When Sydney hollered for Archer from a short distance away, Amelia’s eyes closed with relief. The men left the barn, no more aware of her presence than they had been when they walked in.
For long, long minutes she stayed where she was, perfectly still, afraid that if she moved she’d break into splinters of pain. She waited until she was certain they were far enough away from the barn, then cautiously crept down the ladder. She cut out through the rear door and sprinted for the woods, then hit the much-traveled path that led down the mountain to her trailer.
She called back to the farmhouse when she got home and told her mother that she’d had to change clothes.
“I’m really not feeling that well. I think I’ll lie down and take a nap. Try to get rid of this headache.”
Sarah Campbell’s voice was concerned, but she hadn’t pushed. “Okay, sweetheart. Just call if you need us.”
Archer took Logan to the airport a couple of days later, and thankfully Amelia hadn’t had to see him again. That had been a few weeks ago, and she’d had time to school her emotions. He’d be returning soon, and she’d just have to deal with him.
When she’d heard from an excited Archer that Logan was taking a position at the local vocational school and would be moving to Hazard by the end of November, she’d wanted to howl with frustration. Even shifting into the wolf that was her spirit animal and running herself stupid hadn’t helped. She’d gone on an hour-long run before bed this evening and every night this week, and it hadn’t done a bit of good.
“You’ve put up with Roger and his shenanigans. You can deal with Logan. Eventually you won’t even remember what he said,” she told herself as she finished off the last of the cocoa.
It was just too bad she didn’t believe that for an instant. No, something told her she’d be hearing his words in the back of her mind for a long, long time to come. She kept second-guessing herself when she dressed for the day, trying to determine if she was dressing inappropriately or not. For a couple of weeks after he’d gone, she was afraid to put makeup on. If she hadn’t been working at the photography studio, she wouldn’t have. And she hated that she’d let him have that much power over her.
For the first time in her life, she was truly jealous of her sisters. Being the youngest of five, with her nearest-in-age siblings being two beautiful, accomplished women, it would hardly have surprised anyone if Amelia had self-esteem issues. For one thing, both Emma and Rachel were stunningly beautiful, whereas Amelia could only be considered cute or pretty. They were both quite a bit taller than her, too. Rachel was five- seven, and Emma five-ten. Amelia was barely five -three, and she was curvy. She wasn’t fat or even overweight, but she had what her grandmother called a “womanly” figure.
She was blond, but both of her sisters had dark hair, though Emma’s had a warmer tone than Rachel’s. And they could stop men on the street with a smile. She’d seen it happen. Emma and Rachel could make a man think about sex without even trying. Amelia made them think about home-cooked meals and nurturing. She knew that. Enough of her male friends had told her as much.
Despite that, until Logan had come along and said what he did, Amelia had never felt second-rate. Except with Jimmy, and she’d long since learned that was a time best forgotten.
“It’s enough to give a girl a complex,” she told the moon with a tired yawn. “And these stupid dreams…”
Perhaps the worst part about the dreams was that, aside from what she could do for herself, there was no way she could gain any relief. She just wasn’t the kind of person who sought out strangers or friends and had casual, uninhibited sex. Her parents and older siblings, the still-single Rachel not included, had set the bar pretty high for happy, meaningful relationships. And as much as she protected her heart, Amelia wanted to belong to someone. She longed to have someone to share her life with. She wanted it desperately, more than she wanted anything. If Logan had reacted with even half the animosity toward her that he’d exhibited so far, she would have made a play for him. But given his words that day in the barn, it was out of the question. She’d sell herself on a street corner first. It would be less demeaning.
Standing, she stretched the kinks out of her back and hips. She’d run fast and hard earlier that evening, and soreness was her reward. The last thing she wanted to do was return to her empty bed, but she had to be up early in the morning to meet her sisters and Zanny for a trip to Lexington to look for wedding and bridesmaids dresses.
She looked over her shoulder at the creek and the field that stretched out toward the opposite mountain. The landscape was stark, quiet, cold. Just like her bed and her heart. Logan wasn’t for her as much as she wished he were. For a few seconds she let herself imagine what it would be like to go back to bed, to find him there, to curl up next to his side and feel him tuck her in close. To be loved. The sharp pang of longing that wound its way down her body brought tears to her eyes.
She no longer had any faith that such a happy ending was in her cards. Every bit of hope that hadn’t been stomped out by Jimmy years earlier had died that day in the barn.
Tomorrow she’d wake up and be Pip, the cheerful, optimistic baby sister. She’d put on the face her family expected to see, and for the most part, she’d fill the role honestly. But tonight she felt old and brittle. And what scared her most of all was the growing hopelessness that she felt. She worried that the darkness inside might take over her daylight self one day and then she’d cross a line she’d never come back from.
Chapter Two
Amelia wasn’t the only one having a restless night. Several hundred miles away in Virginia, Logan Gibson was sitting at a table in an all-night diner, trying to drink enough coffee to drive away the demons that plagued him.
“Nightmare?” Sal Hudson, the diner’s owner, asked as he came over to refill Logan’s coffee cup.
“Yeah. Same ol’, same ol’.”
Sal sat down with a grunt. “They’ll fade with time. Doesn’t help you much in the here and now, though.” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, then offered the pack to Logan, who declined. “You packed up yet?”
“Yeah. All I had was a couple of trunks. I head out day after tomorrow.”
Sal tapped his lighter on the Formica table. “Going to see your buddy tomorrow?”
Logan nodded. He saw understanding and pity in the older man’s eyes. A Vietnam vet, Sal knew all about survivor’s guilt. “His fiancée finally showed back up today. Says she’s back for good now. Came to terms with her new reality.”
Logan knew his voice was bitter but he didn’t care. His best friend, Colin, had been horribly injured in the same incident that had almost cost Logan his life last summer. They’d both been discharged with honors, but Logan felt like he’d gotten off light. His injuries weren’t nearly as severe as Colin’s. And the two men were the only ones who’d survived the ambush on their unit. Six other soldiers had died that day. He and Colin, grateful as they were to be alive, were still trying to figure out why they’d been spared.
He and Sal talked for a few more minutes. When some men dressed in fatigues came in, Sal got up to take care of them. He laid a solid hand on Logan’s shoulder as he passed. Logan had been coming in the diner for several weeks now, and he and the older man had built a rapport.
With Sal gone, Logan’s thoughts went back to the letter he’d been penning. He’d gotten in the habit of writing his brother during stressful times, and even though he’d be arriving in Kentucky and moving in with Archer almost before this letter made its way through the postal system, the familiarity of the exercise calmed him.
I’m torn, he wrote. I know I’m doing the right thing by coming to Hazard but I hate to leave Colin by himself. I just don’t get a good feeling from his fiancée. She’s fickle. The kind of woman who would set Dad’s radar off from a mile away.
How are the wedding plans c
oming? I’ve heard those can get to be quite the headache. If you need to run away once I get there, we’ll go. We can hide out until the big day. With the annoying one in charge, I can’t imagine you’re getting much peace.
Logan stopped writing to take a sip of coffee. Amelia. The annoying one. Pip, as Archer and most of her family called her. A petite blond bombshell full of energy and laughter, she was stunning and unexpected. She was younger than him by almost eleven years. His body didn’t seem to care about the age difference, and that indignity had set a torch to Logan’s temper, turning him surly at every encounter they had.
The first time he’d met her in person, he’d been blown away. Even dressed in a pair of jeans that had clearly seen better days and an oversized baseball jersey that did nothing to hide her curves, she’d made him sit up and take notice. Her hair ranged from pale blond to deep, burnished gold and cascaded halfway down her back in a wavy curtain. And her smile…
He’d been curious for years. Archer had shown him pictures, but a snapshot was hardly a good gauge of a person’s truth. And if he was being honest, Logan was expecting Amelia to be someone he could be friends with. He already admired her for what she’d done for Archer. But the reality of her was the furthest thing from what he’d expected to find when he finally met her and had thrown him off-balance.
When he received his first letter from Archer after his brother had connected with the Campbell family years earlier, Logan was intrigued. Most of the letters he’d gotten from Archer over the years were short, to the point, and written in simple, childish words that belied his brother’s intelligence. Archer was functionally illiterate, a guilt Logan carried that weighed heavily on his shoulders. But this letter had been different. The script was elegant and flowing, and its tone was almost chatty, full of responses to his own letter. Amelia had written it for Archer, the letter had disclosed, and Logan had wondered then if his brother was involved with her.
Curious, he had written back, and then eagerly awaited Archer’s response. He’d been subtle, digging without flat-out asking if they were dating. Over the next few letters, it became clear that while his brother was not involved with Amelia, he felt a great regard for the young woman. When Logan received the first full-length letter written by Archer himself, revealing that Amelia had been teaching him to read and write, the emotions had been almost more than Logan could bear. If he’d been able to get his hands on the girl, he would have kissed her.
As time went on, Archer’s confidence grew. Logan could measure it by the contents of his letters. And when Emma Campbell and her daughter Sydney kept popping up in those letters, Logan started to get a sneaking suspicion about where his brother’s heart lay. Once he was injured and had returned stateside, those suspicions were confirmed. He’d been concerned, especially after Archer’s relationship with Emma had soured. After all, his brother’s first marriage had ended in disaster, literally—Candace had shot Archer and almost killed him. So as soon as he was able, Logan had traveled to Kentucky to find the truth for himself.
What he found was a warm, loving, boisterous family who’d accepted Archer as one of their own. Emma, instead of the seductress he’d half-feared her being, was head over heels in love with his brother. And Archer was happier than Logan had ever seen him, which had caused part of the guilt Logan had long carried over Archer’s childhood and young-adult years to fade.
“I’m at peace. I feel like I’m finally where I belong and I’m doing what I should be doing, Lo. If I died tomorrow, I’d die a happy man.”
What made Archer’s peace more astonishing was the fact that when his ex-wife had shot him, she’d killed the mountain lion that was a part of him. Logan and Archer came from a long line of shape shifters, and that Archer could be so calm about the loss blew Logan’s mind. Logan had wanted to drive to the women’s prison where Candace was still housed and rip her apart. Archer had talked him down as they drove back to the airport in Lexington so he could fly home.
“I’m okay with it. And I know I should have told you sooner, but please believe that I didn’t mean to hide it from you forever.”
“But how can you really be so accepting?” Logan had asked. “That’s what I don’t understand.”
Archer was quiet, not answering for a few miles. “I was still pretty angry when I got to Hazard. But I got to know the Campbells, and I got to know Pip. She really helped me move past the anger, the grief. I thought I had, but she realized I hadn’t. She made me face it in that gentle way she has. Made me not just see but believe I could be more. That I wasn’t defined by what had happened, by what I’d lost. That what was left was more important. And I guess I just healed.”
The brothers were both quiet, and after a while Logan shook his head. “I have a hard time reconciling what I know about her with the person I met. She just doesn’t seem to fit. I certainly didn’t expect her to be so damned annoying.”
Archer sighed, the sound tense. “You keep telling yourself that. You’ll regret it someday.” Talk had turned to other topics, a change for which Logan was grateful. They’d had an argument a couple of days earlier about Amelia, and he’d spent enough time thinking about her.
Like now, when he was trying to write Archer. He forced his thoughts away from the memory of the curve of her cheek when she smiled and the sound of her laughter, and back to his letter.
I’m planning to head out early day after tomorrow. That will come as no surprise to you, I’m sure. I might stop in Ashland, say hi to some old friends, but I’m just as likely to come straight in. Depends on how I’m feeling once I get there. The SUV is pretty comfortable for short distances, but we’ll see how she does on the open road.
Give Emma and my niece a hug. I’ll see you soon. Looking forward to rooming with you again until you get married. I’ll have to plan a bachelor party with Emma’s brothers, if for no other reason than it would annoy the Pip. I swear, she’s a conundrum. She’s a flighty little thing, but at the same time, a more disapproving woman I’ve never met, not outside Catholic school. Does she wear a chastity belt? Maybe that’s the problem. She has one and threw the key away. More likely she lost it. Someone needs to buy her a pair of bolt cutters for Christmas so she can get rid of the thing and lighten up. But you didn’t hear that from me.
With love,
Logan.
He realized as he sealed the envelope and put the letter in the mailbox that thinking about Amelia Campbell’s sex life, or lack thereof, just prior to trying to sleep probably wasn’t a good idea. As frivolous as she was, she’d been haunting his dreams ever since he’d laid eyes on her. Between Amelia and his frequent nightmares, he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. The knowledge did nothing to endear her to him.
“Maybe I should plan on stopping somewhere along the way for some old-fashioned R and R,” he mused as he walked back to his efficiency apartment. But his heart wasn’t in it. As frustrated as he was, the thought of exposing himself physically to a stranger, or even a friend, left him feeling raw.
Logan had come home scarred and wounded. He’d regained an astonishing amount of physical strength but his endurance was gone. His doctors told him it wasn’t likely to ever return. He couldn’t argue with them that he was a shifter and he healed differently from regular humans, so he kept his mouth shut. But he had a nagging worry in the back of his mind that they were correct. At least he still had his cat, though he hadn’t been able to fully shift yet.
Time would tell just how much he would heal. Even if he never regained his full physical abilities, he’d learn to deal with what he was left with. He hadn’t come this far to give up now. Besides, focusing on the pain of healing meant he had less time to focus on a young blonde he had no business thinking about in the ways that he did.
Chapter Three
Amelia was late. She hated being late. It was rude, it was irresponsible, and most of the time it
was entirely preventable. Today was an example of a good exception.
She’d gone to her car, coffee and keys in one hand, book satchel in the other, ready to go to work at the photography studio. She was running on time, which meant she was going to be a few minutes early. With any luck, she’d arrive in time to get a bear claw from the bakery next door before they sold out.
As soon as she saw her tires, she knew that bear claw was not in her cards today.
All four were flat.
“Okay, that’s odd.”
It didn’t take ten seconds for her to figure out how and why. When she unlocked her door to set her bag inside, the tire valve caps were lined up in a neat little row on the ledge in front of her odometer. All the air rushed from her lungs with a sickening wheeze.
“Roger.”
There really wasn’t another explanation. Given their encounter in the grocery store the day before, she had been expecting something. But not this.
The first time she’d realized Roger was toying with her was the same day she’d met Logan for the first time. Almost a month ago, on her father’s birthday, Amelia had overslept. It was an unusual occurrence, to say the least. When she’d called up to the farmhouse at the top of the mountain and apologized, explaining that her power was off and the clock’s alarm hadn’t awakened her on time, they had told her they had power. So did her aunt and uncle who lived just up the road, almost within sight of Amelia’s trailer. That had been odd, but she hadn’t made the connection until she’d walked out into the yard to see Archer standing with Logan. They were discussing her power outage, which had apparently been caused by the quick connection having been knocked loose.
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