Wade never let go of her hand. To be honest, she didn’t want him to. There were moments when he would look at her and she’d swear he was going to pull her into his arms…except, he didn’t. He’d place a little bit of distance between them, a smile on his face, and pretend the ribbons of passion that continued to pull at them didn’t exist.
She could feel them. Every time they touched, there was a spark. Every time their gazes connected, there was a sense of rightness.
To say she was frustrated was an understatement.
To admit she was more than a little bit confused…well, truth be told, she was more than just a little confused.
This was going to be the last day she spent with him, the last day of this between them before she went back home, so why in-all-that-was-holy-and-right did she want to do anything but leave?
She wanted to stay.
She wanted to tell him how she felt.
She wanted to pull him close and kiss him, for once, just to know what it would be like to taste him.
Except she couldn’t and wouldn’t and no-way-in-h-e-double-hockey-sticks could she make that kind of first move.
“Everything okay?” Wade pulled her close, just like she’d been imagining, and looked deep into her eyes. They’d slowed down, but continued to move forward, with him skating backward, facing her.
“Just…wishing…” Her gaze drifted to his lips. The sound of his chuckle had her dragging her eyes from those irresistible lips to his eyes, which danced with glee.
“Anything I can help with?” His smile deepened as he pulled her even closer.
It would be so easy just to lean forward and lift herself up just enough to place her lips on his. So easy.
Until she heard the laughter around them, children noticing their closeness and giggling as kids were wont to do.
“Maybe another time, then?” Wade winked before dropping her hands and chasing after one of the little boys who made kissing sounds at them.
Leah laughed. She couldn’t help it. Being back in skates felt good, she wasn’t going to deny that. As a little girl, she dreamed of being a figure skater. It was one of the many things she’d dreamed of being until reality hit hard once her parents died.
“Confession time.” Wade skated back to her side. “How many times have you put on skates since leaving Marietta?”
“Not enough,” Leah confessed. She’d thought about it many times, but her schedule didn’t really allow it. She lived in California because it was where the headquarters of KIND was. She shared an apartment with another employee of the charity because she was on the road more than she was home and when she did have time off, she was either back here visiting Grams and her brother or she was lying on the beach, recuperating from her latest trip.
For the next hour, Leah reveled in the feel of the ice beneath her feet, the wind in her hair, and the burn on her cheeks. She didn’t stop once; not because she didn’t want to, but because the lake was getting full of other skaters and she wasn’t quite ready to make conversation with anyone.
That all changed when she noticed Wade sitting on the sidelines. He was having an intense conversation with someone who was gesturing wildly with their hands. Leah couldn’t make out who he was talking to, but the moment she stopped in front of him and heard the voice, she knew.
Wade gave her a shake of his head. She was about to skate away when Ethel Campton turned and pointed a finger at her.
“You.”
“Mrs. Campton.” Leah attempted to give her old fourth-grade teacher a smile, but faltered at the look of scorn on the woman’s face.
“Don’t you Mrs. Campton me, young lady. I read what you said in the paper and I’m disgusted. Disgusted.” She wagged her finger at Leah with fury. “Why are you even here if you hate this town so much?”
Leah froze. Any words she’d wanted to say were stuck; they wouldn’t form even if she’d wanted them to. She was hit with a sudden chill and it wrapped itself around her body, leaving her shivering.
“I wouldn’t be believing everything you read in those papers, Mrs. Campton.” Wade came to her defense. He held out his hand for her to take, but she couldn’t.
She honestly couldn’t move.
The condemnation, the judgement, and the outright anger in her old teacher’s voice shocked her.
She’d expected people to be unhappy with her. She’d expected them to be upset with her.
But she hadn’t been prepared for this.
“I’m sorry.” If ever two words had seemed inadequate, it was those. She just didn’t know what else to say.
“Harrumph.” Mrs. Campton’s lips thinned, and Leah could tell right away the apology wasn’t enough.
“I love Marietta, I really do,” Leah pleaded, needing to be believed.
“You could have fooled me. It was one thing for you to move away, but you work with that charity and kids need to spread their wings.” Mrs. Campton breathed in deep and let out a long, long sigh. “But to turn your back on the town that basically raised you after your poor parents were killed…that hurts, Leah Morgan. It hurts a lot.”
“I never meant for that to happen. It’s not how I feel and—”
“But you said it, did you not?” Mrs. Campton interrupted her before she turned to Wade. “I don’t believe everything I read, but if she said it…”
“I said it.” Leah owned up to it. It didn’t matter how it came out; it didn’t matter that it was taken out of context and that the editing made it sound worse than it was. She’d said it, and that was all Mrs. Campton…all of Marietta…cared about.
Her admission seemed to stop Mrs. Campton short.
“Then…then why are you here? Why did you come back to a place that used to be your home?”
Leah caught the emphasis on used to be.
“It still is.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” Mrs. Campton crossed her arms, not giving Leah an inch.
Wade’s hand was still outstretched and Leah finally took it, accepting his help off the lake and to the bench where her boots waited for her.
Her toes were now frozen along with the rest of her, and she wasn’t sure if her hands shook from the cold or from the shock of Mrs. Campton’s words as she untied her skate laces.
“I understand why you’re upset.” Leah licked her cracked lips. “I’d like to attempt to explain.”
“No,” Wade spoke up. “You don’t need to explain. People should know you better. They do know you better.” The muscle in his tight jaw clenched as he stuck his fisted hands into his jacket pockets. “They should believe in what they know, not what they read.”
“Wade.” Leah reached out to stop him.
“Well, I’ll…” Mrs. Campton held her hands up to her chest.
“What about giving her the benefit of doubt?” Wade continued as if neither she nor her old teacher had spoken. “Is it too much to ask that you put your faith in someone you know rather than those gossip magazines that only hype things up for sales?” He rubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration, and it did Leah’s heart a world of good to see him stand up for her.
But she didn’t need him to.
“Mrs. Campton.” Leah stood. “You deserve an explanation.” She pushed past the lump that was stuck in her throat. “In fact, the whole town deserves an explanation. But I don’t have one. I wish I did. All I have is an apology. It’s hard to fight against something everyone can read and hear on their own, and no matter what I say or how much I try to explain…” She dropped back down onto the bench. “I don’t think it’ll matter.”
“The truth always matters,” Mrs. Campton said, surprising Leah.
She looked up, searching the older woman’s eyes. “The truth is, I said a lot of things I regret. The show I was on edited them to make them sound worse than they were, but, regardless, I still said the words. My heart…” She looked toward Wade before looking away again. “My heart was broken, and I lashed out.”
“That�
�s not the whole truth,” Wade added.
Leah closed her eyes at his words. No, it wasn’t the whole truth, but it was the only truth that mattered right now. Nothing she said or did would ever truly explain what happened or even excuse it. She needed to make peace with that.
Just like she had to make peace with the fact there was no future for her and Wade. Not together, at least.
“It’s the only one that matters.”
Mrs. Campton stepped toward her and reached for her hands. Her expression softened as she did so.
“I’m sorry, Leah. Your young man is right. I do know you better, and I should have had more faith in you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Leah accepted the apology although there was no need for it. “You were thinking what everyone else is thinking, and it’s okay.” She looked at their joined hands and appreciated the gesture.
“Leah…”
She looked toward Wade and could read on his face what he was asking. Was she okay?
Honestly? No. She just wanted to go home.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Campton, that I’ve disappointed you and let you down—that I’ve let Marietta down.” She withdrew her hands and stuffed her feet into the yellow rain boots.
Why had she thought running home to Marietta would be okay? That it would be a safe place? She should have known better. Should have realized word would spread and people would believe whatever they wanted to believe, or in this case, read.
“Wade, I…can you drive me back to my brother’s, please? I should probably start packing.” She smoothed her coat as she stood and gathered her skates, tying the laces together.
Wade took them from her and slung them over his shoulder, along with his own.
“So you are leaving.” There was a pained look in his eye that made Leah feel as if she’d betrayed him.
“Leah, dear.” Mrs. Campton stopped her. “I am sorry.”
Feeling as if the fiber of her core, who she was, who she thought she could be, was unraveling, Leah forced a smile on her face and thought back to when she was mourning the loss of her parents and how Mrs. Campton had been there for her, giving her a hug when she needed one, how she would pass along books she’d bought and thought Leah might like to read…she remembered the love she’d received and knew Mrs. Campton had absolutely nothing to apologize for.
“I’m the one who is sorry. But I will make it up to you and to Marietta. I don’t know how but…” Without thinking, she rushed over to the woman who had shown her more love than she’d deserved and gave her a hug. “You have always been someone I’ve looked up to, someone I wanted to be like, and knowing I’ve disappointed you…I will make it up to you. I promise.” She wiped away the tears that threatened to blur her vision, not caring if anyone noticed, and then rushed back toward Wade’s truck.
The drive back to Dylan’s home was a quiet one. Wade barely looked at her the whole ride home.
“Thanks for bringing me skating,” Leah said quietly to break the silence. “It’s been too long since I’ve been on skates.”
“If you stay, we could go skating again.”
Leah noted Wade’s tight grip on the steering wheel and the way he kept his focus straight ahead. “Maybe next time I come back,” she offered.
He pulled up outside Dylan’s house and turned the truck off.
“Do you need a ride to the airport tomorrow?” He angled toward her, his one arm resting on the back of the seats.
She heard the wistfulness in his voice, the regret of something not there, and it hurt. Her bruised heart couldn’t take anymore. She couldn’t pretend that things were the same between them, because they weren’t.
Things hadn’t been the same since she’d told him she hoped that she wasn’t too late, that she was in love with him, and, after a lengthy pause, he’d said goodbye.
There was no going back from that. No matter how much she wished it.
“Dylan’s giving me a ride.” She reached for the handle and pushed the door open.
“Leah…” Wade’s voice stopped her. “What’s happened between us?” He rubbed the back of his neck and frowned. “I thought you were planning on moving back, that you were ready to come home…back to Marietta. But now when you say home, I know you’re talking about California. What happened? What changed? Was it something I did or didn’t do? Did I give you too much space? Is it all this nonsense with Charmed and—”
“Wade.” Leah let all the hurt that swirled inside of her from today be heard in her voice. She hopped out of the truck and gripped the door until it dug into her palm. “Things changed; it happens and you gotta roll with it. Isn’t that what you always say? Marietta isn’t my home, not anymore, and you…” She looked away and blinked her eyes really hard to stop the tears. “What happened is my fault.” It was hard to admit that, but it was time to accept the truth. “I took you for granted, and I thought you’d always be there. I’m not sure if I can go back to what we had.”
Her voice cracked from the tears she tried so hard to push away. She turned before he could say anything, before she made even more of a fool of herself, and closed the door behind her.
She heard him calling for her, but she wouldn’t turn; she couldn’t. Maybe she was being a chicken, taking the easy way out, not talking this through with Wade…and if so, that was fine.
She’d told him she loved him and he made it very clear he didn’t return her feelings, not anymore.
The last thing she wanted to hear was an explanation why. She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes, hear the apology in his voice, or feel what it meant to have her heart crushed all over again.
She would leave tomorrow and figure out a way to live her life without Wade in it. She had to.
Chapter Twelve
Leah’s cheeks flamed as she sank down in a corner chair, a mug of hot tea in her hand.
“Are you going to tell me what happened today?” Dylan sat on the couch on the other side of the room. He set the book he’d been reading beside him and studied her.
Leah buried her nose in her mug, breathing in the sweet aroma and let her scraggly hair hang over her face. She was a mess. The backside of her pants was damp from falling a few times on the ice, her hair in disarray. She couldn’t stop shaking, and it wasn’t from the cold.
The weight of everything hit her the moment she stepped into Dylan’s house and closed the door behind her. She stood there, eyes clenched shut, until the sound of Wade’s truck drove away. The moment she could no longer hear the truck, the splintered pieces of her heart, the ones she’d thought she’d glued back together, fell apart.
He was gone.
“Where do you want me to start? The talking to I got from Grams? The phone call from Betsy? The whispers at the lake? Or when Mrs. Campton told me how disappointed in me she was?” She was so ready to leave, to head back to her cozy little apartment where there was no snow, no cold, and no Wade.
“How about you start with Wade driving away and you crying at my front door?” Dylan gave the appearance of being calm, relaxed, and casual, but his fingers drummed on his knee which was a dead giveaway that he was more than just a little bothered.
He never did like to see her cry. It always stressed him out, even when they were kids.
“What did he say to you?” The speed of his drumming increased.
“It wasn’t so much what he said but what he didn’t say. Or maybe what I didn’t say.” Leah rubbed her hand over her face. “Gah, I don’t know…it’s just not the same anymore, Dylan. I…” She could feel the tears coming back, and neither of them wanted that. “I waited too long, I expected too much, and I was too late.”
“Too late for what? For Wade? That man will wait forever for you, and you know it.”
She took a sip of her tea and made a wish as she inhaled.
She wished forever was still possible, even when she knew forever was in the past.
“I wish that were true, Dylan, I really do. But when I told him I loved hi
m, he literally gave me the brush off.”
“He what?” Dylan sat on the edge of the couch and looked at her in surprise. “I find it hard to believe he would do that.”
“Once upon a time, I would have thought the same thing. Karma sucks. I took Wade for granted, I thought he’d be there for me, waiting until I was ready, but I was wrong.” Leah set her tea down on the coffee table and sank down in the chair until her head rested comfortably against the back of it. Her legs were pulled up and off to the side and if it weren’t for the hot bath calling her name, she would close her eyes and sleep for a few minutes.
“Have you talked to him about it since being home?” Dylan asked.
She shook her head. “It’s the elephant in the room between us. He probably doesn’t want to embarrass me, and I don’t need a reminder of what I’ve lost.”
Dylan pushed himself up from the couch and held out his hand to her. “I think you’re blind and making the situation more than it is. Talk to him, but after you have that bath. I hate seeing you shiver.”
She let herself be pulled up and then into a big bear hug.
“You’re both too stubborn for your own good,” he muttered before releasing her.
“Not stubborn.” She felt the sadness of the situation seep in. “Just…facing reality, I guess.” She took his advice and headed toward the stairs. A hot bath in that large claw-foot tub was exactly what she needed.
“It’s no different than with you and Casey. When was the last time you talked with her?” Leah said over her shoulder.
Casey Michaels had been—still was—Dylan’s soul mate. She knew it. He knew it. Heck, everyone in Marietta knew it…almost like they knew her and Wade were meant to be together.
Except, just like her and Wade, it was never the right time.
“That’s different and you know it.” The lines on his forehead deepened at the mention of Casey’s name. “I talked with her a few months ago, I think.”
“Guess being stubborn runs in the family, huh?” Leah marched up the stairs and didn’t bother to wait around for him to reply.
Charmed by Chocolate (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 6) Page 10
