by Lisa Yee
I gave this some serious thought. Did I really want to meet with Millicent Min? After all this time, it felt awkward talking to her. It had never felt that way before. “Okay,” I finally agreed. “Meet you in half an hour. The mall. Our regular place.”
As usual, Millicent was waiting for me in the food court. She was wearing her favorite “So many books, so little time” T-shirt, her briefcase at her feet. I took a hard look at it. It wasn’t a faux briefcase. It was the real thing, and it didn’t look trendy, it looked geeky.
“Hi Emily!” Millie’s voice was wobbly but her body was stiff. She handed me a big bag of Jelly Bellies. I love Jelly Bellies, especially the bubble gum and licorice flavors.
“No thank you.” I pushed the bag away. “I’m on a diet.”
Millie’s jaw dropped. “But you’re not fat! Anyway, jelly beans are fat-free.”
“I am on a diet,” I repeated firmly as I pulled out a chair. It made an embarrassing sound as it scraped against the floor. Normally one of us would have cracked a joke about this. Instead, I sat down and crossed my arms. Millicent remained standing. She was wearing two friendship necklaces, hers and mine, and she clutched both as she spoke.
“Well, I know that my being a genius can be off-putting,” she began. “But I am certain our friendship is strong enough to withstand the effects of my high intelligence.”
“Man,” I said, shaking my head, “for someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you sure are dumb.”
“Pardon me?”
“Millicent,” I struggled to explain, “this is not about your brain. I’m mad at you because we were supposed to be best friends! But you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. Instead, you just assumed I wouldn’t be able to handle it. There was this huge part of your life that you hid from me!”
“I can’t believe you just called me dumb! Et tu, Brute.”
“But Millie, you do act really dumb sometimes, like you’re clueless.” By now we were both standing.
“So …?” Millie was gripping the beads so hard, I was afraid the necklaces would break.
“So nothing. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Really?”
“I don’t care if you’re smart or dumb, as long as you’re a true friend.”
Millicent was silent for the longest time. Finally she said, “Emily, I’m sorry if I misrepresented myself in any manner. For you see, I had sorely misjudged the dynamics of our relationship….”
Urggggg, why was she making this so hard?
“Millie, you just didn’t misjudge our relationship, you misjudged me!” I shouted. “Can’t you just shut up and say you’re sorry you lied without making up a bunch of hooey?”
Instantly I was sorry. Millie looked the way I felt — hurt.
Finally after a million years, she mumbled, “I am sorry I lied to you, Emily. I hope you can forgive me.”
Could I forgive her? I wondered. After her lies and betrayal? Now it was up to me. I could go on being angry at Millicent and feeling horrible. Or I could be her friend again. My body suddenly got light and I was dizzy, but this time it wasn’t from not eating.
Millie let go of the necklaces as she turned to walk away.
“Hey!” I grabbed her shirt. “Where do you think you’re going? I really missed you.” I gave her a bear hug and she hugged me back. “I always knew you were strange,” I said as I took the bag of Jelly Bellies and dipped into them. (They tasted sooooooo good!) “But I could never figure out why. Now I think I know. It’s because you’re an only child, isn’t it? Alice thinks that because I don’t have brothers or sisters it has affected my outlook on life. She also finally admitted that she should have told me about the divorce sooner. And get this, she is STILL wearing those weird hippie clothes —”
“Emily,” Millie interrupted. “I need to ask you something.”
“Yes?”
“What happened to your eyebrows?”
“Oh. Well, you’re not going to believe this, but I plucked them. I know, they look hideous….”
As I started to explain, Millie did something very un-Millicent. She burst into tears.
“They’ll grow back,” I assured her.
“It’s not that. I’m just so happy we’re friends again. Oh, Emily, I missed you so much. Things just didn’t feel right when you weren’t around.”
“I felt the same way! But Millicent, we’re not back to normal. You know that, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” She looked worried.
I pointed to my friendship necklace. “I want mine back, or I’ll have to wrestle you for it,” I said.
She broke into a huge grin, took the beads off her neck, and placed them around mine.
Soon we were both sobbing so loud that the man eating a burrito at a table nearby got up and left. I remember crying like this in Mrs. Buono’s class when I was leaving all my friends behind. Only this time, I wasn’t saying good-bye. I was saying hello.
Emily
AUGUST 29
Dear Dad,
I picked up some Moon Pies at the store this morning. When I got home, Alice was talking to someone in her office.
“I was thinking of teaching at Rogers College.”
“That’s where I’m going to summer school. Maybe I could introduce you to Professor Skylanski….”
“Look who’s here!” Alice called out when she saw me.
“MILLIE!” I shouted.
We grabbed a couple of sodas and retreated to my room. It was just like old times, except that about every ten seconds we would grin at each other for no reason. I told her all about Julie and Wendy and the Triple A’s.
“Did you want her to do the makeover on you?” Millie asked.
“Yes and no. I sort of didn’t think I had a choice,” I said. “What did you do when we weren’t together?”
“I read a lot,” Millie said, biting into a Moon Pie. “And I helped Ms. Martinez organize the library storage room. It was scary back there.”
“Did you ever read Romeo and Juliet?”
“Of course.”
“Well, what did you think of it?”
“I liked it, especially Act Two, Scene Two, even though it is grossly overquoted. You know” — she stood on a chair and put her hands over her heart —
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.
“Oh! I love that scene too. And what about when Juliet fakes her death? Wasn’t that unreal? Didn’t you just want to scream, ‘Not a good idea!’”
“Yes! And when she wakes up to find Romeo dead. Oh, the irony!”
“I cried until Juliet splashed water on him and yelled, ‘Awaken!’ And then they did that shimmy dance on the beach!”
“ ‘Awaken’?”
“Yeah, and that dance with floaties and beach umbrellas.”
“Are we talking about the same thing?”
“Romeo and Juliet.”
“Right, the Shakespeare play. Emily … did you read the play?”
“Well, I watched it,” I confessed. “Alice really wanted me to read it this summer….”
“… for her Shakespeare in inner-city schools article.”
“I couldn’t get through it, so I rented the movie. Romeo and Juliet: Wavelength.”
“That explains a lot of things,” Millie snorted.
“Have you ever read The Outsiders?”
“Of course. It’s got shades of Romeo and Juliet, and plenty of teenage angst.”
“Stanford gave it to me. I never finished it. Does it have a happy ending?”
“I’m not going to tell you. You’re going to have to read it for yourself.”
“I thought you’d say that. You know,” I said softly. “This might sound funny, but at one time I really thought Stanford Wong liked me.”
>
“He did like you.” Millie said, picking up a Bob Dylan CD. “He still does.” What? “I was hoping Stanford would call you. Has he?”
“Well, he’s called me about a thousand times, but he never says anything.”
“That coward! Stanford was embarrassed to have you find out he needed a tutor. It was his idea to pretend he was tutoring me.”
I shook my head. “What is wrong with the two of you?”
As Millicent continued alphabetizing my CDs, Alice knocked on the door.
“Emily, there’s a call for you.” She paused. “It’s your father.”
My father!!!!
I was so happy to hear from you! I couldn’t stop grinning.
“Daddy!!! Daddy, I’ve missed you so much!”
“Me too, pumpkin. Listen, Emily, there’s something I have to tell you.”
At last! I thought. I smiled knowingly, as I waited for you to clear up if you were still on tour, why the postcards stopped, who that lady was….
“Emily, I need you to stop using the credit card,” you said. “I just got a call from the credit card company asking me to confirm the purchase of six purses. Did you buy six purses?”
“Yes, but —”
“Emily, there’s no excuse for something like that.”
“But —”
“And it’s not just the purses. It looks like as the summer’s gone on, you’ve started spending more and more. You’re thirteen years old, you ought to know better.”
“I’m twelve.”
“Oh. Well, twelve is old enough to know better.”
“Are you still on the road?” I asked.
“Er, well. Yes, no. We’re sort of on a hiatus. We were on the road, but the tour was cut short. The promoters didn’t do their jobs, and, well, it wasn’t our fault the crowds weren’t there.”
“Why didn’t you call me when you got back?”
“I’ve been meaning to, but well, you know. Things get busy. We’re putting together a new show. This one will be so much better. New material too. Not just those oldies. Luka’s working on a power ballad that we think has number one written all over it, and Dean just got a new Gibson….”
“You only called once the entire summer.”
“Oh. Uh, I kept meaning to. But the band and all …”
“Right. The band.”
Now that you were finally on the phone, I couldn’t wait to hang up. “Emily, I need you to stop using the credit card,” you said.
Emily, I need you to stop using the credit card.
Emily, I need you to stop using the credit card.
“Uh, Dad, I gotta go.”
“Sure, okay. I love you, Emily.”
“Yeah. Love you too.”
The tears started before there was a dial tone. I couldn’t breathe. Alice rushed into the room. She was crying too.
“It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault,” she murmured.
It felt so good to be hugged. But when Alice kept crying, it was more than I could take. Her tears were drowning me.
“Please,” I begged, “you have to leave.”
Alice sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh. Yes, all right. I’ll go. But Emily, if you need me, I’m always here.”
I nodded as I shut the door after her.
Millie looked uncomfortable.
“I thought he called to tell me he was coming back,” I tried to explain through my tears. “Or that he wanted to say he had made a mistake. But nooooooo, Daddy just called because he wants me to stop using the credit card.”
“You do know that you were being delusional by thinking you could just will him to call and say everything you wanted to hear?”
I looked up at her. “Of course I knew it wasn’t going to happen, but I can pretend, can’t I? And what is your problem? You’re supposed to be my best friend, not a balloon popper.”
“A balloon popper?”
“Bubble burster, party pooper, balloon popper, whatever. Stop being so logical!”
Millicent grew quiet as she handed me tissue after tissue, until I ran out of tears. “Say, Em.” She hesitated. “Why don’t you do that makeover on me you’ve always wanted to do?”
“Really?”
Millicent nodded.
“Okay,” I said. The tears started up again. “That will be fun.”
Millie never let me do a makeover on her before, no matter how much I begged. And now she was asking for one? I knew why. It was because she’s my best friend in the entire world. After almost an hour, I told Millie to face the mirror. It wasn’t quite like Marieke’s Makeover Madness, but Millicent did look pretty good, and even said so herself.
As Millie was admiring herself in the mirror, Alice came back. She had pulled herself together.
“Just checking to see how you’re doing,” she said.
“I’m fine, Alice, okay?”
She looked at Millicent, who was still staring at the mirror and making scowling faces like a model. “Interesting,” Alice murmured.
“Alice, please.” I hoped she wouldn’t embarrass Millie.
“It’s not how you look that’s important, it’s how you feel,” Millie announced. “And I feel great.”
“It’s not how you look …” Alice repeated as she left.
As I packed my bag for a sleepover at Millie’s, I looked around the room at all the things you got for me this summer. Well, you didn’t really get them for me, I just pretended that you did. I’m sorry about the purses. I’ll pay you back somehow. You once told me that the credit card was for little things and emergencies. I guess at the time, getting those purses was an emergency.
Now, I realize I couldn’t be the person Julie wanted me to be, any more than you could be the person I wished you were. Because as hard as it is to change yourself, it’s even harder to change someone else.
When I walked into the living room, I was surprised to find Millie talking to a stranger. As I got closer, I realized who it was. It was my mother, not Alice the hippie, or whoever she’s been this summer, and she was wearing her favorite gray tracksuit and beat-up sneakers.
“I was a terrible hippie,” Alice said to me.
“Yes, but you’re not a bad mom,” I told her.
“Are you okay, Emily?”
Was I okay?
“I’m fine.” I kissed her cheek. “Are you okay?”
“I will be,” she said.
“Me too,” I answered. And for the first time all summer, I really felt like I would be.
Emily
AUGUST 30
Dear Diary,
Starting today, this journal is no longer addressed to my father. That’s because I’ve decided not to send it to him. He wouldn’t be interested. So instead, from this day forward, it will be addressed to Dear Diary.
Dear Diary,
Today, Millie and I stopped to visit Maddie. Her house was practically empty since she’s leaving for England in two days. Julius was resting in the middle of the living room. He was wearing a Lakers cap.
“The cap was a gift from a good friend,” Maddie explained. “Now, ladies, how about some cookies and lemonade? Cookies and lemonade should always be the last thing you pack, just in case some VIPs drop by.”
“I’ll get it,” Millie offered.
As she disappeared into the kitchen, I set down my backpack and turned to Maddie. “Remember when you read my tea leaves? What did it mean, when you said it was up to me to decide where my journey would take me?”
“Sometimes we have no choice in what happens to us,” Maddie said, putting the Lakers cap on my head. “Other times we can guide our futures, or at least help them along. Like with feng shui, this ancient Chinese practice gives people the opportunity to flourish. Stagnant water grows moss, free-flowing rivers move forward. You can’t be lost if you know where you are.”
“Maddie,” I said solemnly, “I have no clue what you are talking about.”
&nbs
p; “Half the time I don’t either, but it sure sounds good, doesn’t it?”
She took my hand in hers. “Oh! You’ve drawn another cute face,” she said. I blushed. Maddie opened my palm and traced the lines on my hand with her finger. “Emily, you’re almost home. Keep moving forward and you’ll eventually find your way.”
“How will I know when I’m there?”
“You’ll know.”
“And then my journey will be over?”
Maddie laughed and gave me a hug. “If you’re lucky your journey will never be over. But whether you enjoy it is up to you.”
“How did you get so wise, Maddie?”
She leaned in and whispered softly, “Vitamins.”
After finishing off the last cookie, I gave Julius his Lakers cap back.
“Are you going to miss Maddie?” I asked Millie as we headed to her house.
“I already do,” she said.
When we were in her room I pulled my Elmo tape recorder out of my backpack. “This should cheer you up,” I said. “It’s my dad.”
“Your dad is a plastic Elmo?”
“No! My dad is on the tape recorder. Listen, this is him singing when I was little.” I played “The Emily Song.” “He wrote that especially for me.”
“He has a good voice. What’s on the rest of the tape?”
“Nothing, just me trying to talk when I was little. I only listen to my dad’s song. It’s all I have left of him.”
Millicent groaned. “You’re quite the drama queen, Emily!”
That made me smile. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“I want to hear baby Emmie!” Millie said as she grabbed Elmo and pressed play. We howled at my baby babble. I was amazed that I ever sounded like that.
“You have no problem talking now,” Millicent assured me.
I threw a pillow at her, then continued reading my Archie as we listened to my gibberish. Finally the babbling stopped. I picked up the tape recorder to rewind it, but before I could hit the off button, a new voice came on.
“Hi, little sweetheart. You’re taking a nap right now. I hope you’re having sweet dreams.” It was Alice. “I love you so much. I want you know that I will always be here for you, no matter what. That’s a promise.”
Why had I never heard that before?
“She’s so nice,” Millie noted. “So are you, except for … never mind.”
