“This limits our options,” Rhys began. “If you think the truth shouldn’t come out—”
“I never said the truth shouldn’t come out,” Simon interrupted.
Rhys drew back in surprise. “But it will taint your family name as much as it will mine.”
Simon shrugged, though Rhys could see he felt none of the nonchalance such an action implied. “My father has done things that one day I’ll share but are currently too raw for me to discuss. And I’m not opposed to telling the world the truth about his character, especially if it would protect you from greater pain. But I do think we shouldn’t be hasty in this, Rhys. We aren’t completely certain it is Warren who is behind this. I think we should obtain all the information before we decide what to do.”
“You’re correct, of course,” Rhys said softly. “And I appreciate your willingness to sacrifice yourself for me if it comes to that. I’m not sure I deserve the consideration.”
Simon came around the desk slowly. He looked at Rhys, and although his friend knew the truth, there was nothing different in his stare. Except that perhaps there was a greater connection between them now. One of family, not just friendship.
“Rhys, long before I discovered you were related to me by blood, you were my brother.”
Rhys caught his breath, stunned once more by the kindness he had found in this man. “Thank you for that. And for standing beside me, even at my worst.”
Simon smiled as he clapped a hand on Rhys’s shoulder. “You know, I think Anne would do that, too.”
Rhys moved away from the comforting touch of his brother. He hated that they had come full circle to his wife. He didn’t want to hold out hope for a future with her. He didn’t deserve it and he couldn’t hope for it with so much uncertainty.
“I know she would,” he said softly. “And that is why I must let her go.”
Anne sat on the comfortable settee that faced the crackling fire, which pushed away the damp coolness the storm had brought outside. Lillian had a chair to her left, and the two women fidgeted in utter silence as the clock ticked loudly on the mantel. Click, click, click echoed in Anne’s head until she wanted to scream.
Suddenly Lillian pushed to her feet. “Whiskey?” she asked.
Anne stared, but found herself bursting out, “Great God, yes.”
The other woman laughed as she crossed the room, and suddenly the tension that had coursed between them since Rhys and Simon’s departure melted away. When Anne took the drink her friend offered, she smiled, and it was a true expression no longer tightened by anxiety.
Lillian retook her place. Once the other woman was settled, Anne looked at her closely.
“May I ask you a question?”
Lillian took a sip of her drink before she nodded. “Of course. I hope we’ll one day be as close as our husbands are. I’ve always believed true friends can speak of anything to each other.”
Warmth filled Anne at the idea that she and Lillian would one day be as close as sisters, but could that ever be true? If Rhys succeeded in ending their marriage, she had no doubt Simon and Lillian would keep a stronger friendship with him than with her. It was simply inevitable. The very thought had her downing half her drink in one heated gulp, but she steeled herself and continued.
“You know this thing…this truth that torments Rhys, don’t you?”
Lillian choked on her most recent sip of whiskey, coughing as she searched for a handkerchief in her pelisse pocket. Finally she regained her composure and dabbed her lips.
“I didn’t expect you to be so direct,” she said, though there was no censure or upset in her stare. Actually Lillian’s frank gaze seemed to hold even more respect for Anne.
“Well, I can be direct when the situation warrants it,” Anne said, setting her drink aside and leaning back to look evenly at Lillian. “And this is the most dire set of circumstances I’ve ever faced. If I don’t ask the questions that plague me, I’ll surely regret it later.”
Lillian nodded slowly. “I’m far too familiar with the concept of regret, so I understand.”
Anne wrinkled her brow. She could hardly picture Lillian as a person who harbored such feelings, but she put that aside as she asked, “Then will you answer me?”
There was a brief hesitation before Lillian nodded a second time. “Yes, Anne. I do know the truth, but I don’t feel comfortable being the one to reveal it to you. As much as I believe you deserve to know, it isn’t my place.”
Anne rested her head against the soft chair cushion with a sigh. Of course Lillian wouldn’t tell her what was really happening. Like Simon, she wished to protect Rhys’s privacy…even from his own wife.
“I’m sorry,” Lillian offered softly.
“You shouldn’t be the one who is sorry,” Anne responded as she finished her drink and held out her glass for another. “You’re perfectly correct that it’s my husband who should tell me the truth, though he seems determined not to do so.”
Lillian was silent as she poured liquor into Anne’s tumbler. It wasn’t until she set the decanter aside that she asked, “Does it anger you that I know the truth and you don’t?”
Anne pondered the question. Finally she shook her head slowly.
“Anger isn’t the proper word for what I feel, I don’t think. I am frustrated because it seems everyone is aware of what has caused all this pain and upset except for me. But my life is just as affected as anyone’s…in fact, more than anyone else’s will be, especially if Rhys goes through with his plans to abandon our marriage.”
Lillian leaned toward her with a horrified gasp. “Abandon your marriage? You cannot be serious.”
“I’m afraid I’m very serious,” Anne said softly, though she kept her gaze from Lillian’s as embarrassed heat flooded her cheeks. This was the second time she’d revealed her humiliating future to someone today, and each time it seemed to grow more difficult. How would she ever face the public if Rhys truly did leave her?
“He is an idiot,” Lillian said with a shake of her head.
Anne shrugged. “Well, I thank you for that.”
“And you’ve told him you don’t wish for this?” Lillian stared at her.
“It seems my feelings on the subject mean very little to him,” Anne said with a deeper blush. “Even his own heart seems to have no bearing on his decision. When we were in the countryside, I saw him changing as a person. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking, but I believe we bonded closer than ever before. I thought there might be a chance for us after all. But now that we’ve returned to London, he pulls away again. He’s already separating from me, and I have no idea of how to bring him back.”
Lillian moved closer, taking a place on the settee beside her. Her arm came around Anne and she hugged her gently.
“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry. I had no idea the situation was so grim. I cannot imagine your pain.”
Anne rested her head on Lillian’s shoulder briefly, allowing herself to be comforted, though it wasn’t Lillian’s comfort or even Mally’s that she desired. It was Rhys who she wished for.
But those wishes weren’t to be, it seemed.
“I’m certain you cannot imagine what I am enduring,” she said, straightening up from Lillian’s embrace after a moment and turning slightly to face her. “Simon loves you. Even if I didn’t know him so well, even if he didn’t say it, one can see it from the glow within him. Every time he speaks your name, it’s like a candle has been lit inside him. I envy you both for how easy your love seems to come to you.”
Lillian dipped her chin with a happy blush, but when her gaze came up it was troubled and serious. “I’m very lucky in that, Anne, but the ease you see now hasn’t always existed. I sometimes haven’t deserved his love. I even tried to push it away, just as Rhys pushes at yours.”
Anne tilted her head, not understanding. She’d known Lillian was a little hesitant in the weeks leading up to their wedding, but she never would have guessed the other woman was actively trying to avoid a connection
with the man she so clearly loved.
“But, my dear,” Lillian continued, taking both of Anne’s hands. “I’m so very lucky that Simon fought for my love, regardless of what I said, or even what I did. He fought for me because he loved me, just as you love Rhys.”
Anne flinched, but didn’t draw away. “Am I so obvious?”
Lillian smiled, warm and genuine. “I’m afraid you are, but only to a friend.”
Words of contradiction died on her lips as she looked at Lillian. There was no use pretending, not if the other woman could see her heart so clearly. And honestly, Anne was tired of denying her feelings. Tired of pretending for the sake of propriety or the comfort of everyone else around her.
Finally Anne shrugged. “I’ve loved Rhys Carlisle for as long as I can remember. Those feelings are simply a part of the fabric of who I am, as much as my hair color or my eyes. I don’t know what I would be without that.”
Lillian cocked her head slightly. “And now it’s my turn to ask an uncomfortable question.”
Anne laughed despite herself. “It seems to be the day for them. What is it?”
“Today Rhys was kind to me and I sensed the beginnings of the shift in him that you mentioned,” Lillian began. “But…but he has not always been so. His reputation is well-known and he is often feared, even hated. But you’re so different, with none of his snobbery. Even before I met you, I’d heard the rumors of your compassion and your acts of kindness toward those around you. So I must know…why do you love him when on the surface you seem so very different?”
Anne dipped her chin and looked at her clenched fingers on her lap. “You aren’t the first person to comment upon our match, to mention that I’m more accepting and ask if I could be happy with someone so hard. But you see, I’ve always seen something more in Rhys. I have always known it was there, hiding…perhaps being protected by that cold shell he presents to the world. I believe…no, I know he has a capacity for true nobility beyond his rank, beyond the blood and family history he holds in such high regard.”
Lillian nodded, but Anne could see she remained incredulous and was driven to continue, not only to defend Rhys, but to offer some explanation of herself so Lillian wouldn’t think her foolish.
“We were betrothed when I was still in the cradle, though we didn’t meet until I was six.” Anne smiled at the memory, thinking back to that sun-kissed day that had stayed with her forever.
Lillian drew back with wide eyes. “You were matched very young.”
Anne nodded. “Our fathers were friends and had always planned such a thing. It did frighten me a little to know my future was already planned. But the idea also intrigued me, even then. The first time I met him, Rhys came to my rescue, and from that day on I found myself observing him very closely whenever we met. As a child, he was open and friendly. He had a great capacity for kindness and often protected others who he felt were weaker. It was only over the span of years that I watched him change, both for the good and for the bad, and become the man who would be my husband.”
Lillian tilted her head. “What a strange experience that must have been.”
Anne laughed. “At times it was very odd indeed. But I think it also gave me a deeper understanding of Rhys. I saw things others might not have noticed because my attention was fixed on him in such a different manner. Yes, he is a hard man. He was trained to be that way by…” She shivered as she thought Rhys’s late father. “Well, the last Duke of Waverly was not always a kind person, and he was the one who taught Rhys that he was better than anyone else around him. He told him that title and blood were the only important concepts when one looked at someone new.”
Lillian frowned, and Anne couldn’t blame her. Those very concepts had kept Lillian at the mercy of the ton and almost made her an old maid. It was no wonder Rhys and Lillian hadn’t gotten along, though Anne had been moved to see Rhys try to make amends for his actions today.
“Still,” Anne continued softly, “even as Rhys accepted that concept that he was better or more deserving, I still saw flashes of goodness in him. His friendship with Simon, which was so close and loyal, was one thing that gave me hope about his true heart. His warmth to his mother and sisters was another. And as for me…”
She trailed off as a long string of memories flashed through her mind. From the first time he’d kissed her hand, to the way they danced together with such ease, to all the moments they had shared while sequestered away since their marriage.
“He may not have always been loving, but he was never cruel,” she whispered. “I know it’s hard to see, but there is a man inside of Rhys who is worthy of love. Of saving. I believe that with all my heart, with all my soul.”
As the words died on her tongue, Anne realized that at some point she had risen to her feet and now stood, fist clenched over her heart. Heat filled her cheeks at the passionate display she hadn’t been able to control, and she sank back into her chair and kept her gaze slightly away from Lillian.
But instead of judging or denying what Anne had said to be true, Lillian reached out and gently covered Anne’s hand with her own. When Anne glanced at her, it was to find a soft and friendly smile on the other woman’s face, one without pity or even doubt.
“You are a very good woman, Anne Carlisle,” she said softly.
“Either that or entirely foolish,” Anne said with a nervous laugh.
Lillian shook her head. “I don’t think so. But if you’ve loved him all your life, you must have pictured your life with him for an equal amount of time.”
Anne nodded slowly. “I have indeed. I had such hopes—” She cut herself off, unwilling to ponder the details of what she had once desired and now feared was lost to her forever. “But that long-imagined future seems to be slipping away.”
Lillian’s fingers closed around Anne’s upper arms and she squeezed gently. “Fight for it while you still can, Anne! I cannot believe I’m saying this, but fight for him. If you don’t, you’ll live with regrets, and as I said, I have some experience with that. It isn’t for you.” She smiled as she released Anne. “I only hope Rhys will one day recognize how lucky he is to have a wife with your heart and passion. And that he’ll endeavor to deserve your love and loyalty once you win this battle.”
Anne tilted her head. She could well imagine how difficult it was for Lillian to say those words when Rhys had recently been so unkind to her. But that fact somehow gave her order more power. Lillian was telling her to love Rhys, not allow him to let go, even though Lillian didn’t approve or even believe that Anne’s thoughts about his good qualities could be true.
“Thank you,” Anne whispered. “Thank you for offering me your friendship so willingly.”
“You deserve it and so much more,” Lillian said with an open and warm smile that touched Anne to her very core.
Before she could respond, the door to the parlor opened. As she and Lillian rose, Simon stepped inside with Rhys at his heels. From the taut expressions on the faces of the men, it was clear they had been having as intense a conversation as Lillian and Anne had shared.
“There you are,” Lillian said with a smile and a light laugh as she crossed the room to her husband. Her expression was purposefully blank, but Anne noticed that when she took Simon’s hand she squeezed ever-so-gently in what was an obvious gesture of comfort.
Anne turned her gaze on Rhys. He appeared tired, rung out as if he had been twisted in knots during the time they were apart. She couldn’t help herself, she crossed to him and stopped just before him. He stared down at her, looking at her face with a dazed intensity she’d never seen before.
Reaching out, she gently touched his hand, letting her fingers glide down the shape of it softly, but she said nothing. She could only pray he would feel her reassurance and that it would help him.
“Will you stay for supper?” Lillian asked.
Anne shook her head, the spell that had kept her eyes on Rhys suddenly broken by the interruption. She turned to face their hosts, but i
t was Rhys who answered.
“Thank you for the offer, but it’s been a long day of travel. I think it would be best if we returned home.”
“Perhaps another night,” Anne offered.
Rhys’s gaze shot to her and her heart dropped into her stomach. His expression clearly stated that there would be no other nights. Whatever he’d said to Simon, it hadn’t changed his mind about leaving her.
They said their good-byes as Simon and Lillian led them to the foyer and watched them go to their carriage that was parked on the drive. The sun was setting, and as the door closed, only a dim light pierced the vehicle.
But even with little illumination, Anne could see clearly. She saw Rhys’s pain. She saw his determination. And she saw that Lillian was right. It was time to make another stand in defense of her future, of her marriage, and of her love for Rhys.
It might be her last chance.
Chapter 15 Rhys paced the length of his office, restlessness plaguing him while the clock steadily ticked away the night. He’d been alone for the last two hours. Anne had said her good-nights just after a late supper and gone upstairs to her chamber.
He would never admit it out loud, but he missed her. Actually it went deeper than that. He longed for his wife. He ached for her touch, for her smile, for all the ways she’d comforted and aided him during their time alone in the countryside.
But he had sensed a shift in her today, both during and after their visit with Simon and Lillian. Anne seemed tense, distant, and distracted on the way home, barely speaking and never asking him what he and Simon talked about, although he was certain her questions lingered.
Once they arrived home, she had been nervous, only picking at her food and hardly engaging in conversation until she finally abandoned him for her bed.
The change was perfectly logical, of course. Rhys had made it more than clear that their marriage would soon end. Perhaps she was finally accepting that fact, surrendering to it. She might simply be attempting to make the ultimate end of them a little less awkward and painful.
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