by Laura Landon
“I don’t know.”
“I hate her,” he whispered.
“I hate her, too,” she answered. “For what she did to your mother, and for what she did to you.”
“I feel as if I’m living a nightmare. As if this is a dream, a terrible, horrifying dream. That when I wake up, none of it will be true.”
She hugged him tighter.
“Do you think we will survive this?” he asked.
“Of course we will. Look what you’ve survived already. Never forget how strong you are. You’ve endured so much and have become stronger because of it. You will survive this, too.”
He placed his finger beneath her chin and tipped her face upward until their gazes caught.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered. His entreaty was like a prayer. His voice a pleading supplication.
“I won’t leave you. I’ll never leave you.”
“I need you, Eve. I need—”
He brought his mouth down on hers and kissed her. This kiss wasn’t gentle like his kisses before had been. It was harsh and demanding and filled with want and need and desire. It contained desperation, yearning, and intense hunger. But no matter what he desired, Eve knew she couldn’t deny him. She was as eager to offer what he needed as she was to receive what he was willing to give. Even though she knew what they had between them would never be permanent.
He opened his mouth over hers and she allowed him entrance. His tongue searched, then found, and wild and violent emotions pulsed inside her.
She couldn’t get close enough to him, couldn’t feel enough of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed what little space there was between them.
His hands touched her, skimmed over her as if he needed to memorize every curve and valley of her body. He cupped her breasts, then moved downward.
Her heart beat wildly as explosive currents raced through her. She moaned a subtle cry of need, and want, but he caught the sound of her passion in a kiss.
She felt as if her flesh was on fire. His touch left a burning path as he skimmed over her body. A fiery heat ignited every inch of her.
Somehow they made their way from the study to Gideon’s bedroom. Their clothing fell to cluttered puddles at their feet. Then he lifted her up and placed her on the bed.
Eve didn’t speak. She didn’t want there to be words between them. Only actions. Only love.
She lifted her arms to gather him to her. When he came over her, she brought him down to her.
“Eve, I—”
“Shh,” she whispered.
She twined her arms around his neck and pulled him down until his flesh met hers. He brought his mouth on top of hers and the kiss they shared was more magnificent than any before.
Her body burned with desire until she feared she might erupt in flames. Her heart thundered until she thought it might explode inside her breast. And still he touched her, and kissed her, and moved his hands over her flesh.
She stirred beneath him, wanting something more. Wanting a release from the throbbing desire building within her. Her response to his touch intensified until it threatened to push her from a very high cliff.
“Gideon.” The knot in her throat made speaking almost impossible and her voice came out as a raspy plea. “Please. Oh, please.”
He knew what she wanted, even though she wasn’t sure she knew herself. He pressed his mouth against hers, and made her his.
CHAPTER 23
Gideon opened his eyes as rays of early morning sunshine streamed through the windows. He’d been awake for what seemed hours, but didn’t want to disturb Eve. She was sleeping soundly, as if she hadn’t slept so contentedly for a long time. And she probably hadn’t.
He looked at her beside him, her head resting on his shoulder, her arm draped across his waist, her leg twined with his—and he smiled. He thought perhaps he’d feel a twinge of guilt. Perhaps even regret that he’d anticipated their marriage vows, but he didn’t. He knew words said in a church were only a formality.
Although he hadn’t told Eve that he loved her, or asked her to be his wife, there wasn’t anyone else with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. No one understood him like she did. No one filled the void in his life like she did. No one held the key to his heart, except for her.
She completed his life. Filled his future with joy and happiness. The fact that he would never suffer from another seizure was another wonderful thing about his future. Everything would be perfect—except that he’d discovered his stepmother had tortured and killed his mother. And had been doing the same to him.
With the rising sun, the weight of the world settled back atop his shoulders. He breathed a deep sigh that shuddered when he released it.
“Are you awake?” she whispered in a sleepy voice.
“Yes. Are you?”
She lifted her head and looked at him. Her eyes beamed with passion fulfilled. Her smile of satisfaction warmed his heart. Nothing could have pleased him more.
“I…I must dress and slip away. Perhaps Papa isn’t up yet and won’t realize I didn’t come home last night.”
Gideon laughed. “Do you think that’s likely?”
She shook her head, then placed her cheek against his chest.
“What will you tell him?”
“That is a subject for another day,” she said. “Today we must decide what action you are going to take.”
The muscles in his body knotted.
“You can’t keep this from your father.”
“What will be gained from telling him, Eve?”
Her head lifted. “Surely you’re not serious?”
“What are my options? Have you thought of that?”
“I’ve thought of little else,” she said. “I knew when I let you read your mother’s journal that her words, her accusations, would destroy not only your life, but your father’s.”
“And my brother’s. And sisters’.”
“Yes. But if she is not exposed, you will constantly be in danger.”
“There is only one of me. My life will be the only one affected. There are four of them. And Benjamin and Anne and Winnie are just beginning their lives.”
Eve sat up and held the sheet over her. Her eyes took on a serious glint as she looked down on him. A hint of anger. “And your life is at an end? You consider them with their futures still before them and you with no future left? How dare you, my lord.”
“I don’t think I can do it, Eve.”
“Don’t think you can do what?” Her words contained a demand. “You don’t think you can expose the woman who murdered your mother? And tried to murder you?”
“No. I can’t let Benjamin and the girls live their lives knowing what a monster their mother was. Or allow my father to know what a villain he is married to.”
“Do you think not telling him will change anything. She will still be a murderer, whether or not her children or your father know what she’s done.”
“But they won’t know it. They won’t have to live with the knowledge.”
“No!” she answered. “Only you will have to carry that burden for the rest of your life.”
“Better me than—”
She bolted from the bed, taking the cover with her. She stood before him like the avenging angel coming from above to destroy him. Or protect him. “How long do you think she will let you live, Gideon? How long before she accomplishes her goal and you are dead, too?”
Gideon rose. His nudity didn’t bother him, but he thought it might Eve. He walked to his pile of clothes and slipped on his trousers.
“Get dressed, Eve. We’ll talk about this when we’re attired.”
“I’m attired enough for this conversation,” she said wrapping the sheet tighter around her. “How much clothing do I need to be wearing to convince you that your stepmother is a murderer and she won’t stop until you are dead?”
She gasped, startled at her frankness and the emotion that spilled her words.
Gideon raked his f
ingers through his hair, then stormed to the dresser to get a fresh shirt. He slipped it over his head and tucked the tails into the waist of his casual wools. When he felt calmer, he turned to her.
“Ernesta will not escape unscathed. I will inform her I know what she did to my mother. I’ll inform her I know what she was attempting to do to me.”
“And you think that will stop her?”
“Yes! I’ll tell her that I’m not the only one who knows what she’s done, and if something happens to me, they will go to the authorities.”
Eve slashed her hand through the air. “Oh, that will solve everything. But by then it will be too late. You will be dead, and expect me to go to the authorities. I’m sure they’ll believe the testimony of a country doctor’s daughter over that of the Duchess of Townsend. Especially when this will come as a complete surprise to your father and he will be honor-bound to support his wife’s claim of innocence!”
The longer Eve spoke, the louder her voice rose. Gideon pulled a pair of stockings from the drawer and sat in a chair to put them on. When he had his boots on, he anchored his elbows on his knees and let his head drop in defeat.
“Don’t you see, Eve? I can’t destroy my family’s lives with what we’ve discovered. I’m not sure my father will recover once he finds out the woman he’s been married to for more than twenty years is a murderer. And do you know what will happen to Winnie and Anne? Do you think anyone in Society will offer for them when this becomes known? Or Benjamin? What parents will allow their daughter to marry him?”
Gideon knew there was a response on the tip of her tongue, but a knock at the front door kept her from speaking it.
“Get dressed, Eve. Stay in here until I get rid of whoever’s there.”
Gideon closed the door behind him and crossed to the front hall. He tried to forget the tears he saw streaming down her cheeks. Tried to forget the fear in her eyes.
With an angry jerk, he opened the door and faced his brother.
“Good morning, Gideon,” Benjamin said, walking past him to enter the house. “I came to celebrate.”
Gideon followed his brother as he crossed the entryway, then went down the hallway and into the study. Ben walked to the sidebar and tipped a small amount of brandy into two glasses. He turned and handed one to Gideon.
“To you, my lord. Father wanted to come with me, but he couldn’t leave just yet and I refused to wait for him.” He lifted his brandy snifter to propose a toast. “Here’s to a long and healthy life, brother.”
Even though it was early in the morning, Gideon brought the glass to his lips and took a drink. He needed it.
“Now that Clyve Woodman is dead,” Ben continued, “there will be no more attempts on your life. And because your angel of mercy discovered the cause of your seizures, you are finished with that part of your life.” Ben lifted his glass again.
After his brother took a drink he set his glass down. “I’ve come to help you pack a few of your clothes so you can move back home. It’s time. More than ti—”
The door to his bedroom opened and slammed shut. Eve marched down the hall with her head high and her shoulders rigid. She stomped past the open study door without casting a glance inside.
Without a word of greeting to Benjamin, or of farewell to Gideon, she opened the front door and slammed it shut. Gideon squeezed his eyes shut to block out her anger.
“Then again, perhaps you prefer to stay here,” his brother said on a laugh.
. . .
Eve finished the notes she’d been working on concerning one of the residents at Shadowdown, then placed them in the folder and filed it in alphabetical order in the wooden cabinet behind her. She pushed the drawer shut then lowered her head to let her forehead rest against the cool wood.
It had been two days since she’d left Gideon. Two days since the incredible night she’d spent in his arms. Two days since he’d informed her that he had no intention of telling his father what she’d discovered.
Her heart ached with an unbearable heaviness. She knew what this meant. As long as Gideon’s stepmother thought no one knew what she’d done, she wouldn’t stop until Gideon was dead.
Eve pushed herself away from the cabinet, then slammed her fist against the wood.
“I hope you didn’t hurt yourself,” her father said from the doorway.
Eve turned. The second her gaze found him, a river of unshed tears filled her eyes. She swiped the first one away before it could spill down her cheek. With an agonizing moan, she rushed across the room and into his arms.
“Oh, Papa. What am I going to do?”
Her father shut the door behind him, then gathered her into his arms. “Come, sit down. Let’s talk about this.”
He led her to the small sofa she had in her office and sat with her. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s happened. I’ve been waiting, you know.”
Eve lifted her chin and looked into her father’s gentle eyes. They hadn’t spoken about what had transpired between Gideon and herself after he’d read his mother’s journal. Eve knew her father realized she hadn’t come home that night, but he hadn’t mentioned it.
“Gideon refuses to tell his father what Her Grace did.”
Her father reached for her hands and held them. “I was afraid that was the path he’d take.”
Eve looked at him with wide-open eyes. “But he can’t,” she insisted. “Don’t you see? His stepmother wants him dead. She won’t be satisfied until he’s eliminated.”
“You’re the one who isn’t seeing this whole picture, Eve. You have to look at this from Lord Sheffield’s perspective.”
“What perspective? The fact that he doesn’t want to upset his family?”
“No. That he doesn’t want to destroy his family.”
“So it’s better that they destroy him than he destroys them?”
Her father hesitated, then said, “Yes.”
Another river of tears spilled down her cheeks. “I can’t lose him. I just found him.”
“Oh, Eve,” her father said, pulling her against him. “You don’t have him. Loving someone doesn’t mean you own them. It doesn’t mean you purchased them and they are yours to do with as you want. You can’t make this decision for Lord Sheffield. It’s too big. He has to make it himself.”
“But what if he chooses wrong?”
“Wrong for whom?”
“For—” She stopped. “Oh, Papa. I’m so frightened.”
“I know you are. So am I.”
A knock at the door halted their conversation. Her father reached in his pocket and pulled out a clean handkerchief then handed it to her. When she had it in her grasp, he rose to answer the door.
“Lord Sheffield. How good to see you. Won’t you come in?”
Eve wiped the tears from her face and tried to look as put together as she could. But she knew Gideon would know she’d been crying. Her eyes burned from the tears and she knew her face was probably puffy and red.
“Eve,” he said, entering the room and stopping in front of the sofa where she sat.
She lifted her chin until her gaze met his. His warm coffee-colored eyes engulfed her, then he reached out his hand and cupped his palm to her cheek.
“I’m sorry I’ve caused you such pain,” he said. He lowered his body to the sofa beside her and took her hands in his. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She tried to smile but knew she’d failed. “I know.”
“Are you about ready to go home?”
She nodded.
“Would you allow me to walk with you?”
She nodded.
He rose to his feet and extended his hand. She took it and stood.
She’d hoped that his touch wouldn’t affect her, but if anything, the feel of his flesh against her was more powerful than it had ever been before. A warmth traveled up her arm and through her chest, then wrapped around her heart. She felt connected to him with an intensity that was impossible to understand. She’d never experienced such a pull
toward another person. Such…love.
“I’ll be home in a little while,” her father said before they left the room.
She looked over her shoulder. “I’ll be there,” she answered because she needed Gideon to know she couldn’t repeat what had happened the other night.
He escorted her from the asylum, and out into the bright sunshine. They walked down the path that took them, not to Gideon’s cottage, but to the small cottage she shared with her father. When they reached the first copse of trees, he stopped.
He pulled her behind a large elm tree and she went with him. When they were out of sight, he gathered her in his arms and brought his mouth down on hers.
Their kiss was tender, yet desperate. His hold on her was gentle, yet unyielding. The intensity of his kiss turned heated, as heated as ever. She knew this was meant as an apology. Knew he wanted her to know that he regretted their angry words.
But her father’s warning came to the forefront. No matter how much she wanted to tell Gideon what to do, she couldn’t. This decision was too big for anyone to make—except him.
He kissed her for several long minutes, then lifted his head and gathered her to him.
Their breathing was rough and ragged. She pressed her cheek against his chest and heard the thundering of his heart beneath her ear. It matched the racing of her own. She felt the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist to keep her weak legs from giving out on her, and to stay close to him. She never wanted to be separated from him.
“Do you know what you do to me, Eve?” he asked on gasping breaths.
She laughed. “The same as you do to me,” she answered.
“Please, don’t let’s ever argue again. I’ve never felt so miserable in my life.”
“Neither have I.”
“Then you understand?” he said, pulling back and looking down on her.
She worried her bottom lip to keep from saying something she’d regret later, and nodded.
He gathered her tightly against him again. “I can’t hurt my family by telling them. I’ve hurt them so much already.”
She led him to one of the wrought iron benches along the path and they sat. “How have you hurt them? You haven’t done anything to hurt them.”
