by Kat Mizera
I might have blushed, which would have been a first for me. I wasn’t embarrassed about Elen and me getting caught having sex, but I would never intentionally do anything that the kids might see or hear. “Sorry about that,” I murmured. “I didn’t realize they could hear.”
“They sleep like the dead.” She pulled something out of the oven. “What happen? The sex bad or something?”
I snorted out a laugh. She was absolutely the most direct woman I’d ever met. “You know Elen. If there’s a way for her to make a good thing go bad, she does it.”
“Elen need a strong man to make her stop that,” she said, cutting a slice of whatever she’d just pulled out of the oven. “You man enough for Elen?”
“I have no idea, Samaria.” I sipped my coffee. “I think I could be, but she’s not interested. She basically told me I’m not good enough for her. I think that says it all.”
“You can’t listen to what she says,” Fetu said, sitting beside me. “Samaria talk all the time—she yell and carry on and threaten to beat me with riding crop. You think I listen to her words or her heart? What she does. How it feel when we together. You have to listen with your heart, my friend, not your ears. Feel how she feels, not how she talks.”
I frowned and glanced at Samaria. “You threaten to beat him with a riding crop?”
She winked. “Don’t listen to him either—he like it.”
She and Fetu belly laughed and then the big Samoan got up, patted me on the head like I was a kid, and left the house.
“You guys are funny.”
“We laugh a lot. Elen need to laugh more.”
“She needs something.” I glanced at the plate she put in front of me. “What is it?”
“Eat it or I get the riding crop.”
I chuckled and took a bite. “That’s damn good. Thank you.”
“You eat and think. Then you get out of my kitchen so I can hear Elen’s side of story.”
I ate two more slices of whatever it was and then went for a run on the beach, my thoughts jumbled as I tried to put images of the night before out of my head. I’d had a lot of great sex over the years, but nothing like last night. It wasn’t that the physical act had been anything spectacular or over-the-top, but the connection between us was like no other. Not for me anyway. I had a feeling she’d experienced a lot of what I did, which led to her freaking out, but the things she’d said were veiled insults, as if she needed to convince herself I wasn’t good enough for her, and I didn’t like being treated that way. I always treated the people in my life, whether they were friends or lovers or simple acquaintances, with understanding, respect and caring. She’d thought nothing of insulting me, even if her intention had merely been to push me away, and there were other ways to do that.
Besides, it’s not like I’d proposed marriage or anything. She’d gone from “I love it when you call me baby” to “you’re not good enough for me” in a heartbeat, and that wasn’t cool. I would never do that to a woman I’d just made love with, even if it was a one-night stand, and I wouldn’t stand for being treated that way myself. If Princess Elen thought passive-aggressive games worked with me, she was dead wrong.
I’d just gotten back to my bungalow when Sandor’s name flashed on the screen of my phone and I answered gingerly. “Hey.”
“Good morning.” Sandor sounded subdued.
“Why do you sound serious? Everything okay?”
“All good, but Erik just received an invitation to attend a private gala being thrown by King Alistair. The party happens to be in Tahiti. Since Elen is already there, Erik thinks it might be good for her to go, represent the family.”
“That’s just great,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I think King Alistair is trying to set her up with his son,” he responded.
“Oh, goody. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”
“He’s a longtime friend and ally, not to mention a good man. There’s no pressure as far as the son goes, but I’ll talk to her about that part of it. I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“When is the party?”
“Saturday.”
“That’s the night of Lulu’s dance,” I murmured.
“Who?” Sandor asked.
“Never mind.”
“Okay, well, Erik will talk to Elen, and Ace will be heading out that way midweek because I don’t think one bodyguard is enough at a big event like this. Too many members of royalty and the elite, so you’ll have backup.”
“Got it.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just got back from a run on the beach and need a shower. We’ll talk soon.” I disconnected and sighed, glancing at the closed door to Elen’s bungalow. As much as she’d hurt my feelings, I really wanted to see her, talk to her, try to convince her how good we were together. Too bad she was even more stubborn than I was.
16
Elen
I tossed and turned all night, guilt and regret gnawing its way through my gut. I’d totally panicked after Xander and I finished having sex, and instead of talking to him, like a normal, rational person would, I’d made up some bullshit about our working relationship. What the hell was wrong with me? It had been a long time since my last relationship. Almost six years, to be exact, so I was out of practice and decidedly inexperienced. I’d dated, of course, and had plenty of sex, but finding a guy who made me feel what Xander made me feel, well, this was a first.
His bungalow was closed up tight when I stepped outside, so I went up to the house without stopping. Samaria was kneading bread dough on the table and she glanced at me with a scowl.
“You make too much noise when you get sexy. Almost woke the baby.”
My mouth fell open and I gaped at her. “What?”
“You heard me. And you stupid, too.”
I scowled. “Please don’t do this today. Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?”
“I am. That why I tell you the truth.”
“I’m not stupid.”
“Not your brain, your heart. Really stupid.”
“Thanks.” I poured a cup of coffee.
“Why you do the horizontal tango with Xander if you don’t like him?”
“I do like him!” I scowled at her.
“Then what’s wrong with you? He pretty. He smart. He not rich like you, but he work hard. He put up with your shit, too.”
“Do you have any idea what his life will be like if he gets involved with me?”
“Sexy?” She looked up from the dough in her hands. “Fun?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “My entire life is centered around fear. Fear of assassination. Fear of kidnapping. Fear of bombs. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, much less someone I like.”
“But he’s your bodyguard.” She frowned. “If you get blowed up, he gets blowed up. If you get kidnapped, he probably already dead. What’s the difference?”
“I don’t know.” I looked down as Elena crawled into my lap. I absently stroked her hair. “Did you talk to him this morning?”
“Yup.” She pounded on the dough in front of her. “His feelings hurt. If I was him, I let you get kidnapped today.”
“That’s not who he is.”
“I know. That why your heart stupid.”
“Samaria, how do you know when something is more than just sex? Did you ever have sex with anyone but Fetu?”
She paused, glancing at Elena. “Lena, go get Mama some sunscreen.”
“Okay!” Elena took off and Samaria turned to me, her face thoughtful.
“When I was nineteen, Fetu and I break up. He said better for me, because he was never gonna find job, never gonna be able to take care of me. I went out with a tourist, nice man from New Zealand.” She smiled. “He funny. He have money. He have big dick. He say I go home to New Zealand with him.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Sex okay. Dates nice. We have fun. But nothing there. My heart was empty. He like a friend but with those sexy benefits. W
hen I look in his eyes, I see nothing. With Fetu, when I look, I see everything. His heart, his soul, his everything. What you see with Xander?”
I dipped my head, unsure how to answer that. I’d definitely felt his soul last night when he’d made love to me, but I didn’t know if it was the same as what she was talking about. I was also terrified to admit something like that out loud.
“Okay, you make your own eggs. I have work to do. No time for talking. But for real, sista—you think hard before you let him go. You not gonna find another one like him.” She gently squeezed my arm, a rare show of affection from her, and then she bustled off into the house somewhere.
The call from Erik about King Alistair’s party was frustrating. I could and would do anything to help him with general royal duties, but spending an evening flirting with Prince Rycliff sounded terrible. Especially now with everything going on. I’d promised Lulu I’d help her get ready for her dance and now I had to get ready for one of my own. I hadn’t brought anything that formal with me, but since Ace was flying out, I was able to get Lennox to pick out a dress, shoes and accessories for me. Xander was also able to have Ace grab one of his suits, since he’d need one to be there in an official capacity.
I’d been planning to chaperone Lulu’s dance, but that wasn’t going to happen now, and we were both disappointed. I owed Erik, though, after walking away from all my duties without any warning, so now I was on the beach, baking in the sun and thinking about the gorgeous man next to me. He hadn’t said a word to me beyond a polite greeting, and I felt even worse than I had last night. I didn’t know how to explain the things I’d said or the way I’d behaved, because the truth was that I liked him too much. I wanted him so much it made my chest hurt, but I felt a responsibility not to pull him into this hell that my life had become.
There were good things of course, and Samaria was right that he was already in danger, but he had choices. He could quit or leave or get reassigned at any time. Starting something with me, something as passionate and emotional as what we’d shared last night, that was a recipe for disaster. And what if we got really serious? Like wedding band and babies serious? How would he protect all of us? And who would protect him?
I sat up in frustration. “Want to surf?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “Nah. You go ahead.”
I wanted to protest but merely nodded, getting up and heading over to pick a board. He was obviously still mad, and I didn’t know how to fix it, so I opted to let it go. Maybe a little exercise would soothe my racing brain.
I’d been raised going to official functions with other royals, and though I’d been out of the limelight for a long time, old habits died hard. Not to mention the dozen I’d had to attend in the year or so since Erik had been in power. Tonight’s event was excruciating, though. Not just because Rycliff was all over me, but because I couldn’t stop thinking about Xander and how much of an epic mistake I’d made with him. I had more pressing issues, though, since Rycliff was making me crazy with his suggestive innuendos and groping hands. If he pinched my ass one more time, I was going to throttle him, trade deals or not.
“We should get some air,” he was saying now, trying to lead me out to the wraparound terrace surrounding the ballroom.
“I need to powder my nose,” I told him, gently but firmly pulling my arm free.
He scowled but quickly masked it, inclining his head. “I eagerly await your return.”
I hurried in the other direction, desperate to get away from him and—ran right smack into Xander’s chest. I frowned up at him. “What are you—”
“I need to talk to you,” he said under his breath. “Now.”
I nodded, following him to a small alcove in the hallway outside the ballroom. He pushed me against the wall, his eyes glittering with something I couldn’t quite identify.
“Do you like having his hands all over you?”
“Excuse me?” I blinked up at him.
“He’s been groping you like a randy teenager,” he hissed. “I just want to know if you like it.”
“What are you—”
“Answer the fucking question!” he snapped.
Was he jealous? The thought made my heart leap a little, until I remembered that us being together was a bad idea. However, this was something different and Rycliff was getting on my nerves. “No, of course I don’t like it,” I said carefully. “But I have to toe the line and—”
“There is no universe where you have to allow someone to touch you. Erik wouldn’t ask it of you, and understand me when I say—it won’t continue.”
“Xander, you can’t get involved. Unless he tries to hurt me, I can handle it.”
“Baby, even if I hadn’t fucked your brains out the other day, there’s no universe where I let any guy grope and disrespect you like that. So handle it before he does it again, or I will.”
He’d called me baby again. And I was pretty sure my panties were wet. “Xander, can we—”
“Not here, not tonight.” His jaw tightened as he cut me off.
“How do you know what I was going to say?”
“I know you, Princess. Better than you know yourself sometimes.”
“I don’t want us to be at odds,” I whispered.
“I think that’s going to be par for the course for us,” he said. “But I’m still not going to let him touch you against your will.”
I managed a small smile. “Let me handle it for now, but if he pinches my ass again, you have my permission to intervene.”
“Damn straight.”
I walked back into the ballroom and Prince Rycliff’s mother, Queen Celine, approached me with a smile. “Do you have a moment, Elen?”
“Of course.” I liked the queen. She was a smart, stylish middle-aged woman who did a lot of good things for women and children in her country. She was a strong partner to her husband, and a small but effective advocate for all of her people. How she’d managed to raise an ill-mannered clod like Rycliff was beyond me, but I wouldn’t say that out loud, of course.
“Tell me how things are going in Limaj,” she said as we settled at a small table in the back. “And I don’t mean the official things your cousin speaks to my husband about. I mean the real things, the important things, like medical care and education.”
“Slowly,” I admitted. “But it’s been steady, so there’s progress, even though it’s not happening as quickly as any of us would like.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” There was sincerity in her eyes that made me happy.
“I don’t think so.”
“How are you handling performing your princess duties as well as maintaining a seat in Parliament?”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and be honest. Instead, I just smiled. “It’s been a lot of work, which is why I’m here in Tahiti recovering from pneumonia. But overall, it’s satisfying to be personally responsible for affecting change.”
“Such a politically correct answer.” Celine smiled back. “But I understand the need to put on a brave front. Pneumonia sounds terrible. I hope you’re taking it easy.”
“I am. I’ve loved being on the beach every day, sleeping late, not dealing with stodgy old men who expect me to prove myself three times a day.”
She nodded. “Believe me, I’m familiar with that notion. I’m glad you’re hanging in there.”
“I don’t have a choice. We have to get our country back on the right path.”
“And are you still single?”
Ah, here it was. The push to get me together with Rycliff.
“Sort of.”
“Is there a man in your life?” Her eyes twinkled.
I hoped it wouldn’t hurt Erik’s dealings with King Alistair, but this was my chance to get away from Rycliff, because there was no chance of anything happening between us. “There’s a man I’ve spent some time with. The issue is bringing him into the very messy world I live in. He’s American.”
“Ah. No royal blood, no experience wit
h our lifestyle.”
“None.”
“Is he willing?”
“I think he is. But I also don’t think he understands that nothing will ever be the same for him.”
“I wasn’t the woman Alistair’s father chose for him. I come from a middle-class family with no ties to royalty. But when we met in graduate school, Alistair said he knew immediately that he wanted to marry me. It took a while to convince his father it was the right choice, and it was pretty terrifying for me as well, but I wouldn’t change a thing. And if your love interest truly cares for you, he won’t either.”
“You’re not upset that I’m not interested in Rycliff?” I figured I might as well jump in with both feet at this point.
Celine laughed softly. “There was never a chance that Rycliff would get your attention. He’s nearly a decade younger than you and I’m fairly certain his frontal lobe hasn’t yet finished growing… It’s like he’s still sixteen when it comes to women. If you’d been interested, I would have asked what was wrong with you.”
I chuckled too. “He’s quite bright and very handsome, but the constant groping gets old.”
“Was he groping you?” Her eyes narrowed. “I apologize. My husband will have a talk with him.”
“Thank you.”
“And I meant what I said—if you need anything, even if it’s moral support, please reach out. Our countries are allies and with our close geographical proximity, anything that impacts Limaj also impacts us.”
“I appreciate it. And you. It’s nice to have another strong, like-minded woman on board.”
“Queen Casey is an inspiration to me,” Celine said. “I admire her a great deal, and have become a big fan of her music as well, though I probably won’t admit that to anyone else.”
“I wasn’t much into hard rock myself,” I admitted. “But I do love Casey’s music.”
“I’ll see you soon, Elen.” She got to her feet and we air-kissed before she moved toward her husband.
“Elen.” I turned at the strange tone in Xander’s voice.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Omar is here.”
