by James Raven
I sipped at the coffee. It tasted good.
‘How long have you been separated from your boyfriend?’
‘Three months,’ she said. ‘I walked out, took the baby, came here.’
‘That bad, eh?’
She nodded and pointed at her forehead. ‘I have the scar to prove it.’
I raised my brow. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt her like that.
‘What about you?’ she asked. ‘Do you have a wife or girlfriend?’
The question surprised me. I didn’t really want to get drawn into an intimate chat. And yet having spent so long talking only to myself it was a temptation I couldn’t resist. I felt I needed to offload on someone.
‘My wife died seven years ago,’ I said. ‘There’s been no one since.’
How could there be? I’ve been holed up in a tiny prison cell waiting to die.
‘That’s sad,’ she said, and I thought I detected a note of genuine compassion in her voice.
I drank more coffee, tried to decide if I wanted the conversation to continue and if so where I wanted it to go. My mind was rambling as though on a loop and it was hard to control my thoughts. It meant I couldn’t focus and that was what I needed to do. It was obviously too soon to come up with a mid to long term plan, but I had to decide on my next move. I’d managed to secure myself some breathing space. But that was all. There was no point getting too comfortable.
‘Are you from around here?’ Kate asked. ‘Only you look kinda familiar.’
I felt a surge of warm blood into my face. Would she soon see through the feeble disguise and recognize me as the man whose face had been splattered all over the TV and newspapers? That was all I needed.
‘No,’ I said. ‘I’m from a long way off.’
A frown tugged her eyebrows together. ‘Do you have family here in San Antonio then?’
Family.
The word sent a thought cracking through my head like a lightning strike.
My sister Emily!
Why hadn’t it occurred to me before now that she could be in danger? The Feds might assume that I’d make contact with her. And if so they might try to prevent it happening.
I took out Kate’s phone and switched it back on. Emily’s home and cellphone numbers were committed to my memory. But should I call her? Did I really want her to know that I was alive? Would that put her in even greater danger?
‘What’s wrong?’ Kate said.
I didn’t answer. I had to think this one through. There was a lot riding on whatever decision I made. It was a real dilemma. My breathing turned shallow and rapid.
But after thirty seconds I tapped in Emily’s home number on Kate’s phone. I felt I had to warn her. She needed to get away from her house and go somewhere safe.
My God. How was she going to react?
I didn’t get to find out because the call did not go through. It didn’t go to an answering service either. There was just a continuous beep, as though her phone had been disconnected. I tried Emily’s cell and that also failed to connect.
‘Shit.’
The sudden change in my demeanour alarmed Kate. She put her fist against her mouth and bit into her knuckle.
‘I have to go,’ I said, getting quickly to my feet. ‘I think my sister might be in trouble.’
I switched off Kate’s phone, then crossed over to the countertop and picked up her keys.
‘I need your car,’ I said.
I looked down at her, wondering whether I should take her with me. If I didn’t she was bound to call the cops and chances were I’d be stopped during the hour long drive between San Antonio and Mountain City where my sister lived.
But before I could make up my mind I heard something that sent a cold rush of blood through my veins.
Someone was banging on the front door.
19
‘IT MUST BE Frank,’ Kate said.
‘Who?’
‘My ex-boyfriend. Frank Larson.’
‘You said you weren’t expecting anyone.’
‘I’m not, but he’s done this before. He won’t leave me alone.’
‘Then get rid of him.’
‘It won’t be as easy as that. He’s probably drunk.’
She sprang to her feet, clearly mortified at the prospect of a confrontation with her ex-boyfriend. He continued to thump the door and was now shouting to be let in. I took out the gun, felt it necessary to show her that I still had it.
‘Will he go away if you don’t answer the door?’ I said.
She shook her head. ‘He’ll keep on until I let him in.’
I gritted my teeth. This wasn’t good. I could feel the panic starting to churn in my belly.
‘You’ll have to try to talk him into going away,’ I said.
‘And if I can’t?’
‘Then let him in before he wakes the whole neighbourhood. I’ll just have to deal with him.’
I felt a trickle of sweat run down between my shoulder blades. My heart rate started to ramp up.
‘I’m going into the baby’s room,’ I said, and saw the abject fear return to her eyes. ‘You’d better not try anything stupid. If you do there’ll be consequences.’
I grabbed her arm before she could protest and pushed her into the hallway.
‘For everyone’s sake just go and sort it out,’ I said. ‘And if you mention me all hell will break loose. You got that?’
She gulped in air and her jaw hardened. Then she nodded and turned away from me. As she shuffled along the hallway, I slipped into the baby’s room, leaving the door slightly ajar. I peered through the crack, my pounding heart flooding my system with oxygenated blood. The angle was such that I could see into the kitchen and along the hallway. I watched Kate reach the front door and pause, her body stiff and straight.
‘What do you want?’ she shouted.
‘To talk for Chrissake,’ a male voice yelled back from outside. ‘So open the fucking door.’
‘It’s late, Frank. And I’ve got nothing to say to you.’
‘I want to see my daughter.’
‘No you don’t. You want to give me a hard time.’
‘Cut the crap will you?’ he said furiously. ‘If you don’t open the door I’ll come in through a window.’
Kate threw a glance back over her shoulder. I eased the bedroom door open and showed her the gun. She swallowed hard and wiped her palms on her jeans. Then she reached for the lock, twisted it and pulled open the door.
The guy who came bounding over the threshold wore jeans and a black leather jacket. He had cropped hair and looked like he spent a lot of time pumping iron. His nose was splayed and crooked and it gave his appearance a vague warning of menace. He brushed past Kate and strode aggressively along the hall. I expected him to head for the baby’s room and I braced myself. But instead he went straight into the kitchen.
Kate closed the door and followed him. She threw a glance my way and gave a desperate shrug as if to say what am I supposed to do now? I didn’t respond, just peered through the inch-wide gap as she stepped cautiously into the kitchen.
‘I need a drink,’ Larson said. ‘You got any?’
‘Please, Frank,’ Kate pleaded. ‘Go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.’
‘Then you should have answered my calls,’ he told her. ‘I phoned you dozens of times.’
I could hear him opening and shutting cupboards. Kate stood just inside the kitchen door watching him, her arms folded.
‘It’s over between us, Frank,’ she said, her voice starting to crack with emotion. ‘I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t have to. Why can’t you just leave me alone?’
He stepped into view, his shoulders hunched, his face flushed red with anger.
‘You can’t just walk away,’ he said, jabbing a finger at her. ‘Anna is mine too. I’ve got a right to see her.’
‘I can’t trust you, Frank. You know that. The last time you took her out you refused to bring her back.’
&nbs
p; ‘I would have eventually.’
‘That’s not good enough.’
He moved towards her and I saw her body flinch.
‘You’re a callous bitch, Kate. Why can’t you just give me another chance? We can make it work. I can change.’
She shook her head. ‘No way, Frank. You’ve had all your chances. And you blew them by using me as a punch bag.’
He took another step towards her and I was surprised that she stood her ground.
‘I’ve only given you what you deserved,’ he yelled into her face. ‘You’re too fucking disrespectful. I won’t stand for it.’
My pulse was spiking like crazy. I tightened my grip on the gun, curled my finger around the trigger. Things were going to turn ugly. The guy was working himself into a frenzy and it looked to me as though he was about to explode. There was no way he was suddenly going to calm down and leave. He was on a mission to upset his ex-girlfriend. And it was clear to me that his aggression was fuelled by booze.
And then things suddenly got a whole lot worse because the baby started wailing. She gave no warning and I all but jumped out of my skin. I could barely believe that something so small could be so loud. I looked across the room at the crib. In the soft glow from the lamp I could see her flailing about under the blanket.
‘No you don’t,’ Kate shouted. ‘Leave her be, Frank.’
I peered again through the crack, saw Kate trying to stop Larson from leaving the kitchen.
‘Out of my fucking way,’ he screamed at her. ‘I want to see Anna.’
‘You’re drunk, Frank,’ she said. ‘She’ll go back to sleep.’
I was sure that was wishful thinking on Kate’s part. It sounded to me like the baby was becoming more distressed and needed to be comforted.
‘Out of my way, you whore.’
Larson spat the words into Kate’s face and then back-handed her across the cheek. Kate was thrown sideways by the blow and crashed into the doorframe. Larson then grabbed her by the neck and threw her into the kitchen. She let out an anguished cry as she hit one of the chairs and went sprawling on her back, limbs flung wide. The bastard then kicked her in the ribs, driving the breath from her lungs. A second swinging kick thudded into her shoulder as she tried to shield herself.
By this time I was out of the baby’s room and hurtling towards the kitchen. Larson must have heard me because he whirled round just as he was about to deliver another blow.
His eyes bulged to the size of egg shells when he saw me bearing down, but I was on him before he could defend himself.
I cracked the butt of the revolver across his left cheekbone. It sent him staggering across the room, away from Kate. But he managed to stay on his feet and regain his balance. As he straightened up, gulping air and dripping blood, I hit him again and opened up another cut above his left eye.
This time he went down in an untidy heap and started writhing in agony. I stepped up to him and aimed a kick at his face with everything I had. But he shifted his weight and it connected with his shoulder.
The guy must have been as strong as an ox because he rolled away from me and pulled himself up onto his knees.
I pointed the gun at him, and was about to bark out a warning, when he threw himself at my legs, catching me unaware. I stumbled backwards against the table and dropped the gun onto the lino.
In the blink of an eye he was on his feet and coming at me, his face an ugly red mask. He managed to get a purchase on my jacket with one hand and lunged at my face with the other.
But in doing so he left himself exposed. I brought my knee up into his crotch with such force that his entire body sagged and he doubled over, letting go of my jacket.
I seized the advantage by ramming a fist into the back of his neck. He went down again and this time I made sure he stayed there. As he hit the floor I smashed my heel into his nose. There was a crack of bone and then blood started spouting from the wound like a garden sprinkler.
But he remained conscious, breathing heavily, and that meant he was still a threat. So I scooped up the gun, knelt beside him, and brought it down forcefully on the top of his head. He was out cold then, still breathing but not moving.
Bile rose at the back of my throat as I hauled myself up. My breathing was short and erratic, and every muscle in my body seemed to be trembling.
‘Have you killed him?’
I turned. Kate was sitting up looking at me. There was blood on her mouth and fear in her eyes.
‘He’s still alive,’ I said. ‘He’ll need stitches and pain killers when he wakes. And maybe he’ll have a scar.’
I realized then that her baby was still crying in the other room, although it didn’t seem quite so loud.
‘Are you hurt badly?’ I asked, crossing the room.
She shook her head. ‘My ribs hurt and so does my mouth, but I’ll live.’
I held out my hand and she took it. I pulled her to her feet, said, ‘You’d better go to your baby. I think she needs you.’
Her eyes flicked across the kitchen to Larson.
‘Thank you,’ she said. Then she forced a low-voltage smile that revealed blood-smeared teeth. ‘You know what’s really crazy. If you hadn’t been here he probably would have beaten me to a pulp and taken Anna.’
I smiled back. It felt strange.
‘Glad to be of service,’ I said.
She went into the other room and I was left standing there with my thoughts swimming in feverish circles. I found it hard to grasp anything. Nothing seemed real. Not this, or the extraordinary events of the last twenty-seven hours.
How would it end? I wondered. There was only so much drama I could take. I felt drained already. Tired. Exhausted. My head was throbbing and adrenaline was flushing through my veins like a drug.
And then I remembered what I’d been about to do before Frank Larson turned up. I was going to go to Emily’s house in Mountain City because I feared she was in danger. A cold sense of dread was growing inside me like a build-up of toxic gas.
Then Kate came back into the kitchen carrying her baby. And the sight of the little girl had a profound effect on me. My breath caught in my throat and I experienced a strange explosion of warmth in my chest.
The child was wide awake and what little hair she had was wispy and fine. Her eyes were red rimmed and her bottom lip was trembling. When she saw me she looked confused for just a moment before her tiny face broke into a big, beaming smile. I was so touched by it that for a couple of seconds my mind shut out everything else.
What I saw in that smile were the things I’d been starved of during ten years on death row – love, beauty, innocence, trust, tenderness, purity. This child did not see me as a threat or as a monster. She didn’t judge me or fear me. She was like a tiny light in all the darkness that had surrounded me for so long. So I smiled back. And I felt it come from deep inside me, the first smile in a decade to be honest and heartfelt.
‘She likes you,’ Kate said.
Anna raised her arm and pointed at me.
‘She’s beautiful,’ I said.
‘Frank didn’t want children,’ Kate said. ‘Anna was an accident and he told me to have an abortion. The first time he hit me was when I refused.’
I could see that she was struggling to hold back the tears. Her features were tight, her lips pale and thin as she ran her tongue over them.
Mention of Frank reminded me that he was lying on the floor a couple of feet away and he would soon wake up despite the blows I’d inflicted. Kate seemed to read my mind.
‘So what are you going to do?’ she asked.
‘I told you earlier,’ I said. ‘I think my sister is in trouble. I have to go to her.’
‘You can’t just leave us here. When he comes around he’ll go berserk.’
‘Well I can’t take him with me.’
‘Then take us,’ she said, and I could see that she was serious. ‘We can go to a hotel. At least we’ll be safe there and I can decide where to go next.’
I gave her a look. ‘Just a few minutes ago I was your worst nightmare.’
She shrugged. ‘Let’s put it this way. I’m still scared of you and I know I might be making a huge mistake.’ She glanced at Larson. ‘But right now I’m more scared of him.’
‘But you’ll have to come back sooner or later and face him,’ I said.
‘He’ll have calmed down by then. And it’ll give me time to think about where to go. I’ve had enough of this place anyway. I want out. My life is shit here. And Anna and me are not safe. It’s time I moved on for her sake.’
I thought about it, but only briefly, because I knew it made sense from my point of view too. If she was with me then she wouldn’t be able to call the cops before I got to Emily’s.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘But what about all your stuff?’
‘I’ll just take what we need,’ she said.
‘Have you got money and credit cards? I don’t have a cent.’
She nodded. ‘I’ve got enough to last me a few days.’
‘Get to it then,’ I said. ‘I’ll tie up lover boy so he won’t be raising the alarm when he wakes.’
‘That’ll have to wait,’ she said. ‘I need you to hold the baby while I sort things out.’
Before I could resist she stepped up to me and thrust the baby into my arms.
I was taken aback and expected the infant to start wailing again. But she didn’t. Instead, she sat happily in my arms, staring at me with bold curiosity. Then she began making slurping noises with her lips. I could not believe how light she was. It was like holding a bag of sugar, albeit one that smelled of stale urine. She looked up at me, her face about six inches from mine, her eyes as blue as a summer sky. And then she beamed that smile at me again, revealing tiny teeth and pink gums, and I was aware of the sting of supressed tears under my lids.
Jesus, I thought. What’s going on? She’s just a baby for pity’s sake. Pull yourself together.
I started walking her around the kitchen, careful not to let her see her father lying unconscious on the floor. I bounced her up and down and she began to giggle, and I was reminded of something Marissa once said to me.
You’ll make a great father, Lee. I can see it in you.
