by Genovese, CM
“Cassie,” he said.
I closed the door behind me. I should have listened to that blonde bartender. I should have thought about the fact that I saw him take her home recently. He’d fucked her too. Why did I expect this to become some sort of thing. It clearly wasn’t. I’d needed to be fucked and he was good at doing the job. Now, I needed to clean myself up.
Standing under the shower’s hot spray, I thanked God I was on the pill. I wasn’t taking them for sex. I hadn’t had enough sex. My doctor back home had prescribed them to me to help with my menstrual related migraines. Without the damn things, I used to find myself curled up in a ball, bawling my eyes out. This, this ridiculous fuck fest I’d had could have ended badly without them.
What. Were. You. Thinking? You want to be a biker baby mama?
Rain was gone when I stepped out of the bathroom. Checking my entire apartment to make sure he wasn’t somewhere else like making a sandwich in the kitchen, it hit me hard that he really was gone. He’d packed up and left, locking the front door behind him, I realized as I checked the doorknob. I leaned against the door in my pajamas and furry moose slippers and let my body sink down to the floor, like I had the day he’d crashed into my apartment.
Once again, I felt horribly alone.
Sue interrupted my thoughts as she reached across the table and snatched a boneless teriyaki chicken thigh off my plate. I’d been so far gone, so deep in my mind, that I’d forgotten I was sitting in this restaurant, in mid-conversation with my new best friend. Thoughts of Rain consumed me and bothered the hell out of me at the same time.
“Sorry,” Sue said. “I love these things.”
“Have at it,” I replied.
“So, y’all a thing or what?”
“A thing?”
“An item, a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend? You know a thing? ‘Cause forgive me for saying this, but that is one hunk of a man.”
“He is,” I said, almost forgetting not to sigh out loud and give away the fact that he’d left in the middle of the night.
I didn’t love him. That was impossible. We barely knew each other.
“So, are you?” she prodded.
“I don’t think so.”
My face betrayed me, and Sue caught on quickly. “Aww, honey, I’m sorry. What happened?”
I wasn’t going to cry over the asshole, but damn if it didn’t hurt talking about him. I wasn’t even sure why I was such a wreck. Hope, I supposed. I’d hoped he’d be around.
Do you really like him though? Or were you simply hoping he’d fill that hollow spot in your heart from missing everyone back home?
My eyes had welled up, and I’d been so deep in thought I hadn’t even realized it. Sue handed me a napkin so I could blot the tears.
“It’s stupid,” I said. “I’m fine. And you warned me on day one.”
“We can talk about it if you want.”
“No, I really don’t want to give him anymore—”
My phone buzzed on the tabletop. I looked down at it and didn’t recognize the number.
“Hello?” I said as I lifted it to my ear.
“Can you meet me at your apartment?” Rain’s whispered voice came through.
“How… how did you get my number?”
“Your friend, Kinsey, remember? She wanted us to check on you?”
Only Kinsey would give my phone number to a motorcycle club. I had to admit, as angry as I was at him for leaving, I couldn’t stop the nervous buzz from taking over my chest.
“It’s him?” Sue whispered.
My face had given me away again. I must have been smiling a little too hard. I nodded at her and she held up a hand to give me a high five. I slapped her hand softly.
“Come to your apartment,” he repeated.
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” I promised.
The phone clicked. No goodbye.
“He hung up on me,” I said, holding my phone away from my face.
“Meh,” Sue said with a shrug of her shoulders and another bite of chicken, “at least he called. You can’t expect too much from these guys. I warned you. Don’t put your heart in it.”
Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. A smile grew on my lips for the second time in the last minute. Somehow, that asshole made me happy. Even when I hated him, I kind of liked him.
“Want my advice?” Sue asked as if my saying no would stop her from giving it. “Don’t fight it. Have fun. Don’t expect the world but take it if it’s offered. If it’s not offered, take a small piece of land out of it.” She leaned closer to me and added, “And by land, I mean get some wild sex out of it. Take what you can get. Give only what you want. When it goes bad, get gone.”
The problem with rain was it came down soft at times, hard as hell at others, and seemed to stop all the sudden. It came and went with no notice. Rain, the man, was no different.
10
Rain
This was either going to go great, or it was going to go so very bad.
Then what? You’ll be stuck with him. You can’t control the future, dummy. When she pulls into the parking lot, you do what you have to do. The rest is up to her.
I’d always been a Royal Bastard through and through. A real cold bastard. The problem was, Cassie had somehow slipped into my body and was warming me up from the inside. None of it made sense either. I’d felt the urge to protect her when the cowboy moseyed up to her at the bar. Then, when she pulled me out to dance, I had no damn desire to do such a thing, but with her it happened whether I wanted it to or not.
And the other night. She was somethin’ else.
I couldn’t get her off my mind. She was like some kind of drug injected straight into my vein. That sweetheart who’d become such a freak in the sheets simply would not leave my mind. She was the perfect damn woman. With anybody else, once we hooked up, it was always them to come dragging me back to their bed, begging for another piece. I didn’t chase anybody, but with Cassie, I was here at her damn door, ready to do whatever it took.
When I saw her friend’s car pull into the parking lot, I waited anxiously for her to step out. She was so damn pretty. That dark, slightly reddish mane of hers falling down over her shoulders. Snow clinging to it. I knew I shouldn’t have left the other night, but I’d fucked up bad with my words, which was always the case it seemed. I had an issue with saying whatever came to mind. Most women brushed it off and climbed back onto my lap.
Not Cassie. She’d have none of that. She held me accountable for my words. She was right. I’d fucked up. I knew she wanted me gone. Instead of forcing her to ask me to leave, I thought I’d make it easy on her and go.
“Come on,” I said as I moved up the stairs quickly and waited outside her apartment.
Cassie was alone when she made it to her corridor. She stepped closer to me and stopped suddenly. She cocked her head to the side and took a few steps closer. When she was only a handful of feet away, she stopped once again and asked, “What is that?”
Peering down at the grey and white, blue eyed, furball husky at the end of the leash I squeezed in my tight fist, I said, “It’s a dog.”
“I know what it is,” she said.
I don’t understand this chick. If she knows what it is, why did she ask?
When I didn’t respond, she added, “Is that your dog?”
“No, it’s yours.”
“What? Rain… I don’t even know if I can have a dog in this apartment. Why would you…?” She stopped and pointed a finger at me. “No way.” She shook her head, closed her eyes, and said, “Companionship. Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of joke?”
“No, not at all,” I said, holding up a hand to ward her off, like it contained some kind of magic spell that might keep her anger from reaching me. “I messed up last night. I never know how to make things right. So, this is just… it’s just me… doing…"
I didn’t know where I was going with this. No explanation made sense.
Wh
y would you buy her a fucking dog when she was mad at you for acting like she needed a dog instead of a relationship? You stupid son of a bitch.
Trish once told me I was too hard on myself. That it probably came from my dad’s tough love and my mom’s lack of being around at all. A lot of my internal monologue consisted of trash talking myself. I let myself get away with a lot of shit I would never let anyone else do.
Cassie came closer and squatted down to pet the husky. “His eyes,” she said. “He’s beautiful, Rain.”
“So’s his mama,” I said, wincing as I said it because it sounded cheesy.
She looked up at me, still squatted down and petting the dog. “You.” She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and laughed. “You are crazy.”
“Crazy ‘bout you, babe,” I admitted. “I’m sorry. I don’t talk so good. I talk more with you than with anybody else. And I say the wrong things a lot. I’m sorry I said—”
She stood up quickly and kissed me. I closed my eyes and almost dropped the leash when I pulled her closer.
“It’s okay,” she pulled away from my mouth and said. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch. I don’t think you meant what you were saying, and I jumped to conclusions, and—”
“Shh,” I said, pressing my mouth to hers to stop her from ruining our moment.
The dog barked. We both laughed.
“He’s jealous already,” she said.
“His name’s Slushy.”
“You named him?”
“He kept trying to eat my lunch and I had to give him a name to stop him. So…”
“Slushy. It’s cute. I like it.”
“You busy right now?” I asked.
“It depends,” she said. “What do you have in mind?”
“I want to take you somewhere. It’ll be fun. But you’ll need to be warm.”
“And Slushy can come too?” she asked.
“Slushy can come too.”
Twenty minutes later, we were in my truck and headed down the back road that led to one of the entrance gates for the Joint Base for Elmendorf-Richardson, or JBER as it was commonly referred to since the U.S. Air Force and Army bases were now combined as one. We rolled to a stop at the gate, and a young kid wearing camouflage and a black beret with security forces insignia at the front, stepped out and asked for my ID.
“I don’t have a military ID, man,” I said. “I called earlier and spoke with—”
“He’s good, Peters,” a loud, raspy voice called out as an old buddy of mine, Staff Sergeant Andrew Galt, made his way out of the warm gate shack and stepped over to shake my hand.
“Sarge,” I said.
“Rain,” he replied. “This the young lady?”
He leaned into my window and glanced over at Cassie. I nodded.
“Cassie,” she said.
“Watch out for this guy, Cassie,” SSgt. Galt warned her.
“Oh, you don’t need to tell me twice,” she replied. “He’s already on thin ice.”
“Seems to be where he likes it,” Galt said. “All right, y’all are good. You know how to get back there, right?”
“Yeah, I remember,” I told him.
“Do me a favor and don’t get caught speeding or going anywhere else. That’s all I need is to have my chief breathing down my neck.”
“Got it. We’re not in a hurry and we have no plans to go sightseeing.”
Galt slapped a palm down against the hood of my truck. “Sounds good then. Have fun.”
The gate faded into my rearview mirror and the two of us were alone, driving down a street hugged by dense forest on both sides. Unlike many other military bases I’d seen growing up or during my time in the service, this one gave you a warmer welcome. It wasn’t the harsh blacktop with cement barriers at the entrance, but natural woods, and with the sun fading overhead, we could have been driving onto a campsite rather than a U.S. Air Force installation.
“You surprise me,” Cassie said.
Slushy’s breath was warm and sticky against my right arm, and when I looked over, he was the happiest puppy in the world with her hand massaging the spot between his ears.
“Surprise you how?” I asked.
I hadn’t done anything special.
“You’re friends with the military,” she said. “I didn’t know you rolled so deep.”
Ha. You have no idea how deep I roll.
“I’m friends with everybody, baby,” I replied.
“Somehow I doubt that.”
This made me laugh out loud. She knew me fairly well for hardly knowing me at all. The rest of the ride, she silently peered out the window at the snow-covered pines and then shifted her gaze left and past me as we drove alongside the flight line and runway. As we wound our way up and around to the back of the base, it was easy to forget we were on a military installation at all.
The day’s limited sunlight was already fading into a dusty fog and the sky had returned to its natural winter grey by the time I parked at the Hillberg Ski Area. During the winter, days were short, and nights were long. Late afternoon and early evening were both little more than dusk.
Cassie looked up at the pure white hill in front of the windshield and gasped. “Are you taking me skiing?”
“I don’t know about skiing,” I said, “but a buddy of mine’s waiting for us. He’s gonna take care of Slushy while we do some tubing.”
“Tubing?”
“Yeah, ain’t you ever been tubing before?”
She peered over at the ski lift and laughed. “On snow? No. In the water, sure, but… no. No, I haven’t.”
The way her eyes lit up grabbed hold of my heart. This would be a first for her, and I loved knowing I’d get a first out of her. I knew nothing about her, so she could have done it all. Or nothing at all.
“Trust me,” I said. “It’ll be fun.”
“Well, lead the way, handsome.”
Snow crunched under my boots as I stepped out to make my way around to her door. She was already out by the time I got there, clutching Slushy’s leash in one hand and slapping her own thigh to get him to leap out of the truck. He obeyed, and I realized there wasn’t an animal on this planet that didn’t easily fall under her spell. She’d tame that dog in no time.
She might tame you in no time too if you’re not careful.
Cassie met me at the front of the truck, and with her glove-covered left hand, she reached out to me. I took her hand in mine and stared at it for a second, trying to figure out how it felt so natural. I wasn’t a hand holder. I wasn’t the cuddling type. With Cassie, things were different.
“It’s only my hand, Rain,” she said, shaking me from my momentary stupor.
“Yeah,” I replied, acknowledging she was right. This wasn’t a ring on her finger. It was hand holding. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckle, and she gave my hand a squeeze.
“Take me tubing,” she reminded me.
I walked ahead of her, practically dragging her by her hand as she watched a couple of people heading up on the ski lift to our far right. To our left, a woman was seated on an innertube that was attached to a long line. It pulled her up the hill. One guy was already up top and was seated on his tube.
The way Cassie watched with such amusement had me grinning from ear to ear, and I couldn’t help coming back to her, standing behind her, putting my arms around her stomach and resting my chin against her shoulder. It felt so natural with her.
“Mmm,” she said. “You like me, don’t you?”
“I think I might,” I admitted.
Her one free hand met my left and her fingers slid through mine at her belly.
“Watch him go,” I said.
The guy launched himself down the hill and yelled, “Wooohooo! Hell yeah!” He came down fast.
“Oh, my God,” Cassie squealed.
“You ready? Come on.”
We didn’t get far before a whistle sounded off from the office or building or whatever the hell they called it. The place with all the equipment and people wai
ting to take my money. That place. George came bounding toward us.
“Rain!” he yelled. “You made it.”
“I told you I would, man,” I said.
“Yes, you did. And this must be…”
“Cassie,” I said. “Cassie, this here’s George. He’s gonna set us up right.”
“And watch Slushy?” she asked.
“Oh, is this Slushy?” George asked as he dropped to his knees and pet the dog much more excitedly than I ever had. “Who’s this beautiful boy? Who is this beautiful boy? Huh? Who is this beautiful boy?”
I’d had dogs at different points in my life, and sure, I’d wrestle with them and play, but I hadn’t ever treated one with such a condescending attitude. I imagined Slushy looking back at this scrawny fellow and thinking, “What in the world is wrong with you, bub? Can’t you see there are ladies around?”
“Oh, he’s a handsome dog,” George said as he finally stood back up.
“So, I gathered,” I replied. “You got the tubes for us?”
“Yeah, come on,” he said as he held onto Slushy’s leash and walked us over to where we could collect our innertubes. He handed one to each of us and walked us over to the line that ran up the left side of the hill.
I threw my tube down onto the ground and took Cassie’s from her to place in front of mine, so I could watch her the whole way up. I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.
“All right, babe,” I told her as I sat down in my innertube with my ass in the hole and my arms and legs out.
She looked down at me and smirked before getting in hers the same way.
“What?” I asked.
“A big bad biker in his MC kutte, sprawled out like you are. I should snap a picture and show it to your boys. I doubt they’d ever see you more vulnerable.”
“Don’t,” I warned her.
“Or what?” she asked as she pulled out her cell phone.
“Cassie.”
“Say cheese,” she said as she held up her phone and snapped a picture downward, getting her full grin up close and my frustrated scowl in the background. She turned and noticed I wasn’t thrilled about the picture, so she added, “Oh, who am I gonna send it to? I don’t even know any of your friends.”
