“That’s why I had to get away from the store tonight. If my family is able to track that burst of power, I can’t be around you. I can’t endanger you like that.”
“But you don’t think you’re endangering us just by hanging out with us?” Keller asks.
“Keller.” Toni’s voice is sharp with reproach. “She saved my life tonight, you twit.”
He shifts positions. “I know, and I’m thankful. But it sounds like we could be in even bigger danger now.”
“I haven’t sensed anyone nearby,” I say. “I’ll know if they come anywhere near here.”
“What happens if they find you?” Keller asks.
“They’ll kill me.”
The shock on his face is apparent, even in the dim light. “There’s got to be a way to stop them. How can we kill them?”
“What?” I nearly screech, fear lacing my words.
“Don’t worry.” He pauses, stares at me. “You’re safe for now, until you give me a reason to believe you shouldn’t be.”
“Keller,” Toni warns, whether in defense of me or to protect him, I don’t know.
I stare right at him. “Our physiology is human. We are human, just with enhanced power. If the guy at the store had shot me tonight, I would have been as dead or injured as any of you.”
“So we have a bunch of loaded guns ready,” he says.
“It’s not that simple. Yes, a bullet can kill us, but getting the bullet to us in the first place is what’s difficult.”
Keller eyes me with more wariness. “You have shielding powers?”
“Yes, against human weapons. And we have the speed.”
Keller curses, letting fly with a string of words his father would no doubt heartily disapprove of. “What, you’re like one of the X-Men or something?”
“No, I don’t have the tight black leather suit,” I shoot back at him.
“Nice. That sense of humor come with the forces of darkness package?”
Toni surges to her feet and plants herself between us. “Stop it, right now. We’re on the same side here.”
Keller keeps staring at me past his cousin. “Are we?”
“Yes.” I whisper the response, forcing it past the enormous lump in my throat. He’s being an ass, but what can I expect?
“I think you’d better go home now,” he says.
“She’s spending the night here.”
He glances at Toni. “Not a good idea.”
“She’s not going to hurt me.”
“Maybe not directly, but she admitted that being near her could put us in danger. Your mom already lost your dad. She doesn’t deserve to lose you, too.”
“You’re right, and she’s not going to.”
“Toni,” he says.
“Keller, I think you’re the one who needs to go home.”
“He’s right.” I stand. “I should go.”
Toni reaches out and grabs my arm. “No. You’re staying here tonight, and that’s the end of the discussion. Keller, go home and sleep off this pissed-off mood. And don’t say a word to your dad about Jax.”
“I can’t promise that.”
“You will or you’ll never be welcome in this house again. Don’t you get it? If Jax were all Miss Evil, she wouldn’t have saved my life tonight. But she did. You might be able to forget that, but I can’t.”
“Fine. I’ll stay quiet, for now.” He looks past Toni again and meets my gaze. “But know that I’m going to be watching you carefully. And I’m going to be ready if your relatives come to town.”
“If they do, you have to let me deal with them. You’re no match for them.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” His long stride takes him from the gazebo across the yard.
I want to yell at him that I’m just trying to save his ungrateful life, but I don’t have the energy. I can’t remember ever being as tired as I am now.
Despite my warning, he’s no doubt going home to start amassing an arsenal. I have to make sure he never even tries to use it. He would lose, and it’d be my fault.
And I can’t live with that.
Chapter Eight
Who would have thought fighting against tears would be harder than keeping my power in check? But it is. I swallow, determined not to cry no matter how much it hurts to watch Keller walk away, to know that being in his arms tonight might have been the one and only time I’d feel that pleasure.
And knowing, deep down, that it’s probably for the best. At least safer for him.
After Keller disappears around the corner of the house, Toni extends a hand to me. “Come on, let’s go inside. I’m beat.”
I hesitate. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go home?” I should just go without even asking, but at the moment I’m weak. I don’t want to be alone.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s a guy, and guys are routinely stupid.”
“He’s not, at least not about this. It is dangerous to be around me.”
Toni turns to face me and places her hands on her hips. “You said you’d sense your family if they showed up in the area, right?”
“Yes.”
“Do you sense them now?”
“No.”
“Then until you do, stop worrying. It’s not like you’re a vampire and you’re going to suck my blood in the middle of the night.”
Moments before, I’d felt like I might never smile again, but I manage a small one at my friend’s comment. That’s still so amazing to me, to call someone a friend, a real one. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Standing up for me.”
“Honey, I have a feeling you can stand up for yourself fine without my help. I’m just thankful Keller’s attitude didn’t get him toasted like that video surveillance camera.”
“You saw that?”
“I was as bug-eyed as a frog, seeing everything like it was in slow motion in a movie. Not every day some kook points a gun at me. I’m really glad you’ve got that Supergirl speed.”
“Me, too.” I realize it’s the first time in a very long time that I’m actually thankful for my powers. For so long, I’ve considered them a burden, things to be fought, oddities that link me to the kind of life I don’t want. If I could only use them for good purposes, they’d be great to have. But I can’t use them, no more than absolutely necessary. And not only because I don’t want my family to find me. Part of me is afraid that I’ll succumb to the inherent darkness if I tempt it too much.
Toni nods toward the house, and this time I stand and follow her. When we reach Toni’s room, she steps into her closet and comes back with a set of pink silk pajamas. “They’re part of Mom’s ‘Let’s make Toni more feminine’ collection.”
I hold them up. “At least they match your hair.”
“Ha ha.”
“Why does your mom think you’re not feminine? I mean, you didn’t exactly buzz your head or start wearing all black.”
Toni flops down on her window seat. “Let’s see. Mom thinks the pink streaks should go. I should wear frilly little blouses instead of T-shirts and throw out all footwear that resembles a boot or Doc Marten. Oh, and I should try harder to get a boy interested in me. She’d also go into paroxysms of joy if I’d allow her to call me Antonia. She loathes calling me Toni. It’s the one thing she can’t forgive my father for starting.”
I sit on the end of the bed, the pajamas in my lap. “Maybe she’s lonely and doesn’t want you to be.”
“I’m not. I like my life.”
I look up at her, feeling a swell of love for this girl who has become my dearest friend in such a short time. “Is that true?”
Toni looks away, sighs. “You can’t read minds, can you?”
“No, just control them,” I say in an even, matter-of-fact tone.
“Oh, yeah, that’s comforting.”
“Toni?”
“Okay, okay. Would I like to have a date? Sure. Have I met anyone I want to go out with? No. I have lots of guy friends, but I don’
t click romantically with any of them. In case you haven’t noticed, you got the pick of the Baker Gap litter.”
I looked down. “I don’t think I have anyone.”
“Keller’s processing. He’ll come around. He’s different with you than other girls. And don’t think I didn’t see all that kissing going on. I can drum and peruse the crowd at the same time.”
My cheeks heat, and I smile at the memory. Tears well in my eyes, but I bat them back. “He didn’t know what I am then.”
“Hey, you’re not a what. You’re a who, just like the rest of us.”
“A who with the power of destruction. Wow, I’m such a catch.”
Toni leans forward. “I know you care about Keller, and he cares about you. There’s something about you two, like you’re freakin’ destined or something.”
“Star-crossed lovers?”
“Yeah. You’re Baker Gap’s answer to Buffy and Angel.”
“And that went all kinds of smooth.” My words falter, catching on the edge of a sob.
“Hey,” Toni says as she moves to sit beside me. She puts her arm around my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
I wipe at the stupid tear that makes good its escape from my eye. “All I wanted was to be a regular girl, to live a regular life. And I was naïve enough to think maybe I’d succeeded, that maybe all the ugliness of who I am would simply go away.”
“It’ll work out, really.”
“Then why does it feel like my heart is being fed through a shredder?” More tears flow, and this time I’m not able to stop them.
“Aw, sweetie,” Toni says as she pulls my head down to her shoulder. “You’re already really falling for him, aren’t you?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. How do I know it’s real? I’ve never cared about someone romantically before, never . . . loved anyone other than my mother.”
“I think the paper shredder feeling might be your answer.”
I look down at my hands, feel the power residing inside my fingertips. “It can’t be love. I still have my power.”
“You can’t have both?”
“No. If a witch falls in love with a non-witch, she loses her power.”
Toni doesn’t immediately respond. Her forehead scrunches like she’s thinking hard. “Have you known anyone this ever happened to?”
“No.”
“Maybe it’s just a legend then. Or maybe since you’re not a normal witch, all spooky and evil, it doesn’t apply to you.”
Should I dare hope? “It’s too big a risk. I can’t let things with Keller go any farther, even if he wants them to.”
“You said your family would only find you if they detected your magic signature, right?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Well, what if you did lose your powers? Wouldn’t that erase your ability to leave a signature? You’d be safe.”
“But what if I lost them and my family found me anyway? I’d have no way to defend myself, to protect you and Keller.” God, this isn’t going to ever get easier, is it?
“We’ll deal with that when and if it happens.”
I pull myself upright and wipe away my tears. “I shouldn’t be doing this. You’re the one who had the traumatic night.”
“I think there was enough trauma to go around.”
I gesture to my face. “I’m sorry about this.”
Toni takes my hand and squeezes. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Keller needs time, that’s all. It’s a bit of a shock for him to fall for a girl who can kick his ass.”
“You mean someone supernatural, a thing he normally hunts.”
Toni lets out a long breath. “Yes. But you’re not some evil spirit bent on revenge or wreaking havoc for fun. You’re flesh and blood, beautiful, a good person.”
“You don’t know that. You barely know me.”
“I do know it,” Toni says with a conviction that touches me deep in my heart.
“Stop or I’m going to start crying again.”
“Hey, the truth’s the truth.”
I walk over to the window, stare out into the night. “How long has Keller hunted?”
“Since he was about ten.”
“So young.”
“It wasn’t long after my dad died. Uncle Jacob wanted Keller to be prepared, to be able to protect himself. And, well, the hunting and ridding the world of evil spirits became a bit of an obsession with Uncle Jacob. He felt responsible for Dad’s death, so he hunted every night. He took Keller once he felt he was ready. For the past year, Keller’s been going out on his own so they can cover more ground.”
“There are that many evil spirits floating around?”
“You’d be surprised. It’s something about the Appalachians. They’re dark, mysterious, old. Otherworldly energy seems to seep out of the hills.”
“And it doesn’t scare you?”
“Creeps me out from time to time, but I’ve never faced any of it myself. Mom would have a conniption.”
“Your dad hunted, too?”
“Yeah, he and Uncle Jacob were brothers. Their dad was a minister too, and they learned hunting from him. Uncle Jacob has all Grandpa’s old books on the supernatural, dusty old things that make me sneeze.” Toni stands and walks over to the window too, props her shoulder against the wall at the edge of the window seat.
“Dad and Uncle Jacob were in an old mansion over in Avery County where a poltergeist had taken up residence, a really nasty one. A couple had bought the place planning to turn it into a B&B, but accidents kept happening. When the man ‘fell’ down the stairs and broke his leg, they finally gave up and put the house on the market.
“Dad and Uncle Jacob snuck in one night, wanting to rid the place of the poltergeist before someone else got hurt. Evidently it knew what they were.” Toni stops, stares out the window as if she can actually see the past out there in the night. “It threw Dad off the third floor landing.”
“Oh, Toni, I’m so sorry.”
“Poor Uncle Jacob was devastated, but he still had to pick up Dad and get him out of the house. He carried him to a spot in the woods where there was a deer stand and placed Dad on the ground below it so he could tell the authorities Dad had fallen out.”
“A hunting accident.”
Toni nods. “We never have to lie when we say those three words.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Toni shrugs. “Life’s not fair.” She shifts her gaze from the dark of the night to my face. “What about your mom? How’d she die?”
The pain slices through me anew. It doesn’t matter how many years separate me from my mother’s death. The wound never totally heals. I wonder if it would have if Mom hadn’t died in the way she had.
I hold up the pajamas. “I’m really tired. I’m going to change.” Without waiting for a response or further questions, I flee to the bathroom. After changing and washing the tear tracks and makeup from my face, I brace my palms against the sink and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
Am I really a good person? Can I make a life free of magic and the inner darkness that pumps through my veins? Will my family let me? And will I ever be happy if Keller isn’t in that life?
I’ll have to be.
By the time I leave the bathroom, Toni has crawled into bed and fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, I grab a blanket from a chair and go to the window seat. I curl up and scan the stars blanketing the sky. That’s one of the first things I loved about Baker Gap, that I can look up at night and see so many stars. Miami’s night sky is too bright to see much beyond the moon and the brightest stars. I wonder how many of them I can see from this one spot alone.
I watch the night sky shift as the hours tick away. Too many thoughts assault my brain for me to sleep. Yearning for Keller and the way things had been when we were dancing, hope that fate will be kind and my family will never find me, thankfulness that I have such a great friend in Toni.
Those horrible memories of my mother’s death.
&n
bsp; “Jax?” Toni sits up in bed and stares my direction. “Have you slept?”
I glance at the clock. 2:34 a.m. “No. Brain won’t shut down. You go back to sleep though.”
Instead, Toni gets up and drags her comforter over to the window seat. It’s big enough for two, so she crawls up opposite me and snuggles under its warmth.
“Wanna talk about it?”
My instinct is to say ‘no’, but there’s something about Toni that makes her easy to talk to. And I’ve never shared this story with anyone.
“There’s just lots of stuff zipping around in my head.”
“Part of that about your mom?”
I catch her questioning gaze in the faint ambient light coming through the window. “Yeah.”
“I’m not pushing, but it might help to talk about it.”
I stare hard out the window, up at the brightest star in the sky. It reminds me of Mom.
“She was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Long blond hair to her hips. I swear it had some sort of internal light. Her eyes were so blue, like a bluebird’s feathers. And she had such a kind heart, which of course was her biggest sin. Only the fact she was a successful artist and bringing in good money kept her from real punishment. She wanted to leave the coven, but they wouldn’t let her. When she tried to escape with me and my sister, they caught us before we got out of Miami.”
“And . . . they killed her for that?”
I nod. “There’s a round room in our house, on the top floor. The entire family sat around the Siphoning Circle. Marissa, my sister, and I were seated in the front. When everyone was in their spots, my father motioned for my mom to be brought out. Her hands were bound behind her back, and she was gagged so she couldn’t say anything. She was placed in the middle of the circle on her knees. They didn’t give her an opportunity to say anything, to defend herself. First, they extracted her powers, which causes excruciating pain. Despite the fact she was gagged, I can still hear her screams. I dream about them and wake up with sweat so cold covering me that I feel like I’m there all over again.”
Toni reaches forward, touches my arm. “God, Jax, I’m so sorry.”
White Witch Page 8
