by Fiona Murphy
At least this time I can see the tiny light gray speck without her pointing it out on the screen. More gray paper comes out, and Enzo takes it with a thank-you.
“I want to see you in two weeks.”
“I thought you said every month?”
“When your numbers are where they need to be, it’s every month; for now it’s every two weeks.”
Message received. “Yes, okay.”
“All right then, Mr. Sabatini, a word.”
I wonder what she’s talking to Enzo about, then shrug as I change back into my clothes.
***
Enzo
I lean back against the wall as the doctor slams out of the room. I’m pretty sure even when I was in the Army I’ve never had my ass ripped so badly then handed back to me. All I could do was stand there and take it because I deserved every bit of it.
At every turn I’ve failed Chloe and our baby. All because I was a pussy with hurt feelings. When she refused to take a honeymoon, it hurt. I worked hard to make it happen; my staff hated me as I pushed them to deliver so I wouldn’t have work on my mind while I was gone. Then Chloe told me to go away, she didn’t want to be with me. So I went. Hell, I even moved into the spare bedroom because I was sure she didn’t want me to touch her, and there was no way I could honor that if I slept in the same bed with her. In all my attempts to protect myself, now it seemed I was hurting her and our baby.
All of it stops today. Whether she likes it or not. I find Chloe at the reception desk setting her next appointment. When she turns, her surprise at seeing me is clear.
“How about lunch? It’s almost two now.” I guide her toward the elevator.
Sighing, she shakes off my hand. “You don’t need to oversee my every move. I’ll do better. Go on, you don’t want to miss any work.”
Biting my tongue isn’t easy. “I haven’t eaten either. I’m asking you to join me for lunch. Is that really too much to ask?”
“Considering you haven’t seen me for two weeks despite us living together and working in the same damn building, yeah, it kind of feels like it.”
I manage to hold my tongue as we cross the lobby toward the parking garage. The moment we’re in the garage I let loose. “I’m done with doing what you want. You wanted me to go away so I fucking went. Now I find out you aren’t taking care of yourself. Well tough. You can’t take care of yourself then it’s back on me, you had your turn, it’s over. No more hiding at work, no more giving you your space, and no more fucking separate bedrooms. All that shit is over.”
She blinks. “Have you lost your fucking mind? I didn’t want you to actually go away, you moron. I was mad at you, you hurt me; what I wanted was for you to put your arms around me and tell me you were sorry, not move out of our fucking bedroom.”
Fuck, Dante was right. “How many times have I told you to communicate with me? I told you to talk to me. I’m not a mind reader especially when it comes to you.” It’s been too long; I pull her into my arms. When she sags into me all the anger and frustration I’ve been feeling disappears. “Why can’t you be normal?”
“Normal is boring.”
“Sometimes boring isn’t a bad thing. Come on, I’m hungry.”
***
Chloe
Enzo goes into bossy mode. I’m to leave the office no later than five, he’ll meet me at home. He’s home before I am, frowning at me as I walk through the door. I’m up in his arms before I can blink.
“Enzo, what are you doing?”
“You need a nap. You’re taking naps now when you get home.” Gently he lays me on the bed.
“I’m not tired.” I’m not.
Shaking his head, he takes off my shoes. Then slides off my skirt. “I’m not trying to start a fight, but you look tired. You can just lie in bed and read for an hour or so if you aren’t tired enough to sleep.”
I’m down to my panties and bra. Disappointment hits me when he disappears. He’s back with an oversized shirt he’s trying to put on me. “I got it. I can do it.”
With a nod he steps back. “Sleep, for an hour. I’ll make dinner. What do you want for dinner?”
I’m annoyed at him for being so nice when it’s all for the baby. “Lasagna.”
He only smiles, showing no annoyance at the idea of the upcoming hour it will take to make it. “One lasagna coming up. You rest.”
Rolling onto my side, I sigh. I’m not sleepy. This is stupid. It’s my last thought before I fall asleep.
I come awake slowly, blinking. I wonder if I’m dreaming to find Enzo in bed, on his side watching me.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad you’re awake. Lying in bed with you while trying not to touch you has been damned hard.”
“You’ve managed not to touch me for several weeks; a few hours doesn’t seem so hard.”
A sigh, he reaches out to catch me behind my neck. “You told me to go away so I went. I get I fucked up, I’m sorry. I was trying to honor what you wanted. There was no way I could have lain beside you in bed and not touched you. I’m so much bigger than you, I never wanted you to feel as if you had to do something to please me.”
I blink as I understand what he’s trying to say. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You would never do that. I have never not wanted you the moment you looked at me, let alone touched me.”
His kiss is soft, gentle. “Dante told me I was stupid. He was right. I was wrong.”
My chest is tight at the sorrow on his face. I hate it. “Enzo Sabatini has just admitted he’s wrong. Can I get this on the record?”
Chuckling, he shakes his head. “It’s for your memory alone. Come on, I’m starving.”
After dinner we make up a grocery list for Karen together. Enzo starts laying down the law: I leave work by five unless I’m with a client. As soon as I get home I lay down for a nap. Even if I’m not tired, I lay down with my feet up. We’re in bed no later than ten o’clock, and no more work on the weekend, period. I argue if there’s no more weekend hours for me, then there shouldn’t be any for him. I’m shocked when he nods in agreement, I thought he would argue more.
“It makes sense to start doing this now rather than waiting for the baby to come. For both of us.”
I can’t believe I’m yawning as I agree. It’s only been three hours since I woke up.
“Bedtime.” Opening my mouth to argue, I close it when I see the heat in his eyes. I nod, Enzo tugs me close, then his mouth is on mine. I’ve missed this so much. Without any memory of how we made it to our room, Enzo is undressing me.
“I do believe you’ve been a bad girl not taking care of yourself. That is too important to let pass. A spanking is in order, my sweet, and I don’t think ten will cut it.” My panties become drenched in anticipation.
Ripping my shirt in half, he smiles as he sees my breasts heaving, nipples tight and hard for him. Ah, yes, oh god they’re more sensitive than the last time, so good, so fucking good. Long laps, he teases me with his tongue then longer sucking, deeper and deeper until I swear I can’t take it anymore. Then he stops and I scream, only quieted by him moving to my other nipple. No please, I need your cock, please, please it’s been too long.
But he doesn’t stop, again and again and then oh god it happens again, I break apart into millions of tiny pieces. My body is still shaking when Enzo flips me over the edge of the bed. There’s no warning before the smack, no demand to count it off, one cheek, then the other, back to the first one then the other, oh god why is this so fucking awesome? Wrong, this has to be so wrong only it feels so good, no, good doesn’t come close to—oh god, my ass is on fire. When it stops I’m desperately grinding against the bed, I give in and try to rub my own clit. My wrist is grabbed and pulled behind my back. Enzo, please.
“No, angel, bad girls don’t get to rub their clits. You come when I allow you to come.” Oh yes, his fingers push into my weeping pussy, only for them to disappear seconds later. I’m wondering what he’s doing
when those fingers invade, there. Oh my, a deep breath is all I’m allowed before he’s pressing deep into me. I never thought it could feel as good as it does. I never thought I would want him to not stop fucking me with his thick fingers, or that I would press my ass out, begging for more. Rubbing my breasts into the bed, I moan, asking for more.
“How sweetly you ask. I can’t deny you.” His fingers are gone. I turn to see him taking a small bottle from the bedside table. My mouth waters as he coats his cock with the lubricant. The fingers are back, slipping inside me easily, while his other hand goes down to the small of my back, holding me in place. Ah, so good, please, I plead. Before I realize the fingers are gone, it’s there, his hot cock pressing into me. A gasp escapes—his cock is much thicker than those fingers. The first few inches slip inside without pain, and I moan for more. He gives it to me: slowly his cock presses deeper, then deeper and oh god it stings, no, I can’t, it’s too much.
“Yes, you can. I’m inside you, I told you your body was made for me, I’ll fit, always.”
Hot, so hot, he’s burning into me. I can feel every bit of him. I’m trying to breathe deep then his fingers are there on my clit, gentle, insistent pressure again and again and I’m coming and now I realize Enzo is fucking me and it’s amazing, awesome, unfucking believable, I’m fucking him back moving against him, more, more, faster, deeper I’m chanting there’s no slow build, no warning before my climax slams into me. Too much, too painful, I’m shaking, grabbing at the bed, grasping for something solid to hold on to. Until I feel it: Enzo coming, spilling scalding hot come deep inside me and I swear I come again from the sensation. Then the world goes black around me.
25
Chloe
The next few days follow a schedule according to Enzo, until Friday morning when for the first time in forever I wake up before him.
I’m already waking up early most mornings to pee, but at least I can usually fall back to sleep easily. Only this morning I’m having trouble with Enzo so close, bang in the middle of the bed where every night he holds me close. On my side, facing Enzo, my eyes won’t close for long, I’m too happy he’s beside me. With a sigh I turn onto my other side. I’m still really sleepy, it’s only four in the morning. It’s not working; I can’t sleep.
I startle when Enzo’s arms go around me, tugging me up against him spoon fashion. Hm, this is nice. Gradually, I fall back asleep.
Coming awake slowly, I’m surrounded by heat. Weird, I feel like I slept for another three or four hours yet I first woke up at four, only an hour before Enzo wakes up. I turn in his arms. “Good morning.”
He chuckles. “More like afternoon.”
“Afternoon?”
“It’s a little after eleven.”
Bolting upright, I check the clock. Holy crap. “What? Work, why aren’t you at work?”
His hand wraps around my wrist, pulling me back into his arms as I lay my head on his chest. “Every time I tried to let you go, you did this frowny thing and moaned. After a little while I couldn’t bring myself to try again. I managed to get ahold of my phone to text Pauline to let her know I’m taking a day off. I called Dante for you, he’s fine with it, he said you were due a day off.”
“You’re taking the day off?”
“It happens, not often, but I figured we never had even the long weekend we were supposed to. Let’s take our long weekend now, we can hang out in the pool, go to the opera tomorrow night. How does that sound?”
“You’re just trying to get me naked in the pool.”
“We can wait until it’s dark for that.” He kisses me until I’m dizzy with love, with hope.
Over the next few weeks, we’re back to those weeks before everything went to hell. I try to stamp down the mean voice that tells me it isn’t about me, Enzo is worried about the baby. It doesn’t matter—I’ll take his care and attention any way I can get it. We have date night at least three times a week, we go to exhibits, the theater, the symphony, we have Dante and Bethany over and go over to their place for movie nights. We’ve invited Adam and Russell several times, but they are busy with their remodel and application to become foster parents.
Then we get to our twelve-week appointment. The doctor is happy with everything she sees. I’m back to once a month. Enzo gives me privacy so I can change back into my clothes. I walk out of the exam room to hear Enzo yelling. He’s done what he was told to do. His whole day revolves around making sure I eat, sleep, that I’m not stressed; now can the doctor tell him if the baby is safe?
Pain, sharp and bright, has me catching my breath. At least there are no more tears, no more of those, they aren’t good for the baby. I knew why he was doing it, but knowing it and being confronted with it are two very different things.
I don’t remember how I get through the rest of the day. I focus on wrapping myself mentally in a cocoon, where I can hide and be protected from any more pain inflicted by Enzo.
We go from the appointment to Bethany and Dante’s for dinner, which we’re bringing. Bethany is finally up to having people visit. She’s only been home for a week after two days in the hospital. As badly as I wanted to see the baby, I told her to let us know when she was ready. Alicia’s been by once.
Bethany is cuddling the baby in the family room when Dante shows us into the house.
“Hi, how are you feeling?” I try to restrain myself from begging to hold the baby.
She laughs. “Like I just had a baby. Better but oh man, am I wishing I had a cesarean like Alicia. Meet Massimo, our little chunky man, Mass for short. He was supposed to be named Rafael. We still have dibs on the name, by the way.”
Ah, he’s so cute. I take him; he’s sleepy and barely stirs when Bethany puts him in my arms. “Bethany...” I run my hand over his head, so soft. He even smells like heaven.
“Don’t you dare cry on my baby. I’m done crying. Man, the hormones wrecked my ass the first few days. Nope, no more crying.”
Blinking fast, I startle when Enzo guides me to sit down. “You look like you’re about to fall down.”
Clutching Massimo tight. “I’m fine, he’s just so beautiful.”
Enzo nods as he smiles. “He’s not half-bad. He looks like Dante down to those cheeks they look like they’re stuffed.”
“Don’t be calling my son fat.” Dante frowns.
“I didn’t say he was fat. Chill out. Not enough sleep?”
Dante sighs as he sits next to Bethany. “Actually, not too bad. He’s sleeping for four hours already, we’re lucky he’s pretty chill right now. He sat in a leaking diaper for we don’t even know how long, but when he’s hungry he screams bloody murder. When he’s awake he’ll do this snuffling thing where he’ll try and suck on his hand, that’s your warning. But when he’s asleep you don’t get a warning, he just wakes up screaming. Scares the shit out of me every damn time. Trying to get a bottle with him carrying on like that, fuck, I’ve dropped more bottles than I can count. Claudine finally has us down to making sure we have at least three bottles made up at all times.”
“Claudine is helping out?”
They both nod as they smile. “I was against us hiring a nurse or nanny. I’m home, Dante’s home, we can do this is what I was thinking. Yeah, I was wrong. We’ve never done this before, we had no idea what we were doing. Claudine has saved us, from showing us how we don’t have to give him a bath every night, we just wipe him down, to how we do give him his first bath. Making sure we have bottles made up, and all these little things we had no idea we needed to know. She’s getting a raise and someone to help her out so she can help us.” Bethany leans into Dante. “Babe, I’m starving.”
“I’m sorry, my bad. Chloe told me to put it in the oven but I didn’t want to carry it while it was hot. It needs a half hour.” Enzo stands, ready to go into the kitchen.
“I’ll get you some cheese bread until it’s done, okay?” Dante gives her a kiss when she nods. “Come on, you’re helping me.” Dante motions to Enzo.
When t
hey leave I go to sit beside her. “How are you really doing?”
“It’s weird. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of sleep or what, but it feels surreal right now. All this time I’ve been dreaming of him, and now he’s finally here. I love Dante, with my whole heart, he will own every part of me until I die. But I look at Mass and I...” She shakes her head. “I don’t have the words.”
Nodding as I look down at him. “I get it.”
“You know, before I met Dante I had this kind of struggle with the whole, I was half-Mexican this half of me that I never knew. For the longest time I felt like I didn’t belong with anyone, didn’t fit in. Then I met Dante and I fit with him. With Cesare, Alicia, we were a family, we belonged together. I hadn’t thought of it in forever. Until the day the nurse put him in my arms. A part of me was a little sad he looked like Dante, nothing like me but when he looked up at me... I swear it was like he knew me, just because we didn’t look alike didn’t mean he wasn’t a part of me, that we didn’t fit.”
She leans against me. “I thought you said no crying.” I remind her.
“I can change my mind. I’m a hormonal woman who’s just given birth. Isn’t he just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
I feel his eyes on me, I look up to see Enzo leaning against the door frame, his face is soft, the dimple is peaking out at me. I nod. “The most beautiful thing ever.”
***
Chloe
As the weeks pass Enzo is driving me crazy because he keeps yanking me out of the cocoon. From leaving the office at five on the dot, to the business trip he cancels because I wasn’t feeling well, despite my telling him I was fine, he’d only be gone two days. He refuses to answer his phone during times he’s declared ours, like during lunch or from dinner on. It didn’t matter that one time he lost out on the bid he made for a substantial share in a company; he shrugged and said there’d be other companies. He’s doing all the things I wanted him to do in the beginning.
