by Amy Cross
“There was nothing more we could’ve done.”
“We could’ve given her a Christian burial.”
“You were the one who -”
“I know!” he hissed. “I know, I just… It’s been five years. I’ve had a lot of time to think about the choices we made that night.”
“It was your idea.”
“It was the best thing for Rose,” Michael replied. “For everyone, for the whole town… I just think maybe we should have buried her better, that’s all. Maybe found a way for her to show up eventually.”
“And what good would that have done?” Gorman asked, keeping his voice down so that no-one else in the house could overhear. “There’d have been questions. The truth would’ve come out, that video would’ve ended up being used as evidence and it would have entered the public domain…” He paused, watching as Michael took a seat at the kitchen table and placed his head in his hands. “Think how many people would have ended up watching the video,” he added finally. “All those eyeballs watching Rose as she was… It’s like you said five years ago, it would have been humiliating for her. Instead, we sorted things out ourselves. The people responsible for what happened ended up facing better justice than they ever would’ve got from the court system. The only ones who suffered out of this were you and me, and that’s just ‘cause we know the truth.”
“And Rose,” Michael pointed out, sniffing back more tears. “She suffered. We should’ve found a way to give her a decent resting place.”
“We couldn’t risk those questions being asked.”
“Meanwhile,” Michael continued, “you get to keep your perfect record, don’t you? No major crimes have been committed in Vantage while you’ve been in the Sheriff’s office. That’s the story everyone believes, right? It’s the reason they all look up to you and thank you for keep everyone safe. Imagine if they knew the truth, huh?” Staring at Gorman, he paused, as if he was struggling to stay calm. “Are you sure this was all about Rose? Are you sure you weren’t just looking to save your own reputation?”
“I’m going to get that disc back,” Gorman said firmly, “and I’m going to deal with whoever took it, and then everything will go back to normal, or… the closest thing we can get to normal these days.” Picking up his hat, he gave it a quick wipe to get rid of a few spots of water. After grabbing his cane he limped to the door, and then he stopped for a moment and looked back at Michael. “The disc will be back in my possession within twenty-four hours, and it’ll still be the only copy. Mark my words. The plan is still on, this is just a bump in the road. I warned you there might be complications, and I also told you I’d sort them out.”
“And what about Rose?” Michael asked blankly. “She’s still out there -”
“That’s just her body,” Gorman replied. “Her soul’s long gone, that’s the important thing. She’s at peace.” Hearing another creak from above, he realized that Carey was still up and about. “Go to your wife, Michael. Tell her everything’s gonna be okay. Make her believe you, the way everyone around here believes me. Protect her. I’ll be in touch soon, just as soon as I’ve got this figured out.”
Once he was back out on the porch, Gorman paused for a moment to watch as the rain fell with even greater intensity that before. Looking up into the dark sky, he began to close his coat, ready for the journey to the car. In the old days, before his injury, he would’ve been able to run, but now the most he could do was shuffle along. Finally he put his hat back on and then made his way out into the rain, but as he got to the car he fumbled with his keys and dropped them. Leaning down to pick them up from the asphalt, he happened to glance toward the trees.
And that’s when he saw her.
His heart skipped a beat.
A few meters away, there was a figure standing in the forest, staring straight at him. In the pale moonlight, her features were almost impossible to make out, but a shiver passed through Gorman’s body as he realized exactly who he was seeing. Keeping his eyes on the figure as he unlocked his car door, he finally climbed inside and now, with rain pouring down the window, he was no longer able to see anyone, almost as if she’d somehow vanished into the night air. He paused for a moment, his heart racing, before finally he started the engine and began the long drive back into town.
As he drove away, he passed a dead cat by the side of the road. Rats had already emerged from the forest, braving the rain to pick apart the carcass.
Five years ago
“Rose! Wait up!”
Stopping by the side of the road, just next to the steps that led up into the local library, Rose turned to see one of her school-friends, Ricky, hurrying to catch up. Although she tried to hide it, a flicker of a smile crossed her lips as she saw the eagerness in his eyes, but by the time he reached her she’d managed to get her poker face back on display.
“Hey,” he said a little breathlessly. “You want to do something?”
“I already am,” she replied. “I’m going to the library to check out some books.”
“Yeah, but I mean… Do you want to actually do something?”
“I’m never not doing something,” she replied, allowing herself a faint smile. “Breathing in, breathing out… thinking about life, the universe and everything.”
“Huh?”
“Relax,” she added, “I’m just messing with you. I really need to get these books, but then…” She paused, wondering whether she might be at risk of giving in too easily. After all, she wanted to make him chase her a little before she gave him what he wanted. What she wanted too. “So what did you have in mind?” she asked, taking a step back while being careful to maintain eye contact. “The world’s a big place, Ricky Baggard, and the possibilities are infinite, so ‘something’ really isn’t specific enough, is it? You can’t hope to catch a girl’s interest without a better plan.”
“I don’t know, I -”
“Let me know when you have an actual idea,” she replied, turning and heading up the steps.
“Wait!”
Smiling again, she turned and looked back down at him.
“How about a movie?” he asked.
“There’s no theater in Vantage,” she pointed out.
“So we’ll go to Hudson or Cantonville, somewhere there is a theater. What do you say? I can borrow my Dad’s car, I can get some fake ID cards and we can make an evening of it. Hell, I can even score some beer from the secret cooler in the garage that my Dad doesn’t think anyone else knows about. He can’t exactly get mad without admitting that it exists in the first place, so…” He paused, waiting for her to give him an answer. “Well?”
“I don’t know what my parents would say,” she replied. “No, scratch that, I know exactly what they’d say. My Mom would say no, and my Dad would go on a long rant about how I’m only seventeen so I have to stay home and be a good little girl.”
“So? Doesn’t your room have a window and a drainpipe?”
“Jesus,” she muttered, “it’s like some kind of bad movie.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?” he asked. “You sneak out with me, we have a fun night, I deliver you safe and sound back home and, what, your parents yell at you? They seem pretty mellow, anyway, so it’s not like they’re gonna go totally mental over something like this. Come on, I’m the one taking all the big risks. It’s Friday night, don’t you want to come and find out how much fun we can have?”
She stared at him for a moment, and although she’d been planning to make him work a lot harder, she finally realized that she might as well give him a little sliver of encouragement.
“I have to be home by midnight,” she told him, “and that’s not my parents’ rule, it’s mine, got it?”
“Got it.”
“And no drinking.”
“Come on -”
“No drinking! Seriously, let’s not turn this night into a total cliche. Leave the beer in your Dad’s illicit cooler and let’s just, you know, hang out. Unless you don’t think you’ve got
enough personality to actually hold a conversation with me all evening?”
“I think I can manage that,” he replied with a smile. “How about… one beer each?”
“How about you pick me up at eight down by the end of my road? For God’s sake, don’t drive up to the house. And I’m not climbing down a goddamn drainpipe, either. My parents trust me and I’ll come up with some story to cover for the evening. I’ll tell them I’m going to do some homework with Karyn or something like that. Again, a cliche-ridden night out doesn’t appeal. I want this to be more… real-life. Normal. Not like a movie. Take me to see the stars.”
“Which stars?”
“Duh. The stars. Figure it out.”
“Eight it is,” he replied, “and don’t worry, it’s gonna be the best night of your life.”
Rose watched as he ran off toward his car, with all the enthusiastic energy of a puppy. Although there was a part of her that felt she’d caved way too easily, she also figured that a night out with Ricky Baggard would be fun, even if he was far too lightweight and inconsequential to ever be a serious boyfriend. Heading up the steps and making her way into the library, she told herself that she deserved at least one night of fun before she started studying seriously for her exams, and before her father got serious again.
Besides, everyone knew that in Vantage, nothing too bad ever happened. With Sheriff Ben Gorman in charge, Vantage was widely known as the safest town in the entire country.
***
“Studying, huh?” Michael asked as he watched his oldest daughter from the head of the table. “Sure. Whatever. Just make sure you get back from Karyn’s before midnight, okay?”
“Of course.”
“No sleep-overs,” he added. “I’ll come and pick you in the truck around quarter to. I don’t want you walking home in the dark.”
“There’s no need,” Rose replied quickly, trying not to panic. “I… Karyn’s father has a car, and he’s already agreed to pick me up and drop me off. I know how much you like watching sports on a Friday night, Dad, and you can’t enjoy it if you have to stay sober and watch the clock.” She smiled. “I’ll be fine. I’m seventeen now, I’m not a kid. You don’t need to protect me all the time.”
“She’s right,” Carey said as she finished serving dinner. Heavily-pregnant with twins, she winced at the pain in her back. “I mean, I don’t believe for a second that she and Karyn are going to spend the evening studying. I’m not that naive. They’ll just be talking about boys and singers and all that garbage, but I guess they’ll be safe.”
“When I was a kid,” Michael replied, “we wasted our time on more important things, like cars and sports. You know, things that were constructive, things that might actually lead to something.”
“And did any of those things lead to anything constructive?” Rose asked with a knowing smile. “How’s it going at the car-wash? Washed any interesting motor vehicles lately?”
Michael fixed her with a stern expression, clearly unamused by his daughter’s mocking tones.
“For your information,” Rose continued, as Carey set food on the table, “Karyn and I actually are going to study hard. Karyn wants to join the police force, and I’m thinking about college.”
“Out of the question,” Michael said quickly.
“But -”
“You’d have to move away,” he added, “and we wouldn’t be able to keep you safe. Seriously, girl, there are dangers out there.”
“If I want to go to college,” she replied, “and if I can make the finances work, then why shouldn’t I? Do you seriously think I want to sit around in Vantage my whole life, wasting away and letting my brain rot to mush?” She glanced over at her mother. “No offense, but Vantage is just this little hick town. I want to get out there and explore the world, and study and travel and -”
“Meet boys?” Michael asked.
Rose turned to him. “What’s wrong? Jealous?”
“That’s enough,” Carey said with a sigh as she eased herself onto a seat. “Can the pair of you not go one evening without squabbling? Michael, our daughter is going to her friend’s house tonight and she’ll be back before midnight. Rose, your father is working hard in a pretty tough economy and it wouldn’t kill you to show a little more respect. Trust me, when you get out there into the big wide world, you’re going to realize that putting food on the table isn’t as easy as it might appear.”
“Most fathers do it just fine,” Rose muttered, picking up her fork and starting the process of examining her meal. “How the hell’s he going to manage when the twins are here?”
“Rose -”
“No,” Michael interjected, “honey, maybe she’s right. Maybe I can’t feed five mouths. Maybe it’d be good if Rose got on with her life and moved out. I mean, we sure as hell can’t afford to send her to college, but she seems to know the answer to everything so why doesn’t she soar high above us and show us how it’s all done?” He waited for Rose to reply, but the girl seemed to have suddenly fallen silent. “What’s wrong?” he added. “Not got any quick answers?”
“None that you’d like me to share at the dinner table,” she shot back at him.
“And what’s that -”
“You know.”
They fell silent.
“What are you on about now?” Carey asked with a nervous smile as she gathered a forkful of meat. “Sometimes I swear you two talk in code.”
“I’m just saying,” Rose continued, maintaining eye contact with her father, “that when people go out into the world, they tend to get exposed to new ideas, and that makes them question their old ideas. So, like, things that they used to do, things they were told were totally normal, might suddenly seem… not normal.” She paused, and this time there was a hint of fear in her gaze, even though she refused to look away from Michael. “I’m seventeen,” she added. “I’m starting to realize that maybe I fell for a few lies when I was a kid. That’s all.”
“Like what?” Michael asked pointedly.
“I don’t know. It’s natural to trust your father when you’re a kid, but then when you hit puberty and go a little way beyond, you start to realize that none of your friends did the same things that -”
“Can you please stop it?” Carey said suddenly, interrupting her with a frantic look in her eyes. “This isn’t the time to go raking over any perceived mistakes, Rose.”
“Perceived mistakes, mother?”
“Let’s just eat.”
“Shouldn’t we say grace first?” Rose asked with a mischievous smile. “Come on, I’ll lead.” Putting her hands together, she closed her eyes and waited. “You guys ready?”
Sighing, Carey followed suit, and finally Michael did the same, although he kept his eyes partially open, as if he refused to stop watching his daughter.
“Dear Lord,” Rose continued with a grin, “for the food we’re about to receive and so on and so forth, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We ask that you guide us and help us to do the right thing, ‘cause sometimes that can be kind of hard to work out. We know that you’re watching us, that you see every little thing that we do, and we pray for your forgiveness. We also know that we’ll all be judged one day, and that we can’t lie to you the way we might lie to other people down here. Amen.”
Once the prayer was over, the three of them ate in silence.
***
“Rose! Hey, wait up!”
Stopping on the stairs, Rose let out a theatrical sigh as she turned and looked down at her father. In the next room, her mother could be heard getting on with the dishes.
“Tonight,” Michael said after a moment.
“Tonight what?” she asked hesitantly.
“The last time. Tonight.”
“You always say that.”
“This time I mean it. This time I’ll… I’ll give you something that guarantees it won’t happen again.”
“I’m going out,” she replied flatly, almost as if all the emotion had suddenly left her soul.
/>
“Not all night,” he pointed out. “You promised to be back by midnight, so that still leaves a good five or six hours until morning.”
“I’ll be tired.”
“Don’t defy me, Rose,” he said firmly. “You’ve already pushed me far enough tonight. You want out? Fine, you can get out, but not until you’ve done it one final time. You owe me.”
“I don’t owe you a damn thing.”
“I’ll split it fifty-fifty with you,” he replied. “You’ve always been nagging me for that, so fine, I’ll swallow the production costs and we’ll split the money evenly. After that… This’ll be the last one, I promise.”
She stared at him for a moment, as if she wasn’t quite sure whether she could trust him.
“Consider it a gift,” he added finally. “Put it toward your college fund.”
“Go screw yourself,” she snapped back at him.
“So you’re turning me down? You don’t want to end it tonight?”
“Fine,” she muttered, “fifty-fifty and it ends, period. No second thoughts, no pity chances. It ends, and we never even mention it again. Deal?”
He nodded.
“And I am going to look into college,” she told him. “There’s no way I’m gonna spend my whole life sitting around Vantage just so you and Mom can protect me from the big wide world. It’s not natural.”
“Seems like you’ve got it all figured out.”
“Great,” she added with a look of total contempt. “I look forward to it. See you at midnight, Daddy.”
With that, she headed upstairs, leaving Michael to lean back against the wall and close his eyes. Above, Rose could already be heard stomping to her room. Moments later, her bedroom door slammed shut.
Today
“It’s a mess is what it is,” Gorman muttered as he poured himself a glass of whiskey. “If people find out that a thief got into my office, I’ll be a laughing stock.”
“Who’s going to find out?” asked his wife June as she watched from the doorway. “You’ll just smooth it over, the way you always do. No-one has to know a damn thing. Just keep it under your hat.”
