"Harder… God yes, Cal!" She cries.
I know she is close so I pull in deep and hover over her back so she can hear me. "Play with your clit Jen, come for me."
I feel her hand between her legs, her fingers brushing my balls as I bang into her. "I am so fuckin close Jen. I am gonna come so hard."
Her scream of pleasure and her pussy clamping down on me told me she came, the flood of hot wet perfection was the second clue. She perched up on her elbows and looked over her shoulder at me. "Own it Caly."
"Oh. Fuck. Yes." I spoke through clenched teeth and forced myself to stop long enough to get her ass wet enough to take my fingers as I fucked her. I fingered her, drew her orgasm up and played between both until she was coming again and I couldn’t wait. "I need to see you." I say and I don't know why, I just do. I want no thoughts, nothing to interrupt this.
It is the first time in six weeks I haven't felt empty.
"Let me…" She says and has me sit in the chair, then straddles me. She strokes my dick along her pussy over and over again until I am ready to say fuck it and give a surprise ending to this show. But she slipped forward on me, leaned back, adjusted us both and then I felt it all as she encased me fully in her tight little pussy.
Here… here I knew who I was inside of with a clarity I haven't ever felt. This was a primal trust and she was getting off on it as hard as I was. "Is it good Cal?"
"God… fuck…" I don't know how, or why or what triggered the breaking point in me. But everything broke and I started to cry. I was ashamed but couldn’t stop the moving train of bullshit inside of me, and it made me want her more.
"Sssh baby…" She said and pulled me to her chest, riding me, loving me? How we both needed maybe? I don't know why I needed this, but I did. Tay had broken me with her infidelity, and Jen was doing as I asked. She wasn't fixing me, but she was healing me. I couldn’t stop the tears, or the need to take her deeper and longer, but she was right there with me through every tear and every moan. "Let me love you Cal." She spoke against my temple as she placed kisses on my face.
"I am so sorry…" I cried and I meant for this moment of true sadness and need, but for it all. For using her, hurting her, judging her. I had done my part in the ruin of Jenny Pope, but here maybe I was healing her too. "What are you doing to me?"
I ask it through wet eyes and a sadness and need so profound they fee one another. "I am being me and you are you baby." She says and kisses me again. I am on an endless reel of years with her in my bed, in my friends beds. Here and now, I hate that I used her knowing she might very well be what fixed a ruined part of me.
"So sorry…" I cry and shame or fear were not welcome here.
She shook her head no and leaned back, riding me. She took my hand into hers and kissed my fingertips before guiding me over her body, first her breasts and then to her stomach… along the scar our son's birth gave her. Something so special and profound I missed and see the evidence of who we really are, in that scar. She then takes me to where we joined. Where we touched her together. "We are all that's here. No sorry's Cal, just feel it."
I watched her, through wet eyes as she got off on riding both my dick and my hand and felt it to my bones. No it wasn't love, or seduction. This was being there for someone regardless of history or resentments. I asked her to fix me, and she was as best she could the only way she knew how.
I wasn't ending this with tears though. I stood, still inside her and laid her down on the floor, and released on her my full need. "Legs up high Jen." I say and watch her place her feet on my shoulders. She is open to me fully and I want to come inside her, overwhelmed with the need to. And that shit ain't happenin'.
I lick my thumb and go down with it on her clit, needing her to come as I come. "Oh, fuuuuck!" I groan and pull out at the last minute as she comes against my hand and I spill my seed across her stomach.
I fall back against the chair, one of my legs perched up with my arm on it, the other lays stretched out beside her and she is still spread before me. We are both breathing heavy and she starts to giggle which makes me laugh. "Jesus Jen, that was so fuckin good."
"Yeah it was ." She agrees and we lay there, until I see her start to shiver. I don't know why, I really don't know why I did this, but it seemed natural and I went with it. I lay beside her until she was curled into me, topless because her shirt became the tool in which we cleaned up. I kiss her temple and pull her blanket down over us.
"Wanna go inside?" I ask and rub my hand down her arm.
"No, I don't wanna move from this." She says it, but I feel it too.
"I want to go on record with one thing here." I say and I want her to know that this was good, and I definitely feel something. That I won't hide it.
"Is this the 'I am just not emotionally ready' talk? Because if so, I don't need it." She sounds hurt even though I know she would rather spit nails than admit it. Lucky for her it isn't that talk.
"No, it isn't. So tone the bitchy down sweetheart." I say it playfully and thankfully she knew that. "I am most definitely confused on the emotional front because I do love Tay, but hate her equally. The one mistake I made with Tay was fucking. We would fuck in private and did so for a few years until I faced the fact it was more. According to her, it was a little too late and she was already fucking Black when I went and tried winning her back."
She rolls to her back so she can see me. "Holy shit! Really?"
I nod, realizing I haven't spoke to anyone about this. I have said very little since Thanksgiving. "Yeah. They’ve been fucking since a week before I found out about Axe. She says she tried to break it off, but she was drawn to him. She said she loves me, then and now, but too much has happened to move on." I stretch and scrub my face, smelling her on me…does something to me for sure. "Anyway, she wants to be with him. Now, I am just waiting to see what that means for Axe. I can't rip her out of his life to make me feel better, but she hasn’t shown me enough to really want him."
"Yeah, I am over the Tay and Black show. I care about Axe in this. He misses her so much Cal."
I nod in agreement. "He asked if he was gonna see her at Noah's and I had said no. Fuck me… seeing her bring Black was the final straw." I recall her slapping Tay and laugh. "For both of us apparently." I say and she laughs.
"I haven't hit another person ever." She rolls into me, and I to her until we are face to face. "I can't lie, I saw your face when you walked in the door and B-lined to the kitchen. She pandered to Axe for all of five minutes before telling him to go play. The minute she was out of ear shot, I wasn't playing nice."
"The gloves are definitely off all across the board." I say, and hope that whatever happens next doesn’t hurt my boy. I trace her lips with my thumb and lean in kissing her softly. "I don't do emotional shit too easily but I have gotten a little better at expressing myself, and I need to express something." I roll until I am on top of her, her wet against my growing hardness and I know I am gonna get another round.
"Express yourself." She says and laughs at her Madonna reference.
"I like this. I can say that I like you Jen, and I didn't before. That being said I didn't like me before either. I want you here and I want us to see what happens because I am a mess and I love her. I am into you, there is no denying it, but we are and need to always be his parents first. I don't want to confuse him or give him a false sense of hope. I want time… time alone with you to let this become whatever, but also as a family because we all need it. I won't lie to you or hurt you unnecessarily. I have to get over this betrayal to both Axe and I, but I want you with us in whatever fashion you can handle." I kiss her soft again, slide on her because I can't not.
"I don't want to just fuck, so if that's it you need to tell me because I won't do it again. It fucked Tay up and it fucked me up. It's why this all happened, because I was too busy chasing the wrong shit and it was too late by the time I saw the big picture. I can't do it again."
I wait on her response for what feels like forever.<
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She rocks her hips against me and kisses me just as soft. "I want sex, but I want it like this with honesty and friendship and that its okay to know we are feeling it together." She looks at me then and shakes my entire foundation. "I have been in love with you for the better part of a year, so knowing you are even seeing me… Cal I am very much on board."
I can't speak at her words, and she is still moving around making it impossible to not want to fuck her again. "I know it’s a lot, and I know you don't feel it. We have been on separate continents emotionally. I never intended for you to know and I hoped that in time I would move on. It's why Noah helped me to get certified in piercing so I can leave Skin and make more money and be around better people than the dirty guys at Skin."
"What?" I ask and rise up on my hands to look at her fully. "You are gonna be at the PIT?" This has me fucking overjoyed. Watching her come home the last two weeks in that fucking outfit created some intense whacks of my dick. I may not admit that shit to Noah, but hell yes I fantasized.
"Oh shit… Noah." I say and now I know why he was asking me about Jen. "He knows how you feel doesn’t he?" I am not mad or offended by the thought, just it makes sense he would know because they are BFF's and shit.
She nods. "I tell Noah everything."
"Will you tell him about this?" I ask, and shit happens here because I am back inside of her.
"Aaaah… mmmm… yes I will." She says, half moaning as I begin to glide in and out of her.
"You gonna tell him how good I fuck you?" I am only half fucking with her, because I am curious if she will tell him.
"He knows… I've told him that, he's also seen it." She laughs and I laugh. I know it should irritate me that Noah and I have partied with her together, fuck we all shared her. It's so fucked up now, and wrong and I feel like shit about it.
"No more Noah… Feel me, remember me." I say and kiss his name from her fucking memory. This whole time… I thought she loved Noah, I had no clue she was wanting me. I hate the way it fucked us all in that. Maybe I fucked it all up, falling for Tay when I should have been paying attention to the hottest redhead on the planet.
"I only ever felt you." She rolls us until she is riding me and talking has stopped as we get down. I am fully fucking aware I have fucked her twice now without a condom. As much as I love Axe, I am not about to repeat history.
"I need a condom." I say and groan, fuck me she is so tight and hot and wet, fuck so wet.
"I am on birth control and haven't had sex in over a year." Oh fuck my life, I want to so fuckin bad. But this is where shit gets ugly if I let it.
"I have though. I have partied since Tay. With rubbers, I double up that shit…" I just stop talking because she is rolling her hips so fucking good and I am so close and she is sexy as fuck.
"I am gonna come all over your dick Caly, you can come in or out of me once I am done." She tightens on me and cries out, right there and…
"Fuck me, God dammit!" I roar and grab her hips exploding.
Fuck yeah. I did it. I came.
In Jenny Pope.
No condom.
And I am pretty fuckin sure that I am where I need to be. That we all are. This is a mess and its gonna suck at times, but everything tells me in time… In time I will end up here with Jen.
I just need to wait for Jen to write her story… Mine was written and I still lost in love. But here and now?
Here and now I think this is where I was always meant to be.
Stay tuned for Jenny's story coming in 2017 as book One of the PIT series.
Promise Me: The final Encore (TAT: A Rocker Romance #6) Page 5
