by Liz McMullen
The soft smile Rowan gave her made her toes curl—it was sweet and pleasing all at once. Seems like she’d finally done something right by Rowan.
“Would you feel comfortable coming inside? We can still head out to the Haymarket, but it’s a bit chaotic there and I got the feeling you had something you wanted to say to me and I don’t want anyone to interrupt you.” Rowan seemed casual but she had her towel in a death grip.
“Sure, it will probably be easier and harder this way.” Desiree sucked in a deep breath and continued speaking on an exhale. “Can I come in?”
Rowan stepped back, making room for Desiree to walk by. The entranceway was a bit intimate, with room enough only for a clothes tree and a small table with a wooden bowl meant for keys. Rowan smelled delicious, and her slick black hair smelled of dark and spice. The air in the apartment was heavy with a sexy mix of Jodeci and Rowan’s preferred colognes and bath products. She wondered if her pants and G-string would magically come off of their own accord in response to the pheromone smoke signals.
They must have showered back to back. Desiree did not know what was wrong with her because that thought brought up a unique erotic scene of Jodeci and Rowan sharing a shower. She shook her head, but the erotic buzz remained.
“I can grind some beans if you want coffee here instead,” Rowan said mildly, but there was a tightness around her mouth, like she was barely breathing. She looked more nervous than Desiree. Then it struck her: this was another symptom of the uncertainty she had fostered in Rowan.
“Sure. I have to limit myself to a cup, otherwise, you will be scraping me off the ceiling,” Desiree joked.
Rowan looked at her for a long moment, then at the ceiling. “Mama always says to be prepared, so I have the tools should you go into orbit.” She reached up and was able to touch the ceiling without having to fully extend her arm. At six feet, she did it with ease.
Desiree was not surprised.
“Yep, no ladder necessary. If you like I can hook you up with some tea. I even have a fancy-pancy teapot.” Rowan gestured to the short stout teapot, the kind that could put quite the dent in the wallet or a floor if you dropped it. “Jodeci got it as a bonus for Christmas last year.”
Desiree snickered. She never saw that tall drink of water with anything other than full-octane black coffee. “Oh my God, does she stick out her pinky when she drinks it? If so, I demand photographic evidence.” She bounced a bit on the balls of her feet. “Oh, perfect blackmail for Suzie!”
“Sure, I’m going to sell out the person who not only knows where I sleep but has access to my power tools.” Rowan nimbly twisted her long hair into a bun. Her high cheekbones and angular jaw became more pronounced with her hair pulled away from her face. She was striking. Her full lips were almost unfair, and Desiree wished she had them. She drew the line at sucking a shot glass to get the fuller Kylie Jenner look.
“I’ll go for coffee with cream if you have it.” She didn’t smirk at the pretty blush her words elicited, though it was nice to see they both were struggling with attraction.
“Sure thing.” Rowan turned her back to collect the grinder from the shelf. “Ugh! Jodeci is so damned lazy. She doesn’t do this at work.” She turned and showed leftover grinds. “I’m no coffee snob, but I draw the line at stale grinds polluting fresh ones.”
She wiped the grinds out with a dishtowel, then blew the stubborn flakes away. “Good as new. Now, Colombian or flavored?”
Rowan looked at ease in the kitchen, not something Desiree expected. Power tools yes, domestic goddess no. She groaned at her mental typecasting.
Rowan looked a bit confused by her reaction. “Too many choices? How about I surprise you.”
“You already have,” Desiree said honestly.
Rowan rested the two brown coffee bags on the counter and invited Desiree to sit. “Why don’t we talk first and then I can hook up our brews. You’re making me nervous, and I don’t want to lose a finger while grinding the beans.” She fluttered her fingers dramatically, hoping for a laugh.
“Deal.” She smiled, a little. Then smiled wider at the look of pleasure it put on Rowan’s face.
Rowan pulled out a chair for Desiree and sat directly across from her at the table. “Can you tell me what’s happened, why you wanted to see me? I got the sense you wanted me to keep my distance, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”
Desiree’s heart rate picked up, and her mouth went dry. Now that the time had come, she was speechless. Rowan seemed to grow more tense with each tick of the old-fashioned white-faced wall clock. She decided to rip the Band-Aid off. “I’ve been rude to you, and you’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it.”
“Wow, cut to the chase, makes me feel right at home.” Rowan’s Brooklyn accent bloomed into full-on cabby.
Desiree barked with laughter. “Oh my God, I didn’t see that coming.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Jeez, you can’t go full-on gangster without warning a girl. I don’t have a thing in my wardrobe that goes with cement shoes.”
“You’d be surprised what looks good with cement shoes.” Rowan glanced at her outfit, sizing her up. “Cement comes in different colors these days.”
Desiree’s eyes widened for a second. She liked this playful side of Rowan. Her own laughter was slow at first, but warm all the same.
Rowan shrugged and seemed at ease. Her face was flushed with pleasure. “I’m not ashamed of my roots, but my accent smooths out here. A nonaccent, if you will. I’m a natural mimic. You should have seen what happened to me when I was interviewing a Southerner.” She shook her head. A few damp strands came loose from her bun, but she didn’t smooth them back. Desiree liked her lack of pretension. Reaching out, she tucked the strands behind Rowan’s ear.
Rowan’s hand rested on hers. She turned her head to kiss Desiree’s palm.
The feel of soft lips against the delicate skin of her palm made Desiree gasp. Rowan didn’t shy away, her dark blue eyes nearly black with passion. Desiree was sucked in and leaned across the small kitchen table to meet Rowan’s lips with her own—God they were even softer than anticipated—and she moaned into the gentle kiss. Long moments passed with no thoughts, just sensation. Rowan kissed the corner of her mouth and traced Desiree’s lips with her tongue, just shy of deepening the kiss. She cupped Desiree’s cheek before she ran her fingers through her soft curly hair. Desiree was suddenly glad she had decided to keep it down. She loved having her hair caressed while kissing.
Rowan drew back first, her dark eyes unfocused. Her lips seemed a darker red, slick from Desiree’s attentions. “Desiree,” Rowan panted. “Desiree, what do you want from me?”
Chapter Twenty-two
Desiree’s heart contracted. She recoiled and sat up straight. “I thought…actually, I wasn’t thinking.” Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to gather her thoughts. She felt so vulnerable, and the kiss left her heart so open that Rowan’s words made her ache with dismay. “Oh, hey, I didn’t mean to…” Rowan stood and knelt in front of Desiree. She took Desiree’s hand in hers. “You caught me by surprise, but a good surprise, okay?” She smoothed her thumb across Desiree’s knuckles, then stood, drawing Desiree along with her. “Come, let’s sit on the couch and talk.”
Desiree followed, but a few tiny tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.
“Oh, Mama would shoot me for making you cry.” Rowan pulled a cloth handkerchief from her pocket. “Here.”
Desiree accepted the gesture. The soft cloth smelled like Rowan. It was soothing. She’d never met someone under sixty who carried around cloth handkerchiefs. Desiree liked the old-fashioned touch. “I’m not sure what happened, I just felt…I just felt.”
“Can I hold you?” Rowan murmured.
Desiree walked into her arms. It felt good to be held. The ache disappeared and she felt warm and loved. Rowan was a good person, and she’d been right to come over today. “Thanks.”
They stayed like that for a few beats before Rowan
guided her to the couch. It was the kind to swallow unsuspecting people whole. “Woop!” Desiree yelped in surprise.
“Yeah, blame this one on Jodeci. She likes everything soft as a marshmallow. If you need a winch to get up, let me know.”
Desiree moved a bit away from Rowan so she could look at her as they talked. “I want to explain myself.”
“You don’t need to, no shame in crying.” Rowan stroked her cheek so tenderly, Desiree nearly purred.
“You need to stop that.”
Rowan pulled back like a child burnt.
“No, I like it, really. But I want to explain the way I’ve acted in the past. You deserve that much.” Desiree wiped sweaty palms against her jeans.
“I’m really easy to talk to, I promise,” Rowan entreated.
Desiree sighed heavily and continued, “I’m glad you’re giving me a chance. All I’ve wanted from you is friendship. Did you think I was making a play for you? Is that why you’ve kept me at arm’s length?” She held onto Desiree’s hand so she couldn’t get away. “Until today that is.”
Desiree took a moment to gather herself. She hadn’t explored her motivations beyond her singular focus to succeed. School was everything, and Rowan had been in the way. She shook herself mentally. How could she be so cold? Rowan wasn’t an obstacle in the way of her happiness, she was just a kind woman. Someone who offered a ride when Desiree needed one and rescued a phone Desiree could not afford to replace. “You didn’t do anything wrong—you didn’t even make a pass.”
“I could if you really want me to.” Rowan winked, and Desiree appreciated her attempt at levity.
“I’m not sure what Jodeci has told you about me—”
“Amazingly, she has not shared a damned thing. That’s why I knew she was up to something when she foisted you off on me for a ride.” Rowan shook her head.
That ride was unpleasant, but Desiree could tell Rowan wasn’t ready to share why. “Okay this is going to sound snobby, but let me get through it.”
Rowan’s face went carefully blank; Desiree could nearly see her heart lock down tight beneath her armor.
“I come from a very wealthy family, Bill Gates wealthy.”
Rowan whistled but kept her thoughts to herself.
“Everything in life comes with strings, and I didn’t want to be bound to my family by money.”
“Nice gig if you can get it.” There was no bitterness in Rowan’s tone, but her guard was definitely still up.
“I want to make my own life, on my own steam. The shadow the Chevalier name casts is long.”
“Chevalier, no shit.” The Brooklyn accent was back, but it was wrapped in sympathy rather than fame lust.
“Everything I have, from my clothes to my tuition, is earned. I don’t take a penny from my family.”
“There’s no shame in coming from money.”
That was a little too close to something her mother would say. It rankled her, but she repressed the desire to snap. “I fight so hard, I can’t afford a misstep. My scholarship demands perfection, not just now, but my future prospects will only be possible if my GPA is above reproach. I’m shooting for a combination JD/MBA program.”
“God I love brainy chicks.”
That was so not what Desiree was expecting, and she laughed. A full-on belly laugh. All her seriousness dissipated, and her shoulders dropped a bit as she relaxed into the marshmallow of a couch. “If I don’t watch it, this couch is going to lull me to sleep.”
“Rest if you like. I have a blanket if you need one.” Rowan was sincere and it was absolutely adorable. She wanted to bite that sexy lower lip. Desiree was glad she’d swallowed her pride and came over. Rowan was surprising her in so many ways.
“No nap time, but thanks. You’re sweet.”
Rowan mock gripped her heart. “You wound me. Whatever will happen to my reputation?”
“You have a reputation?” Desiree teased.
“Nope. But if I had a big bad butch rep, I’d trust you to uphold my mystique. It’s only fair.”
Desiree laughed again. Her spirit felt lighter. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
Rowan drew Desiree into her arms and started kissing her. It took a bit to switch gears and accept the kiss, but it was well worth it. She didn’t exactly finish what she had to say, but it was enough to satisfy Rowan. Rowan guided her until her back was mere inches from the couch cushion when her cell phone rattled around like a vibrator in her purse. “Fuck!”
“Yes, ma’am.” Rowan rested her body on Desiree’s and continued her panty-scorching kiss.
Her mother’s ringtone sucked the joy out of the moment. Her body tensed.
Rowan responded immediately. “Too much? I got carried away, I’m sorry.”
Desiree huffed a breath out of the side of her mouth, disturbing the curls that broke loose during their intense kiss. “No, not too much. Not nearly enough.”
Rowan’s eyes dilated in response until only a rim of dark blue remained. “In that case…” She leaned down to return to the kiss, but Desiree held her away.
“My mother. She won’t stop calling until I pick up.” Desiree growled in frustration. “I just charged my phone…so it could go on for hours. Damn it.”
Rowan hovered above her. The lack of tremble in Rowan’s outstretched arms impressed Desiree. The beep of a new message was like dry ice on her privates.
“You can take the call. I’ll go into my room to give you some privacy.” Rowan’s eyes were still glazed over with passion, but she was trying hard to be a good host.
Desiree pressed the palms of her hands on her forehead. Her voice was muffled. “I can’t talk to my mother with my guard down, and my guard is definitely down.”
Rowan tilted her head like an adorable puppy. For once, Desiree liked the expression she put on this sexy woman’s face. Desiree kissed her nose. “You are a cutie.”
Rowan pouted dramatically.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I have to go...” Desiree blew out a frustrated breath, “although I really want to stay, okay?”
Rowan extricated herself with grace and offered a hand to help Desiree off the couch.
“Your mama raised you right,” Desiree complimented.
“Oh, I’ll have to tell her that.” Rowan smiled as if visiting a happy memory. “She won’t believe me though. She’s pretty sure I was raised by wolves.”
She could tell Rowan loved her mama and briefly indulged a pang of jealousy. “I’ve gotta go.”
Rowan leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss on Desiree’s forehead. “Can I call you later?”
“Yes.” She drew Rowan down and kissed her socks off. “I’ll text you when the coast is clear.”
Unsteady on her feet, Rowan rested her hand on the door frame. Her entire body looked so relaxed and beyond sexy. Desiree wanted to sink back into her arms, but she couldn’t. Not with all this stress singing in her veins.
Desiree’s smile vanished the moment the door clicked shut behind her. “Damn.” Mother’s timing was uncanny as if she knew exactly the right moment to crush her spirit.
Chapter Twenty-three
Technically, she could have easily reached into her purse and shut her phone off. Part of her was glad to be saved by the bell—or shrill ringtone in this case. She didn’t regret getting close to Rowan, but she didn’t want to click the fast-forward button either.
She texted Suzie to let her know she was on her way home just in case the couple failed to make it past their dorm room threshold. Not that she could blame her friend. Jodeci fresh from the shower was enough to make any red-blooded lesbian shudder. The quick response was a relief. The coast was clear. She powered down her phone. The last thing she needed was the phone to ring through her car speakers while she was driving.
Desiree had no intention of returning her mother’s phone call. She may have box blocked her at Rowan’s, but she wasn’t quite ready to give up the buzz she got from sharing soft kisses with the delectable
Rowan Knight.
Her dorm room was empty when she arrived. Once she was sure her door was firmly locked, she dug into her homework. Desiree was able to finish reading for two classes and refine a term paper without interruption. Even if her mother decided to show up on her doorstep, she wouldn’t be opening the door. That brought something else to mind.
“Public safety, Renee speaking.”
“Uh, hi. I’m not sure if this is something that I need to do in person, if I need to sign anything, but my mother was let into my dorm room without my permission. I’d like to see that doesn’t happen again.” Desiree’s heart was beating faster, even though she knew this was the right move to make. Her mother had grown unpredictable. In the end, she was told what steps she needed to take to preserve her privacy; she even went as far as giving her house mother the scoop.
Desiree’s stomach growled. It was dark out, but that didn’t mean much. The sun scuttled away around four these days. She hated that. Early nightfall was so disorienting. She glanced at her cell; she could go downstairs and eat early, but the chance of her getting sucked into the dining hall void was not in the least bit tempting.
She was actually kind of shocked that dipping into the personal with Rowan hadn’t split her focus. To the contrary, she felt more alive. She packed up her bag and made sure she had enough cash to get a sandwich and fill her coffee mug at Tailgate, then breezed out the door. She flinched a bit when she exited the building. A quick glance confirmed her mother wasn’t in sight, but she was still on edge.
She didn’t completely exhale until ensconced in her remote carrel on the fifth floor of the library. No one knew of her hiding spot, not even Suzie. She perched her glasses on her nose and dug into her economics textbook. She resisted the urge to keep her phone turned on and in her line of sight. Rowan may not have derailed her, but her mother could raise her blood pressure with a text alert.
