by Marcel, Zoey
Sonya grabbed a fistful of his garment and shook him as best as she could shake a taller, stronger angel as though doing so would break Nimbus' rocky coffin. “And what of you? It didn't have to be like this. I wanted to follow him that day! I would have if you hadn't stopped me.”
“And you would have been damned because of it and your son would still be soulless,” Cassiel returned, “As long as your soul is divided you cannot win.”
She turned to see the stone statue was gone. “Where did he go? What did you do to him? Where is he?”
“Nowhere you can go.”
“Tell me now, or -”
“Or what? Are you going to kill an archangel outside of heaven's gates? If it is your life's quest to damn yourself why don't you simply go bed a demon, or let a vampire bite you. You seem to be good at those things.”
She wanted to hit him, but a final shred of reverence forbid it, so she settled for pushing him away from her. “He wouldn't have hurt me.”
“Sonya, he was about to kill you.”
“He was bluffing. I heard his thoughts.”
“Go back to earth, Sonya. You have no place here. Fulfill your mission, or if Nimbus means so much to you then break your vows, but in the end when all is said and done, hell isn't orgies and one enduring party. That is the underworld. The abyss is the real hell and I can promise you that if you ever go there, there will be no one to comfort or pleasure you. The only thing you will have is memories and they will haunt you, none more so than your broken vow.”
His words made her spine and scalp tingle with dread. They were foreboding, but nothing haunted her more than an eternity without Nimbus. He was encased in stone, if not dead and the last thing he would remember about her was that she left him, betrayed him.
Cassiel gave her a comforting hug. “I was only trying to protect you.”
“I know.” She wept into his robe. The embrace brought her consolation, but Nimbus would have healed her by now. “Where did you send him?”
“I'm sorry, but I'm not at liberty to say. Spend a few days grieving, but you must fulfill your mission. And Sonya, whatever you do, do not break your vow.”
***
Sonya found Less where she left her. The voluptuous woman admired her wings in awe. “So that is what a black angel looks like. I didn't know they really existed. You have to hunt vampires now?”
Sonya nodded, trying not to break down again.
“Are you all right? You look as though you have been crying.”
Her heart clenched at the final image of Nimbus that was burned in the back of her mind permanently. She thought nothing could be as scarring as losing her soul, but the sight of the light leaving his eyes forever was much worse. “I'm well. I should be going, though.”
“To find your son?”
She made a tearful whimper and buried her face in her hands.
“Oh, Sonya, I'm sorry. What did I say?”
“I can't ever see Sully again. He is part vampire.”
“And you have to eat them now?”
Sonya wrinkled her nose. “No. I won't be eating anyone. I have to slay them and drink their blood for nourishment and atonement. That includes all vampires, even the energy ones.”
“What about the other types of demons?”
“No. I'm supposed to avoid all other demons to the best of my ability.”
“Will you have to avoid your mate as well?” Less asked.
Sonya wailed loudly as the tears gushed from her eyes. There was a lump in her throat, rendering it sore and her heart ached so badly she felt it breaking in her chest. “He is a rock.”
“Do you mean he is stubborn?”
“No. Well, yes very, but Cassiel turned him into a rock.” She sobbed bitterly. Her face felt as though it was liquid rather than skin at the moment.
“An archangel turned your lover into a pebble?”
“No, not a little rock. A great big, stone idol like the ones in the underworld temple.” She raised her head as it dawned on her. Was Nimbus now a satanic monument in an unholy shrine? Would breaking the stone release him from his granite prison, or was the solution more complex than that? “The temple.”
Less tugged her arm when she stood with determination splashed across her countenance. “I know what you are thinking and it is dangerous, not to mention utterly foolish and destructive of you. Aren't you supposed to avoid demons, not invade their kingdom?”
“What better place to find the undead,” she made excuse.
Less raised an eyebrow. “That is not the reason you want to go down there. We are free from our masters now and you want to return to yours and be his slave again? What the blazes for?”
Freedom was her slavery. Sonya knew no other freedom save for the sweet surrender of laying down her arms and lying in his. Nothing else mattered when he was holding her and nothing sure as hell mattered without him. “You wouldn't understand.”
“I cannot say I do. You are hurting now, but perhaps in time you will heal from this blow.”
“Time doesn't heal all wounds, Less.”
“Perhaps not, but maybe it will become easier to cope in time, or to pretend everything is well, enough for you to live your life.”
Survival – that's what life without him would be. A damned, meaningless waste in which she would be pushing on only to survive and atone for sins she wasn't even sure she was sorry for. The only mistake she regretted at the moment was losing her soul mate. That wasn't even considered a sin, though being with him was. “Perhaps. I shall be going now.”
“I will go with you.”
Sonya was surprised by this. “You mustn't. It will be too dangerous.”
Less looked entertained by her concern. “I was a sex slave to a soul devourer in hell. I think I can handle whatever happens to me in the future.”
“Touché, you are quite brave, but I cannot risk hurting anyone else. I have done so much damage already.” She fought back the threatening tears.
“You won't and I won't get in your way. I'm in your debt for helping me escape quietly. Any immortal who saw me leaving with you earlier likely thought nothing of it since you were a succubus. Besides, Jude may come looking for me and once he finds out you are now his only natural enemy, he will flee and never bother me again. You are doing me a favor and I shall be your faithful servant. Should vampires be scarce you may feed off of me.”
“No, I'm not allowed to touch the blood of humans. The scent doesn't even appeal to me. I can only drink from vampires.”
“In that case, I shall quell your loneliness and any needs you still have as a succubus to help nourish you,” Less offered.
“That is generous, Less, but you don't have to give yourself to anyone you don't want to ever again. If you couple with anyone I want it to be with someone you actually want to be with and care about.”
“I never have, but it might be agreeable. What is it like to make love?”
Her eyes stung. “There are no words. It is something you have to go through in order to understand.”
Less sighed. “Perhaps someday. It would have to be with a woman since they are more compassionate.”
“Not always. Remember Demornae?”
She grimaced. “True. If I sleep with a man again it must be on my terms. I want to be in control and he shall be the one to beg me for release and moan as I punish him for being a dirty little lad.”
Sonya looked at her with a smile and they laughed. “I'm glad to see that slavery has not embittered you toward the male gender.”
Less grinned. “Wouldn't you find that agreeable – to be in control of a man?”
She thought about this for a second. “No. I feel safest and most aroused when being overpowered by a strong male. A man's dominance is one of his most masculine traits. If I was with a pushover I couldn't respect him.”
“I see. I would rather be in charge. I would feel much stronger and safer knowing that I was the one deciding the boundaries of our relationship. I think it wo
uld be empowering to hold the key to a man's pleasure and make him beg to be touched and take his penalties like a good slave. Anyway, I can see you are blushing. You will let me travel with you, won't you? I have nowhere else to go. I won't be in the way.”
“What if I'm killed at some point? What about your future?”
“I have no plans for marriage and no future ambitions except to learn the dark arts of witchcraft so I can find a spell to remove this ridiculous engraving upon my forehead,” Less complained.
“It could be short for Leslie.”
“Except my birth name was Tansy.”
“I didn't know that. I can call you that if you like.”
“I would, thank you. Do you know of any witches who could teach me?”
“If I did I would tell you and find a spell for my broken heart, but I suppose I deserve it,” Sonya responded ruefully.
“Be of good cheer. I will find a way to heal us both.”
She smiled weakly.
The first rays of light flared across the sky, announcing the rising sun. Blazing orange fire burned up the morning sky with smoky purples and twilight blues with stars sparkling against it. Baby pinks swam in the sensual depths of the blue. The dark purple and bright orange were engaged in an epic battle for dominion over the sky, but the pastels wanted nothing more than to be left alone, but they couldn't be. They were a part of the sky. The light pink of day and the turquoise blue of night caressed one another as though they had forever to be together when in reality they knew that once the sun rose the blinding, glorious light would chase away all definition of color until only the warm light of day remained, just as the darkness of night swallowed the splash of colors at dusk whole in its silencing mouth.
One might wonder why the colors ever bothered to mingle if they were only to be separated in the end by the division of light and darkness. Still, there was dawn and dusk. That brief window in time when they were together and touching for one magical, fleeting moment before fading into nothingness. But it was good. It must have been for the colors to keep coming back time after time and fusing together into a vibrant masterpiece that no one would ever forget. Perhaps others might, but Sonya never would.
Returning to earth in darkness had reflected the empty, desolate hollow that was her chest and soul now. However, seeing the sun rise up over the earth this morning was the promise of new beginnings. The day may prove to be the ultimate disappointment. On the other hand, it could be the day she found peace and happiness again. This day, like the rest of her life, was whatever she made it. The choice was hers and hers alone. Cassiel could not keep her from doing what she wanted anymore than Nimbus could force her to do something she didn't want to. She was a free agent living out an unwritten history and it was in the brown eyes of a true friend with no ax to grind and no ulterior motives, as well as the breathtaking mural of the dawn that she found something she was in desperate need of: hope.
Note: The story continues in the upcoming sequel: Broken Vow, Book Two in the Fallen Angels Trilogy.
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