Ashley and Frankie were really glad to see us. Ashley looked great. She had decorated the back of her gi with a rhinestone map of Korea, to honor the country where Tae Kwon Do had first been developed.
“Hello, Mr. Zipzer,” Principal Love said. “And who is your chapeau-wearing friend?”
“This is Zoe McKelty from PS 9,” I said proudly.
“I’m here at PS 87 to work on improving my reading and tracking skills,” Zoe said to him. I looked at her in amazement. Imagine, just announcing a thing like that to a gi-wearing principal and a room of students you don’t even know. That takes some kind of courage.
“Is it okay if we watch the matches?” I asked Principal Love.
It wasn’t an automatic yes like I thought it would be. Principal Love rubbed his face thoughtfully. As he rubbed, I saw his index finger accidentally flick the Statue of Liberty mole that lives on his cheek. The more he rubbed his face, the more he flicked her, first in the arm part, then in the feet part, then in the butt part. She didn’t seem to mind, though. She just hung on to his cheek welcoming all the tired and poor and huddled masses to America, just like the real Statue of Liberty does in the New York Harbor.
“If I let you stay, I want you to understand that this isn’t a sporting match you’re watching,” Principal Love said. “Do you understand that?”
“Absolutely, sir.” I nodded.
“Tae Kwon Do is a combination of sport, self-defense, and philosophy. You are watching a belief system in action, discipline in motion. Is that clear?”
“Crystal, sir.” I nodded harder this time, although I have to confess, he was losing me a little on the belief system part.
“There will be no cheering for winners,” he went on. “We are not here to win, are we, Mr. Zipzer?”
“No, sir. We are here to lose.”
“Incorrect, Mr. Zipzer. We are here neither to win nor to lose.”
“Right you are, sir. We’re here to tie.”
“Incorrect again, Mr. Zipzer. We are not here to win or lose or tie, but to learn, to study with the master sensei, which in this case, would be me. Is that clear, Mr. Zipzer?”
“Double crystal, sir, with a big fat red cherry on top.”
“In that case, you and your chapeau-wearing friend may stay. Are you junbi?”
“Uh . . . junbi, sir?”
“It means ready in Korean.”
“Oh. You bet, sir. We’re both junbi, aren’t we, Zoe?”
“I’m as junbi as I’ll ever be,” she said with a giggle.
I could see that Frankie and Ashley were dying to burst out laughing, but they didn’t dare. Principal Love was already walking into the middle of the ring, his Velcro shoes squeaking up a storm as he went.
“We’ll begin with a women’s match,” he said. “Ashley Wong and Joelle Atkins, come forward, please.”
Ashley walked into the middle of the ring, but there was no sign of Joelle. I looked around for her. I couldn’t see her, but I could hear her voice coming from the general direction of Nick McKelty.
“Can you believe it?” I heard her whispering. “She wore a charm bracelet with penguins on it. I mean, who does that? It’s so incredibly second grade.”
“Ms. Atkins,” Principal Love boomed in his extra loud voice. Joelle peeked out from behind the hugeness of Nick McKelty. Sure enough, her cell phone was attached to her ear, and she was chattering away.
“Oops. Got to go,” she said into the phone when she saw Principal Love staring her down. “Oodles of toodles.”
“I’ll take that,” Principal Love said, holding out his hand for Joelle’s phone. “You may pick it up on your way out.”
It must have been painful for Joelle to hand over her cell phone. I mean, that thing is like her third arm.
“Mrs. Crock will help the girls into their hogu,” Principal Love said. Mrs. Crock, a nice woman who works in the attendance office, was holding two dark blue mats that looked like the chest protectors that catchers wear in baseball. She went over to Ashley and slipped one over her gi so that it covered most of her middle part.
“This hogu will serve as both protection for you and as a scoring target,” Principal Love said.
“No way,” squeaked Joelle. “I’m not wearing that thing. It’s so not in fashion.”
“If you want to compete, then you will wear it,” Principal Love said.
Mrs. Crock slipped the hogu over Joelle’s gi, but you would have thought she was covering her in bird poop.
“Eeuuww, this is gross,” Joelle said. “Eeuuww, eeuuww, eeuuww.”
“She is so ridiculously girly,” Zoe whispered to me.
“If you think so now, wait until you see her moves,” I whispered back. Ashley had told me that when Joelle did Tae Kwon Do, all she worried about was that she was going to break a fingernail.
Principal Love insisted that the two girls put on headgear and shin guards, too. Then he positioned them in the center of the ring so they were facing each other.
“When your opponent touches your hogu with a hand or a foot, she scores a point,” he explained to them. “Of course, we are going to pull our punches and kicks, so as not to hurt the other person.”
“You mean they don’t get to punch and kick really hard?” Zoe whispered.
“Of course not,” I said. “We’re in school, after all.”
“If you fall down or are taken down, your opponent scores another point,” Principal Love went on. “The first person to score three points will be declared victorious.”
Before then, I had no idea how a Tae Kwon Do sparring match was run. This was turning out to be really interesting and fun.
With their hogu and headgear and shin guards on, I could barely tell which girl was which. Thank goodness for the rhinestone map of Korea. That would be a for-sure way to identify Ashley.
“Are you both junbi?” Principal Love asked.
“Junbi,” Ashley answered.
“Whatever,” Joelle said.
With that, Principal Love blew a whistle. Three short blasts and the match was on!
CHAPTER 22
FIVE THINGS THAT JOELLE ATKINS SAID DURING HER MATCH WITH ASHLEY
1. Enough!
2. Enough!!
3. Enough!!!!!
4. Enough, I said!!!!!!!!!!!
5. I quit!
CHAPTER 23
I’m telling you, Ashley Wong was dynamite in the ring.
She whizzed around Joelle at lightning speed, spinning and twirling and leaping in the air like a gazelle. (To be honest, I’m not totally sure what a gazelle is, but I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of leaping animal.) I don’t know where she learned those moves, but Ashley had an impressive front kick, a pretty good side kick, a jumping strike, a forward strike, and a reverse strike. In thirty seconds, she must have touched Joelle’s hogu five times.
Joelle was not happy at all. She just stood there in the ring, clutching her hogu to her body with her pretty pink fingernails.
From the sidelines, Nick McKelty was shouting, “Move, Joelle! Let her have it!”
But Joelle didn’t even so much as pick up a foot until she hollered, “I quit!” and stomped out of the ring.
Ashley was smiling like someone in a toothpaste commercial when the match was over. Zoe and I both wanted to stand up and cheer for her, but Principal Love had strictly forbidden it. Instead, I just gave her a huge thumbs-up and Zoe blew her a kiss. You have to admit, that was a pretty cute thing to do.
“This was an excellent display of Tae Kwon Do,” Principal Love said to Ashley. “You show great promise when it comes to promising to become a very promising martial arts type person.”
“Thanks,” Ashley said. “I think.”
“Next we will have a men’s match,” Principal Love said. “Will Frankie Townsend and Nick McKelty please come forward?”
Frankie got up and quietly took his place in the center of the ring. Frankie is very humble about his athletic skills. You never hear him braggin
g about how great he is. He just gets the job done. Nick McKelty is totally the opposite. All he does is brag, with not much to back it up. As Papa Pete says, he’s all Flash and no Gordon.
As McKelty walked into the ring, he pumped his fists above his head, and took bows as if there were a real crowd cheering for him.
Hey, Nick, I wanted to shout. This isn’t the World Wrestling Federation.
“Let’s hear it for the champ,” he said as he jogged up alongside Frankie. “I’m going to crush you, Townsend.”
Principal Love wasn’t impressed.
“Did you hear my introduction about Tae Kwon Do?” he asked Nick. “We are not here to defeat the enemy, but to defend ourselves.”
“Bring it on,” McKelty said. “I’m totally ready, or as you like to say, I’m totally junbi.”
“Mrs. Crock will help you boys assemble your protective gear,” Principal Love said. He reached into his pocket to pull out a small scorecard and a pencil.
“That cousin of yours is really something,” I whispered to Zoe while Frankie was getting ready.
“I know he can be irritating,” Zoe said, “but inside, he’s just a big softie.”
Actually, I didn’t agree with her at all. I think that inside, Nick McKelty is a big bully. But one of the nice things about Zoe is that she has something good to say about everyone, so I decided not to argue with her about McKelty’s insides.
Mrs. Crock was having a hard time with Nick’s hogu. She had to adjust the straps to make room for his tree trunk of a body.
“Stop wiggling around, Nick,” she said. “And keep your arms still, please.”
Principal Love and the other kids were busy straightening up the floor mats from the first match. As I watched McKelty getting ready, I thought I saw him take something out of his gi pocket and stuff it into his mouth. It looked like a chocolate Ding Dong.
What was he doing eating a Ding Dong at a moment like this? Could he be that hungry? No, not possible.
I decided that I had seen wrong.
“Are you junbi, gentlemen?” Principal Love asked when Mrs. Crock had finished with McKelty’s hogu.
“Yes, sensei,” Frankie said. He bowed his head toward Nick, like you’re supposed to do in the martial arts, to honor your opponent. McKelty didn’t bow, which was so typical of him.
Principal Love blew the whistle, three short blasts, and both guys went into action.
Their styles couldn’t have been more opposite. Frankie was all speed and grace, like a quarterback. McKelty was all power and force, like a linebacker.
It was actually a pretty good match. Frankie jumped in the air and did a spinning kick, touching McKelty’s hogu with the tip of his toes.
Go, Frankie!
“One point for Townsend,” Principal Love said, taking out his pencil to mark the scorecard.
Frankie started to do another spin but McKelty intercepted it by sticking his chunky arm into Frankie’s path. His arm just happened to land on Frankie’s hogu.
“One point for McKelty,” Principal Love said, marking his scorecard.
When he saw that sticking his arm out was working, McKelty did it again. This time, Frankie blocked it. Then he spun around in the air, turned his back on McKelty, and delivered an awesome reverse kick, landing his foot dead center on McKelty’s chest.
“Another point for Townsend,” Principal Love said, looking down at the scorecard he was holding in his hand. It looked like his pencil point broke, and he reached into his gi pocket for another pencil. Zoe looked over at Ashley and they gave each other a big smile. They were both enjoying the match.
That’s how, in the split second when no one was looking, I saw something that no one else in the gym saw.
McKelty got right in Frankie’s face and opened his mouth really wide, showing his tongue covered with goopy, half-chewed chocolate Ding Dong. Frankie couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was completely unexpected. I mean, who does that kind of thing during a martial arts competition?
For a second, Frankie just stood there, staring into McKelty’s yucky mouth.
It was only a second, but one that McKelty used to his advantage. He reached out and threw a strike at Frankie’s hogu, and when Frankie spun around to block it, McKelty stuck his foot out and tripped him.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Frankie flew into the air, then landed with a thud on the mat. He was down!
“Two points for McKelty,” Principal Love said, looking up from his scorecard. “One for the touch, one for the fall. That’s three points to one. Match to McKelty.”
I was on my feet in no time.
“Hey, that’s not fair!” I hollered.
“Mr. Zipzer,” Principal Love said, “I appreciate your loyalty to your friend, but as you can see, Mr. McKelty just scored one point for the strike and one point for the takedown, bringing his score to a match-winning three.”
“But McKelty tricked him!” I said.
“He didn’t do anything,” Zoe whispered to me.
“Are you making an accusation, Mr. Zipzer?” Principal Love asked.
“You bet I am! McKelty made Frankie look at his chocolaty disgusting Ding-Donged-up tongue!”
“Hank,” Zoe said. “What are you talking about?”
“Check it out for yourself,” I said. “Go ahead, McKelty. Show them what’s in your mouth.”
“Nothing,” McKelty said. “I got nothing in my mouth. Where would I get a Ding Dong here in the gym, anyway?”
McKelty opened his mouth. I couldn’t believe it. He had swallowed the whole chocolaty mess, and now there was no sign of it.
“But I saw you pop in that Ding Dong,” I said. “Didn’t anyone else see that?”
No one answered, but I could see Zoe looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“I saw it,” Frankie said.
“Of course, you’ll say anything,” McKelty said to him, “just to win.”
That did it for me. Frankie Townsend was no cheater.
“There’s got to be a wrapper in there,” I said, pointing to McKelty’s gi pocket. McKelty reached down and turned his pockets inside out. There was nothing in there.
“What about in his backpack?”
“Mr. Zipzer,” Principal Love said. “I’m going to have to demand that you sit down. Mr. McKelty won the match fair and square. Besides, as I said before, this is not about winning and losing. This is about discipline, and you are showing a tremendous lack of discipline.”
“And you’re behaving like a real jerk,” Zoe whispered to me.
“It’s not fair,” I repeated.
“Since you persist with this line of accusation, I’m afraid I have to ask you to leave the gym right now,” Principal Love said.
“You cheated,” I said to McKelty.
“You’re a sore loser,” McKelty answered.
Frankie wasn’t saying anything. I think he knew that arguing would just make him look like a sore loser, too.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m leaving. Come on, Zoe. Let’s go.”
I got up to go, but Zoe didn’t.
“Come on, Zoe. Let’s go back to Reading Gym. Aren’t you coming?”
“No, Hank. I’m not,” she said.
It was then I noticed that Zoe had tears in her eyes.
CHAPTER 24
I went back to the Reading Gym and tried to work on my scrapbook, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was steaming mad. Mr. Rock didn’t notice because he was giving special attention to Chelsea Byrd. She’s a very shy girl and she’d been extra special nervous about having to present her autobiography to the class the next week. Mr. Rock was helping her review it.
As I sat there looking around the library, a million questions raced around in my brain. Why hadn’t Zoe come with me? Why was she crying? Why couldn’t she understand that her cousin was a cheater? Wait a minute . . . why was Luke Whitman blowing his nose on a piece of yellow construction paper?
A few minutes later, when the class w
as over, I dashed across the hall and waited for Zoe outside the gym. She was the first to come out, since the kids in the Tae Kwon Do class had to stay after to put the floor mats away.
She walked right past me.
“Hey, Zoe, wait up,” I called.
“I’m not speaking to you,” she said.
“Why? What’d I do?”
“You made up that awful story about Nick just because you wanted Frankie to win.”
“I didn’t make anything up! Nick really did eat that Ding Dong,” I said. “And he did stick his tongue out at Frankie. I saw it with my own two eyes.”
“Oh, really, Hank? I didn’t see it. Ashley didn’t see it. Principal Love didn’t see it. Explain that.”
“Because you and Ashley were busy waving and saying hi and stuff,” I answered. “And Principal Love was keeping score.”
“There was no wrapper, Hank. Nothing in Nick’s pocket.”
“So what? That doesn’t prove anything. Plus Frankie saw it, too.”
We had reached the door of the library.
“I’m going inside to get my stuff now,” Zoe said. “When I come out, I’d like you not to be here.”
“But . . .”
I had no chance to finish the sentence, because she turned and went into the library. I stood at the door, gathering my thoughts up, as much as I can ever gather my thoughts up, that is. Then I followed her in. She was already talking with Chelsea Byrd.
“You’ll do fine,” I heard her saying to Chelsea. “Everyone gets nervous, but we’re all here to support you.”
“Psst, Zoe,” I whispered.
But she didn’t even look my way.
I ran out into the hall and stopped Frankie and Ashley as they were coming out of the gym.
“Frankie, you’ve got to help me,” I said. “Zoe thinks I made up the thing about the Ding Dong. You’ve got to tell her it’s true.”
“Drop it, Zip,” Frankie said.
“You mean you’re not going to say anything about what happened?”
“Tae Kwon Do is not about winning and losing,” Frankie said. “McKelty knows what he did. He’s got to deal with that.”
Frankie started walking down the hall.
Enter at Your Own Risk Page 8
