Miss Nancy and her supposed Husband both turned pale, and looked rather foolish than otherwise upon the Occasion; but Mrs. Miller took the first Opportunity of withdrawing; and having sent for Jones into the Dining Room, she threw herself at his Feet, and in a most passionate Flood of Tears, called him her good Angel, the Preserver of her poor little Family, with many other respectful and endearing Appellations, and made him every Acknowledgment which the highest Benefit can extract from the most grateful Heart.
After the first Gust of her Passion was a little over, which she declared, if she had not vented, would have burst her, she proceeded to inform Mr. Jones, that all Matters were settled between Mr. Nightingale and her Daughter, and that they were to be married the next Morning: At which Mr. Jones having expressed much Pleasure, the poor Woman fell again into a Fit of Joy and Thanksgiving, which he at length with Difficulty silenced, and prevailed on her to return with him back to the Company, whom they found in the same good Humour in which they had left them.
This little Society now past two or three very agreeable Hours together, in which the Uncle, who was a very great Lover of his Bottle, had so well ply’d his Nephew, that this latter, though not drunk, began to be somewhat flustered; and now Mr. Nightingale taking the old Gentleman with him up Stairs into the Apartment he had lately occupied, unbosomed himself as follows:
‘As you have been always the best and kindest of Uncles to me, and as you have shewn such unparallelled Goodness in forgiving this Match, which to be sure may be thought a little improvident; I should never forgive myself if I attempted to deceive you in any thing.’ He then confessed the Truth, and opened the whole Affair.
‘How, Jack! said the old Gentleman, and are you really then not married to this young Woman?’ ‘No, upon my Honour, answered Nightingale, I have told you the simple Truth.’ ‘My dear Boy, cries the Uncle kissing him, I am heartily glad to hear it. I never was better pleased in my Life. If you had been married I should have assisted you as much as was in my Power, to have made the best of a bad Matter; but there is a great Difference between considering a Thing which is already done and irrecoverable, and that which is yet to do. Let your Reason have fair Play, Jack, and you will see this Match in so foolish and preposterous a Light, that there will be no Need of any dissuasive Arguments.’ ‘How, Sir! replies young Nightingale, is there this Difference between having already done an Act, and being in Honour engaged to do it?’ ‘Pugh, said the Uncle, Honour is a Creature of the World’s making, and the World hath the Power of a Creator over it, and may govern and direct it as they please. Now you well know how trivial these Breaches of Contract are thought; even the grossest make but the Wonder and Conversation of a Day. Is there a Man who afterwards will be more backward in giving you his Sister or Daughter? Or is there any Sister or Daughter who would be more backward to receive you? Honour is not concerned in these Engagements.’ ‘Pardon me, dear Sir, cries Nightingale, I can never think so; and not only Honour, but Conscience and Humanity are concerned. I am well satisfied, that was I now to disappoint the young Creature, her Death would be the Consequence, and I should look upon myself as her Murderer; nay, as her Murderer by the cruellest of all Methods, by breaking her Heart.’ ‘Break her Heart, indeed! no, no, Jack, cries the Uncle, the Hearts of Women are not so soon broke; they are tough, Boy, they are tough.’ ‘But, Sir,’ answered Nightingale, ‘my own Affections are engaged, and I never could be happy with any other Woman. How often have I heard you say, that Children should be always suffered to chuse for themselves, and that you would let my Cousin Harriet do so!’ ‘Why ay,’ replied the old Gentleman, ‘so I would have them; but then I would have them chuse wisely.—Indeed, Jack, you must and shall leave this Girl.’—‘Indeed, Uncle,’ cries the other, ‘I must and will have her.’ ‘You will, young Gentleman?’ said the Uncle; ‘I did not expect such a Word from you. I should not wonder if you had used such Language to your Father, who hath always treated you like a Dog, and kept you at the Distance which a Tyrant preserves over his Subjects; but I, who have lived with you upon an equal Footing, might surely expect better Usage: But I know how to account for it all! it is all owing to your preposterous Education, in which I have had too little Share. There is my Daughter now, whom I have brought up as my Friend, never doth any Thing without my Advice, nor ever refuses to take it when I give it her.’ ‘You have never yet given her Advice in an Affair of this Kind,’ said Nightingale, ‘for I am greatly mistaken in my Cousin, if she would be very ready to obey even your most positive Commands in abandoning her Inclinations.’ ‘Don’t abuse my Girl,’ answered the old Gentleman with some Emotion; ‘don’t abuse my Harriet. I have brought her up to have no Inclinations contrary to my own. By suffering her to do whatever she pleases, I have enured her to a Habit of being pleased to do whatever I like.’ ‘Pardon me, Sir,’ said Nightingale, ‘I have not the least Design to reflect on my Cousin, for whom I have the greatest Esteem; and indeed I am convinced you will never put her to so severe a Trial, or lay such hard Commands on her as you would do on me.—But, dear Sir, let us return to the Company; for they will begin to be uneasy at our long Absence. I must beg one Favour of my dear Uncle, which is that he would not say any Thing to shock the poor Girl or her Mother.’ ‘O you need not fear me,’ answered he, ‘I understand myself too well to affront Women; so I will readily grant you that Favour, and in Return I must expect another of you.’ ‘There are but few of your Commands, Sir,’ said Nightingale, ‘which I shall not very chearfully obey.’ ‘Nay, Sir, I ask nothing,’ said the Uncle, ‘but the Honour of your Company home to my Lodging, that I may reason the Case a little more fully with you: For I would, if possible, have the Satisfaction of preserving my Family, notwithstanding the headstrong Folly of my Brother, who, in his own Opinion, is the wisest Man in the World.’
Nightingale, who well knew his Uncle to be as headstrong as his Father, submitted to attend him Home, and then they both returned back into the Room, where the old Gentleman promised to carry himself with the same Decorum which he had before maintained.
CHAPTER X.
A short Chapter, which concludes the Book.
The long Absence of the Uncle and Nephew had occasioned some Disquiet in the Minds of all whom they had left behind them; and the more, as during the preceding Dialogue, the Uncle had more than once elevated his Voice, so as to be heard down Stairs; which, tho’ they could not distinguish what he said, had caused some evil foreboding in Nancy and her Mother, and indeed even in Jones himself.
When the good Company therefore again assembled, there was a visible Alteration in all their Faces; and the good Humour which, at their last Meeting, universally shone forth in every Countenance, was now changed into a much less agreeable Aspect. It was a Change indeed common enough to the Weather in this Climate, from Sunshine to Clouds, from June to December.
This Alteration was not however greatly remarked by any present; for as they were all now endeavouring to conceal their own Thoughts, and to act a Part, they became all too busily engaged in the Scene to be Spectators of it. Thus neither the Uncle nor Nephew saw any Symptoms of Suspicion in the Mother or Daughter; nor did the Mother or Daughter remark the over-acted Complaisance of the old Man, nor the counterfeit Satisfaction which grinned in the Features of the young one.
Something like this, I believe, frequently happens, where the whole Attention of two Friends being engaged in the Part which each is to act, in order to impose on the other, neither sees nor suspects the Art practised against himself; and thus the Thrust of both (to borrow no improper Metaphor on the Occasion) alike takes Place.
From the same Reason it is no unusual Thing for both Parties to be over-reached in a Bargain, though the one must be always the greater Loser; as was he who sold a blind Horse, and received a bad Note in Payment.
Our Company in about half an Hour broke up, and the Uncle carried off his Nephew; but not before the latter had assured Miss Nancy, in a Whisper, that he would attend her early in the Morning, and fulfil
all his Engagements.
Jones, who was the least concerned in this Scene, saw the most. He did indeed suspect the very Fact; for besides observing the great Alteration in the Behaviour of the Uncle, the Distance he assumed, and his overstrained Civility to Miss Nancy; the carrying off a Bridegroom from his Bride at that Time of Night, was so extraordinary a Proceeding, that it could be accounted for, only by imagining that young Nightingale had revealed the whole Truth, which the apparent Openness of his Temper, and his being flustered with Liquor, made too probable.
While he was reasoning with himself, whether he should acquaint these poor People with his Suspicion, the Maid of the House informed him, that a Gentlewoman desired to speak with him.———He went immediately out, and taking the Candle from the Maid, ushered his Visitant up Stairs, who, in the Person of Mrs. Honour, acquainted him with such dreadful News concerning his Sophia, that he immediately lost all Consideration for every other Person; and his whole Stock of Compassion was entirely swallowed up in Reflections on his own Misery, and on that of his unfortunate Angel.
What this dreadful Matter was, the Reader will be informed, after we have first related the many preceding Steps which produced it, and those will be the Subject of the following Book.
BOOK XV.
In which the History advances about two Days.
CHAPTER I.
Too short to need a Preface.
There are a Set of Religious, or rather Moral Writers, who teach that Virtue is the certain Road to Happiness, and Vice to Misery, in this World. A very wholesome and comfortable Doctrine, and to which we have but one Objection, namely, That it is not true.1
Indeed, if by Virtue these Writers mean the Exercise of those Cardinal Virtues, which like good House-wives stay at home, and mind only the Business of their own Family, I shall very readily concede the Point; For so surely do all these contribute and lead to Happiness, that I could almost wish, in Violation of all the antient and modern Sages, to call them rather by the Name of Wisdom, than by that of Virtue: For with Regard to this Life, no System, I conceive, was ever wiser than that of the antient Epicureans, who held this Wisdom to constitute the chief Good; nor foolisher than that of their Opposites, those modern Epicures, who place all Felicity in the abundant Gratification of every sensual Appetite.2
But if by Virtue is meant (as I almost think it ought) a certain relative Quality, which is always busying itself without Doors, and seems as much interested in pursuing the Good of others as its own; I cannot so easily agree that this is the surest Way to human Happiness; because I am afraid we must then include Poverty and Contempt, with all the Mischiefs which Backbiting, Envy, and Ingratitude can bring on Mankind, in our Idea of Happiness; nay, sometimes perhaps we shall be obliged to wait upon the said Happiness to a Goal; since many by the above Virtue have brought themselves thither.
I have not now Leisure to enter upon so large a Field of Speculation, as here seems opening upon me; my Design was to wipe off a Doctrine that lay in my Way; since while Mr. Jones was acting the most virtuous Part imaginable in labouring to preserve his Fellow-creatures from Destruction, the Devil, or some other evil Spirit, one perhaps cloathed in human Flesh, was hard at Work to make him completely miserable in the Ruin of his Sophia.
This therefore would seem an Exception to the above Rule, if indeed it was a Rule; but as we have in our Voyage through Life seen so many other Exceptions to it, we chuse to dispute the Doctrine on which it is founded, which we don’t apprehend to be Christian, which we are convinced is not true, and which is indeed destructive of one of the noblest Arguments that Reason alone can furnish for the Belief of Immortality.
But as the Reader’s Curiosity (if he hath any) must be now awake, and hungry, we shall provide to feed it as fast as we can.
CHAPTER II.
In which is opened a very black Design against Sophia.
I remember a wise old Gentleman, who used to say, ‘When Children are doing Nothing, they are doing Mischief.’ I will not enlarge this quaint Saying to the most beautiful Part of the Creation in general; but so far I may be allowed, that when the Effects of female Jealousy do not appear openly in their proper Colours of Rage and Fury, we may suspect that mischievous Passion to be at work privately, and attempting to undermine, what it doth not attack above ground.
This was exemplified in the Conduct of Lady Bellaston, who, under all the Smiles which she wore in her Countenance, concealed much Indignation against Sophia; and as she plainly saw, that this young Lady stood between her and the full Indulgence of her Desires, she resolved to get rid of her by some Means or other; nor was it long before a very favourable Opportunity of accomplishing this presented itself to her.
The Reader may be pleased to remember, that when Sophia was thrown into that Consternation at the Play-house, by the Wit and Humour of a Set of young Gentlemen who call themselves the Town, we informed him, that she had put herself under the Protection of a young Nobleman, who had very safely conducted her to her Chair.
This Nobleman, who frequently visited Lady Bellaston, had more than once seen Sophia there, since her Arrival in Town, and had conceived a very great Liking to her; which Liking, as Beauty never looks more amiable than in Distress, Sophia had in this Fright so encreased, that he might now, without any great Impropriety, be said to be actually in Love with her.
It may easily be believed, that he would not suffer so handsome an Occasion of improving his Acquaintance with the beloved Object as now offered itself, to elapse, when even Good-breeding alone might have prompted him to pay her a Visit.
The next Morning therefore, after this Accident, he waited on Sophia, with the usual Compliments, and Hopes that she had received no Harm from her last Night’s Adventure.
As Love, like Fire, when once thoroughly kindled, is soon blown into a Flame; Sophia in a very short Time completed her Conquest. Time now flew away unperceived, and the noble Lord had been two Hours in Company with the Lady, before it entered into his Head that he had made too long a Visit. Though this Circumstance alone would have alarmed Sophia, who was somewhat more a Mistress of Computation at present; she had indeed much more pregnant Evidence from the Eyes of her Lover of what past within his Bosom; nay, though he did not make any open Declaration of his Passion, yet many of his Expressions were rather too warm, and too tender, to have been imputed to Complaisance, even in the Age when such Complaisance was in Fashion; the very Reverse of which is well known to be the reigning Mode at present.
Lady Bellaston had been apprised of his Lordship’s Visit at his first Arrival; and the Length of it very well satisfied her, that Things went as she wished, and as indeed she had suspected the second Time she saw this young Couple together. This Business she rightly, I think, concluded, that she should by no Means forward by mixing in the Company while they were together; she therefore ordered her Servants, that when my Lord was going, they should tell him, she desired to speak with him; and employed the intermediate Time in meditating how best to accomplish a Scheme which she made no doubt but his Lordship would very readily embrace the Execution of.
Lord Fellamar (for that was the Title of this young Nobleman) was no sooner introduced to her Ladyship, than she attacked him in the following Strain: ‘Bless me, my Lord, are you here yet? I thought my Servants had made a Mistake, and let you go away; and I wanted to see you about an Affair of some Importance.’——‘Indeed, Lady Bellaston,’ said he, ‘I don’t wonder you are astonished at the Length of my Visit: For I have staid above two Hours, and I did not think I had staid above half a one.’—‘What am I to conclude from thence, my Lord?’ said she, ‘The Company must be very agreeable which can make Time slide away so very deceitfully.’—‘Upon my Honour,’ said he, ‘the most agreeable I ever saw. Pray tell me, Lady Bellaston, who is this blazing Star which you have produced among us all of a sudden?’—‘What blazing Star, my Lord?’ said she, affecting a Surprize. ‘I mean,’ said he, ‘the Lady I saw here the other Day, whom I had last Night in my Arms at the Play
-house, and to whom I have been making that unreasonable Visit.’—‘O my Cousin Western!’ said she, ‘why that blazing Star, my Lord, is the Daughter of a Country Booby Squire, and hath been in Town about a Fortnight, for the first Time.’— ‘Upon my Soul,’ said he, ‘I should swear she had been bred in a Court; for besides her Beauty, I never saw any Thing so genteel, so sensible, so polite.’—‘O brave!’ cries the Lady, ‘my Cousin hath you, I find.’—‘Upon my Honour,’ answered he, ‘I wish she had: For I am in Love with her to Distraction.’—‘Nay, my Lord,’ said she, ‘it is not wishing yourself very ill neither, for she is a very great Fortune: I assure you she is an only Child, and her Father’s Estate is a good 3000l. a Year.’ ‘Then I can assure you, Madam,’ answered the Lord, ‘I think her the best Match in England.’ ‘Indeed, my Lord,’ replied she, ‘if you like her, I heartily wish you had her.’ ‘If you think so kindly of me, Madam,’ said he, ‘as she is a Relation of yours, will you do me the Honour to propose it to her Father?’ ‘And are you really then in earnest?’ cries the Lady, with an affected Gravity. ‘I hope, Madam,’ answered he, ‘you have a better Opinion of me, than to imagine I would jest with your Ladyship in an Affair of this Kind.’ ‘Indeed then,’ said the Lady, ‘I will most readily propose your Lordship to her Father; and I can, I believe, assure you of his joyful Acceptance of the Proposal; but there is a Bar, which I am almost ashamed to mention; and yet it is one you will never be able to conquer. You have a Rival, my Lord, and a Rival who, though I blush to name him, neither you, nor all the World will ever be able to conquer.’ ‘Upon my Word, Lady Bellaston,’ cries he, ‘you have struck a Damp to my Heart, which hath almost deprived me of Being.’ ‘Fie! my Lord,’ said she, ‘I should rather hope I had struck Fire into you. A Lover, and talk of Damps in your Heart! I rather imagined you would have asked your Rival’s Name, that you might have immediately entered the Lists with him.’ ‘I promise you, Madam,’ answered he, ‘there are very few Things I would not undertake for your charming Cousin: But pray who is this happy Man?’—‘Why he is,’ said she, ‘what I am sorry to say most happy Men with us are, one of the lowest Fellows in the World. He is a Beggar, a Bastard, a Foundling, a Fellow in meaner Circumstances than one of your Lordship’s Footmen.’ ‘And is it possible,’ cried he, ‘that a young Creature with such Perfections should think of bestowing herself so unworthily?’ ‘Alas! my Lord,’ answered she, ‘consider the Country—the Bane of all young Women is the Country. There they learn a Set of romantic Notions of Love, and I know not what Folly, which this Town and good Company can scarce eradicate in a whole Winter.’ ‘Indeed, Madam,’ replied my Lord, ‘your Cousin is of too immense a Value to be thrown away: Such Ruin as this must be prevented.’ ‘Alas!’ cries she, ‘my Lord, how can it be prevented? The Family have already done all in their Power; but the Girl is, I think, intoxicated, and nothing less than Ruin will content her. And to deal more openly with you, I expect every Day to hear she is run away with him.’ ‘What you tell me, Lady Bellaston,’ answered his Lordship, ‘affects me most tenderly, and only raises my Compassion instead of lessening my Adoration of your Cousin. Some Means must be found to preserve so inestimable a Jewel. Hath your Ladyship endeavoured to reason with her?’ Here the Lady affected a Laugh, and cried, ‘My dear Lord, sure you know us better than to talk of reasoning a young Woman out of her Inclinations? These inestimable Jewels are as deaf as the Jewels they wear: Time, my Lord, Time is the only Medicine to cure their Folly; but this is a Medicine, which I am certain she will not take; nay, I live in hourly Horrors on her Account. In short, nothing but violent Methods will do.’ ‘What is to be done?’ cries my Lord, ‘What Methods are to be taken?—Is there any Method upon Earth?—Oh! Lady Bellaston! there is nothing which I would not undertake for such a Reward.’—‘I really know not,’ answered the Lady, after a Pause; and then pausing again, she cried out, —‘Upon my Soul, I am at my Wit’s End on this Girl’s Account.—If she can be preserved, something must be done immediately; and as I say, nothing but violent Methods will do.—If your Lordship hath really this Attachment to my Cousin, (and to do her Justice, except in this silly Inclination, of which she will soon see her Folly, she is every Way deserving) I think there may be one Way, indeed it is a very disagreeable one, and what I am almost afraid to think of.——It requires a great Spirit, I promise you.’ ‘I am not conscious, Madam,’ said he, ‘of any Defect there; nor am I, I hope, suspected of any such. It must be an egregious Defect indeed, which could make me backward on this Occasion.’ ‘Nay, my Lord,’ answered she, ‘I am far from doubting you. I am much more inclined to doubt my own Courage; for I must run a monstrous Risque. In short, I must place such a Confidence in your Honour as a wise Woman will scarce ever place in a Man on any Consideration.’ In this Point likewise my Lord very well satisfied her; for his Reputation was extremely clear, and common Fame did him no more than Justice, in speaking well of him. ‘Well then,’ said she, ‘my Lord, —I—I vow, I can’t bear the Apprehension of it.—No, it must not be.—At least every other Method shall be tried. Can you get rid of your Engagements, and dine here to-day? Your Lordship will have an Opportunity of seeing a little more of Miss Western.— I promise you we have no Time to lose. Here will be no Body but Lady Betty, and Miss Eagle, and Colonel Hampsted, and Tom Edwards; they will all go soon, —and I shall be at Home to no Body. Then your Lordship may be a little more explicit. Nay, I will contrive some Method to convince you of her Attachment to this Fellow.’ My Lord made proper Compliments, accepted the Invitation, and then they parted to dress, it being now past three in the Morning, or to reckon by the old Style1 in the Afternoon.
The History of Tom Jones (Penguin Classics) Page 88
