Altered Destiny: A Hustler's Choice

by Sherylynne L Rochester

  “Hey, Sasha,” said Stephen Davis also known in the streets as S.D.

  “Hey, Steph! Hey, guys!” Sasha had already given him a nickname. He seemed not to mind. “What’s going on?”

  The guys gave Sasha a nod with a smile. They all had lust in their eyes.

  “You know handling business, as usual,” S.D. said, as he looked her up and down. He liked her style and the way she carried herself.

  “Yeah.” Sasha moved in giving S.D. a big hug making sure he knew she wanted him. His friends watched as Sasha hugged him tightly and closely.

  All the guys hanging with S.D. thought Sasha was fine, but she was not giving them the time of day. To her some of them were nobodies.

  “Excuse me, let the man breathe. You all up on him.” Just as Sasha was letting him go Tanya arrived giving Sasha the third eye.

  “Oh, it’s nothing, Tanya,” Sasha said with a fake smile and very annoyed.

  Sasha truly hated this chick. She seemed to always pop up whenever she was around. What did he see in her? Why did he want her? She thought. She always came at the wrong time. Sasha was becoming very annoyed. Somehow I have to get him alone, away from her because she might ruin everything, she thought.

  S.D. moved his hand to the bags Tanya was carrying. He started to peek inside looking to see what she had in the bags. “So, baby, what you been up to?”

  “Nothing. Just shopping, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know. Always spending my money.”

  “No, just investing it.” She laughed as he gave her a stern look.

  Sasha noticed he was not happy with her. In fact he looked quit upset.

  “Well, guys, I’ll see you later.” Sasha turned to leave as T, who was S.D.’s muscle man, said, “yeah, you can come see me later.”

  Sasha turned back around towards T and rolled her eyes making S.D. smirk.

  “Ha! Come see you, sure, only in your dreams.”

  Everyone laughed except Tanya. She was really annoyed at Sasha and the rest of the crew for even entertaining her. Tanya had seen the looks the guys, especially S.D., were giving Sasha. She did not like it.

  “Man, you don’t want to mess with her, she’s no joke.” S.D. continued laughing, but was stopped by his girl’s smart remark.

  “How do you know?”

  Here we go again, S.D. thought. “Girl, don’t start.”

  “Bye guys,” Sasha said as she walked away smiling as S.D. and Tanya continued to argue. It was always drama with them and that was what Sasha wanted. It was only a matter of time before she and S.D. would be closer than close and Sasha would have him all to herself.

  Chapter 5

  Growing up here was rough. I’ve seen so many things growing up. Friends murdered, drugs sold, sex, and so much someone my age should have never seen. I let those things affect me and determined how I should be and how I saw life. If only I knew then what I know now.

  You know, I didn’t want to watch anymore. I wanted to run as far away as I could and leave this room because of what was playing on the screen. He continued to look at me with sad eyes and with a compassion I had never seen before. It touched me. He had already seen my life on earth and so did I. I didn’t want to encounter or remember it and neither did He. It hurt Him and it hurt me. How foolish I was now looking back. If only I had listened. If only I had taken the warnings and paid attention. I wanted it my way. If only...I wouldn’t be here like this right now.

  * * *

  “Doc, she’s flatlining,” said the nurse.

  “Come on you’ve got to make it,” Dr. Stanley said.

  They quickly moved to place pads on her chest. “Clear.”

  The room was intense and quiet waiting for her heartbeat to return. They waited. She still was not breathing.

  “No pulse,” said the nurse.

  Dr. Howard started CPR. He started to breathe into her. Still, she was not breathing and her heartbeat had not returned. Dr. Howard started to begin chest compressions. He was on a mission to save her life. “One, two, three! Come on breathe.”

  “No pulse.”

  “Clear.” Everyone stepped back as she was given shock. Then, her heart started to beat. The heart monitor returned showing her heart beating.

  “We have a pulse,” said the other nurse.

  “Good. Stay with us Sasha, just stay with us now,” Dr. Stanley said. He once again started to operate on her and began to remove the rest of the bullets from her body.

  * * *

  “So tell me something about you Sasha. I mean I know some things about you. Why are you not in school? Where do you work? What about your family?”

  “Huh...”

  S.D. wanted to know more about her. She intrigued him. There was such a mystery about her. As they sat on the stoops on St. James Place and Fulton Street, S.D. questioned her and was surely getting into her business. He wanted to know things about her. Things she never discussed, but tried to hide since it was too painful. Only a couple of people really knew about her past.

  “Uh?” She truly hated talking about her life and what she was up to. But, to make him trust her she had to open up about her life to him.

  “Come on, I’m listening.”

  “Well, my mom was murdered when I was little.”

  “Oh! I’m sorry.” He placed his arm around Sasha as she continued to talk.

  “No, it’s fine.”

  Was it really fine? Sasha thought. It sure was not. She had no one as she grew up. Going from family member to the next family member’s home and no one to truly say I love you or care for her. No one.

  “I remember coming home from school and my friend and I were coming off the school bus. The house I use to stay in with my grandmother was full of people and I knew something happened. Well, my grandmother, who died, came and grabbed me and hugged me really tight with tears in her eyes. I didn’t understand what was happening. I asked her what was wrong, but she continued to cry. My cousin came out and took me from her. My grandmother ran into the house very distraught. My cousin then sat me on the stairs and told me that my mother had died.”

  “How did she die?”

  “Mill. Do you remember Mill?”

  “Yeah, the greatest in the game back in the day. He reached millions just being here on the streets and was feared by everyone.”

  She shook her head in disgust. “Well, he killed my momma. He shot and burned her. He killed my cousin Bill too.”

  “Oh.” S.D. thought for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s cool. I was so happy when I found out that he had been murdered. As soon as they buried him I went and danced on his grave.”

  “No, you didn’t?” He said laughing.

  “Yes, I did. At the time of my mother’s death he couldn’t be stopped. The police protected him. That’s why he didn’t go to jail or wasn’t dead sooner.”

  “Well, the Feds caught up with him, you know. Someone gave them a lead and they raided his house out in Jersey. They didn’t find much, but they did have pictures and information about his dealings with drugs and money from surveillances they did on him. But, they really didn’t want him. They wanted the guys he was dealing with, the people higher up. So, they gave him a choice. They told him he would get less time or no time if he told them who else was involved. If he didn’t tell then he would spend the rest of his life in jail.”

  “He didn’t need jail. He needed to die the way my mother and cousin did.”

  S.D. nodded his head and continued to talk. “He didn’t want to go to jail because a few years before that he rubbed some people the wrong way. They ended up in jail and they wanted him dead. They really wanted him to pay. You see, in jail they don’t care about your reputation on the streets. Once you hit those prison doors you’re theirs. He didn’t want that. So, he gave the Feds all the information they wanted. When people found out that he snitched, they put out a hit on him.”

  “How did they know he snitched?”

  “Well, everyone that got m
oney from him or protected him got arrested. The police officers and all the way up to the top were arrested. They knew it was him that snitched because those he funded or those who helped him were not visible. They never met and the Feds never got them on surveillances. That’s how they knew he snitched.”

  “Oh.”

  “Well, when they found out they put a hit out on him.”

  “What about the witness protection program?”

  “That’s the thing. The Feds didn’t offer it to him. Stupid as it may sound they said that there was no need because everyone he snitched on was arrested. Mill tried to hide, but they found him. The police found his body in the Hudson River.”

  “Good, he deserved all he got for killing my family.”

  “Girl, you been through a lot in your short life, huh?”

  “Yeah, I have been through it all. But, you know I don’t miss my mother at all. I am okay with her death. She wasn’t really there for me. She chose the street life.”

  “Just like you. Following in your mother’s footsteps, huh?

  “I never really planned too, but I guess it’s in my genes.”

  “So, what about your father?”

  “Got another family and moved on with them. When I was a little girl I went to see him and showed up at his door. Some lady answered the door. I couldn’t even get the words out. So he came to the door and when he saw me his face just dropped. The woman asked me if I was lost and I said no I just came here to see him. He then told her to let him handle this. He stepped out and closed the door behind him and told me never to come to his doorstep again. Then he walked inside the house and shut the door in my face.”

  “Yo, that’s cold.”

  “So I’ve been on my own for a while now.”

  “Who you staying with now?”

  “A friend, who allows me to stay with no problems.”

  “Male or female?”

  “Female,” she lied.

  “And why are you not staying with family?”

  Sasha paused. “I did at one point, but it just wasn’t a good for me to stay at my aunt’s house.”

  “Why not?”

  Sasha paused again. “Let’s just say that some things just happened that I couldn’t deal with.”

  “Oh…Ok. So, where you work?”

  “On the streets.”

  S.D. looked puzzled and concerned. “What you do on the streets?”

  “I sale drugs from time to time just to get a little cash.”

  “Really, someone as smart as you doing the drug game.” S.D. didn’t look impressed.

  “Well, I need money and that was the only way I could get it. I hung out with those that sold drugs. I learned the streets and the game from them. The easiest buck I ever made.” Sasha smiled while pretending to count some money.

  S.D. was still not impressed. “The drug game is not for you. On top of that I don’t think woman should be out on the streets like that.”

  “Really!” Sasha said smartly.

  “Yeah, leave it to us guys. We can handle it better.”

  “Well, I disagree.” Sasha pulled out a wad of cash and flashed it before S.D. “So, woman shouldn’t be in the game?”

  S.D. shook his head. “What about school? You are too smart to be just roaming the streets, just hanging out here and selling drugs.”

  “I left and I haven’t been back since. It wasn’t my thing.”

  “Nah! Not cool. See education to me is important. As much as people say it ain’t, it is.”

  “I know, but I am not up for it.”

  “You should be up for it.”

  “Now, you’re talking about education, what has education done for you? You out here selling drug—”

  “Please don’t go there.” Sasha hit a nerve with S.D. “I went to school, went to NYU, got a degree in three years, but after I got out of school the jobs I was getting didn’t provide like it should. The jobs I wanted I couldn’t get. I am smart, intelligent, got really good grades in school, and went to one of the best schools. Still, I couldn’t get a good paying job. I really believed it had to do with my color. No one would hire me because of my skin color.” S.D. gave a pound to someone passing by.

  “What type of job was it?” she asked.

  “Some Fortune 500 Company. The position would pay a lot. I do mean a lot. I went in, sat, and waited for my interview. I was the only African American there. When I got into the interview, he took one look at me, and said next. He didn’t ask me any questions, nothing. I was dressed properly and better than the others, like I was rich or something, you know. Well, anyway, I left quietly and went home. I started thinking about my boys who were selling drugs and getting money. I mean thousands a day. That impressed me. Even while I was in school it impressed me. I wanted to stay on the straight and narrow, but I wanted money. I was greedy for money. So I started selling too.”

  “Well, how did you get into NYU?”

  He laughed. “I got a high score on my SAT.”

  She looked puzzled. “Now, you’re selling drugs after going to a good school, getting good grades…”

  “Life, Sasha, life brought me to this place and into this game.”

  “Look, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t see how you can get an education and then be here on the streets selling drugs. You said education is great, but how great is it if you are here. How great is it if you can’t get a good paying job?”

  “Well, look at it this way, if I didn’t go to school would I be as successful as I am now? Man, school and life taught me a lot. It taught me how to be a businessman. I took the things I learned in school and in life to make it here on the streets.”

  “You serious?”

  “Am I smiling?” S.D. looked serious, but then a smile started to spread across his face. Sasha joined in and laughed at him.

  “School taught you to sell drugs. That’s funny.”

  “It taught me the business, but look here, go back to school. I need the people I hang around to be smart.”

  “I am smart.”

  “Don’t start with me, girl.”

  She gave a quick thought to what he had said. She turned and looked at him and said, “alright, I’ll think about going back. But, I still think it will be a waste of time.”

  “Look there are girls out here who are thinking just like you. They left and only have an 8th grade education. Some are tricking. Others are doing drugs. Just think what they would have been able to do if they stayed in school.”

  As he was speaking a car rolled up with T on the driver’s side and a few other men in the back. They had come to pick him up.

  “Yeah, but, if they did stay in school you wouldn’t have a business,” Sasha said.

  S.D. nodded his head thinking she was right. “Listen, I have to go. I’ve been out in the open too long, but we’ll talk later.”

  “Yup!”

  S.D. stood up and gave Sasha a hug. T winked at her and she smiled back.

  “Go back.”

  With eyes rolling and a smile she said, “I will.”

  She would do whatever it took to get him to trust and want her. So, if she had to go back to school she would. Soon all the things she was doing for this man would pay off. Then she would not have to worry any longer.

  * * *

  As I looked at the screen that played back my life I thought this could have been the turning point in my life. I could have used the opportunity of going back to school to make something better of myself. But of course being young and dumb it didn’t change me. All I could see was getting money and having a name for myself. All I could see was getting S.D. and running the streets. As I continued to watch the screen, He kept nodding his head. I think he heard me thinking. I think he heard my thoughts. But, he didn’t speak. He allowed me to be alone with my thoughts. All I kept thinking about was how I could have changed right then and there. That was my opening and there was my opportunity. But, I didn’t take it. I followed my own way.

&n
bsp; * * *

  Sasha woke up early the next morning. She was determined to go back to school like S.D. told her too. After all, if it helped him be successful, it wouldn’t hurt to try it. She had missed years of school. On top of that she did not have enough credits to even make it to the next grade. But, she was determined to finish and get her diploma.

  She waited for the C train to take her back to Westing House. Once she arrived she went straight to the office to get information on returning back to school.

  The secretary seemed like she did not want to help. She was annoyed that Sasha had stopped in the office. “Yes, how may I help you?”

  “Yes, I’m looking to return back to school and wanted to know what I had to do.”

  “What was the last grade you completed?”

  “I stopped at 9th grade.”

  “What is your name?”

  “Sasha Miller.”

  The secretary started to type information into the computer. “Well, it looks like you didn’t even obtain any credits while you were here.”

  “I know.”

  “Well, I need you to fill out these papers and when you are done bring them back here.”

  She took the clipboard and had a seat. She began to fill out the information. Could she really do this? It would take her some time to get her diploma. Time, she did not have.

  “Miss.” She walked back up to the desk. “Do you know of any GED programs?”

  “Yes, but—”

  She interrupted. “Well, how can I get enrolled into that program?”

  The secretary got up from her chair and retrieved documentation for her to read about the GED program and obtaining a GED. Sasha did not want be in school. She decided on the quick way. The secretary handed the materials to her. She began to read over some of the materials.

  The GED program was created when the military requested it in 1942 for World War II veterans returning home, she read. Many entered World War II before completing high school and the GED gave them a way to demonstrate their knowledge. Passing the tests gave the soldiers and sailors the academic credentials needed to get jobs and access to other education or training. This helped them get back to normal life after war. Now those that obtain GED’s are immigrants, those in home schools, those leaving school due to personal problems, those who need to work, and those leaving high school early due to a lack of interest. Sasha was the one who was getting her GED because she lacked interest in school.