She snapped herself back to Earth and pulled away. “Yeah, well, that’s what friends are for, eh?” she said as jovially as she could.
“Aye, Lil. And you’re the best.”
“And don’t you forget it.” She smiled as sadness tugged at her heart.
♥♥♥
After they had sat and eaten a cooked breakfast together courtesy of Adam using whatever he could find in Lily’s fridge, the friends stood at the sink washing up.
He flicked soapsuds at her. “You should join the twenty first century and buy a bloody dishwasher you know.”
“There’s only one of me and I don’t produce enough washing up to warrant adding to the hole in the ozone layer, actually.”
He stood silently for a while. “Lil?”
“Yes?”
“Can we go through some of the profiles together? Will you help me?”
“What…now?”
“Why not?”
She swallowed hard. “Well, because it’s Sunday, and I’ve got many things to be doing with my time today.”
He scrunched his face. “Like what?”
She shrugged. “Stuff…things…you know.” She tried her best to sound convincing.
“Come on, Lil. Please?” He fluttered his long dark lashes at her.
“Fuck off, Adders, you can’t get around me like that.” Who was she trying to kid?
“Please, Lilington McPretty Pants. I’ll be your very bestest friend in the world. Please?”
She pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. “Oh for goodness sake, Adders, you really are a big girl…and a pain in the arse.”
“Seriously though, who knows me better than you?”
She shook her head. “Oooh, I don’t know…your mum?”
“Oh no, she doesn’t. You know me best of all. And do you honestly think I would ask twin-set and pearls for relationship advice? The most significant relationship she’s had outside of Dad is with her tomato plants.”
Lily sniggered. “Well they say that they grow better if you talk to them.” She pulled her lips in, trying to stifle a full-blown laugh.
“Exactly…so please will you help me? Just to go through them?”
She rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time. “Oh, go get my bloody laptop will you?”
♥♥♥
Adam logged into his profile and nervously clicked on his matches. He tapped his fingers as he waited for the list to load up. Thirty-five matches.
Lily’s eyes widened. “Fuck! Adders! Aren’t you mister popular?”
He grinned at her with pink cheeks. “I know. I couldn’t believe it.”
“Okay, let’s go through them, one by one.”
“Okay…here goes…” He clicked on the first profile. She read aloud from the description. “Thirty-four-year old busty, brunette. Loves cats—”
“Nope…next.”
“But, Adam—”
“I’m allergic, next.” He slurped at the mug of coffee he was holding.
She scrunched her face. She had totally forgotten about the time they had visited her aunt in Coldstream who had four cats. By the end of the visit, Adam was covered in purple blotches and was wheezing like a heavy smoker. It was not pretty. “Oh shit, yeah, of course.”
He clicked the next one. “How about this one…Dark-haired, sexy, adventurous woman, willing to try new things—”
She gasped. “Ooh God, no.”
He looked confused. “What? Why?” He took another slurp.
“Means she’s a bit kinky.”
He almost spat coffee all over the keyboard. “What? It could mean she’d be willing to try white water rafting, or windsurfing…or something.”
“Yeah, white water rafting or wind surfing with a strap-on attached, probably.”
“Eh? Strap-on?”
She shook her head. “A strap on? A fake penis, Adam…good grief.”
“Well it didn’t look to me like there was any mention of strap on penises…penae…penisae… What is the plural for penis anyway?” Adam gazed up at the ceiling with his brow furrowed. “As an English teacher, you’d think I would know that.”
“Adam, concentrate.”
“Sorry, Lil…okay, next.”
“Right…ooh this one sounds okay…curvaceous, strawberry blonde, with a passion for skin art…and metal work…ooh you like curves, Adders.”
“You kidding? She’s a tattooed, pierced, fat, ginger bird. I don’t think so. Next.”
“There’s nothing wrong with red heads, Adders.”
“Oh fuck, yes… I never thought of that. Maybe she just has a tattooed red head…no hair.” He shivered and made a bluegh noise.
“Well, I think you’re just being too bloody picky now.”
“Says you who discounted the adventurous water skier.”
“Feel free to give her a call, Adders. But don’t come crying to me when she’s tried to tie you to her bed and whip your arse from here to next week.”
He shrugged. “Fair point…okay…next.”
“Okay…Brunette…curves…loves Monty Python…loves Snow Patrol, loves Alanis Morissette… Owns her own business… Ooh this is a good one. I think I’d date her!” She laughed.
He turned to her with raised eyebrows. “Are you really sure you’re not a lesbian?” He teased. She punched his arm…very hard. “Fuck! Ow that hurt!”
“Good. It was meant to. Now what about this woman? She sounds great.”
♥♥♥
After following all the necessary protocol required by the dating site, Adam had the email address of Mallory Westerman. She lived around three hours away in Leeds and sounded rather lovely. With Lily hovering in the background, but banned from reading over his shoulder, and with hope in his heart, he began to type.
Dear Mallory
I viewed your profile on the Made For Each Other website where you and I were seen to be a match. We seem to have quite a lot in common judging by our interests. I’m a huge Monty Python fan and have seen Snow Patrol live in concert several times. I find the music of Alanis Morissette can be very aggressive sometimes but she sure has a talent even if she does scare me a bit.
I live just over the border in Scotland, which I know seems like a long way but I was wondering if maybe you would like to meet in Leeds for coffee some time? I’m happy to come to you one weekend.
I should tell you about myself I suppose. I’m almost thirty-one and I teach English to delightful high school kids. I say delightful because I suppose I have to make myself sound like I like kids! Actually I’m only kidding. I do like kids. I think you have to like kids to be a teacher. That or you have to be a sadist…or a masochist… And I can assure you I’m neither!
I’m widowed. My wonderful wife was killed by an idiot drunk driver just over a year ago and whilst I’m still trying to get over this, I also realise that I’m young and need to get on with my life. I’m worried I’m sounding a little morose so if I am please forgive me. I’m actually quite funny most of the time. Although my best friend, Lily, wouldn’t agree. She thinks my jokes are crap! Am I allowed to say crap in a first email? Oh well, it’s out there now! I don’t swear much normally. Okay that last sentence was a lie, I do swear but only usually when something shocks me! I’m sure I will swear a lot when I read this email back after I have clicked send. But I’m going to just keep typing and try not to think about it too much. Do I use too many exclamation marks? As an English teacher I maybe should address that! << That one was meant as a joke
I sense that, even without reading back, I’m rambling so I’ll close now. It would be lovely to hear from you. I like your photo. You’re very pretty and have stunning eyes. I hope that’s not too creepy or forward.
Bye for now
Adam
He hit send and then debated whether to read back what he had sent. Lily came over and sat on the sofa beside him.
“What did you say then?”
He shook his head and let out a long huff of air that puffed
out his cheeks. “Not a fucking clue. I just typed. Oh shit, Lil.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I think I may have sworn and talked about masochism!”
She gasped. “Oh…Adders.” She slapped her hand on her forehead. “Give it here. Let me read it.” She made a grab for the laptop but he gripped it tighter.
“Fuck off! No way, Lil. I’ve sent it now so it’s too late.” A struggle ensued.
“Adam! It’s my laptop!”
“Yes and I’m still logged in so let me log out and you can have it back!”
She pulled at the laptop again. “Adam! Give…me…it…now!”
He leaned back on the sofa and held the laptop above his head. She scrambled over his body and reached for it.
“Lil…as much as we’re close, will you please get your tits out of my face. I’m a man after all.”
She gasped in horror and fell to the floor. Her cheeks were bright red. “For goodness sake, Adders.” She crossed her arms over her chest while he howled with laughter at her embarrassment.
She pouted and remained crossed-legged under where Adam lay on the sofa. He huffed again. “Oh for fuck’s sake…here…read it… Tell me what an utter-fucking-moron I am…go on!” He thrust the laptop in her face. She grabbed it grinning widely and opened the lid eagerly.
After what felt like an eternity, she closed the laptop lid and turned to him. She was biting her lip. He couldn’t tell whether or not that was a good sign. “Well?”
A wide smile took over her face. “I think you were, completely and utterly, one hundred per cent Adam Langton. If she doesn’t adore you from that, then she’s a lesbian…or head over heels in love with someone else.” She patted his leg and stood.
A sense of relief washed over him and he breathed out of the O formed by his mouth. Thank goodness for that.
He followed Lily into the kitchen. “So what do I do now?”
She shrugged. “You wait. In the meantime, maybe you look at a few more profiles? You know…just in case.”
He pulled his face into a frown. “But…but I only liked the sound of her. I didn’t fancy any of the others.” He sounded like a sulking child.
“Adam, unfortunately it’s out of your hands now…but I’m sure she’ll email back.”
♥♥♥
Adam went home to finish off some marking and get ready for school the next day. Lily’s words had really given him a boost. She really was the best. He wondered what would come of his email. Would she reply? Would it be right away? Who knew? He logged onto his email on the off chance, and his breath caught in his throat. Shit! A reply! Already! Now this can either be a really good thing or a really bad thing…shiiit! Nervously he clicked on read.
Dear Adam
Thank you for your lovely email. It really made me chuckle. I think your friend, Lily, is wrong. You sound like a complete hoot. And we really do have such a lot in common. The thing is, my best friend, Josie, who is a sweet person but doesn’t know when to stop interfering, set me up on the dating site quite a while ago and I never really got anything from it. She did it without my permission, and I was so annoyed when I found out. Anyway, when nothing really came of it I put it to the back of my mind. Getting your email came as quite a surprise. A nice one though!
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. I can’t imagine the pain you must have experienced…still be experiencing, and I really do hope that time heals your wounds. You sound like such a lovely man.
I am sorry to have to tell you this…as you do seem really lovely…but last month I got engaged to my Canadian man. He proposed to me on holiday in Canada while we were visiting his family. I won’t go into lots of detail, as it’s neither fair nor relevant but just really wanted to inform you that I’m no longer looking for the love of my life. I have found him.
All I can say, Adam, is that I met Sam at the strangest time and in the strangest circumstances, and I know that this will happen to you too. Love will find you again when you least expect it. I honestly think you should stop looking and let it happen. You sound like the kind of person who is funny, warm, and kind, with a good heart. And yes I got all of that from one email. So some girl somewhere will get that from one meeting, Adam. I really believe that.
I wish you all the very best but I do feel love will find you. I just hope that it’s soon.
Take care
Mallory
Adam closed the lid on his laptop. Ah…head over heels in love with someone else it is then.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Meet Me In The City (The Black Keys)
September 2010
Adam hadn’t bothered to look through any more of the profiles from the dating site, despite Lily’s insistence that someone out there could be the one. Once again he was plagued with thoughts that he’d had his one shot. Everything had been perfect and wonderful for a while. Eve had been the real love of his life. His other half. She had been the central star in his sky. And now…if there was a heaven…she was up there shining brightly for everyone to see.
August melded into September and work was tiring but still rewarding. Coming home was still the hardest part, especially when his best friend was overseas so much. Lily loved her job passionately. She effervesced whenever she talked about it, and she was really making a name for herself. He thought it felt rather surreal seeing her on TV when she was so far away, off reporting something or other. But he was so proud of her. She had succeeded in her chosen field. He just missed her. Whenever she was away he didn’t really see anyone. He would pop over to his parents’ every so often to be the dutiful son but as for friends…well…they all had their own lives that didn’t usually involve him. Lily was the only one who made the effort.
Her latest trip had taken her to Germany. He had no clue what the piece was that she was working on, but her hours were long and she was travelling around from place to place. They were communicating via email mostly, as he never seemed to catch her when he called and if he did she always had to end the call quickly.
Friday afternoon rolled around once again. The weekend. He sat on his sofa drumming his fingers on his thighs. Boredom had already set in and it was only six o’clock. He had marking that needed to be done but just couldn’t be bothered. Grabbing his laptop he lifted the lid and logged into the dating site. God, this is the epitome of boredom and desperation. He loaded up the profiles and began to flick through.
“Too old…too young…eugh! Too skinny…sounds boring…looks like my mum…good grief is it my mum?” Adam looked closer at the screen. “No…not my mum…phew! That was weird.” He flicked through over a dozen profiles but none seemed to spark his interest.
He made the decision there and then that Internet dating was simply not for him. He grabbed the local paper and thumbed through it, not really taking any notice of anything. Nothing massively newsworthy ever happened where he lived. Although he smiled at the way the local reporters made news out of the smallest things. Stories such as LOCAL ALLOTMENT OWNER, MALCOLM, STRIPPED OF ROSETTE FOR PRIZE TURNIP—allegedly for using some banned fertiliser he’d bought online. And CAT BURGLAR TURNS OUT TO BE A REAL CAT!— a story about an old woman who’d had some steaks pinched from her kitchen only to discover a sneaky stray feline was the culprit.
He turned the page and paused. There was an ad for a singles night at a local pub. Maybe meeting someone face to face would work? There would be less of the blind date about it.
Immediately he logged onto his email and opened a new message to Lily.
Hi Cheesy
So what you been up to? I’m sitting here bored shitless on a Friday night. Couldn’t think of a single thing to do so I decided to check out some more profiles seeing as you keep badgering me. Anyway, I have decided to abandon the Internet dating thing. But I’ve found an ad in the gazette about a singles night and thought that might be a good way to meet someone. You know, face to face. I’d like to know your opinion. It’s tomorrow night at the Stewart Hotel. Get me being all brave and suggesting this! I
hope you are suitably impressed.
Write me back asap so I know whether it’s worth it.
Adders x
Around an hour later he got his reply.
Adders…I think you will find that my name is Lily and I refuse to respond to Cheesy.
He hit reply.
Hi Lil
Sincerely sorry…so what did you think?
Adders x
P.S. You know you love me really.
He got an immediate response.
Hi again
Love you? Hmmm, debatable. Anyway…yes it sounds like a good plan if you ask me…which you did! And as they say, Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Anyway got to dash as I am very busy and you seem to keep forgetting how extremely important I am, so stop bothering me.
Bye Pee Pants
Lily xx
Adam sniggered at her reply and the sly dig it contained. So she thought it was a good idea, eh? Right. That’s settled then. I’ll be a big boy and will venture out alone tomorrow to see if the future love of my life is waiting for me at the Stewart Hotel. Hmmm. We’ll see, I guess.
With his resolve set he grabbed his jacket deciding to call to the local shop and buy beer and chocolate to give him a boost. He would have a Monty Python marathon…again. Yay…I know how to live, me.
He sighed as he walked back with his little stripy carrier bag. It was a fairly warm September Friday evening and the smell of barbeque was in the air. He and Eve used to have some fab barbecues. Inhaling deeply he smiled as the smell brought memories flooding back, making tears sting the backs of his eyes. God I miss you, Evie.
♥♥♥
Saturday evening came around at lightning speed and before he knew it Adam was showering and shaving ready for his date with destiny. Well, ready for his night out at the Stewart Hotel anyway. He buttoned up his favourite pale green shirt and pulled on his dark blue jeans. His palms were sweaty and he was thankful his jeans were dark enough to hide the moisture he wiped down his legs. The pub was only a short walk away, and he decided to go sans jacket, thinking the cool evening air would help his profuse nervous perspiring.
The Girl Before Eve Page 18
