“Let’s take a walk on the beach.”
At first Alex, seemed off put, as if he had something bigger—better—in mind to do tonight. But then it seemed to come to him. “I know just the place,” he said as they got in the truck.
He drove to the lot they’d parked at the first time they’d walked there. He remembered. It was the silliest little thing, but it made Valerie so giddy that he’d remember.
As soon as she was out of the truck, she rushed to him and jumped in his arms, kissing his face all over. Alex laughed, holding her easily with just one arm and brushing the hair away from her face with the other.
“You remembered,” she said, pulling away to look at his eyes.
“Of course,” he said, leaning in to kiss her again so softly and sweetly it actually choked her up. “How could I forget?” he whispered against her lips. “Kissing you has always done the craziest things to me. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “But that first day. It was like I was already thinking it that whole time, from the moment I met you. I was dying to kiss you. Then when I finally did, it only confirmed it. I knew there was something amazingly exceptional about you. About the way you made me feel. I thought maybe after some time it’d go away, fade a little. But it never has.”
Valerie took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she stared deeply into those intense eyes of his. It felt so perfect being there with him it almost scared her. All those years she’d held back from allowing herself to expect more from him out fear of getting hurt, and now there was no way she could.
Her father had told her on more than one occasion how her mother had been the love of his life. He’d known it from the moment he first met her, and Alex was undoubtedly hers. She just wasn’t brave enough to tell him that just yet. It was too soon to ruin this amazing change. But there was something she could tell him.
“I know exactly what you mean,” she said, holding his face in both of her hands. “I felt it that day too and didn’t understand it either. I thought maybe I was nuts.” She laughed nervously. “Or being overly dramatic—romantic or something.”
“No.” He shook his head immediately. “It’s not nuts.”
“And it’s never gone away for me either,” she said, resting her forehead against his.
She kissed him again, deeper, longer this time. Her heart nearly pounded out of her chest, she was so overwhelmed with joy. She just wished that she could drown out the paralyzing fear. She hated that this felt like such a risk putting her feelings out there for him as she never had before. But at the same time it felt so right. She wanted to just enjoy it without the feelings of doubt.
Stopping to stare him straight in those dark intense eyes, she smiled, taking a deep breath. To hell with the fear. For once she was just going to allow herself to be happy—to expect more from Alex Moreno. He’d promised, right? “Let’s go find that wall,” she said, smiling big and biting her lower lip.
“I was thinking the exact same thing.”
Valerie laughed. “I thought I’d have to explain. You know which wall I mean?”
“Hell yeah,” he said, letting her down, and tugged her hand. “I didn’t want to admit it back then even to myself. But I think that day when I kissed you for the first time on that wall, I knew right then I was nuts about you.”
Her heart had been doing so much swelling over in the past twenty-four hours she wondered how much more it could take. But without another doubt, without any more fear, she leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around her and decided once and for all she was putting her heart out there, regardless of the risk. She looked up at him and smiled, big and unabashed. “Sal’s right.”
“About what?” he asked, surprising her that he didn’t immediately get it.
“We are so much alike,” she said, tilting her head. “I think I knew I was nuts about you that day too.”
“Kind of scary,” he said, pulling her closer as they continued walking.
Yeah, very scary. She wouldn’t ruin the moment—the day—this magical evening by saying it out loud. The two of them being so much alike could be a good thing. But it could also be a bad thing. They were both equally obstinate. Just as she’d made up her mind about really making an effort to make this work with as minimal drama as possible, she’d also made another decision. The last indiscretion she’d forgiven him for was just that.
The very last.
If he ever did anything to hurt her again, she’d be putting her heart out of its misery and ending things for good. There’d be no more forgiving. Her heart ached just thinking about it. She could only pray now that she hadn’t taken one chance too many with Alex. In the past, the things he did drove her crazy—made her livid—but things were different now. After just one full day of this change, anything from here on would feel like an ultimate betrayal.
Chapter 8
Alex
“It just feels weird,” Valerie said, crinkling her nose.
“Role playing?” Alex asked, taking a swig of his coffee, then smirked as he put the cup down. “Why? We’ve done it in bed before.”
Valerie gasped, swatting his arm across the table and looking around. “Shh!” She giggled as one of the busboys passed their table.
“What?” Alex laughed.
It wasn’t often he embarrassed Valerie, so it was highly entertaining when he did.
She pressed her lips together and raised one eyebrow. “Someone might hear you, Alex.”
“It’s just your sales pitch,” he said, wide-eyed, feigning ignorance about what she was really referring to.
Giving him that look again, she gave up on trying to scold him. “Yes, but with you it’s different. I know I’ll laugh.”
“No, you won’t,” he said, making the most serious face he could. “I’ll be a grumpy client. Try me.”
She was already laughing, and that only made him laugh as his phone vibrated on the table. Valerie’s smiling mood waned a bit, watching him send the call to voice mail—again. He should’ve just left the fucking thing in the back office until she left. It’d been less than a week since his big promise to change, so her rule about not taking calls that might “kill the mood” in front of her still stood. But this alone was beginning to feel as if it just might kill the mood because she hadn’t asked about the first call he sent and now she was picking at her food with that telling little lift of her brow.
“That was Romero,” he said, feeling like an asshole for lying, but he had to.
There was no way he was taking that call in front of her, but he didn’t want her freaking out on him either if he didn’t say something. She finished downing what was left of her orange juice without saying a word then smiled. It was one of her less convincing smiles, but at least the suspicion in her eyes was gone now.
“You know him,” he added as she stood and he stood with her. “Once he gets started, he doesn’t stop. I figured, since you’re almost out of here anyway, I’ll call him back once you’re gone.”
“Yeah, I better go,” she said without further mention of the call. “I have that client I have to meet in less than twenty minutes.”
“We didn’t get to role play,” he said, pulling her to him.
“We will tonight.” She smiled up at him playfully.
He kissed her then glanced down at her plate. She’d left more than half. That was so not like her. He was used to seeing her plow through at least two servings. “You hardly ate. Are you sure you’re full?”
“Full enough,” she said, reaching for her purse in the booth seat. “I don’t wanna be late. I’ll grab a smoothie on the way.”
After walking her out and waiting for her to drive out of the parking lot, he headed back into the restaurant, making sure Sarah wasn’t there yet, then returned that call.
“Gwyneth,” he said when she answered. “I’m sorry. I was in the middle of something when you called.”
“No worries. I got your text, and I had a few minutes before my class starts, so I thought I’d le
t you know I’m free later today if you wanna get together then.”
He exhaled, relieved to hear it. “Yeah, that sounds good. But I’m having some work done at my place so—”
“You can come by my dorm if you want,” she said, sounding as eager as ever. “My roommate is out of town for a few days. We’ll have the place to ourselves.”
“Sounds good,” he said with a smile even as he felt his insides turn.
“But I won’t be there until after five,” she said. “Does that work for you?”
Squeezing his eyes shut, he took a deep breath. “Yeah, five is good. I’ll see you then.”
Hours later he was still having the same internal debate with himself. Technically, he was being dishonest, and, yes, spending time alone with Gwyneth in her dorm would be hard to explain, but it was explainable if push came to shove. Valerie always saw through his lies, so, earlier, when she’d called he’d cowardly texted her back instead. Since Sarah was working the early shift today, he was fairly certain he could get away with saying he’d been asked to work late again. He only prayed it didn’t somehow get back to her that he wasn’t.
Alex did add one thing that was absolutely sincere in his final text to her before telling her he’d see her later tonight at his place.
I already miss you like crazy.
Her only response to that was a few hearts. He’d hoped somehow adding that last part would make him feel better about not being entirely honest.
It didn’t.
~~~
Gwyneth insisted on escorting Alex out from her dorm to the parking area. She said she needed the air, but Alex knew she was just buying more time with him. Yet another thing that had him feeling like a crumb.
He’d already made it clear about Valerie being his girl a few times, but he didn’t want to lay it on too thick. Gwyneth was sweet, and he knew she wasn’t spiteful as some girls could be. But he still feared if he laid it on too heavily about having a girl it could cost him time with Gwyneth in the future. He didn’t want to risk it. So the times he mentioned it were minimal.
Strolling outside through the gardens around her dorm made him nervous as hell, and he made a mental note that from now on he’d only meet with Gwyneth at his place. That’d be tough with Valerie practically living at his place now, but it was less of a risk than being seen by one of Valerie’s friends, who he knew still stayed at these dorms. He felt stupid for not thinking this through earlier.
Luckily for him on his way home for once he had thought ahead. The nerve-wracking walk through the dorms had done it, and by the time he was home, he was a sweaty mess. Even if he did tell Valerie the truth, she might still be livid. He’d been alone with Gwyneth in her dorm room for hours. What the hell was he thinking?
The moment he set foot in his place he knew he was in for it. It wasn’t just that Valerie was packing up her laptop from his kitchen table; it was how she was doing it. She didn’t even look up when he entered, and she was throwing things in her bag in a mad dash.
“Something wrong?” he asked cautiously as he placed his keys on his kitchen counter. When she didn’t answer, he knew there was something wrong. “Valerie, babe—”
“Don’t you babe me!”
Immediately his hands were up, and he mentally went over what he was so glad now he’d rehearsed on the way home. “I got a call from the coach,” he said quickly, hoping to God he could get a hold of Angel before Valerie confirmed the next part with Sarah. “They needed me to go in for a last-minute clearance with the team medic, so Angel agreed to hang around the restaurant for me. But that’s it. I didn’t call you or tell you about it because I wanted to surprise you by getting home earlier than you expected—”
“Chels?” she asked through her teeth. “Is that who Monica said she saw you with not ten minutes ago? Is she the medic you who needed to clear you, Alex?”
Alex took a deep breath, knowing he’d have to put on an award-winning performance here. Either that or come clean, and he was not willing to do that, not yet anyway. Valerie had been a licensed realtor for less than a full week, and already she was talking about closing her first deal. She’d ordered study material and booked a conference on passing her broker’s test two years from now, damn it. Sal had been right about yet another thing. Valerie was no doubt going to be insanely successful. While he was proud of her work ethic and happy for her doing so well so fast, he refused to let her in on what a pathetic ass she was dating.
He pretended to be momentarily confused about what she was talking about. Then opened his eyes wide. “Gwyneth?” he asked, and her glare went more severe.
“Gwyneth?” Her eyes opened wider, but she looked even more disgusted. “This must be a new one.”
“No,” he said, taking a few steps closer to her, but she held her laptop case in front of her defensively. “No, no, babe. That’s just someone I ran into on my way back to the car. Come on, Valerie,” he said in a tone that made him feel like the devil himself. “You said things had changed. You wouldn’t just turn on me like this. She’s the only one I can think Monica might have seen me with, but we walked together for a little bit and that was it. I told her about you. I said I’d be telling everyone one by one, and she’s not even someone I’ve ever dated, but I’m making sure everyone knows.”
Valerie stared at him, still looking unsure, so he took another cautious step forward, relieved when she didn’t flinch. She took a deep breath. “I texted you,” she said.
Alex reached for his phone holster slowly, not taking his eyes off her. “When?”
“Don’t read it,” she said quickly.
He lifted a brow as he began to lift the phone out of the holster, glad that he seemed to have talked her down.
“Don’t, Alex, please,” she said, her face full of remorse suddenly. “I’m sorry.”
Under normal circumstances he might’ve been tempted to check her text anyway. Maybe even been a little annoyed by her reaction. But she was just being the Valerie he’d turned her into, and he felt like a total dick for that. She’d picked up on his unease since they’d had breakfast at the restaurant, and she’d been right to question it even though she hadn’t done so verbally that morning. She’d probably thought about it all day and then got the call from Monica. Of course she’d been livid. Of course she’d assumed the worst.
So instead of looking at his phone, he slipped it back into the holster and opened his arms. “Don’t be sorry, Valerie. It’s what you’ve come to expect from me, and that’s my own damn fault. This change won’t be easy, but I’ll convince you yet that I’m truly serious about this.”
This was no longer an act. He meant every word of what he’d just said from the bottom of his heart. He sincerely hated what he was doing to her even if he wasn’t. Yet, as usual, his pride was bigger than the fear of losing her, and the inner debate continued. He wasn’t doing anything to her. He’d never hurt her. Not intentionally. Not the way he knew she was expecting. Not anymore.
Bringing his arms around her, he kissed the side of her head. “Let’s forget about it. I should’ve just called or texted you and given you a heads up. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head instantly, looking up at him. “Alex, no—”
“Yes, I am,” he said firmly. “I deserve this kind of reaction.” He kissed her, hoping they could move on and just drop the subject. Having her in his arms—devouring her mouth—was already doing things to him. “I missed you so much today,” he said, lifting her into his arms.
Instantly, she wrapped herself around him, and she kissed him back just as passionately. He rushed to the bedroom, never once taking his lips off her. He wanted to make love to her. Make her scream in ecstasy. It wouldn’t make up for what he’d done, what he still had to continue doing, but he could at least make her forget even if it was just temporarily. He needed something to alleviate the guilt brought on by his unyielding pride.
When he put her down on the bed, she was instantly on her knees, pulling the zipper o
f his pants down. “I don’t care what you say,” she said as she wrapped her hand around his erection. “I’m sorry,” she said as she lowered her face and kissed the tip then licked it. She peered up at him, the remorse in eyes replaced with playful humor. “I shouldn’t have been so quick to react. Let me make it up to you.”
As much as he wanted to protest—tell her he was the one who should be going above and beyond tonight to make it up to her—it was impossible to do so, not with her lips wrapped around him and her tongue doing things that had his legs going weak already.
He groaned, running his fingers through her hair. He didn’t deserve her. She didn’t deserve his stupid ass. But, Jesus, there was no way he could stop her now. Over the years, Valerie had pretty much perfected her technique, and within minutes, he was ready to burst.
It was as incredible as it always had been, and afterwards, when he lay next to her in bed trying to catch his breath, the guilt seeped in again. He lifted himself to his elbow and turned to her, caressing her face. “Baby, I totally get why you’d react to the way you did tonight.”
She started to shake her head, but he placed his finger on her lips before she could say anything.
“I do, okay? And it is my fault. I can’t expect you to give me the benefit of the doubt so easily. So fast. Not after everything we’ve been through.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. “After everything I’ve put you through, please don’t blame yourself for reacting the way you should. Until I prove myself, it’s what I deserve.”
She tried to disagree, but he refused to let her. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—hear her say she was sorry even one more time. He’d sooner come clean than allow that, so he kissed her again until they were moaning and ready for his turn to make it up to her.
Later, when she lay there asleep, looking very content, he reached for his phone on the nightstand. Almost afraid to read it, he clicked on the text she’d sent him just before he got home anyway.
When You Were Mine Page 10
