauliflower instead. Of course,” I finished for her.
We exchanged a smile.
Jamie’s smile slipped as we started up the stairs to her room. It was a good time to slip away, since Mama Val was cooking, the little guys were in school, and Louis was playing on his trombone.
“I’m sorry I was terse with you, Holly.”
“I’m sorry I spoke when I shouldn’t have,” I told her.
“You know I want you to speak into my life. We all need people who are willing to tell the truth. We’ve got to be brave enough to face those opinions, even when they hurt.”
We hugged at the top of the steps.
“All of that said, I think you were wrong,” Jamie said, twisting the door to her room.
I followed her inside and stared at her a moment. “Was I?”
“Look, it seems like heresy to talk about this while my brother’s missing.”
“Nothing wrong with distracting yourself.”
She nodded. “That’s what I’m trying to do. Anyway, I went out with Rex last night.”
I blinked, unable to conceal my surprise. “That was fast.”
“I know you’re supposed to be subtle and play hard to get, but I called Rex right after you left yesterday.” She frowned. “Partly just to spite you.”
I let that comment slide. “And?”
“He asked if we could meet for coffee between campaign events, and we did.”
Was it just a coincidence that Rex had asked out the best friend of his political opponent’s sister? Was he fishing for information? Trying to create a media situation? Or was there a chance all of this was real and sincere?
I didn’t voice any of that out loud. Instead, I said, “How did it go?”
She smiled. “It was nice, Holly. Really nice. I thought he’d have his game face on the whole time, you know? But he didn’t. He was open and honest.”
“Tell me more.”
“We talked about our upbringing. He talked about being a police officer, about losing his brother, about how he wants to turn the city around.”
“Then why’s he going into state politics instead of city?”
“He wants to have as wide a reach as possible. He has all of these ideas for programs that could curb the crime in our area.”
All the questions I could think to ask her would only make me seem like I had ulterior motives. Things like: Did he ask you to write an article on him? Did he mention my brother at all? Fish for any details?
Instead, I tried to be happy for my friend. “I’m glad you had a good time, Jamie.”
She smiled softly. “We’re supposed to go out again tonight.”
“I’m surprised he has time with the campaigning and all.”
Her smile slipped. “It’s actually a campaign event.”
“Oh.”
“I won’t go if you don’t want me to, Holly.”
At first thought, I didn’t want her to. But there were other things to consider. “Life is short, Jamie. If this is what you want to do, don’t let the election stop you.”
She gave me another hug. “Thank you, Holly. That means a lot. It’s nice to feel pretty. I always try to be tough, to act like I’m okay with always being single. But there’s a part of me that wants the American dream, you know? I want a family to come home to one day. I want to find someone who gets me, who understands me and loves me. Is that so wrong?”
“Not at all.”
“Jamie!” Mama Val called upstairs. “Tameka is here.”
I blanched. I wasn’t the jealous type. I really wasn’t. But something about Tameka being here caused not-so-pretty emotions to rise in me.
Life would go on after my death, I reminded myself. I couldn’t expect Jamie to never have another best friend. To not ever have someone else to share inside jokes with or to try and fulfill items on a bucket list.
Still, the id
ea made me more emotional than I’d like to admit.
I glanced at my watch, pretending to be busier than I was. “You know, I should go.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but you promise to call me if you need me, okay?”
“Thanks, Holly.”
I slipped downstairs, nodding at Tameka on my way out.
Dying was going to be harder than I thought.
***
Back at home, I called a locksmith and waited for him to come out. No way was I staying in this house until I figured out how someone had gotten in and out. A key seemed like the only option, and that meant all of the locks needed to be changed as a safety precaution. As I waited, I paced my house, looking for some kind of a sign as to what had happened.
When I saw nothing, I decided not to waste any more time. Mama Val and I had something in common—we liked to cook when we were stressed.
I pulled down my cookbooks. I’d purchased most of them at thrift stores, and they were from the sixties. I liked the recipes because they contained less sugar and more natural ingredients. I wasn’t a health food fanatic like Jamie, but I did try to avoid processed foods whenever possible. And I loved baking.
I found a recipe for lemon pound cake and started mixing, trying to keep my mind off of everything.
Finally, the locksmith showed up.
It should be my dad, I couldn’t help but think. He could have switched these locks and not charged me a dime.
At one o’clock, my phone rang. It was Chase. “Good news,” he started. “We arrested the person who shot at you.”
I braced myself against the counter. “Really? Who?”
“Frank Jenkins.”
“Really?”
“Ballistics match the gun that was in his possession. He had a grudge against you and wanted to make you pay for splitting his family apart. That means he’s got motive and means.”
“How about the break-in at my place? Was he responsible for that?”
“As far as we know right now, he said he has nothing to do with that. We did discover that his house was broken into by those teens, including Anthony and Dewayne. Some of his electronics were stolen and pawned.”
“So, is he connected with the murders?” Hope, along with a chill, washed over me.
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