He took her hand, felt it tremble like a frightened bird in his grasp.
‘This is very unfortunate,’ she said, the words coming out in a rush. ‘I had thought Ran was getting better—indeed, he has been showing definite signs of improvement! He joins me for breakfast most mornings now, he even took me driving the other day and he can sometimes be persuaded to accompany me to an evening party.’
‘Then I have caught him on an unhappy relapse,’ he said. ‘It does happen, you know. Pray do not let it upset you.’
She nodded, her lip trembling as she made an effort to control her emotions. It was as much as he could do not to pull her into his arms and kiss away the tears that were threatening. Instead he asked her cheerfully if she would still ride out with him the next morning.
‘Yes, sir. If you still wish it.’
‘I do,’ he assured her. ‘I wish it more than ever.’
With that Gil kissed her hand and left the house. Everything was falling into place. He just wished he felt more comfortable about it.
* * *
Three days later Gil had made all the arrangements and he was determined that by the end of the day he would have put his plan into action. He was engaged to join the Gomershams’ riding party to Hoyland Water. Several heavy storms during the past week had swollen the local rivers and it was anticipated that would make the waterfall even more beautiful than usual. Deborah had told him she and her brother were engaged to join the party and he hoped at some point to find a quiet moment alone with Deborah and issue his invitation.
When he trotted up Mill Lane he saw a little group of horses and riders gathered outside Gomersham Lodge. Instinctively his eyes sought out Deborah, feeling the now familiar rush of pleasure at the sight of her. She was escorted by her brother and they were talking to Mrs Appleton and her elderly husband, whom he had met at one of the assemblies. He knew it would not do to single Deb out, so instead he turned aside and touched his hat to Lady Gomersham, who was looking at home upon a sturdy hack. She returned his salute, but left it to her husband to ride forward to greet him.
‘Ah, there you are, Victor,’ cried Sir Geoffrey in his bluff, good-natured way. ‘You are the last of our little party, so we can set off now.’
‘I hope I have not kept you waiting,’ he said, his smile encompassing them all.
‘Not at all, sir, not at all,’ declared Sir Geoffrey. ‘Lizzie has only just mounted up, so you are in good time. And it promises to be a very fine day, although there is a chill wind blowing. Best not to tarry.’
The little party set off, accompanied by Sir Geoffrey’s groom. As they reached the end of Mill Lane, Lord Kirkster brought his horse alongside Gil’s. It was the first time they had met since the dinner at Kirkster House and from the younger man’s demeanour Gil guessed immediately what he was about to say.
‘I wanted to beg your pardon for my behaviour the other night,’ said Kirkster, as soon as civilities had been exchanged. ‘I was not quite myself.’
‘I am not the one to whom you should apologise,’ Gil replied shortly.
‘If you mean Deborah, I have already made my peace with her.’ He looked a little shame-faced. ‘It was she who said I must speak with you and make amends.’
Gil maintained his stony expression, but inside he was raging. He wanted to grab Kirkster by the throat and ask him how he intended to make amends for ruining his little sister and killing his brother. He was tempted to forget his plan and issue a challenge this minute. To call the fellow out and demand Kirkster name his friends.
A movement caught his eye. Deborah was watching them. How could he make such a declaration here, in front of Sir Geoffrey and his family? It would be all around Fallbridge by night and Deborah would be tarred with her brother’s disgrace.
And is what you plan for her any better?
He pushed that thought aside.
‘You have made your apology, then,’ he said to Kirkster. ‘We shall speak no more of it.’
The young man looked relieved. He smiled, touched his hat and rode off to join Lizzie Gomersham, and the pair of them were soon laughing and chattering as if they had not a care in the world. Gil watched them. If he did not know the truth he would have thought Kirkster nothing more than a heedless young fool. Too fond of his drink, perhaps, but not a bad man. But he knew the extent of Kirkster’s perfidy and was determined he would make him suffer for it.
‘You look very grim, Mr Victor.’ Deborah had ridden up beside him and was looking at him, anxiety clouding her eyes. ‘I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive my brother for, for his drunkenness the other night.’
Immediately the frown disappeared from his brow. As always in her presence, he felt better, more complete, as if she was a part of him. Whenever they were together he could feel the bond between them growing and strengthening. It made what he had planned even more difficult, but he would not think of that, he would merely enjoy her company. For now.
‘I told him we would say no more about it,’ he said lightly.
The anxious look fled and she smiled. ‘I am glad.’
She looked as if she wanted to say more and he quickly changed the subject.
‘This promises to be the finest day we have had for a while and I am determined to make the most of it.’
‘We all are,’ declared Lady Gomersham, dropping back to join them. ‘This will be a most delightful outing. Deborah, my dear, Mrs Appleton was asking me the best way to dress crab and I recalled the last time we came to you for dinner you had a particularly good method for this, and I wondered if you would come and explain it to her…’
Gil caught Deborah’s laughing look of apology as she allowed her hostess to draw her away. For himself he felt only relief. His conscience was becoming troublesome and he roughly thrust aside the prickle of unease. It would be folly to give up the solemn vows he had made over his sister’s body for a woman he had known only a matter of weeks.
* * *
It took the party a couple of hours to reach Hoyland Water, a small pool set within rocky woodland. On the far side of the pool a lichen-covered cliff reared up and from it a waterfall tumbled noisily. Their view was partially screened by surrounding trees and Sir Geoffrey suggested they leave their horses with the groom and walk the short distance along the narrow path to the water’s edge.
As Gil jumped down he noticed that Deborah and her brother were making no effort to dismount, but were talking earnestly together. Rather than follow the others towards the water Gil remained by his horse, adjusting the stirrup and listening to their conversation. Deborah was holding her brother’s arm and speaking in a low, urgent voice, but Gil heard every word.
‘You cannot leave now, Ran. What will the others say?’
‘I neither know nor care. I must return to Fallbridge. I have remembered I promised a fellow I would meet him there today and I will not let him down.’
‘And no doubt you will say you have to meet him at an inn! Do not lie to me, Ran. Why have you not mentioned this before? I believe it is merely a ruse to go back.’
‘I told you, Deb, I forgot all about it! Damnation, can a fellow not be allowed to make up his own mind on these things?’ He pulled his arm free and wheeled his horse, saying as he trotted away, ‘Tell them what you like, but I am leaving. I am not needed here. The Gomershams will see you home safe, I am sure.’
Gil was about to move away, not wanting Deborah to know he had overheard their conversation, but at that moment she caught his eye, such a look of distress upon her face that he could not ignore it. He crossed the short distance to stand beside her horse.
‘Your brother is unwell?’
‘He has remembered an appointment.’
She looked uncomfortable so he did not press her for more. Instead he put up his arms and she slid down into them, clearly grateful for hi
s support. Gil knew that a man bent on seduction would hold her a little longer, perhaps even steal a quick kiss. Instead he quickly set her on her feet and stepped away.
‘We had best catch up with the others, Miss Meltham.’
They walked together to the little lake, neither speaking, but Gil was aware of an unhappy tension between them. As they cleared the trees and the water was fully in view, Deborah spoke with a cheerfulness that did not quite ring true.
‘There, sir. Was that not worth the ride?’
‘It was indeed.’
He could not bear it. He moved away from her, his thoughts black as pitch. He was a villain to even consider hurting her as a way to be revenged upon Kirkster. The fellow was not worth half the affection his sister showered upon him. He should never have come here.
Even as he smiled and spoke with the other members of the party his thoughts were racing, trying to find a way out of the dilemma he had made for himself. Deborah cared for him, he was aware of that. After all, it was what he had set out to achieve. What he had not intended was that he would feel anything for her. He briefly put a hand up to his chest, feeling the hard edge of the locket that he wore beneath his shirt. He could not break his vow and leave his siblings unavenged. The knowledge that he had not been able to protect them was almost unbearable and it was only the thought of vengeance that had supported him through the bleak months of grief and distress. How could he live with himself if he gave up now?
How could he live with himself if he did not?
CHAPTER SIX
For the next hour he kept his distance from Deborah. The plan must be carried out, he was determined upon it, but every moment he spent in her company made it more difficult. Therefore he must keep away from her until there was an opportunity to speak to her alone, without fear of being overheard. Outwardly he remained calm; he was attentive to the other members of the party, accompanying them as they walked around the lake and climbed the steep path to the top of the cliff, where he agreed that the views were breath-taking, although he barely noticed the beauty of the prospect. Sir Geoffrey invited everyone to come a little closer to the edge of the cliff and see for themselves just how high they had climbed.
Obediently Gil stared down at the green-blue waters of the pool, his mind full of dark, painful thoughts.
‘I hope you are not thinking of jumping in,’ remarked Sir Geoffrey, coming up beside him. ‘Where the falls crash down the water is full of tumbled rocks and the rest of the pool is no more than knee-deep.’
‘As the children know well,’ remarked Lady Gomersham. ‘They all used to play here a great deal when they were younger. Shall we take the path down the other side now? Before we ride back, we can visit the spot where we have picnicked often and often.’
There was a general agreement. Gil saw Deborah looking towards him and he quickly turned to Mrs Appleton to offer her his arm on the descent. He resolutely kept his gaze away from Deborah, but he could imagine her disappointment. It could not be helped—he must keep his distance, painful as it was for him to deny himself her company.
They reached the water’s edge again and after thanking him for his assistance, Mrs Appleton moved off to join her husband. Gil was so lost in his own thoughts he barely heard the others reminiscing about earlier trips to this very spot, of summer picnics and moonlit rides.
He felt a touch on his arm.
‘Have I offended you?’ He looked down to see Deborah beside him. ‘You have been at pains to stay away from me.’
‘No, no, I was merely—’ He stopped, despising himself for even thinking of lying to her. ‘I did not want to show you too much attention. It would give rise to speculation.’
Her brow cleared, but for once her smile did not brighten his day.
‘Ah, I see. Do you think it would give rise to speculation if we walked back to the horses together?’
‘Yes, I do.’ He glanced past her to make sure there was no one to hear them. ‘I have been paying you too much attention, Miss Meltham.’
She looked stricken. ‘Do you mean you, you regret the time we have spent together?’
‘Yes. No.’ By heaven he was making a mull of this! ‘You are a single lady. Unchaperoned.’
Walk away, Deb, now. Do not let me do this to you.
‘But I am no ingénue, Mr Victor.’ Her green eyes regarded him steadily. ‘I am aware that in seeing you so often, walking with you, riding out with you, I have strayed a little beyond the bounds of propriety, but it was done with a full knowledge of the consequences. If you are tired of me then I will understand. I was merely concerned that I might unwittingly have said or done something to offend.’
‘Tired of you! Deb—’
He was interrupted by a scream and a shout. Looking up, he saw everyone crowded at the water’s edge. Deborah was already running towards them and he followed her. Lady Gomersham was shrieking and as they drew near Gil saw that Sir Geoffrey and Mr Appleton were helping Lizzie Gomersham from the water. She was laughing and declaring that she was not in the least hurt, but her skirts were sodden and discoloured with muddy water.
‘I went too close to the edge and slipped,’ she was explaining to her anxious parents. ‘There is no harm done, truly.’
‘No harm? You are soaked to the skin, child!’ cried Lady Gomersham.
Sir Geoffrey was already stripping off his coat and wrapping it about his daughter.
‘We must get you home immediately before you catch your death of cold.’ He began to hurry her along the path towards the horses, the others following.
‘Yes, yes, we must get back,’ cried Lady Gomersham. ‘The wind is getting up and now you have given up your coat, Sir Geoffrey, I am anxious that you, too, might catch a chill. Oh, how I wish we had never come here!’
They reached the horses and Gil helped to put Lizzie in the saddle, her wet skirts clinging heavily about her and making it difficult for her to mount. By the time he looked around Deborah was already on her horse and moments later they were all trotting back to the main road. The groom pointed out that the quickest way to Fallbridge was to turn left and then cut across country, coming to the town from the north.
‘But that would be quite out of Miss Meltham’s way,’ Mr Appleton pointed out.
‘No need to worry about that,’ said Deborah quickly. ‘I know my way home from here and if Sir Geoffrey will allow the groom to go with me I shall be quite content.’
‘I will, Miss Meltham, with pleasure, but I would prefer one of the gentlemen to accompany you instead. Victor, perhaps you will go with her, see her home safe?’
‘Yes, yes,’ said Lady Gomersham, momentarily withdrawing her attention from her daughter. ‘Do say you will go with her, Mr Victor. I know it would not be a chore for you, since you ride together regularly.’
It was a sensible suggestion. Quite logical, but Gil wished with all his heart it had not been made. He considered asking Mr Appleton to take his place, but the fellow was not a young man and he was already tired from the day’s exertion.
‘Really, I have no need of a chaperon,’ put in Deborah, her chin up. ‘A groom’s company will suffice perfectly.’
Her tone caught Gil on the raw. She was clearly referring to their earlier conversation.
‘Nonsense, my dear.’ Lady Gomersham dismissed her arguments with an imperious wave. ‘Mr Victor does not object, I am sure. And it is not so far out of his way, after all.’
All eyes were on Gil. He could only smile and agree that he would be delighted to ride with Miss Meltham. Sir Geoffrey pronounced everything settled and the party split up, although it was clear to Gil that Deborah was not happy with the arrangement. She rode beside him in stony silence for the first part of the journey, until they were obliged to stop while he opened a farm gate. Then she addressed him with cutting formality.
‘Pray feel free to ride on, Mr Victor. I would not inflict my company upon you.’
‘I have assured Sir Geoffrey that I shall see you home.’
‘Even though you do not wish to do so.’
No, he did not wish to do so. Yet this was his opportunity and he must take it.
‘You mistook me earlier. I want to see you, to be in your company, but I am thinking of your reputation.’
She did not look convinced.
He could not stop himself. He said, ‘I do not wish to hurt you, Deborah.’
‘I told you at the outset I expected nothing from you.’ Her head dropped a little and her voice softened as she added quietly, ‘Except perhaps friendship.’
He felt as if a giant hand was squeezing his heart. How could he even offer her that?
‘I think there are things you are not telling me,’ she said slowly. ‘You have some deep sorrow in you. I wish you would share it with me, Gil.’
Her perception startled him, but he recovered quickly.
‘There is nothing to tell.’
* * *
Deborah saw the shadow in his eyes and her heart went out to him. Somehow he had withdrawn from her today and she was surprised how much that hurt her. She felt in some inexplicable way that he was trying to protect her, but she did not understand. She said now, ‘I do not believe that. Is it because you were in the army? Is it something in your past, too painful to relate?’
‘Something like that.’
‘We all have our own sorrows. Mine is my brother.’
She wondered suddenly if it was Ran’s wildness that had offended Gil. After all, he was her brother and it did not reflect well upon her.
She said impulsively, ‘Pray do not think too badly of him.’
His face darkened. ‘I think he is a very wild young man.’
‘He has been led astray. Perhaps you think I would say that, out of loyalty, but I truly believe it. As a boy he was the best brother anyone could have. I think, I believe Ran would have been better off at home rather than at school. He could then have learned from Papa’s example and possibly followed his principals more nearly. I hoped Ran would be better at Oxford, but he allowed himself to be influenced more than he should by others.’
Winning the Mail-order Bride & Pursued for the Viscount's Vengeance & Redeeming the Rogue Knight (9781488021725) Page 29
