by Kat Mizera
“I don’t know what Erik pays you all,” I said slowly. “Is it a lot? I don’t mean to pry, just…curious.”
“It’s a lot.” He smiled, showing perfectly white, straight teeth. “Five times what I made in the military, two or three times what I was making working for Joe.”
“I don’t make money,” I admitted. “I just have it. Is that weird? It’s weird, right?”
He shook his head. “It’s not weird, Princess, just different. You were born to that. Most of us aren’t. That doesn’t make it right or wrong. It’s more about how you live your life, what you do with it. I bet you pay Samaria and Fetu a lot more than they spend on you.”
I smiled, even though I was slightly behind him now so he couldn’t see it. “A hell of a lot more.”
“Because you care about them.”
“Yes.”
“That makes it right. That makes it not weird. The fact that you care about people and share. The fact that they care for you enough in return to name one of their children after you.”
“I guess that makes sense.” We stopped in front of the guest house. “I’m going to shower. Meet you at the house for dinner?”
“Absolutely.” He smiled.
“Shall I pick you up or is it your turn to pick me up?”
This time he laughed. “Your choice, Princess.”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“See you at six.”
He waited until I was inside and then continued around the way toward his bungalow.
I walked over to pick him up a few minutes before six. His windows were open and I heard him talking to someone on the phone. I paused, unsure whether to knock anyway, or wait until he hung up since he knew I was coming.
“What do you mean there might be a baby?! Are you kidding me right now?” He was obviously listening to someone on the other side. “…What kind of bullshit is this? We talked about this! And either there is or there isn’t. Did you do a test? …How many? …For how long? Fuck! Look, I have to go, but I’m going to call you tomorrow and we’re going to have a long talk about this… Yeah, I know you’re sorry, but that doesn’t fix anything, does it? I have to go.”
I hurried away from the door, back to my guest house, and paused in front of the door, breathing hard, as if I’d done something wrong. I hadn’t meant to listen in. Geez. He’d specifically said he didn’t have time to date, so the fact that he might have gotten some random woman pregnant made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know why—it had nothing to do with me—but for some inexplicable reason, I was…jealous? How the fuck was that possible? I didn’t even like the guy. Shit.
I took a deep breath and walked back to his bungalow with a fake smile pasted on my face.
“Hey.” He was just coming out the door.
“Sorry I’m late, I forgot to put some aloe on. I got too much sun again.”
“Bad for your skin, but good for your heart,” he said.
There was a tightness around his eyes I didn’t usually see in him and I squinted slightly. “You okay? You look stressed. Did my brother call?”
He shook his head. “No, nothing like that. Some personal shit going on. It’ll be fine. Let’s go eat.”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that he didn’t open up to me, but it hurt a little.
I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me when it came to Xander. Most of the time I wanted to string him up by his balls, but one fun afternoon of surfing and now I wanted to know all his deep, dark secrets. And honestly, I didn’t want to know anything, because if he had a girlfriend who was now pregnant, that would nip my fantasies in the bud.
I shook it off as we walked into the house and the kids came running.
“Can we go shopping?” Lulu asked me as soon as I got inside.
“Sure. For what?”
“There’s a dance at school. Mom wants to make me a dress, but I don’t want that. I want something new and I have money saved.”
“If it’s okay with your mom, it’s okay with me,” I told her.
“She want to waste her money,” Samaria called out, “it up to her. Me, I prefer to save. She got no sense.”
“She’s fifteen,” I laughed. “She’s not supposed to have sense.”
Samaria grunted but I winked at Lulu and moved into the kitchen.
“She boy-crazy,” Samaria muttered.
“When did you start dating Fetu?” I asked her.
She scowled.
“When?” I pressed.
“Fourteen,” she said, turning her back on me.
“So you weren’t boy-crazy then?”
“Was a different time, different life in Samoa. No chance for me to go to college. Love and marriage and babies was all I had.”
“But you didn’t get married until you were twenty and didn’t have babies for a couple more years after that.”
“We was in love, not stupid.” She turned to me. “We had no money in Samoa. None. We could barely feed ourselves, much less babies. That’s why we come here to Tahiti, for a better life. I want my kids to do better than me.”
“I know, but it’s just a dance. She’s not going to do anything stupid. You raised her better than that.”
Samaria grunted but I knew she was listening because the tension in her shoulders relaxed a little. “I know,” she said softly. “But as a mom, you get scared.”
“I’m not a mom, but I understand.” I squeezed her arm. “And I’ll make sure to keep an eye on her too.”
Now she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ’cause you so smart about boys.”
I laughed. “Well, smarter than a fifteen-year-old.”
“Go bring Xander a beer.” She stuffed one in my hand, effectively ending the conversation.
I wandered out back where Xander and the kids were playing a rough game of soccer and I took him the beer.
“Thanks.” He smiled at me and his eyes were the color of rich bourbon in the late-afternoon sun. God, he really was gorgeous. It kept coming back to this, no matter how hard I tried to fight this attraction. Part of me wanted to proposition him and just get it over with. Maybe if we went ahead and had meaningless sex, I’d realize he was nothing special and get it out of my system. I wasn’t sure how to make that happen, though.
“Auntie, what happens at dances?”
Lulu’s question brought me back to reality and I frowned. “What do you mean? You dance, you’ll probably giggle with your girlfriends, maybe eat cake or something… I don’t know if they’re different here in Tahiti.”
“Was that how you had dances in Limaj?”
I hesitated. “I was a princess, so I went to fancy schools and we didn’t have…dances. We had balls. Masquerade parties. Events. It was overwhelming sometimes.”
“Did you like them?”
“Sometimes.” I smiled. “My mom and I would go shopping, and then we’d make a big deal out of getting ready, usually with a couple of my friends. But there were always so many chaperones and because I was a princess, I had to be very careful who I danced with and everything I did.”
“I’m not a princess but I’m kind of scared of that too. Some of the girls are…wild.”
“It was the same for me,” I explained. “There will always be kids who get into more mischief than others. You just have to remember who you are and know the difference between having fun and going too far.”
“But how do you know what’s too far?”
“If deep down you don’t think you should be doing it, then you definitely shouldn’t.”
“Did you do things you shouldn’t have?” she asked.
I sighed, a faraway smile on my face. “Not when I was your age. There was too much at stake, too much risk that I would publicly embarrass my family. There was a lot of pressure being a princess.”
“Being a princess sounds terrible,” Lulu whispered.
“Sometimes.” If that wasn’t an understatement, I didn’t know what was.
Xander and I walked back to our bungalows a li
ttle after nine, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
“I guess we’re taking Lulu shopping on Saturday,” I told him.
“Oh, goody.” He shook his head. “I can’t wait to go shopping with a European princess and a teenage girl.”
I frowned. “I thought you liked the kids?”
“I do.” He sighed. “My seventeen-year-old brother has a teenage girlfriend that’s making me a little grumpy right now. Don’t mind me.”
“I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“Yeah. He’s a good kid but hormones are rampant at this age.”
We paused in front of my bungalow and I looked up at him, my brain going straight to the wrong place: his lips. The crazy thing was, I wanted to reach out and touch them, trace a line along them with my finger, ending with pressing my own lips to his.
He was that nice to look at.
“I, um…” I couldn’t remember what I wanted to say and I just stared up into his handsome face, unconsciously licking my lips. It would be so much easier if he could just read my mind.
“I should go,” he said quietly, though his eyes never left mine.
“Uh-huh.” I couldn’t look away. His eyes were long-lashed, the tips nearly touching his brows. How did a man have eyelashes like that? And the color of his irises. Like a rich whiskey, and currently burning with an intensity that nearly took my breath away. No man had ever looked at me like Xander Holt was right now, as if there was nothing else in the world but me.
Oh, sweet Jesus, he was leaning forward.
13
Xander
I couldn’t take another second of the come-hither looks she’d been giving me all night. I didn’t know what had changed but the signals were clear as a bell and I was no saint. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done, but without warning, I lowered my head and pressed my lips to hers. I’d kissed a lot of girls in my time, but this was different. She was different. And her lips were as soft as a cloud and sweeter than honey.
She made an almost imperceptible sound, something wholly feminine and deliciously sexy, the most sensual thing I’d ever heard. I increased the pressure slightly, without opening my mouth, reveling in the feel of her lips against mine. This was an unidentifiable mixture of sexy and innocent, the way our mouths were pressed together without anything else.
Somewhere in the distance, someone slammed a door, making Elen jump and helping snap me back to reality before my little head overwhelmed my big one. I stepped back as abruptly as I’d kissed her, shaking my head. “I apologize. I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me.” I turned and walked to my own bungalow, firmly shutting the door behind me.
I immediately regretted everything, from kissing her to walking away, because I should have checked her bungalow first to make sure everything was okay. I texted her instead.
XANDER: Make sure you lock your door, please.
ELEN: Done.
XANDER: Good night.
ELEN: Good night.
Was she mad or resigned or something else? I was kicking myself a thousand ways to Sunday. What the hell had come over me and was I about to lose the best job I’d ever had? It was like something inside of me had snapped and the pull to kiss her had been irresistible. The odd thing was, she’d wanted it and kissed me back. Again, no tongue or anything, but there hadn’t been revulsion, shock, or even surprise. Her lips had puckered in response. I knew her well enough to know she’d been tempting me on purpose, so now the only question was whether or not she was a tease and/or pissed enough to get me fired.
I was truly a dumbass.
Shopping. That was the last thing I wanted to do with Elen and a fifteen-year-old girl and, well, there were no words for this level of torture. Apparently, finding the perfect dress for a teenager was harder than it sounded, and I felt like the ultimate third wheel today. Even my days as a part-time model hadn’t prepared me for this level of nitpicky dress shopping.
Elen hadn’t said a word about our kiss the night before last, and yesterday she’d stayed in her bungalow working on something for Parliament. We saw each other briefly at meals, but she’d kept to herself and I felt worse than before. I wanted to say something, but what was there to say?
“Nothing?” I asked as they came out of the fifth store’s dressing room.
“It’s not right,” Elen said. “We have to find a compromise between something she likes and something her mother will approve of.”
I grimaced. “What about that one?” I said, motioning with my head.
Lulu’s gaze swung in that direction and she frowned. “Which one?”
“The lavender one. It’ll go great with your coloring.”
Elen frowned but they both approached the rack and looked at the dress. It was a halter top, but it wasn’t too short, would cover her chest completely and had a bunch of scarves for the skirt, so it was whimsical without being stodgy.
“I like it,” Lulu said cautiously. “How did we miss this?”
“It’s the only one of this style,” Elen murmured. “I think it might fit. Go try it on.”
Lulu snatched it from her and ran back inside.
Elen glanced at me. “So now you’re a fashion expert?”
“I’m a man who used to model,” I responded with a shrug. “I have a pretty good eye and that dress will be stunning on her.”
“I think so too.”
I met her eyes. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you and say I’m sorry about the other night.”
“It’s okay. Really, don’t give it another thought.”
“Really?” I frowned. “Don’t give it another thought?”
She frowned back. “It was just a kiss and a tame one at that. Did you think a simple moment of weakness would make me swoon over you or something?”
“No!” Why did this woman always make me crazy? “I just thought—”
“I love it!” Lulu came bounding out of the dressing room with a huge grin.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Elen breathed, turning to smile at her. “I think this is the dress.”
“It’s lovely,” I added quietly. “Do you think your mother will like it?”
“I hope so.” She managed a nervous smile. “It’s a little expensive, though. If I buy this one, I won’t be able to buy shoes.”
“How about I buy you the shoes?” Elen volunteered. “But we won’t tell your mom.”
“She’ll be mad if she finds out.”
“We don’t have to tell her everything,” Elen said softly. She wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulders and led her back into the dressing room, effectively cutting me off and cutting me out. I had to say something, unwilling to let it go, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
That night we walked back from dinner at the main house together. Elen was quieter than usual and I hated that I’d probably pushed her even further away with that damn kiss.
“Elen, we have to talk about what happened.”
“We don’t.” She put a hand out to open the door of her guest house.
I put my hand on hers. “I need to know why you kissed me back if you’re not interested in talking about it.”
She cut her eyes to me. “It was a moment of weakness, like you said, but you’re taken and that’s not the kind of woman I am.”
“I’m…taken?” I stared at her in confusion. “By whom?”
“Whoever the woman is who might be pregnant. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but—”
“Pregnant?” I gaped at her. “What are you talking about? I haven’t had sex in about four months, so there’s no possibility of anyone in my past being in that situation either.”
“I heard you. You asked her how there ‘might’ be a baby and why didn’t she know for sure, or something like that.” Her eyes met mine.
I squinted, trying to understand what she was talking about, and then it all came back. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. My brother. He and a girl he hooked up with at a party have a pregnancy scare going on.”
Her mouth opened a little and then she grimaced. “I didn’t mean to overhear… I was just going to pick you up for dinner and I heard you talking and only caught a few sentences before I walked away so I didn’t intrude. I’m sorry. I misunderstood.”
I shook my head. “Jesus, not only was your assessment wrong, but it kind of bugs me that you think that little of me, that I would kiss you while dealing with a pregnant girlfriend somewhere.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“Well, I guess there’s good news now, though.”
“Oh?” She quirked an eyebrow at me.
“That means I can kiss you again.”
“Oh, really?” She leaned against the wall, her eyes never leaving mine. “Did it ever occur to you to ask?”
“Can I kiss you, Princess?”
“I think it’s a terrible idea.” She licked her lips.
“How come?” I put one hand flat against the wall above her head, fixing my eyes on her beautiful mouth.
“Because I’m your boss.”
“Joe is my boss.”
She swallowed. “Because I’m…a princess.”
“Princesses don’t like to kiss?”
“We do, but, you know…” She reached up and trailed the fingers of one hand along my cheek. “Usually when two people have a casual hookup, it’s hard to work together afterwards.”
“It won’t be hard for me.” I leaned in until my mouth was just a fraction of an inch from hers. “And you think too much.” I waited, my eyes on hers, letting her make the final decision. I was all in, but still enough of a gentleman not to push it if she truly didn’t want this to happen.
Thank god she did. She met me the rest of the way, her lips grazing mine with gentle curiosity. Shit, slow and gentle wasn’t going to cut it, not with a firecracker like Elen, and I slid one arm around her waist so I could draw her against me. Then I slid my tongue along the seam of her lips, waiting for her to open for me. To my surprise and delight, she nipped my tongue with her teeth, a teasing smile on her face as she did it. Fuck, I’d known she would be sexy, but I hadn’t expected playful.
