“This isn’t the only one,” I inform both of them.
“What!?” Charlie demands. “There are more pictures of Elise out there? I see now why my mom called earlier, and left a message demanding I call her back.”
“No. All of the pictures of Elise are like this one.” That doesn’t make it better, though. She’s furious, and I am too. I want to sue every last one of the websites who included these photos. This is unacceptable.
She drops the tablet on the bed in front of me, and hugs her arms over her lovely breasts that she’d highlighted in the gown. “This is a nightmare.”
“Why would anyone care?” Asher asks, naively.
“Because you’re a gagillionaire,” Charlie throws back angrily.
“It has to be the Hansens. They’re the ones who would know what happened in California,” he supplies.
“And they are the ones who would have a reason to get back at you.” I’m not sure if they linked it to the securities investigation or not.
“Because I told the truth to the SEC, that they were falsely inflating their revenue numbers to boost their stock prices in preparation for the sale?”
I nod. Charlie remains eerily quiet. I slide out of the bed, and approach her slowly. “Are you okay?” I ask, as I place my hands on her shoulders. She pulls away from me, and backs toward the door.
“Charlie, wait!” Asher exclaims, but she’s already running. Apparently it’s what she does when she’s hurt. I try to grab his hand as he follows after her, but he avoids me. “I have to talk to her!”
I can’t believe this is happening. Just when I was getting comfortable. Just when I was feeling that maybe this could work out. Why can’t people just mind their own damn business?
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Charlie, let’s please discuss this.” I’ve stopped her right before she opened the door to her apartment. If it were anywhere else, I would feel weird walking around naked in her hallway. Well, I’d feel weirder. This is yet another reason to be thankful for their move to my building.
“What’s to discuss? There are pictures of me with Elise on a gossip website, Asher!” She stands with her back toward me, and her forehead and hands against her door, as if to hold herself up. She’s a strong woman, I know. She’s done a great job raising her daughter alone. It only took the knowledge of our relationship going public to break her. That hurts me more than it should. I feel like she’s ashamed of me, like my parents were.
“Summer break is almost here. We can hire a tutor, and she can be home schooled until this blows over. Then, if you prefer, we can send her to a private school. There are several very good ones in the city. I’ve been doing some research, and I…”
“Stop trying to solve the problem, Asher. It can’t be solved! We are the problem!” she screams. I hear a sob escape her lips, then she slides onto the floor and begins to cry.
I sit down beside her, on the cold wood floor, and place my hand on hers. She doesn’t pull away. That’s a good sign, isn’t it?
“It will be fine, sweetheart. We’ll make sure Elise doesn’t find out. We’ll protect her.” I try to be reassuring. I try to make her feel better. She’s the one who does that, though. Charlie is the one who nurtures. I’m not good at it, but I’ll try anything for my sweetheart.
“Ummm…” I hear from behind me, and turn to find Peyton leaning against the frame of his front door. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, much like Charlie did earlier.
“What?” Charlie demands. I return my attention to her. Tears are glittering in her beautiful blue eyes, and streaming down her cheeks. I wish more than anything I could take her hurt feelings away. She wipes her cheeks with the backs of her hands, and stares at Peyton, waiting for an answer. “Tell me!”
He’s avoiding looking at her. “She already knows. It’s how I found out.”
Charlie gasps, but says nothing. She’s much too quiet when she’s hurting.
“You might feel better if you talk about what you’re feeling, sweetheart,” I suggest. She pulls away from my touch. I close my eyes, and lean my head against the wall. “I knew the Hansens were repulsive. I just didn’t realize how low they could actually go. What can we do to fight this, Peyton?”
“You can call the lawyers first thing in the morning. I’d like to take the jet to California and use the guy as a punching bag, but that’s just me.”
“It’s not just the husband, though. The wife was just as bad, if not worse,” I inform him.
Charlie stands up, and fumbles for the door handle. “I have to leave. I have to go back home,” she insists, and opens the door.
Peyton’s athletic body moves quickly, and closes the door before she can escape. He takes her hand, and pulls her into his body. “You’re not running away tonight, girl. We need to talk about this.”
She pulls away immediately, and stumbles into the wall. “I’ve never had a man tell me what to do, and I don’t intend to start now! I don’t need you, either of you!”
“Maybe that’s your fucking problem, Charlotte. Maybe you wouldn’t be raising your daughter alone if you would stop fucking pushing people away!” he replies harshly.
“Hey!” I try to interrupt them.
“Don’t you act like you know anything about me or my life! And don’t you dare even think that you know what’s best for me and my daughter!”
“You could have everything you could possibly desire, including two men who love you more than you’ve ever imagined, and you’re willing to just throw it away because people who don’t matter anyway might think you’re doing something wrong!” Peyton yells back at her. He looks very angry. I have no idea why he’s so mad.
“Hey!” Watching the two of them argue reminds me of the beginning of the three of us, in the jet on the return flight. But I have a feeling, in the pit of my stomach, that this is where the three of us ends.
Charlie doesn’t look angry, though. She looks confused, and very sad. But she’s still screaming. “Maybe it is wrong! Maybe people think what we’re doing is wrong because it is!”
Peyton takes a deep breath and turns away from her. It looks like he’s fighting tears too. Is he not angry? I don’t understand. “I have never seen Asher as happy as he has been since he met you. I’ve never felt happiness like I’ve experienced since you came into my life. You and Elise have filled a void in my heart that I didn’t even know was there. And I think if you would let yourself admit it, you’ve been happy having men in your life. Plural. Two. Me and Asher both. You can’t let that go, Charlie. You have to fight for it. You have to fight against the people who are hurting you, not the ones who love you.”
Charlie listens as he speaks. She’s calmed down a little, and she seems to have her emotions constrained. But her voice is forceful when she argues, “You have no idea what you’re talking about. My daughter is everything to me, and I don’t want people using our relationship to attack her. I don’t want what we do in bed to hurt her. She’s all that I care about.”
“She’s all you care about?” I ask. Now I understand why Peyton is so emotional. He’s right. It’s almost as if she’s trying to make us angry, like she’s purposefully trying to fight with us. There’s no reason for her to be angry at me and Peyton. We love her, we would never hurt her. It’s not our fault these gossip sites are talking about her. It’s the Hansens’ fault. She should be as angry at them as I am. She shouldn’t be mad at us.
“You’re talking to a gay man, Charlie. You think I don’t know how it feels to be judged by other people? You think I don’t understand what it’s like to be afraid that someone might find out what I do in the bedroom?”
My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I understand what he’s saying. I’ve never been ashamed of my sexuality, mainly because I don’t feel the same need to protect other people’s feelings, until Charlie came along anyway. But I know that Peyton has a strained relationship with his parents, and his brother, because they can’t accept that he is gay. Peyton a
nd I got along so well because we both felt the same way. We didn’t flaunt our relationship, but we didn’t try to hide it either. Hiding how we feel about each other because of Elise felt like the right thing to do. Until right this very moment. Did we make the wrong choice? Should we have talked to her about it, and hoped that she would understand?
Charlie looks stunned. She doesn’t say anything. I don’t know if it’s because she is still upset, or because of what Peyton said. I wish she would explain what she’s feeling.
Peyton’s face expresses his emotions. He looks broken hearted. His normally smooth voice cracks when he tries to talk, so he has to clear his throat and try again. “I really fell for a guy in college. We were on the football team together. I’d been with guys before him, I knew I was gay. But this time, I thought it was real. We worked out together, watched movies, had sex, everything that couples did. One night, he said he needed to talk to me. I thought we were going to talk about the future. I thought he wanted to talk about a commitment. Instead, he told me that his girlfriend was pregnant, and he was dropping out of college to go to work for his dad’s construction company. He said his parents would disown him if he brought a guy home. And he said some other pretty hurtful things as well.” He’s staring into my eyes as he talks. Then he shakes his head, turns away, and runs his fingers through his hair.
Charlie gasps, and takes a step toward him. It’s in her nature to comfort him. But he takes a step back, avoids her touch, and looks at me.
“I swore to myself then that I’d never date a straight guy again. I swore that I’d never get my heart broken over a man who was confused about his sexuality, or couldn’t face the fact that he was gay. Asher thought that we could be different, that we could have something special. You made me feel that anything was possible. Elise made me feel like I might want to be a father. But it’s just more of the same bullshit all over again. I don’t want to be ashamed of my feelings, and I don’t want to be with someone who is ashamed of their feelings toward me.”
He turns toward his apartment, and places his hand on the knob. “Peyton, wait.” It’s Charlie’s turn to try to stop him. It’s fascinating to watch her emotions change so suddenly, from angry to caring in the span of seconds.
“I’ll leave, Charlie. You should be with Asher. He’s blossomed since he met you. You’re good for him. You two should be together. You can give him what he needs.”
He opens the door, and looks at Charlie. He smiles brightly. “Be happy. You deserve it.” Then he turns to me. His hazel eyes sparkle with unshed tears, and something else I can’t understand. “I love you. I’ll always love you,” he murmurs. He seems to have accepted his decision. Did he talk himself in to leaving me, leaving us?
I take a step toward him, but he raises his hand to stop me. “Peyton, what I said before is still true. I want both of you. I don’t care who knows.”
“No. This is right. You two are right. Take care of each other.” He closes the door behind him, and I hear the lock click into place.
Charlie stares at me for several moments. “I’m sorry,” she says, and takes a step toward me.
“No.” I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to not have Peyton, both of them. This isn’t right. “No.” I turn away from her, and walk toward the elevator. I push the up button, not worried that someone might see me. The doors open, and when I enter the car and turn to push the button, I find that she’s entered her apartment as well. Maybe this really is the end.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I feel the sunlight rushing in through the walls of windows in my corner bedroom. I fell asleep again gazing out at the lights of the city and the crescent moon overhead. The room is beautiful, and the view is beautiful at sunset and at night, but at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning, it can be a little too bright. Especially if you cried your eyes out all night and didn’t sleep until after three.
My life has been so empty since Peyton left. I knocked on his door the next morning, hoping that after sleeping on it I could apologize and we could move on. But he didn’t answer, and when I turned the knob it was unlocked. I let myself in, hoping that he left it open on purpose and was in the shower or something. When I made my way through his elegant apartment, and to his bedroom, I saw his closet was open and his clothes were gone.
After discovering Peyton had left, I made my way up to the penthouse. Asher was screaming at someone, I could hear him from the white room downstairs. I thought maybe it was Peyton, and I ran up the steps two at a time to break up the argument. But as I approached the bedroom, I heard him say, “I can’t wait to testify at your hearing, you bitch! I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you rot in prison. Fuck off! Have a nice life behind bars where you belong!” Then I heard a phone slam down onto the receiver. I knew who he was speaking to then. Amanda Hansen.
I leaned against the doorframe, and gazed at him. He looked like a ferocious protector, the angry head of the family who had vowed to preserve it at all costs. I’d never been more turned on, and more proud in my life.
Until he turned his eyes on me, and I could see just how furious he was. It radiated from him, and I was a little afraid. Especially when I took a step toward him and he said harshly, “No!”
“Asher, I want ta apologize,” I began, but he turned away from me.
“I need time. I want to be alone,” he said.
That was three days ago. I’ve cried myself to sleep and fallen asleep alone every night. Neither Asher nor Peyton have been in the office. And me, I’ve been completely useless.
Even Elise has noticed. She’s asked me “Mommy what’s wrong,” a hundred times.
I wipe my tears and pull myself out of the bed, and pad toward my brand new, super expensive kitchen. I wasn’t this sad when I found Patrick and Marla in bed together. I was angry, yes, but not this soul-searing sadness that I feel right now.
I try to smile at Elise, who is sitting at the island with her new computer.
“Do ya want juice?” I ask her, as I head toward the fancy fridge, with gadgets and settings that I don’t even know how to work. Peyton tried to show me, but I didn’t really understand it.
I see the accusation in her usually soft green eyes as she stares at me. “I want Peyton and Asher. I miss them. Where are they?”
“I don’t know, angel,” I reply honestly, as I pour her drink.
“What did you do to make them not like you anymore?” she demands.
I am taken aback by her harsh tone, and the fact that she blames me for what happened. “What makes you think I did something?” I demand.
Then I try to control my emotions, because she’s eight, and doesn’t understand what happened between us. I don’t even know what happened. All I know is that my heart has been crushed since I don’t have them, and I want them more than I can explain. Peyton was right. It wasn’t only Asher, it was both of them who had captured my heart. I miss both of them deeply.
“I heard you yelling a few nights ago, and then I heard you come into the apartment. You were crying, and you have been every night since.” She looks almost as sad as I feel. Her little chin is quivering, and her eyes are filled with tears.
“It’s adult stuff. It will work out,” I lie. I don’t know if it will work out or not.
“I want them back! I want you to apologize! I miss them!” she yells, and slams her cup down onto the granite countertop. Juice spills everywhere.
“Listen here, young ‘un, I don’t think you understand what it means…” I begin.
“I asked Rowan what a threesome meant, and he told me.” She shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “You’re dating Asher and Peyton, aren’t you?”
I’m mortified. I will have to have a talk with Mr. Rowan about what else he had to say about the relationship, especially what he told Elise about it.
“You did what? You really shouldn’t have…”
“I want them both to be my dads. I don’t care if you’re dating both of them, I just want them back!” she c
ries out, and jumps down off the stool to stomp toward her bedroom. “I’m not coming out of my room until they come back!”
I place my hands on the cool granite, and take a deep breath. Besides the fact that I’m embarrassed that my daughter knows, I’m stunned that she doesn’t care. I mean, of course she doesn’t care right now. But as she gets older, it will bother her, won’t it? Won’t kids tease her about it? Won’t other parents look down on her? Won’t people look at me like I’m some kind of pervert?
I’ve avoided any kind of interaction with anyone since the story came out. I haven’t even gone down to the cafeteria on the fourth floor. I never realized how convenient an apartment in the building I worked in would be. I haven’t called my mom, even though she’s left messages every day. And I obviously can’t do it forever.
I clean up the mess Elise made, and I’m starting a pot of coffee when I hear a knock on my door. I run to it and throw the door open, expecting it to be either Peyton or Asher. I’m surprised to find Asher’s butler standing in the hallway, wearing a formal suit and looking extremely attractive. I suddenly feel underdressed in my own apartment in the shorts and t-shirt I slept in.
I think about askin’ him to wait until I’ve dressed, but I don’t. I just motion with my arm, and say, “Come on in.”
“Don’t worry, you look fine,” he assures me, with a smile that shows his dimples.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” I ask, as I take a step toward the west side of the room. There is a bit of shade on that side.
“No, thank you,” he says.
“Take a seat,” I offer, as I sit on the comfortable, overstuffed grey couch.
“Thank you,” he replies, and sits on a chair opposite. “Miss Charlie, it’s about Asher. I know I shouldn’t involve myself in his private affairs, but he’s been holed up in his bedroom for three days. He’s barely eaten.”
Room For Three Page 19
