With one foot in the door, my subconscious screamed me that they hadn't seen me, yet, that I had time to leave my place. The city. The state. Head to Canada!
"Oh, finally you're here!"
Too late.
"Maggie, your sister's home," my Mom yelled into the kitchen. Her petite body was halfway past its threshold and the living room. She had a glass of wine in hand. I suspected it was the bottle a grateful client had given me, a vintage Bordeaux. I didn't know much about wine, but Chase told me that that particular one was worth a good amount of money.
I narrowed my eyes to the glass while slipping inside my apartment. "Yeah, I had a meeting that ran a little too long." Not completely true. The meeting was short, but I kept Chase talking longer after it, knowing full well what was waiting for me at home.
"Is that my cake?" Mom tucked the wineglass between her boob and her upper arm and stretched out her hands for the Divine Delights cake box.
Eddie baked Mom's break up cake, a dulce de leche cheesecake, every time she came over. Trying to avoid any more breakage or unfortunate spills, I grabbed the wine glass from her and handed her the box. "Eddie sends his regards." I dumped my gym bag and purse on the floor.
"What a sweet man." She’d met him once, and since then, he'd been only known as the 'sweet man.'
I followed her into the kitchen, where the sixteen-year-old Maggie, was lip-locked with a boy named June (His twin sister was called May). "Hey, Mags. You've got something on your face."
Maggie chuckled while June was still sucking face with her. Oh, young love! When she was finally free, she jumped off June's lap and wrapped me in the tightest hug. "Hey, sis! Ooooh, your hair smells like caramel."
"Same shampoo, Mags," I told her as we let go of each other. "Hey, June. I didn't know you were coming." I shot Maggie and an inquisitive look.
She grinned, walked back to her boyfriend, and draped an arm over his wide shoulders. "You don't mind, do you? He's never been here before." Cue puppy-dog face.
I rolled my eyes to Mom, who was too busy sampling the cheesecake. "He can't sleep in the same bed with you." If I wasn't getting any, no one else in this house should. Plus, they were both sixteen, and last I heard, Maggie was still a virgin.
"Of course, they're not sleeping in the same bed. June can sleep on the couch," my mother said, tilting the vintage bottle and pouring the expensive wine into her glass. She was a special-occasions-only drinker since my father died of liver cancer. Oftentimes, she worried about me and my so-called “life” in the city. Sometimes, I worried about me too.
"That's fine. It's a comfortable couch. I'll take out bedding for you." I stared pointedly at June, who was a boy-man of very few words. I thought I heard him grunt, and he gave me a one-shoulder shrug.
Taking a glass from the cupboard, I placed it beside hers. Mom looked my way and smiled as she poured wine into it. We’d never shared a drink together, but as soon as I directly looked at her in the eyes, I knew she was hurting. Could she see the same in mine?
* * *
Dinner, as usual, was Chinese food at my mother's favorite restaurant, The Lucky Gato. And it was not real Chinese food, but American Chinese: lots of grease, salt, and shiny sauces. I felt bloated, my ankles swollen, right after. Then we headed back to the apartment for cheesecake and tea. Good thing I had Torture tomorrow or I couldn’t forgive myself. There was still a wedding I had to stand for, and a dress I had to fit in.
I sat on my refurbished wing-back chair across from June and Maggie, who were on the couch, twisted together in some canoodling position. They'd been dating since sixth grade. They still seemed very much in love now. I supposed Maggie was lucky to find love at an early age. The older I was, the harder it got. I could barely figure out what was going on with my so-called love life at this stage. I glanced at Mom, wondering if she was still heartbroken for that man who sold her a new set of tires.
Maggie and June were feeding each other cheesecake, which made me think of Levi during the cake-tasting (minus Oh-feel-yah). Gosh, I missed him. I missed the time we had in Paris. I equally missed the little and deep conversations that we shared about the City of Lights. I longed for both his subtle and heart-stopping kisses. And boy, what I would give to wake up next to him again, even though those couple times before had been accidental.
"We best get to bed." Mom jolted me out of my thoughts. "We have an early day tomorrow." She stood and walked straight to my guest bedroom, where she and Maggie would be sleeping.
I gathered the dishes and brought them back to the kitchen. Maggie joined me at the sink, and we washed up, just like back home.
"Thanks for letting him stay," Maggie said, handing me the last dessert plate.
"I wasn't going to kick him out. Where else would he go?"
"Yeah, but I'm still glad you didn't freak. I know I should have asked when I called, but I was afraid you'd say no." She leaned both elbows against the counter.
"Not likely. I know June. I used to babysit him and May, remember?" I laughed at the memory of little Maggie, May, and June running around my mom's garden in their diapers. "It's nice to see you guys are still going strong."
Maggie glanced back into the living room. "Yeah, he's great." Then she turned her sights back to me. "How about you? Got over Jake?"
I laughed. And laughed. I doubled over, trying to get my bearings back.
"Shoot, are you okay?" Maggie was concerned, probably thinking her older sister had gone mad.
"Yeah, sorry. Sorry." After wiping the tears from my cheeks, I reached for the kitchen chair in the corner. "I guess I haven't talked to you in a while." I recounted the whole wedding thing to Maggie. Needless to say, she was shocked and awed. I did skip the parts with Levi. My heart was still raw, my mind a jumble of confusion.
“Something’s missing, Mags. I didn’t know it was missing until someone tried to fill it.”
* * *
I was checking out handmade jewelry in a small open-air shop at Ferry Place Market when Maggie sidled up to me with a look of concern on her face.
"Hey, I think you have a stalker."
"Hmmm?" My attention was on a sterling silver cuff with intricate patterns.
"I said, I think you have a stalker," Maggie repeated. I looked up at her, and she pointed to my left. "There!"
I squinted. It was a hot, cloudless summer day. Perfect day for stalking. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary." I tuned back to Maggie.
She had a hand on her forehead, blocking her eyes from the sun. "I think he left. Or maybe he's hiding. I saw him a few times a while back. I didn't think he was following us because there were a lot of people here, but he kept staring at you. Like really staring."
"A man? Staring at me?" Maggie had way better vision than I did. I tried to focus past the stores and stalls we passed but still didn't see anything or anyone who stood out. "What did he look like?"
"Tall. Hot. He was wearing a button-up shirt and jeans, I think."
I dropped the cuff back on the table and moved away from the shop, pulling Maggie with me. June and my mom were looking at some metallic items across the way. "What do you mean hot? Details." I urged her with a wave of my hand.
Maggie contemplated before answering, "Hot, like good looking. I dunno. Brownish hair."
"Long?"
"Ish."
"Beard?"
"Clean-shaven."
My heart started that quick tattoo that often happened when I thought of a certain someone.
"Sunglasses?"
"Nah, just regular glasses."
I pressed my lips together, letting my mind wander. Levi didn't wear glasses. "Are you sure?"
Maggie lifted a brow at me. "I think I can tell the difference between sunglasses and not. Do you know him?"
Did I? I wasn't too sure. I thought I did. Sure, Levi had opened up to me while we spent time in France. But he’d been out of my life for more than I was comfortable with. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. That he broke u
p my one great relationship, one that had promise, and played with my heart while I still ached for Jake?
What could I tell Maggie?
"Should I be worried?" she asked and chewed on her bottom lip.
"Nope. It's probably not even who I think it is." I waved a dismissive hand, but my heartbeat stayed errant. "Mags...was he with someone?" Like a tall, brunette, possibly Victoria’s Secret Angel?
"No, just him. Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit flushed." Maggie scrutinized me with her hazel eyes.
Tight-lipped, I didn’t reply. I glanced the way she had pointed again, just in case the stranger befitting the description decided to appear once more. No one looked familiar, but as I turned away, the hair on the back of my neck raised and a shiver ran along my spine.
He was here. I could feel him. He was watching me. Why wouldn’t he talk to me?
Ignoring my own feelings, I pointed at our mother who was picking up a round item that resembled a shield inside the shop across the way. "We better get Mom away from that." Maggie hurried to them, stopping Mom from paying the man for the shield. Because I was stubborn, I let myself glance back, thinking it wouldn't cause any damage. Wrong.
Even though it had been days since last I’d seen him, I spotted him right away. Levi, in his relaxed strides, was heading my way, looking like a sin I’d like to keep doing over and over again.
* * *
“I panicked.” I heaved into the paper bag again before trapping my phone between my ear and shoulder. “I panicked, so I left. I ran.”
Chase groaned on the phone. “Why would you leave?”
“I said I panicked!” Heave. Heave. Heave. “I told Mom and Mags that I had a meeting with a client. I sent them back home because I didn’t know how to deal with this.”
“You’ve been waiting to see him all this time, and now that you’ve finally seen him…”
“I was afraid!”
“What? Why?”
“Hold on, the light changed.” I threw the paper bag beside me and pressed on the gas. I tapped on my phone and spoke to Chase wirelessly. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what I would say to him. He’s been gone for over a week, Chase. Our communication was next to nothing, and I couldn’t…just couldn’t…I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
Sighing heavily, I replied, “I don’t know.” Lie. I remembered what Isobel told me at the spa, about Levi’s involvement in Sandrine and Jake’s relationship. I didn’t understand why he would do that. I flicked the turn signal and parked in front of my apartment. “I’m afraid, and I don’t know how to deal with this. I didn’t plan on feeling this much for someone I barely knew. Someone I didn’t even like in the first place.”
“What are you going to do? You’ll see him later this week at the rehearsal dinner, and at the wedding. What’s this really about, Nica?”
After turning off my engine, I threw my keys into my purse and unfolded out of the car. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll be in later tonight. Make sure Jewel doesn’t stay too long. We’ll need her working overtime at the wedding.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m ho—” I couldn’t finish my sentence. My breath hitched as I saw Levi standing at my doorstep.
Head down, hair falling on his forehead, his rapt attention was on the phone he had in his hand, swiping his thumb over the screen. Whatever he was staring at caused him to tilt his lips into a crooked smile. That adoring look created a flutter to my stomach, much as it had done before. But I had a feeling of uncertainty in facing him.
With my right toe behind my left foot, ready at the go to pivot and run before he could notice me, I waited. As though he sensed my hesitation, he brought his head up, his hand brushing off the hair that had fallen on his face, and the crooked smile morphed into something tender and full of affection.
His blue eyes sparkled like the clear blue sea reflecting the sun’s rays. They revealed more than he might have intended. "Hi." Levi languidly straightened, pocketed his phone, and strode over to me. A quiver on his lips expressed a tinge of something I couldn't put my finger on.
Unsure of what to do, I busied myself by ending my call with Chase. She’d be pissed off about it, but when I explained why she would understand. Fishing in my purse for my keys, I kept my head down. "How do you know where I lived?” I tried to keep my voice steady, and it came out flat and robotic.
I had the keys in my hand, but made no move to open the door. Instead I basked in the heat of his body as he leaned toward me. Avoiding looking him in the eyes this close, I was frightened of the possibility that my own would reveal the chaos running through my head and the mixture of emotions that came with it—affection, jealousy, betrayal, hurt, indignation. Could a person die of too many emotions?
Ever so gently, he cupped the side of my face, making me tilt my head up, my breath hitching. My eyes shuttered closed as he placed a warm kiss on my lips. I froze at the connection. When he removed his hand, I moved past Levi and unlocked the door to my apartment, afraid to even breathe. Stepping inside, I released the jagged exhale that he tried to steal from me.
"You ran away from me," Levi stated as he followed me in, his voice sounded distant.
The conversation with Isobel was suddenly fresh in my mind, and the most prominent feeling jumped out. The feeling of betrayal. Anger surged through my body, numbing my fingers and toes. I refused to face him. I blurted out a reply, "I was busy with my family."
"Veronica, why did you walk away?"
How could he ask me that? Isobel's revelations had been running through my mind since I saw him at the market. And I couldn’t help saying, "You chose her over me." Balling my hands into fists, I challenged him. Levi tilted his head, worry, and confusion on his features. I pushed a lock of hair from my face and stabbed a finger in his chest. "You...Jake met Sandrine because of you. You introduced them." When my eyes met his, I made sure he saw only one emotion. I was livid. He had ruined the perfectly happy relationship I had. "He met her through you."
"Yeah, I heard you the first time." He chuckled nervously, rubbing a hand over his chin. "I was in Paris for business when Jake came. I'd made plans to meet Sandrine, and he came with me.”
A laugh spurted out of my mouth, dry and humorless. "I can't believe you did that. We were so happy together."
"Happy? What?" He seemed confused. He took a step forward with a hand stretched out. I stared at it and stepped back. He continued, finally understanding, "Are you insinuating that I had planned to...You’re blaming me for your breakup?"
"Yes!" The word was out before I could stop it.
"Now, that's unfair, Veronica." He kept his voice low, but it had an edge to it. Worry lines appeared on his forehead, and his lips pressed into a thin line.
I waved his hand away and closed in on him. "Jake broke up with me because of you. Because you brought her and introduced her to him. And he was happy. With me. We were great together. You took that away." I jabbed my finger at him; tears welled in my eyes.
"I had nothing to do with that." Levi, looking like he was holding onto a very fine line of patience, grabbed hold of my hand and kept it on his chest. His heart thumped madly against my palm. "I was as surprised as you when he decided to pursue a relationship with Sandrine. Don’t forget, Veronica, if he was as truly happy as you adamantly claim, he wouldn't have left you. He wouldn’t even have looked at another woman if he was as enamored with you as you claimed."
Bile threatened to rise in my throat. "You don't know that." I struggled away from his hold, but I was too weak to fight him off.
He tightened the grasp on my hand and held my body to him with an arm around my waist. "I do know. I've known Jake longer than you have. He's never stayed long with just one woman. If he hadn't met Sandrine, he would have left you eventually. I did you a favor, Veronica."
"And I should thank you?" My voice rose with the rage boiling inside me. All those times we’d spent together, the times I thought I’d finally seen
something good in him was peeling away from me. I was broken from Jake, but Levi’s betrayal was something I didn’t know if I could survive. "So you decided to what? Swoop in and take over for him? Is that what you've been doing with me?"
Complete disbelief colored his expression. "Is that what you really think of me?" He released me like I was on fire and I’d burned him.
Steadying back on my feet, I scoffed. "Please, Levi. We both know what a snake you are." I looked him up and down, judging the man. “You parade around with different women in your arms, night after night, and still, constantly flirt with others."
"Are you calling me a cheat?" I raised my head, challenging him to prove me wrong.
Shock painted his face. His eyes lowered, matching my glares. "You had me fooled."
Me? I fooled him? He was prancing around, acting like my knight in shining armor in Paris. I might have been a damsel in distress, but he wasn’t the knight I wanted to rescue me.
He rubbed the nape of his neck. "I never led people to believe I was something I was not. The women I’d been with knew the score. They chose to be with me because of my social standing. They knew the possibilities that could open up for them just by being seen with me."
“Don’t be so high on yourself, Levi!”
He smirked. I could almost see a new thought forming in his head. "I get it. All this time, you still have feelings for Jake. You're trotting around with his fiancée planning a wedding, taking everything that's thrown at you in hopes of what? Winning him back? You thought that if you spent more time with him that he'd change his mind? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Like I said, Veronica, I was always honest with my women, and I’ve never tried to steal someone else's fiancée."
Confessions of a Wedding Planner (Bliss Series Book 1) Page 16
