He laughed, a breathless laugh. “I didn’t realize that you’d liked me like that until my cousin told me.”
I rolled my eyes and took an efficient turn onto Main Street. I struggled to get out the words. “Don’t worry about it, because all the time I spent away from here got me over you and I’ve never looked back.” I said it kinda mean. Partly because I was embarrassed that he’d known about the Paisley incident and he’d never told me. Partly because the Snow family was annoying. Partly because I hated the fact that I wasn’t really over him.
We were only fifty feet from the finish line, Kevin roared out a laugh and kicked up his speed. “Say what you want, Molly O’Hare.” He flashed back a wicked grin to me before he went across the finish line. “But I know you could never resist a man that could beat you in a race.”
Chapter Fourteen
I SHOVED PANCAKES INTO MY MOUTH.
My mother sat next to me with a grin as wide as the time I’d made her a crocheted sign that said ‘Mother of the Year.’ “Nice race out there.”
“Thanks.” I resisted the urge to look at Kevin, who sat next to his parents and Lacey. Laughter ricocheted off of their table. I wasn’t seething, but the truth of Kevin’s words haunted me. I wasn’t good with grudges.
She sighed. “I’ve always imagined I could run the way you ran out there.”
Her hip. I hadn’t asked about how it was doing for a long time. “Mom, how is it feeling?”
She brushed her hand into the air. “Fine. I’m fine. It’s what it is. I don’t even really think about it.” She grinned. “But it makes me so happy to see you sprinting. You did good.”
My heart warmed. “Thanks.”
“You know Kevin has run a couple of marathons and he does triathlons?” She let out an appreciative sigh. “Every time he comes home, I see him running down our street. He always goes late at night like he’s running away from some bad dream.”
Dream.
“I wonder if he’ll keep it up since he’s not going back to Washington.”
“He’s not?” I asked too quickly.
My mother smiled and glanced at Kevin. “No. With Janet and Lacey…he’s doing online classes for a while.”
My heart tugged toward the soft version of Kevin. The one that loved Lacey so much. “Was she pretty, mom?”
The way my mother started, told me she knew who I was asking about. Her eyebrows lifted. “Not as pretty as you.”
Loyalty. I grinned. “What did she look like?”
My mother smoothed her hair down to her ear. “Let’s see, she had this long, horrible brown hair. She was tall. Probably five ten.” Her eyes fluttered. “But her eyes were too close together.” She scrunched up her nose and winked at me.
Warmth flooded me. I giggled.
She grinned back and cleared her throat. “I just spoke to your father and told him we’d be coming up there after this. I told him we’d bring him some of these pancakes, they’re pretty good, don’t you think?”
“What? Yeah.” I stared at Kevin’s cousin, Brad, the one who’d been the spy in the tenth grade. He moved to Kevin’s table and gave him a high five. Kevin wore his medal, the one they’d given out at the insane ‘awards’ after the race, where he’d posed with me and the other guy that’d won the bronze medal and made us scrunch down like we were in the Olympics and he deserved to be at the top.
Kevin looked up, giving me a wave. His cousin waved, too.
I dropped my fork.
“Molly?”
I bent to pick up my fork and serious irritation flicked through me. Who did he think he was? Throwing a snowball at me, making me feel like he wanted me to stay, dragging me to this stupid race and then throwing it in my face that he won—on the heels of telling me he’d been engaged.
“Molly!”
I turned to her. “What?”
“Did you hear me?”
“No, what did you say?”
“Pastor John asked me to have you go see him after you ate. Hurry and talk to him and then let’s go see your father.”
***
I found Pastor John next to the water cooler, engaged in lively conversation with a group of people.
He saw me and headed my way, sending them all a goodbye wave. “Excuse me, I’ll talk to you all later.”
Pastor John put his hand into the air to give me a high five. “Nice race. Keeping pace with Kevin is quite an accomplishment, I don’t know if you’ve heard that he’s quite a runner.”
Yes, I’d heard. I gave him my retail smile and high fived him back. “Thanks.”
He pushed back his glasses and cocked his head to the side. “The tree looks terrific by the way.”
I nodded, thinking about the way Lacey had looked with her red beanie hat and hot chocolate in her hands. “It turned out well.”
He scratched the side of his head nervously. “I have another favor.”
I sucked in a breath. “I’m not being an angel in the play.”
He let out a laugh. “No. Your mother actually told me you wouldn’t be able to stay for that long.”
I nodded. “Christmas Eve is the money maker in jewelry sales.”
The Pastor gave a sad sigh. “Hearing that some people don’t understand the real meaning of Christmas never surprises me, but I always find it disappointing.”
I hadn’t thought about the way Pastor John would see the desperate, willing buyers on Christmas Eve.
His eyes got misty. “You think about one event that changed mankind.
The Savior’s birth. The very way that the world judged time has been calculated according to Him. B.C.—Before Christ.” He shook his head. “There is a movement to have people say that B.C. really means Before Common. But, it’s just a cover for the real thing. And A.D. After Death.” He sighed. “One person being born on the earth was significant enough to judge time. Before He was born and after He died. That is a pretty big deal.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t even celebrated Christmas and hadn’t been to church since I’d left. To say that I’d never thought about the fact that His birth was so significant that time was counted according to it, made me feel bad. “That’s interesting.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Pastor John smiled at me and then he laughed. “You didn’t think you were going to get a history lesson, did you?”
I shrugged. “It’s okay.”
His eyes narrowed. “How are you, Molly?”
I frowned. “Good.” I answered too quickly.
He cocked his head to the side. “We’ve missed you in Snow Valley.”
“Yeah,” I said noncommittally. I looked back up to his kind face and didn’t know why I admitted the next part to him. “It’s been hard.” My lip trembled.
He paused and instant tears misted his eyes. “You’ve been in my heart, Molly. I’ve been praying for you.”
This amazed me, even though I knew it shouldn’t, he prayed a lot.
He let out a loud breath. “Molly, I have counseled a lot of people with your condition.”
“My condition?”
“Heartbreak.”
My hand went to my heart. “This isn’t about Kevin.” Not most of it.
He dropped his hand from my shoulder and pushed his glasses back. “I know.”
“You know?”
He didn’t speak for a second, his eyes wandered over the crowd. He gestured to someone.
I looked and saw Lacey in Kevin’s arms, both of them making faces at each other, Lacey squealing.
“You take Lacey there. She has a mother dying.”
“I know.” My heart was beating rapidly, but I didn’t want to talk about it.
He turned back to me. “That girl,” he said and let out a short laugh. “That little girl knows heartbreak.” His eyes glistened, again. “And do you know what she asks me every time I see her?”
“What?”
“Who needs help? Who she can visit in the hospital when she’s there to see her mom.�
�
I blinked.
“Matthew 16:25. For whosever will save his life shall lose it: and whosever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
I had no idea why he was quoting scripture to me. I wiped my eyes. “What?”
He gently took my arm. “If you would look outside of your pain, you would see that there are many people that need you. You would see that…they have pain, too.”
I didn’t move. The idea that I wasn’t seeing someone else’s pain…I couldn’t believe it. A tear fell down my cheek. “You just don’t understand.”
“Remember that the Savior was born to this world to redeem us. To forgive us. To make up for all the pain and heartbreak. Remember that. And, even though I might not understand, God does. And He has a plan for your life. Talk to Him.”
I was stupefied. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually prayed. A real prayer. I sniffed. “Is that the favor?”
He grinned. “About that favor, could you help sell concessions at the three-on-three tournament today from four to seven? Addy is in charge of staffing that—you know all proceeds from the tournament go to the hospital, don’t you?”
Before I could nod, he continued. “Well, once again, she needs extra help and I thought of you.”
Immediately, I was relieved. “I can’t.”
He put up a severe hand. “Now, hold on. I know your mother said that you all were taking your father home. If the time doesn’t work out, just have your mother call Addy and let her know you won’t be able to do it. No big deal. We’re extremely short staffed this year with...” He paused. “The flu. Yes, the flu that everyone’s been catching.”
“Flu?” I hadn’t heard about this flu, but I had been groomed from a very young age to take notice when the word ‘flu’ was mentioned.
He exhaled. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
I looked around the pancake breakfast, it didn’t seem like people were down with the flu, the place was packed.
Pastor John waved at someone across the room and backed away. “Okay, well, I must be running, I’m on the clean-up committee and Addy will have me strung up if I don’t get going.”
“Okay.” I watched him leave and wondered how I’d just ended up agreeing to another ‘favor’ for Pastor John and why God’s plan kept coming up.
Chapter Fifteen
THE HOSPITAL LOOKED VERY…Snow Valley Christmasy, I noted as we walked past the star filled tree on the way into the hospital. It didn’t seem like the bad thing that it had when I’d first come into town. Susan Hinks manned the front desk. She waved and winked at me as my mother and I walked past.
“I just love that woman.” My mother commented as we strolled down the hall.
“She likes you, too.”
When we got into the room, my father not only looked good, he’d already dressed and was sitting on the edge of his bed, with no tubes attached.
My mother fluttered. “Matthew, why are you already dressed?”
His hair was combed, too. “Because I’m ready to go home to my two girls.” Both of his arms lifted and I couldn’t help getting sucked into a family hug.
The nurse bustled into the room. She grinned. “He’s been waiting for you two today. He’s bent on getting home and getting his presents wrapped.”
My mother shook her head. “Oh, no, when you get home you’re getting in bed, you better get your mind wrapped around the fact you will be down for a good while.”
My father didn’t argue, but he looked at me and rolled his eyes.
“That’s fine. I’ll get in bed as long as my Molly promises to sit and sing Irish songs with me.”
Sudden emotion tugged at my heart. I thought of my father’s recent pain. I nodded. “Okay.”
The longest wait involved in getting my father home, was waiting for the doctor to officially release him from the hospital. Dr. Taggert finally showed up around eleven. When he checked my father and saw his energy had returned, he wrote a quick prescription and signed the paperwork. “Keep his load light.”
I drove us back to the ranch. My mother insisted on sitting in the back with him.
“How about we stop and get one of Big C’s burgers for dinner.” My father pointed as we went past.
I slowed the car.
“No.” My mother waved me forward. “He is not having a burger. In fact, we are watching your diet just as the doctor ordered.”
My father sighed, but I picked up speed, silently agreeing with my mother.
“I booked a flight for tomorrow night.”
“What?” My mother’s voice was annoyed.
“I told you, Mom, I have to be back for the big Christmas Eve sale.”
I felt bad about it, but I’d scheduled it the second I’d officially cancelled the other one.
My father grunted. “It’s okay, my Katie. My Molly has come home to us. Now she’ll come more, won’t you?”
I pushed away thoughts of that letter. “Sure.”
My mother made a noise to show she disapproved of the fact I was leaving. “I just wish you wanted to stay.”
The numb part of me that existed when I’d first gotten to Snow Valley had somehow escaped—run away—and left me with something I didn’t think I was capable of anymore—the power to want to be in Snow Valley.
***
After Dad got settled into bed with a hot cup of lemon tea, he called me into the room and pointed to the red rocking chair he’d rocked me in as a baby.
For some reason, seeing the chair and what it symbolized bugged me.
“You promised to sing with me, my Molly.”
Because I didn’t want to be difficult, I sat.
He plunked the Irish poetry book into my hands. “Let’s start with a song and then have you get to the poetry.” He cleared his throat and began. “An Irish lass will break your heart, if you give her the dance she wants.” He wound his hand through the air, pushing me to sing.
All the years and all the memories of singing with him flooded me. Of the way I felt when I sung with him—cherished, loved, wanted. Which I knew wasn’t true. I knew was a lie.
“And all she wants is to give her man, a lovely simple kiss,” he continued.
I joined in. “And she walks all day to gather the eggs, to feed the pigs, to hear the river bend.” Our voices quieted. “But the thing she does by moonlight, is why this song is wrote…tra la la…tra la de da. Love’s first true kiss, wrapped in the warmth of her lover’s arms, she knows her life is bliss.”
We stopped. He grinned. Tears burned down my cheeks.
His brows furrowed. “My Molly, why are you crying?”
“Why?” I burned with anger. “Why did you want mom to have an abortion?”
A gasp came from behind me and I turned back to see my mother standing there, her hand covering her mouth.
I stood, looking between them. “I saw that letter. I saw the letter where you told mom to get an abortion.” Tears washed down my face. Unstoppable. I leveled a glare at him and then looked back at her. “It said that you had dreams for your life and he didn’t want you to waste them. It said…that your love was never meant to be. Why wasn’t it meant to be? And why did you decide to keep me when I was such a burden?”
At my words, my mother flew out of the room, gulping down a sob. I sat there wondering what I’d done by bringing this up now.
The wrinkles around my father’s eyes deepened. He laid back into the pillow, all the happiness gone. He closed his eyes. “Go help out at the concessions, I need to speak to your mother alone.”
Chapter Sixteen
A HOT MESS, THAT’S WHAT I WAS. I’d changed and fixed my hair and makeup before coming to the high school gym. Being back in Snow Valley had brought up enough ‘issues.’ I didn’t need anyone seeing through my makeup veneer. I put the retail smile on and greeted Addy.
Addy might be seventy-eight, but she could bark out orders better than any young general. “Oh, Molly, you came!” She rushed over and gave me
a vanilla scented hug. Her fake blonde hair was a helmet of ratting and hairspray around her head. Her lips painted with red lipstick. Her fake nails scratched my hand as she covered it with her own. “When Pastor John said he really thought you would like to fill in during Kevin’s shift, well, I was thrilled.”
A surge of anger stirred through me. Pastor John. The flu. Grrr.
She flashed another smile. “If you’ll take over for the cotton candy maker. Be warned, it’s been the most popular item and you have to stay on it.”
I smiled. “Sounds good.”
The overloaded gym roared.
“Hey, Molly.” I paused and turned back.
Addy lifted her hands and gave quick shakes of her head. “Where are my manners? Welcome home.”
My lips didn’t move at her words. I thought of my mother and father, at this moment, talking about what they would say to me. My chest tightened. “Thanks.”
I moved rapidly into the concession booth just outside of the gym.
“Well, second place decides to show up.” Kevin stood next to the cash register, a grin on his face, his hair in his eyes. His fresh rain cologne filled me and I unwillingly grinned back at him. My real smile.
He looked at the teenage girl working the cotton candy machine. “Who knew, Marsha, that second place could clean up this good?” He turned his appraising eyes back to me.
Marsha giggled and stood, handing me a cotton candy paper wand. “You’re crazy.” She walked past him, giggling more.
I plunked down in front of the machine and tried to remember how it was done.
Kevin got distracted with a couple of customers.
I figured out the machine. It was loud and sticky and hot. I handed a cotton candy to him.
He put it into the holder and turned back to me. “Don’t I get a kiss for first place?”
My heart pounded inside my chest. He smelled so good. I couldn’t help but think about how his facial hair was at that perfect level, not too long, not too short. It was just plain hot. I sat back down in front of the cotton candy maker.
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