by Fiona Murphy
Enzo
I should be home already. In less than an hour my family will descend on my home for the first time. The caterer will arrive in ten minutes, the florist left a half hour ago, the cleaning crew was there for two hours this morning. Everything will look perfect, except it’s not.
I’m not sure where I fucked up, but I know I did. Chloe looks through me now. We can’t have a simple discussion without it devolving into an argument that is nothing like the ones we used to have, the ones I miss. I don’t know how to fix it. When she first saw me after I came back, she looked as if she was actually happy to see me, but then her face changed. Before I knew what was going on, she was walking away, and she’s kept going ever since. She’s beside me but she’s not here. The first night in the house I was sure we could take the time now that we had the privacy to focus on us, to fix us, only for her to walk away again. For a few hours I considered going after her, I had her phone tracked back to her two flat. Only for Russell to text me to let me know she was with him and he really needed her now, and to thank me for letting her stay over with him.
Last night I needed to finish things I had left undone at work. I was on my way up the stairs when Lillian stopped me to ask me to speak with her. We spent over three hours talking, mostly about Chloe but also my plans for our future. By the time I was yawning it was almost three in the morning and I was exhausted. It was all I could do to climb into bed. I wanted to pull Chloe into my arms, but I was asleep before I touched her.
The small box is mocking me for being a pussy. It sits in the middle of the desk where Pauline put it when she left almost an hour ago. I haven’t moved it, haven’t touched it. I have no idea why I can’t bring myself to give it to Chloe. The weekend we were supposed to spend on the boat, I was going to give it to her. I had it all planned out. Then everything went to shit. She hates her new ring, it’s written clear across her face every time she looks at it.
I pick up the box then put it in the top drawer, in the back where I can’t see it. Then I call down to Everett to let him know I’m ready.
I’m in the car before I remember to ask him. “Did she argue about the car?”
“No, sir. She didn’t look happy, but she’s been looking that way a lot lately.”
“Thanks for that, Everett.”
“No problem, sir. Wedding still on for this Saturday?”
“Yes, you smartass.”
“Just making sure, sir.”
“Shut up.”
At home I don’t see Chloe or Lillian on my way upstairs to change. Chloe is in the large walk-in closet, almost in a dress. My whole body goes hard as her eyes meet mine; thank fuck her eyes are turning silver with desire. I don’t think, don’t dare ask, afraid of the answer. I simply grab her and pull her to me. There is no resistance, her body melts into mine. The scent of her pussy wet for me has me lifting her onto the island, desperate for the taste of her. I’m too needy to do more than yank her panties to the side before I feast on her.
Small hands delve into my hair as she moans my name. Undressing with one hand isn’t easy but I manage it. Fuck, my cock is leaking everywhere. I’m not going to last long, it’s been too damn long. Intent on bringing her to orgasm before I get inside her and might not be able to last long enough to bring her there, I press two fingers inside her, finding that spot as I suck deep on her swollen clit. Thank fuck she’s screaming her orgasm in seconds. Aching, I’m aching to be inside her. I bring her down on my cock, wanting all of her on me, holding her by her waist as she sinks down with a sob. I know, angel, me too.
This position has me right where I need to be. For a moment I just savor the feeling, the scent of her all around me. Until I feel something I can’t explain. I open my eyes to find Chloe looking down at me, tears welling up in her eyes. Shit, my chest goes tight.
“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”
She shakes her head. “I just missed you.” A hand strokes my face.
Relief makes me weak; I send a hand into her hair as I tug her down to me. Sweet, every kiss is sweeter than candy. I lose track of time, of the world until she begins squeezing from deep inside, and now I move. We both move, hungry, starving, desperate for the moment, for completion. I’m too close and she’s not there yet, damn it. I slide my hand between us to rub her clit; she screams my name against my neck as she comes. Holding her tight I follow her, I bury my own cry against her breasts.
For endless minutes I hold her tight, not wanting to let her go. “Enzo, we have to go downstairs. I’m pretty sure I heard the doorbell a minute ago.”
Sighing, I loosen my hold on her so she can slide down my body. When her feet are on the floor, my ego gets a boost as she sways. “Can you stand?”
One of those blushes I haven’t seen in forever appears. “I’m fine. Can you zip me up?”
She turns and I zip her into the silver dress. I had no idea we were right in front of a large mirror; I watch her turn to look at herself, then sigh. “I don’t know what you’re sighing about. You look gorgeous.”
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror. “I look like I’ve just been thoroughly fucked. I’m going to have to redo my makeup and my hair.”
“Ah, okay, but leave your hair down.”
“Yes, master, whatever you say, master.” She bows as she leaves the closet.
It’s my turn to sigh, in relief. Maybe we can turn this around. I change then see my own hair looks as if hands have been in it. When I go into the bathroom to brush my hair, Chloe is already gone.
The night goes better and faster than I feared it would. Dante and Bethany were already downstairs, and Chloe and I were teased about what was taking us so long, then the teasing kept going all night long. Alicia and Che left all the kids at home even though I tried to insist they bring them. Alicia admitted it was nice to have a night off, and since she wasn’t breastfeeding it wasn’t a big deal. I worried for a minute when Tony and Lillian sized each other up, then Lillian smiled and the moment passed.
As the door closes behind the last person, I’m dying to get Chloe back upstairs and end the night right, only Lillian seems to have caught a second wind. Chloe’s eyes meet mine when Lillian urges me upstairs to bed. Regret is there, but I know neither of us are willing to tell her no. With a last nod to Lillian, I go upstairs. I take a quick shower and try to stay up, but my body drags me into sleep.
When I wake up, no alarm needed as usual, Chloe is tucked into my side. I want so badly to wake her, but I don’t dare. She’s not a morning person under the best circumstances. I’m not going to take a chance by waking her up to make love to her; for all I know she might push my ass off the bed.
I dress and am ready to go. When I come out of the bathroom I find Chloe leaning against the tufted headboard. She’s sleepy but smiling.
“Hey, gorgeous.” I kiss her cheek.
“Enzo, don’t go to work, stay in bed with me for another hour. I’m sorry you were asleep before I came up to bed. Nonna talked my ear off about marriage and kids.”
Shit, I have a conference call in a half hour with my largest investment. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t not go in. Her hand is wrapped around my tie, pulling me against her. “I wish I could, angel, but I can’t. I have a major call I have to be there for in a half hour.”
She stiffens. “Why is work always more important than anything else? You can’t reschedule or something?”
I pull back, and she lets me go. “Today I can’t, it’s important. This call has been planned for weeks, it’s not something that can be pushed back.”
Shaking her head, she sighs. “Fine, never mind.” She rolls over, her back to me.
Christ, I never know how to fight with her anymore. What I want to do I don’t have time for. I settle for something in between. A hand goes into her hair, bringing her up to me. At first she keeps her mouth closed, refusing me entry, but I don’t give up until she’s sagging against me panting.
“Tonight,” I promise before releasing her. Now I can go to work.
23
Chloe
When I wake up for the second time with my alarm clanging too damn loud, I roll over to stare up at the ceiling. I can’t put it off any longer. Sliding off the bed, I go into the bathroom to find the pregnancy test I stashed here yesterday. We were supposed to do this together, it was the real reason I asked Enzo to stay home. I already know I’m pregnant; I wanted him to find out with me, though. Just an hour, he couldn’t give me an hour of his day. Stop it, Chloe, he’s a billionaire. He didn’t get that way by winning the lottery. He’s worked hard for it; he can’t turn it off like a switch. Except he’s going to when the baby comes. He’s going to go from fourteen-hour days in an office to five-hour days at home, for the baby.
The test takes all of five minutes from beginning to end, including me reading the directions twice. Two lines, no surprise, but seeing them there makes it real. I run a hand over my stomach. Nothing to see here yet. A baby, a little piece of me and a little piece of Enzo. The thought weakens my knees and I sag against the vanity. Why couldn’t he be here? Would he have been if I told him the real reason? Deep down I know the answer, and I hate it. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I open the bottom drawer of the vanity, set the test with the box and directions in the back where I can’t see it, and close it. I need to get ready for work.
***
Chloe
After an early dinner we go to the opera. When we get home we have a late snack of buttered noodles Nonna makes. Nonna lets us go up to bed at eleven.
When Enzo reaches for me, I don’t tell him no. I don’t say anything, I need him too much, need this too much but when it’s over I push him off. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything. He pulls me into his arms the way he usually does, and even though I want so badly to push him away again, I don’t have the strength so I fall asleep in his arms.
And that’s how the rest of the week goes. During the day I try to pretend I’m not hurting, that I’m not pretty fucking sure I’m making a huge mistake. At night, Enzo fucks me until I don’t have a solid bone in my body. I wanted to say make love but I know I’m wrong, was always wrong because you make love to someone you care about and fuck someone you’re trying to knock up for the grand prize of a kid. I’m pretty sure Enzo feels my attitude, but he doesn’t care so he doesn’t say a word, doesn’t ask, and I’m done asking for things I can’t have.
***
Chloe
It’s my wedding day; it’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Three seconds after I open my eyes I’m throwing up with my head in the toilet. Thank god Enzo is already out of the room. This happened yesterday, I was kind of hoping that would be the end of it. After I brush my teeth with only baking soda because I can’t stand the taste of toothpaste anymore, I go back and lie on the bed.
I check my phone, it’s almost ten o’clock. The ceremony is at noon followed by a half hour of pictures then lunch on our lawn. We actually only ended up having twenty-two people total, Adam included after Russell broke down and forgave him, so everyone will fit in the backyard. In forty-five minutes a woman is coming to do my hair and makeup, and although Bethany and Alicia aren’t in the tiny wedding party, they are coming over to have their hair and makeup done too. The wedding party will consist of Russell as my best man—no, he doesn’t get to wear a dress even though he asked a hundred times and Dante as Enzo’s best man. Nonna thought it was sweet I asked her to give me away, but her old-fashioned sensibilities wouldn’t let her so I nixed the idea entirely. I’m walking all of sixty feet. Even if I am wearing heels, I can make it on my own.
From the window I can see the backyard has already been set up for wedding splendor. There is a trellis covered in peonies in pink and white, and huge teacup roses also in pink and white. We’re getting married by a judge Enzo knows.
“I swear it looks like a floral shop threw up in your backyard. It’s gorgeous.” Russell opens the door without knocking. “Pussycat, what the fuck? You’re just lying in bed.”
I shrug, I’m not ready to tell anyone yet. “I just woke up.”
“You just woke up? Only you. You want me to get you something to eat? Enzo’s downstairs threatening death to anyone who fucks up today, so you can’t go down there.”
“I’m not hungry, it’s fine. Bethany is on her way over with the dress.”
“Why does she have your dress?”
“Because she’s as bossy as you are. She was sure Enzo would see it if I kept it in the house.”
“Oh, she’s so smart. Come on, up. Go take a very quick shower, and here, I bought you the most amazing lotion. It will not only turn your skin into the softest silk imaginable, it will make your skin glow. I’m jealous I’m not white.” Russell yanks me off the bed. I go, taking the lotion with me.
The next two hours pass in a blur as I struggle to smile. Gradually, through Bethany and Russell’s laughter and excitement, I’m not struggling anymore. As I stare at the mirror, I sigh. I never thought I would get married, never dreamed of this day. Maybe this won’t be a complete disaster, I’m not betting on it though.
“Beautiful.” Nonna sighs.
“Nonna, what are you doing in here?”
“I come with your gift from Enzo. He wanted you to wear it for the ceremony.” She hands me a large velvet box.
The moment I see the box I know what it is. Opening it, I’m not wrong. Sighs are loud all around me. It’s the emerald necklace I looked at the day we went to get the replacement engagement ring. I don’t want it. I would have rather had the ring he gave me the first time. Forcing a smile, I turn so Nonna can put it on. Heavy and cold, the metal causes a shiver I can’t hide.
“It’s time.” Russell hugs me close. “Remember, five minutes. The music will start.”
Five minutes. I carry the heels down the stairs until I’m in the kitchen. Fuck I hate heels. A few more steps and I’m wobbling as I step out onto the deck. Okay, women have their dads walk them down the aisle so they don’t fall on their ass. This is not working, screw the line of the dress, I’m about to step out of the heels when an arm appears in front of me. It’s Tony. “Can I offer an arm?”
I stare at the arm, at the man. The dress won’t look as good if I’m not in heels. Taking his arm, I smile. “Thank you, Tony.”
“No problem, always here to help.”
Sixty feet, I counted them when we did it yesterday. It feels like more though.
Enzo is stunning. The moment I see him all my fears disappear because he’s looking at me like I’m every wish he ever made come true. Me, he’s looking at me, and when Tony gives my hand to Enzo I feel the shock of electricity from that first time. Enzo is so happy he’s nearly vibrating with it.
As we recite the plain vows I speak them clearly, meaning every word. When he kisses me, I can’t hold back my happiness, and it’s just a little longer and deeper than it should be. For the next hour I’m floating on air, until the moment we sit down to eat and someone hands me a glass of champagne. Before I can think of a way of getting out of drinking it without explaining why, Enzo reaches for it. Taking it, he holds it up.
“Can I have your attention?” Immediately, everyone goes quiet. “In addition to celebrating our wedding day, I want to share we’re also having a baby. Chloe is pregnant.” The oohs and ahs are deafening. I paste a smile on my face as I struggle to answer everyone’s questions at once. No, I haven’t seen a doctor. I just found out. No, I’m not going to quit working. I have the answer for why Enzo’s so happy, he had to have found the test. He’s gotten everything he wanted. A wife who won’t argue, is easy in bed, and who is so fertile that after less than a month of fucking he knocked her up.
We cut the cake, and by now my face hurts from faking a smile I don’t feel. Just when I think I can’t last another ten minutes, Cesare gets a call from the nanny: something is wrong with Matteo. She’s taking him to the emergency room because she thinks he has meningitis. Panic sets in, Alicia and Cesare are gone within seconds. Bethany and Dante follow w
ith Tony in their car. Dominic disappears too, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to the hospital.
“Come on, I’ll help you change,” Enzo says.
Shaking my head, I look to Nonna. “I can’t leave Nonna alone. You go, call me when you know.”
He’s disappointed. While I feel bad, I’ve always hated hospitals. I told him that when he talked about Alicia not wanting anyone to come to the hospital when she had Nicholas. “You remember how much I hate hospitals, don’t you?”
“This is important. Would you stay home if it were our child?”
“Enzo, that isn’t fair. If it were our child or you, yes I would be there. Please understand, I didn’t go to the hospital when I had kidney stones. Russell had to pick me up and put me in the car against my will.”
He shakes his head, doesn’t say a word, and he’s gone.
The next few hours pass slowly. Russell and Adam stay with me and Nonna. Then Everett, Enzo’s driver, arrives to ask if we were still going on our honeymoon. The pilot is calling. I shake my head. I still have no idea where we were going. Nonna speaks up and asks.
“Sicily.”
“Ah, I’ll take the flight, if you can delay it for a half hour while I pack.”
“Nonna?”
“I miss home, my darling. You and your new husband have a lot going on. I’ll leave you to it.”
I don’t bother arguing. I go up to help her pack. She chatters away at how excited she is about the baby. How she’ll be back to help me when the baby comes. When she leaves she kisses me goodbye and tells me to dream right, and we both laugh. When I was little she would tell me to sleep tight and dream right. I promise her I will.
Once Nonna is gone Russell hugs me. “You want to go to the hospital, pussycat?”
I shake my head. “You know I hate hospitals. Every time I’m in one, all I can think of is those three days while I sat in one watching my mother die and what felt like everyone around her die too. No, god no.”
“Okay, just checking. How about some poker?”
