by Maya Blake
* * *
‘Wake up, cherie, we’re here,’ a deep voice murmured in her ear.
Ana prised herself away from where she’d fallen asleep on Bastien’s shoulder on the way from the airport.
She straightened and glanced out of her window at a grey and gloomy London. After surrendering her heart to the Château D’Or, the two-bedroom maisonette she shared with Simone in South London looked dismal and almost alien. It would never be home to her again.
The driver pulled up on the kerb. Bastien started to open the door. She stayed him with a hand on his arm.
‘Do you mind if I do this on my own?’
His eyes held an admiration she allowed herself to bask in for a moment.
‘Bien. I’ll go and make myself useful in the office for a while. Call me when you’re done.’
She nodded. ‘I may be a while. Lily’s coming over in an hour, then I need to pack warmer clothes.’
He smiled and reached out to caress her nape. ‘Keep those risqué jeans, cherie. I’ve grown quite fond of them.’
She laughed. ‘I’ll consider it,’ she replied, then leaned in to him for a deep kiss.
That niggling voice rose again, cautioning her against falling harder without hope of having her feelings returned. Feebly, she pushed it away.
When he pulled back his eyes were dark and his expression intense. ‘You have three hours, then I’m coming for you.’ He thrust the door open and helped her out.
Stepping into the frigid air, she pulled her coat around her and held her smile till Bastien’s limo was out of view. Dragging her suitcase behind her, she unlocked the front door, dread eating away at her stomach as she entered the flat.
Simone sat cross-legged on the sofa, with Ana’s laptop—which she’d bought solely for working on her lessons—balanced on her legs. She was so engrossed in whatever she was doing that it took her a moment to notice Ana in the doorway.
Shock rounded her eyes. ‘Ana—I had no idea you were coming back today!’
Ana propped her case by the door and dropped her handbag on the coffee table in the small living room. ‘How do you know the password to my laptop?’ she asked, her throat drying. The combination was the date she’d met Bastien, known only to her.
Simone shrugged. ‘You must have told me when I borrowed it before.’
Heart hammering, she stepped closer and noticed Simone’s overbright eyes and agitated breathing. ‘No, I didn’t. I’m sure of it.’
Her roommate laughed but the sound was skewed. ‘What are you saying? That I’m a liar?’
Ana clenched her fists and breathed deep. ‘I know, Simone.’
Simone’s eyes narrowed. ‘Know what?’ she demanded, shoving the laptop aside to stand up.
‘The drugs. I know it was you.’
Several expressions chased over Simone’s face before it settled into pure malice. ‘You can’t prove it.’
Ana sighed. ‘Yes, I can. You made sure you were out of sight of the nightclub’s cameras when you put the drugs in my bag but you forgot that it was your birthday—everyone wanted a picture of you, whether you were aware of it or not.’
A flash of fear widened the other woman’s eyes but the malice remained. ‘You’re lying! I was careful...’
‘Not careful enough. What I want to know is why?’
Simone rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, get off your high horse! Everyone does drugs—but you’re too good for the rest of us. You won’t even take painkillers when you have a headache. Truthfully, I didn’t want to do it. Top-class drugs like that are expensive. But I was warned there might be a raid and—’ She froze. ‘Are you recording this?’
‘Excuse me?’
Simone bared her teeth and snapped her fingers. ‘Oh, yes—you wouldn’t know how, would you? Because you can’t read.’
Ice dredged Ana’s insides and her gaze went to the laptop. Sure enough, the file holding her lessons was open, along with the phonetic program that went with it.
Anger overcoming the icy dread, she rushed to the sofa and snatched up the laptop. ‘How dare you—?’
‘Don’t bother denying it, Ana.’
Ana stared at her. ‘Were you going to let me go to jail for something you did?’
Simone shrugged. ‘Why not? Everything comes so easy to you—the contracts, the private jets, the billionaire boyfriend. Does he know, by the way?’
That disturbing thread of doubt reared its head again. ‘Yes, he knows. He’s okay with it.’
Surprise mingled with fear on Simone’s face but she quickly regrouped. ‘Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I’m not owning up to the drugs thing. I’ll tell everyone you were in on it. It’ll be your word against mine. You think his company will survive another scandal? Especially if you remain his girlfriend?’
‘Forget it, Simone. I’m not going to jail for you,’ Ana said, despite her heart thundering with a different kind of fear as Simone backed towards the door.
Her roommate ran out of the room. A few minutes later Ana heard the front door slam. She wasn’t worried about Simone getting away. Bastien had told her that the police had been alerted and his own investigators were tracking her.
Bastien...
The knock on the door made her jump.
Her stomach twisted at the thought that it might be Bastien even as her heart thrilled at seeing him again. Swallowing, she opened the door.
Her mother was dressed from top to toe in white vintage Chanel, her face perfectly made-up and her hair twisted in an impeccable bun.
Mingled desolation and pain scythed through Ana. Stepping forward, she let her mother in. ‘Hello, Lily.’
Everything she’d thought she’d heard in her mother’s voice recently was reflected in Lily’s face, albeit warily.
‘You look distressed. What’s wrong? Is it...? Do you want me to leave?’
Ana shook her head. ‘No, it’s not you. I’ve just found out who planted the drugs.’ She quickly summarised her conversation with Simone, then glanced at her mother as she accepted her halting commiserations. ‘What’s going on, Lily? You seem...different.’
Her mother’s laugh was strained as she followed Ana into the living room. ‘You mean less of the nightmare you grew up with?’
Ana shrugged. ‘Your words, not mine.’
For the first time in her life Lily seemed nervous. ‘I...I started a drug rehabilitation programme last month. One of the steps in the programme is making amends. I wish I could say that I didn’t need a bullet point on a piece of paper to make me realise I’ve been the worst mother in the world to you. I just... Once I started down that destructive path I didn’t know how to make things right.’ She stopped and firmed her trembling mouth.
Ana closed her own gaping mouth and stared at her mother, hope spreading its wings again. ‘I...I don’t know what to say.’
‘Please say you’ll give me a chance? That you won’t write me off completely?’
Ana’s heart squeezed and she blinked back tears. ‘I won’t write you off.’
Her mother’s sigh of relief was audible. ‘I don’t deserve it, but thank you.’ She fidgeted, glanced around, then eyed the suitcase by the door. ‘Are you going away again?’
‘Yes, Bastien will be here in an hour. What?’ Her insides jerked at the wary flicker in Lily’s eyes.
‘I spoke to Philippe two days ago.’
‘Bastien’s father?’
Lily nodded, her blue eyes darkening with pain. ‘Part of the making amends process... Couldn’t be avoided. Ana, he told me about Bastien’s visit.’
‘Yes, Bastien went to see them. I think we’re all ready to put the past behind us—’ She stopped when her mother shook her head.
‘I really hope for all our sakes that’s true, but Philippe is worried abo
ut Bastien. He thinks he’s carrying a lot of hurt from sixteen years ago. I’m sorry, I know you have feelings for him, but I want you to be careful.’
Don’t confuse love with sex or duty...
The voice was a loud clamour in her head and in her heart. And, try as she might, Ana couldn’t stem the growing fear that she was indeed jumping without a parachute.
‘I really hope you find joy and happiness where I sowed only pain, and I don’t want to see you hurt.’
Lily’s eyes bored into hers with a look Ana had thought she’d never see from her mother.
Affection.
Her throat clogged and she stood. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.’
Her mother rose too. ‘That was the other thing I came to tell you. I’ve re-signed with Lauren. Apparently there’s still hope for modelling work for women of a certain age. If you need me to stay on as your manager...’
Ana shook her head. ‘No, I’m giving up modelling. I’m hoping to work with Papá for a while.’
Lily’s eyes clouded over with tears. ‘Your father is next on my list.’
Ana stepped forward and grabbed her mother’s hand, swallowing a sob when hers was caught in a tight hold. ‘I’m proud of you...Mother.’
Lily hugged her tight, then moved back. ‘Call me...when you get to wherever you’re going.’
The moment her mother left Ana sagged numbly onto the sofa, her gaze frozen in the middle distance.
Her mother had inadvertently confirmed her worst fears—that she was looking for love where none existed. Bastien had shown her gentleness and consideration. He’d made love to her as if she was the most precious thing in his life. But the fear that he’d never take the next step and love her was one she could no longer deny.
Her phone buzzed. Willing her heavy limbs to move, she fetched it from her bag.
It’s B. R u OK?
Tears filled her eyes. She was willing to bet Bastien had never sent an abbreviated text in his life. That he was bending to accommodate her touched her heart even as it cracked painfully.
Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she activated her keypad and carefully typed in: Yes. C u in 1 hr
Fingers shaking, she closed the application and turned off her phone. Pain twisted like potent poison inside her. Giving in to the raw anguish, she burst into tears, her soul ripping into a million little pieces.
She wasn’t sure how long she stayed on the sofa. It might have been close to an hour but it felt like an eternity. When she had no more tears left she slowly rose, grabbed her suitcase, went into her room and upended the contents onto her bed. On automatic, she refilled it with sensible, everyday clothes. The rest of her things she’d arrange to be packed and put into storage when she could think straight.
She blanked her mind to the fact that she would never see Bastien again, never feel the intensity of his lovemaking or feel the gentleness afterwards when he cradled her in his arms.
The pain of their violent separation would come later...when she was miles away.
But she’d come too far, been through too much, to settle for a life without love. They’d bared so much to each other in the past few days. Surely if Bastien loved her he’d have told her by now? Recalling his silence when she’d confessed her love, she bit back a dry sob and heaved her case off the bed. She retrieved her bag and laptop from the living room, breathing a sigh of relief that she still had her passport.
Taking one last look at the flat, she headed for the door.
The travel agents were a few minutes’ walk away. Ana entered the building and came out fifteen minutes later, clutching a plane ticket.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BASTIEN’S TEETH GRITTED together as he fought to remain calm—fought against the primal urge to roar against the pain that ripped through him every time he thought of Ana.
He felt weak, debilitated, as if struck down by some alien disease. Even his heart wasn’t sure whether to beat fast or slow, so it alternated between the two, constantly robbing him of breath. He thought of what he’d do when he found her. First he’d kiss her, and then he’d shake her until he got an answer. Then kiss her again—
He heard laughter as he approached the dusty, dilapidated trailer in the middle of the Colombian jungle. Familiar female laughter. His heart thundered and the surge of joy through his veins was so thrilling, the knowledge that he’d found her at last so heady, he smiled before he could stop himself.
Mon Dieu...three long weeks he’d searched for her.
The deep male voice that joined in the laughter stopped Bastien dead in his tracks. There was a man in there...with Ana. His Ana.
He wrenched at the door before his thoughts coalesced. It refused to budge. He smashed his fist against the frame.
The laughter ceased.
‘Open this door, Ana. Now!’
Footsteps drew closer. Before the latch had turned fully he wrenched it open.
She was dressed. That was the first thing Bastien made sure of the moment he saw her. She was dressed—albeit in the tiniest pair of shorts known to man and a halter-necked top so threadbare it was almost see-through.
‘Bastien! What are you doing here?’
Her slack-jawed astonishment drew his gaze to her mouth—a mouth he hadn’t tasted for what seemed like a lifetime. Hunger pounded through him, its fierce bite instant and relentless.
He ignored it, his gaze moving to the man who rose from the chair near the window. A tall, lanky man with long brown hair dressed in a distinctly hippy-type outfit.
‘Who the hell are you?’
His snarl made the other man’s eyes widen. Bastien’s satisfaction wasn’t great, but it was welcome nonetheless. Ana’s horrified gasp barely registered because he was busy devising ways to break the other man’s limbs.
‘Bastien, you have no right to speak to my guest like that.’
He extended a hand. ‘Bastien Heidecker. Apologies for my rudeness. And you are...?’
Before the other man could answer Ana stepped up beside him. ‘Adam is my tutor.’
‘Tutor?’ Belatedly Bastien saw the books spread over a small table by the window.
‘We were just discussing the Tudors and Henry VIII’s fondness for excess,’ Adam offered.
Any emerging regret for his rudeness towards Adam immediately evaporated when Bastien saw the way he smiled at Ana. Every muscle in his body tightened at the adoration in the man’s eyes.
He bared his teeth. ‘If I’m not mistaken, Henry also had an extreme fondness for beheading.’
Taut silence settled in the trailer. Adam cleared his throat. ‘I’ll...er...leave you two alone.’
The door had barely shut before he reached for her. ‘Are you sleeping with him?’
The need to know burned a wide and jagged path through him, although at the back of his mind he asked himself how he’d handle it if she said yes.
‘What? Are you serious—?’
He plunged his mouth down on hers, firstly to shut her up, but mostly because his need had become so gut-wrenching he couldn’t think straight.
Her mouth opened up beneath his. His senses sang as he renewed his acquaintance with the potency of her kiss. He folded her into his arms, his hands rediscovering the exquisite curves he’d dreamed about day and night for endless weeks. Her soft breasts pressed into his chest, their heavy weight and hardened peaks a reminder of all he’d desperately missed.
He’d barely scratched the surface of his hunger before she pushed him away.
‘You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?’
He stepped back and raked a hand through his hair. ‘What the hell do you think? You left me without an explanation after you texted that you’d see me in an hour. An hour, Ana. It’s been three weeks!’
‘I know how long it’s been,’ she muttered.
‘Tell me why? What did I do?’
Ana stared at him, standing so tall, proud and heartbreakingly gorgeous. Weeks of restless nights when her dreams had been so vivid that on waking to find she’d only been dreaming she’d burst into tears more than once didn’t do justice to the reality of him. And, even though his face lacked some of the vitality she loved, he was still the most magnificent man in the world.
A magnificent man who would never return her love.
She turned away.
‘You didn’t do anything, Bastien. It was me.’
Bastien stopped himself from reaching for her again, compelling her to look at him. ‘Whatever it is, tell me. I can take it.’ A blatant lie. He wouldn’t be able to take it if she rejected him.
A delicate frown creased her forehead. He wanted to smooth it away, to touch her once more. Her skin had darkened in the Colombian sun, making her more alluring if that was possible. Her beauty enthralled him, made him want to kneel at her feet in worship. But he needed to keep his wits about him. Needed to stay sane. Because he was fighting for his life. Fighting for the woman he loved above anything else in his life.
Her tongue snuck out to wet her lips. ‘What we had was great but it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry.’
His vision frayed and he gripped the back of the chair. ‘What are you talking about?’
Her finger traced a delicate path on the rickety table. ‘I want more.’
‘I will give you more. Just tell me how.’
She stared at him for a few heartbeats, then her lids descended, her lush lashes shielding her eyes from him. Unable to stand not touching her, Bastien moved and tucked her hair behind one ear. Her breath caught.
‘Bastien, I can’t tell you how to feel. If you don’t already feel it...you’re better off without me—’
‘No, I’m nothing without you! What we had... Ana, it was the closest thing to heaven that I’ve ever known.’ Her eyes widened. Bastien fell deeper, even as his desperation grew. ‘I don’t know why you left but you told me you loved me once. I hope that one day you’ll love me again—the way I love you.’
